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Okay. The Japanese "R" is made by placing the tip of the tongue on the alveolar ridge (the bumpy ridge behind your top front teeth) in about the same place as when making a "T" sound. Then try, from that position, to make an English "L" sound.
According to Wikipedia, the Japanese "R" varies between a retroflex flap and an alveolar lateral flap. Here are some links to those pages.
Retroflex flap
Alveolar lateral flap
There's an audio clip of someone saying "ramen" on the Alveolar lateral flap page.
EDIT: Later when I get home, I'll try to upload a recording of me saying the sounds so that native speakers can determine if I really know what I'm talking about haha.
Been practicing and when I try it L just seems like L to me. And trying to say a word like yoru(Night) Breaks my tounge trying to quickly get that tongue position. I assume thats just muscle practice, i don't believe I'm getting the right sound though. Unsure
I've heard Americans say it sounds like d, and I never really heard them as similar, but making them is in a similar position. D presses a little more, but r flicks a little more.
Try not to press too hard into the "R" position. It's considered a flap, so your tongue just has to flick into and out of the position quickly. An English language example of a flap is how when we say "water" quickly, it sounds like "wadder". You can also try to relax a bit on the positioning and use the blade of the tongue rather than the tip.
"T" and "D" sounds are articulated in the same position in English, so it's not surprising that Japanese "R", which is articulated in a similar position, could occasionally sound to English speakers like a "D". The only difference between "T" and "D" in English is that "D" is voiced whereas "T" is voiceless.
Well ain't this difficult. How do you tell when you've said it right?
Well, you have to listen to a lot of Japanese. If you can't say it at all, it's hard to recognize. Once you have it roughly right, it starts to stand out more. It's a weird phenomena, where it's really hard to hear until you can make it yourself.
But to ask people if you're doing it right on the Internet? We don't know what sound you're making.
It is very difficult for most adults to create new sounds with their mouth without a lot of conscious effort, but it can be done.
Well ain't this difficult. How do you tell when you've said it right?
If you want, you could record yourself and post it here. There are quite a few native speakers here as well as those who have been learning/speaking it for some time and can at least give you some idea if it sounds good.
Sorry that I haven't gotten around to making a recording of myself...I just wasn't up for it last night.
"Ru re ro" in 3 are good. "Ra" tends to be too trilling, and "ri" is too close to "l" in English.
#3 is better than #5.
Unlike "ra", "ru", "re", "ro", the place of articulation of "ri" is palatal, which means it is articulated with the middle or back part of the tongue raised to the hard palate. That's why your "ri"s sound like "i" or "li".
Alveolo-palatal consonant - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia