I am very opposed to spanking children, but I have some exception to make, having raised a daughter:
In her kindergarden was a boy, who started getting attention via biting every child. He was very strong anyhow, although not a violent character in general. It was just a phase to get extra attention.
Anyhow, my daughter picked up on that and tried the very same. My daughter was not the strongest one at all, in fact, she was the youngest one in this place, but apart from that well respected. She just gave it a try.. .for fun's sake.
When I heard this, I at first could not believe this, but got it confirmed.
I first talked to her, but no effect, it went on as before. So I had to think about another way.
I did not spank her, btw, but got the idea of doing the same to her as she does to the other ones. So I bit her, not very deep, nor in rage, but it hurt her and you could very well see my teeth for a while. She cried a lot right after, but I cooly explained, that this is, what she also did to others and that it hurt them as much. The biting was over immediately. . .
My family was raging, but I explained, that I think, its the easiest way to show her, what she really does, and sticked to this, I still do.
They later forgot all about it, particularly, because it was effective, and we stayed on good terms as before, same with my daughter. She never ever complained about this later on, only smiled.
If I very rarely spanked her now and then, it always happened, when she definitely was violent and over the top herself and only after three warnings, actually. So my own system. This way she knew, what was going to happen, from the times before. If she nevertheless went on, I did it, again not in affect, but consequently and just one short but clear slap. This game did not last very long, by the way. It seemed to be a phase only. She got it, and also about this, she never complained later on. And we often openly speak about the past. She never blamed me for this at all.
As for my own, I was hit very often at home, simply because that was the habit at that time, and parents very much into being the unquestionable authority, one could not talk about anything, but had to do, as they said. I had heavy dictators.
Yet, my father was less so and even felt bad about doing so, but did not know other ways. He was simply used to this method and thus felt to have to do it, for example when the school notes were bad, which happened very rarely for me, actually, because I was amongst the best there, despite being the youngest (I started school with 5, usually you do with 6).
Anyhow, I had a bad time for short, feeling emotionally very stressed in general, basically because of stress within the family. I was never a robotlike child. So, I once got a bad note, due to lack of concentration. My father hit my hands really hard, but since I just had a little operation on one hand, it started bleeding like mad.
I will never forget these little bleeding hands of mine plus the feeling of being very wronged, emotionally and in general, because it was not a bad note due to lazyness or bad behaviour. Since then, I always stepped back, when my father tried to cuddle me, and then he gave up to even try so.
Nevertheless, he later was the main one to help me very much to become an artist, although he was not convinced, that this would pay. We got on really well apart from touching, and he was never violent to me anymore, even started telling me to come to him, if I had any problems. I suppose, he also suffered very much under what he had done once.
I still have all his long sweet letters during my studies. He dearly loved me, as could also be seen on loads of wonderfull pictures, that he took. But cuddling? That was over once and forever. I simply stepped back,whenever he tried.
Some experiences stay forever, and that should be put into account with every spanking. If you can really justify it, also later on, its fine, if not, don't do it.
;-)
