What's considered gay ?
- Thread starter Hezam
- Start date
- 23 Sep 2005
- 1,295
- 76
What is generally considered to be "gay" in my country (England);
1. Two guys hugging, unless they are either;
a. Relatives
b. Celebrating something like their favorite football team winning in the world cup.
2. Two guys holding hands in public
3. Kissing on the mouth. Kissing on the cheeks as a form of greating is also something that is not generally practised by my culture, and would probably make most guys feel awkward.
4. Wearing tank tops or hot pants (stereotypes).
5. Being vain (sterotype).
Whatever the case though, people should not persecute or stigmatise gay people in society. Being gay is natural/normal and while you may not personally like it, people should have the right to express themselves and be who they are without subjugated etc. Having said that, whether you are gay, straight, lesbian or bisexual etc you should respect other people's personal space and act with proper manners etc. People should not be treated differently based on their sexuality (regardless of what it is), we are adults afterall and should live by setting good example.
A lot of gay guys in fact do not live up to any typical gay stereotypes, and unless you know their sexuality, you would not guess that they were gay at all. So while some things are considered "gay", not all gay guys act really gay and not all straight guys act super-straight etc. A guy can work at a hair salon, be interested in fashion & shopping and be perfectly straight, while another guy can work on a construction site (manly job), wear ordinary mens clothes and enjoy his weekends drinking a few beers with the guys while watching the football, but also be 100% gay.
So don't focus too much on what is or isn't considered to be gay. Just respect people's personal space, dress how you want to dress, act with good manners and treat all people you meet with mutual respect etc. Do this and you will do well in life ^_^v .
1. Two guys hugging, unless they are either;
a. Relatives
b. Celebrating something like their favorite football team winning in the world cup.
2. Two guys holding hands in public
3. Kissing on the mouth. Kissing on the cheeks as a form of greating is also something that is not generally practised by my culture, and would probably make most guys feel awkward.
4. Wearing tank tops or hot pants (stereotypes).
5. Being vain (sterotype).
Whatever the case though, people should not persecute or stigmatise gay people in society. Being gay is natural/normal and while you may not personally like it, people should have the right to express themselves and be who they are without subjugated etc. Having said that, whether you are gay, straight, lesbian or bisexual etc you should respect other people's personal space and act with proper manners etc. People should not be treated differently based on their sexuality (regardless of what it is), we are adults afterall and should live by setting good example.
A lot of gay guys in fact do not live up to any typical gay stereotypes, and unless you know their sexuality, you would not guess that they were gay at all. So while some things are considered "gay", not all gay guys act really gay and not all straight guys act super-straight etc. A guy can work at a hair salon, be interested in fashion & shopping and be perfectly straight, while another guy can work on a construction site (manly job), wear ordinary mens clothes and enjoy his weekends drinking a few beers with the guys while watching the football, but also be 100% gay.
So don't focus too much on what is or isn't considered to be gay. Just respect people's personal space, dress how you want to dress, act with good manners and treat all people you meet with mutual respect etc. Do this and you will do well in life ^_^v .
Last edited:
hitsugayaOMFG
Temor mi hielo bishes D:
- 17 Jun 2010
- 59
- 0
if you really want to know what gay is watch the movie Bruno @___@
- 23 Sep 2005
- 1,295
- 76
^ Lol yes, now that is VERY gay (not for the easily offended lol!). Great movie though 
!
!
Linn
Maigo ni natta
- 15 Jun 2010
- 32
- 2
oh thanks....its weird though when I chose a city in UAE it displays another country's flag.
to me I'm against showing affection in the open weather its gay or not....and people should hold hands, kiss and hug (passionately) with lovers only, so others wont get the wrong idea
hitsugayaOMFG
Temor mi hielo bishes D:
- 17 Jun 2010
- 59
- 0
^ Lol yes, now that is VERY gay (not for the easily offended lol!). Great movie though
lol yeah it was funny i laughed most when the focus group is checking out his show
@Hezam well thats what i consider gay
Tsuyoiko
DON'T PANIC!
- 11 Mar 2005
- 3,136
- 165
Well, I have it more than normal people. But even normal people here don't like to sit next to others on public transport or in waiting rooms.
If you got on a bus, would you sit next to someone or find an empty seat? Here, it's considered extremely weird to sit next to a stranger if there are empty seats available. Quite often, people sit on the outside seat, or put their bag next to them to make it clear they don't want anyone to sit by them.
token
後輩
- 26 Aug 2011
- 6
- 0
That's an easy question Hezam... if it's girly it's gay... sharing emotions is girly hence gay meaning two guys kissing is gay... colour pink is gay, flowers are gay etc.
