What Should I Do About My Racists Dad?

[Kagura]

Yeah.......of course I love Jrock, but my Dad (and my Mom) never let me show it, and they're trying to get me to stop listening to it. It isn't because it's in a different language, it's just because my Dad is racist and doesn't like me listening to Asian music period. Trust me, I've tried explining it as much as I possibly could have but he just won't have it. He says I'm trying to "deny my heritage," which is not true, it's not like I'm telling people I'm Japanese rather than Hispanic, or that I say other races suck but Asians are cool. Should I just wait until I move out...I mean I am 18, but I've got no place to go . I mean, I could sort of understand why he wouldn't like me listening to Jrock if I was trying to force him to listen to it but that's not the case at all. I can't even hang a Dir en Grey poster on my wall because they're a Japanese band, and the poster doesn't even have the band on it, just their name! Ook...I'm done ranting....anyone have any suggestions? Or would anyone be willing to have a fangirl as their room mate? LOL I wish XD

 

[frostyg02uk]

Your 18 right? tell them to leave you alone. If they'd kick you out for listening to music then so be it. I wonder what your dad does to celebrate his heritage lol. Are you the only children they have? If so it might explain it a little, maybe your dad thinks your gonna go run off to asia on them. Maybe you'd be better off talking to him about it.

 

[Geostigma]

If you haven't already, I think you should sit down with your dad and explain to him that your hobbies are yours to choose. I've had a few similar experiences myself. I'd be listening to some Japanese music or watching anime and my mom or dad would come in and roll their eyes or something but they never bothered me about it really. I suggest trying to explain it to them again that it is harmless and if they still don't relent then they are at fault. The way I see it, no one can tell anyone how to live their life. It would be pretty tough, but you could always get a job and find a roomate somewhere to share an apartment with or something like that.

 

[melody90]

i dont think the problem is that major that you need to move out. your taste are yours to choose. keep the CDs in your cupboard, listen to it in your room, what right do they have to stop you? as long as you dont talk about it in front of them, or try to flood your whole house with japanese posters. if its denying your heritage, wouldnt that mean we chinese cant listen to english songs?

 

[lilyofthevalley]

maybe you could meet him half-way and when your dad is around listen to some Hispanic artists etc. and when you listen to Japanese artists listen with headphones on. And instead of posters maybe just keep pictures of Jrockers in a little folder and keep that hidden, etc.

 

[RukaNightmare]

I feel unhappy for u >.< I think the most important thing is to tell him that each person has his/her own taste for music and that you're 18 now, u haf ur own rights. No one can interfere with things like this. U like it and that's it. If none of the suggestions here work i tink you'll just haf to look for a place to move out (dat would be the last resort) Good luck to you.

 

[RevengeBabyYeah]

Awww Kagura! *Hugs*
Poor kitten. Yeah you probably should try talking with im about it. Or maybe talking about/ listening to Hispanic artists with him?
It must be so hard for you, sounds like you really love J-music.

My parents aren't crazy about J-Rock either. "What are these Japanese people to you?" and if I say I'm going out with japanese friends it's like "Here she goes again".
It's not as if I ONLY like japanese culture and music, theres loads of other cultures and music I'm into. Tuh parents huh?

 

[Grandpa Frank]

Dad's can be a pain.

When I wrote home that I was going to marry a Japanese girl, my dad told me not to bother coming home, I wouldn't be his son anymore. I guess the fact he fought in the South Pacific against the Japanese slanted his views.

Uncle Frank

 

[Ma Cherie]

Yeah.......of course I love Jrock, but my Dad (and my Mom) never let me show it, and they're trying to get me to stop listening to it. It isn't because it's in a different language, it's just because my Dad is racist and doesn't like me listening to Asian music period. Trust me, I've tried explining it as much as I possibly could have but he just won't have it. He says I'm trying to "deny my heritage," which is not true, it's not like I'm telling people I'm Japanese rather than Hispanic, or that I say other races suck but Asians are cool. Should I just wait until I move out...I mean I am 18, but I've got no place to go . I mean, I could sort of understand why he wouldn't like me listening to Jrock if I was trying to force him to listen to it but that's not the case at all. I can't even hang a Dir en Grey poster on my wall because they're a Japanese band, and the poster doesn't even have the band on it, just their name! Ook...I'm done ranting....anyone have any suggestions? Or would anyone be willing to have a fangirl as their room mate? LOL I wish XD

I think saying your dad is a racist is kind of a strong word. I think the issue here seems that he probably doesn't understand your interest in Jrock, I could be wrong, but it seems like one of those things in which you being Hispanic you should be only interested in your own culture and it's music. I wouldn't recommend moving out, by the way. But I think the only advice I have is to offer is try getting your dad to understand that listening to Asian music has nothing to do with denying your own heritage. It's more about your own interest in the music.

 

[SaKeVi]

I understand your father's behave (I'm hispanic) but I definitely don't agree with that.

It's hard to explain, somehow hispanic people are "proud" (bleh..) of their roots, and they think that moving and living somewhere else will make them dissapear; I mean, his father is afraid that Kagura will not be interested anymore in her roots and hispanic stuff. I know, that's crazy, but that's how things are here.

I remember my father behaved in that way too; my older brother used to play some japanese metal songs for me when I was a little kid to make me sleep, and everytime my father found that out, he got crazy and even broke some records, because he hated those "chinese singers" (they were japanese, but he called chinese to all asians) I don't know what he would do now and how he would behave, I have a lot of japanese friends... it could be crazy hahaha.

So, I don't know how much helps if you move out, or even talk to him; I don't want to be disrespectful, but your father looks like a 100% macho machﾃｭn, ajua!. Unfortunately, they want to have the last word in everything.

Go girl!! good luck

 

[Nall-ohki]

When I wrote home that I was going to marry a Japanese girl, my dad told me not to bother coming home, I wouldn't be his son anymore. I guess the fact he fought in the South Pacific against the Japanese slanted his views.
Uncle Frank

That's Harsh.

... yeah. "Harsh" is the word.

 

[Kikyos_Souls]

Wow! I am lucky my mom isn't that way, she is delighted I want to know more about other cultures, etc.
Have you decided what your going to do Kagura? There is a lot of good advice here. I don't think I could add any more since most has been said and it has been a while since you first posted.
I hope everything has gone alright, good luck if it hasn't.
*hugs for both you and Uncle Frank*