If you add a girl into it instead of a guy it's foreplay
Example:
In Spartacus series (the new one) where two half naked men oil each other up and then go at each other in an arena while lot of people watch them is...
That's right manly
Ok I was half joking there but the essence of it holds true, if you sprinkle a little homophobia (not much) it should be very easy to see what's considered gay and what's not.
If you add a girl into it instead of a guy it's foreplay
Example:
In Spartacus series (the new one) where two half naked men oil each other up and then go at each other in an arena while lot of people watch them is...
That's right manly
Ok I was half joking there but the essence of it holds true, if you sprinkle a little homophobia (not much) it should be very easy to see what's considered gay and what's not.
Nuala
Hell's Finest Daughter
- 15 Jul 2004
- 1,725
- 39
I once thought there was no such thing as a stupid question, but I've been proved wrong! What's the big deal with homosexuality? Is it unnatural because of the fact that the only way for humans to reproduce is through a man and a woman? Is it a sin because a book and cultural leaders says it is so? This brings great sadness to my heart. I am beyond homosexuality and sexuality for that matter. I don't need to have sex. I'd like to have a partner, be it a man or a woman, but love goes beyond gender for me. It goes beyond culture. Love is indiscriminate.
To believe otherwise is delusion, sorry. I accept the bias you hold but to propose it is undeniable truth is nothing more than insane.
To believe otherwise is delusion, sorry. I accept the bias you hold but to propose it is undeniable truth is nothing more than insane.
Nuala
Hell's Finest Daughter
- 15 Jul 2004
- 1,725
- 39
hmmm.....can you ask a gay some questions.
- Are you happy with being gay ?
- Do you wish you were Stright ?
- Have you said to your self " i'm not supposed to be gay " ?
Try to get the honest answer...
Thank you
I know plenty of homosexual people, and you know what? They're untroubled about their sexuality. I know it's insane for you to consider, Hezam, but there are plenty of Islamic/Middle Eastern men and women who identify as homosexual and seek their own spring.
token
後輩
- 26 Aug 2011
- 6
- 0
You sound like you're in the closet
To me it seems like only insecure people would react to it, if someones gay then so what? it's not going to change anything... imagine a friend of yours being gay... besides from own insecurity why should anything change? not like "because you know, he'll molest you now" or something... it's not some contaigious germ you can catch... worse case scenario is he'll say he likes you and you'll say no... that's it.
Nuala
Hell's Finest Daughter
- 15 Jul 2004
- 1,725
- 39
That's the thing, Hezam. So much of the Middle-East revolves around Islam. As such, the fanatics and hate mongers will take following the Quran too far and well, check it out, homosexuality is illegal? If bias towards homosexuality is ingrained in a culture, how could homosexual people not fear reprisal from their governments, communities, and even their families? If Islam is a major player in your culture, and the culture supports hardline interpretations, what can homosexual people do?
They need to get out and move somewhere that won't murder them for their sexuality, and trust me, the USA is only just warming up to the idea of homosexuality. A large percentage of this country would see homosexual people brainwashed without a second thought if there wasn't also strong support for homosexuality. From my own point of view? Homosexuality isn't a choice. Your sexuality, like so many other aspects of what makes you who you are, is unchangeable and undeniable. To be honest..I identify as asexual. That means I don't have sexual attraction towards men or women. I just don't. I love as much as any other person, but the sexual attraction just isn't there.
And I go beyond that too, but it's a story for another time.
Tsuyoiko
DON'T PANIC!
- 11 Mar 2005
- 3,136
- 165
I'm speaking from what gay friends have told me and from what I've observed. Things have improved a lot for gay people in the last 20 years. When I was a teenager, most gay people I knew were very quiet about it, I guess through fear of others' reactions. I think the hardest step for most was coming out to their family, although that's probably still true now. I think the legalisation of gay marriage has probably had a big effect on people's attitudes - if the state views gay partnerships as legitimate, then I think it's harder for people to be openly homophobic.
Nowadays, most of the gay people I know are very open about it. The same people who were in the closet 15 or 20 years ago make no secret of their sexuality and seem a lot more comfortable than they did back then. I'm sure that's partly because they have come to terms with it, but I think it's also partly because they have less fear of negative reactions. Friends who were in their late teens and early 20s back then were generally in the closet; friends who are that age now are generally open about it.
There are still a lot of people who say they "don't like it", particularly in the older generation. But for most of them, it's just something they say, it doesn't affect how they act towards gay people at all. My ex-colleague said he "didn't like it", but he had no problem at all with our boss being gay, or with another team member who got married to another man - he contributed to his gift and congratulated the guy with the rest of us. I'm sure there is a small minority of people who are truly homophobic in a way that would affect how they treat gay people, but I don't know anyone like that.
- 7 Jun 2008
- 1,029
- 113
Given the focus of this forum, Hezam, someone ought to mention that Japanese are even more averse to touching others than are Westerners.
This cultural aversion does not apply to anonymous situations, like crowded subways. But it does mean that displays of affection in public are rare. You'll hardly ever see any sort of physical contact even between spouses and family members after a long time apart.
This cultural aversion does not apply to anonymous situations, like crowded subways. But it does mean that displays of affection in public are rare. You'll hardly ever see any sort of physical contact even between spouses and family members after a long time apart.
- 8 Aug 2005
- 7,316
- 3,727
I'd say that anyone who wishes they were someone or something else are clearly insecure about themselves. The attitudes of people around you go a long way to determine how happy we are with ourselves.
As an example, imagine you were gay: how much self esteem can you have when the people around you have a negative opinion of homosexuality and say they are less than human. Would you feel content with who you are, or would you be ashamed and wish you were someone else? Now imagine that you have never told anyone; how comfortable would you be, surrounded by people who hate gays and are disgusted by homosexuality, but don't know that you are homosexual? You've never talked to anyone about it, and feel that you are completely alone in the world. Would you not, in turn, begin to hate yourself for who you are, for something you can't change about yourself? Is that a fair situation?
What if you lived in a society that imposed the death penalty on homosexuals. How secure would you feel? If someone found you out, would you kill them to protect your secret? Would you kill yourself? Would you try to escape?
Now, instead of homosexuality, say it's your religion. What if everyone around you believed that Muslims (or Christians, or Jews, etc) were an abomination and should be put to death? Would you try to accept a different religion, and go against what you feel is right for yourself? How far could you go to maintain your sense of self when the society around you beats down on your people; you have no one to talk to, no one to listen. You are all alone.
What would you do?
And yet, despite this strong aversion to public intimacy, all over Asia you see friends of the same sex walking down the street hand-in-hand, arm-in-arm or with an arm flung over each other's shoulder; things which confuses westerners who misinterpret this as a sign of sexual preference. Although it doesn't bother me one way or another, I'd be lying if I said my cultural conditioning didn't make that label pop into my head when I see guys walking down the street holding hands. My understanding is that this is a common sign of platonic affection in Muslim culture as well, I've seen photos of American presidents holding hands with Saudi princes when they visit.
So, what is considered "gay?" It depends on what you've been raised to interpret as "gay."
As an example, imagine you were gay: how much self esteem can you have when the people around you have a negative opinion of homosexuality and say they are less than human. Would you feel content with who you are, or would you be ashamed and wish you were someone else? Now imagine that you have never told anyone; how comfortable would you be, surrounded by people who hate gays and are disgusted by homosexuality, but don't know that you are homosexual? You've never talked to anyone about it, and feel that you are completely alone in the world. Would you not, in turn, begin to hate yourself for who you are, for something you can't change about yourself? Is that a fair situation?
What if you lived in a society that imposed the death penalty on homosexuals. How secure would you feel? If someone found you out, would you kill them to protect your secret? Would you kill yourself? Would you try to escape?
Now, instead of homosexuality, say it's your religion. What if everyone around you believed that Muslims (or Christians, or Jews, etc) were an abomination and should be put to death? Would you try to accept a different religion, and go against what you feel is right for yourself? How far could you go to maintain your sense of self when the society around you beats down on your people; you have no one to talk to, no one to listen. You are all alone.
What would you do?
And yet, despite this strong aversion to public intimacy, all over Asia you see friends of the same sex walking down the street hand-in-hand, arm-in-arm or with an arm flung over each other's shoulder; things which confuses westerners who misinterpret this as a sign of sexual preference. Although it doesn't bother me one way or another, I'd be lying if I said my cultural conditioning didn't make that label pop into my head when I see guys walking down the street holding hands. My understanding is that this is a common sign of platonic affection in Muslim culture as well, I've seen photos of American presidents holding hands with Saudi princes when they visit.
So, what is considered "gay?" It depends on what you've been raised to interpret as "gay."
Emoni
先輩
- 20 Sep 2003
- 1,779
- 67
I gotta say, for Hezam to come from what I generally understand as a culture that isn't exactly open to understanding homosexuality, the causes, and people who are gay, (even the most "understanding" cultures still have large amounts of hate and close mindedness) then for him to actively pose questions questions towards the purpose of trying to understand has impressed me. That effort just to learn of how other cultures view such things is quite a complex topic in and of itself.
If half the world was able to sit down and start talking and listening like this, there would be a lot less problems. Points for Hezam on this.
If half the world was able to sit down and start talking and listening like this, there would be a lot less problems. Points for Hezam on this.
