What is the definition of GOOD PARENTS??
- Thread starter anomouse
- Start date
- 8 Aug 2005
- 7,316
- 3,727
What kind of model are you talking about? what specifically is your beef with this show (as you've referenced it several times). Not all of us have seen it or know what you are referring to. Do you care to answer your own question to get the ball rolling?
And besides, those shows are intended to show just how certain actions affect the way others act around you (which is why the nannies spend a lot of time trying to get the parents to change instead of just disciplining their children for them). I suppose you think the dog whisperer is a horrible model for training your pets? The same principal applies.
And besides, those shows are intended to show just how certain actions affect the way others act around you (which is why the nannies spend a lot of time trying to get the parents to change instead of just disciplining their children for them). I suppose you think the dog whisperer is a horrible model for training your pets? The same principal applies.
theAlphaDuck
Sempai
- 5 Jul 2008
- 102
- 3
good parenting involves...
attention, love and setting boundries
beyond that it's simply how you want your little sprog to be...
every child is there to be molded.
and it's very easy to do...
want your kid to be a hard worker...simply everytime he/she does something good praise the amount of work that was put in.
"wow johhny...you got all the sums on your maths homework right...you must have worked really hard on that...well done!"
or if you want confidence...praise the ability
"wow johnny...you got all the sums on your maths homework right...you must be really clever...well done!"
ect. ect. ect.
attention, love and setting boundries
beyond that it's simply how you want your little sprog to be...
every child is there to be molded.
and it's very easy to do...
want your kid to be a hard worker...simply everytime he/she does something good praise the amount of work that was put in.
"wow johhny...you got all the sums on your maths homework right...you must have worked really hard on that...well done!"
or if you want confidence...praise the ability
"wow johnny...you got all the sums on your maths homework right...you must be really clever...well done!"
ect. ect. ect.
- Thread starter
- #4
- 8 Aug 2005
- 7,316
- 3,727
showing a link doesn't answer the question. What about it do you disagree with? Also, what makes you think that this is considered a "good model" in the US or Britain.
You also haven't answered your OWN question. This thread is not off to a good start...
You also haven't answered your OWN question. This thread is not off to a good start...
Otenba
後輩
- 1 Apr 2007
- 113
- 2
They love their child but also educate it firmly to respect and never needlessly harm or hurt another being, and to consider another's feelings before hurting them. They will punish injustice done to and by their child in an adequate manner and teach their child why their deed was bad and how to do better in the future.
Their education would be non-violent, but not overly lenient either.
They would teach their child not to hate or disrespect anyone who hasn't wronged the world and will never teach discrimination of any color, race, sexual orientation, overweight, wearing glasses, social class, or religion unless those that have proven harmful (for example satanism or pederasts). In other words, their child will be taught to be just and open-minded and never be mean to the innocent.
Good parents will also listen to their child's wishes. Maybe not grant all of them, but also not force their will upon the child when it's obvious that the child won't be able to bear it. For example, I have once seen a couple try to force their tiny daughter to go snorkling with dolphins in the ocean. I've done it and it's frightening even to me, so what must it be like for that little girl (4 or 5 years old?) to drift in salty water, look down upon a ship wreck 15 metres below, surrounded by huge dolphins that tend to play tricks on you? They tried to make their little girl go in there while she was crying, but OH MY GOD they had already paid! When it's obvious that you are about to traumatize your child for life, STOP! For chrissake. They let their daughter leave the water, thank God. If they hadn't, not only would they probably have destroyed a little girl's fascination of dolphins, but also made her fear the water forever. The tiny chance that forcing her and her changing her mind and loving it, just wasn't worth risking all those traumas.
So a child's wishes should be taken into consideration, but that doesn't mean always giving the child what he or she wants and spoiling the child rotten. Spoiling is dangerous, can lead to a permanent lack of independance caused by expectations of help from others, leading to the inability to act when required. Sometimes, saying no and not giving someone what they want, will make them stronger.
This would take me to the next point which is a good balance between protecting your child and assisting it. When your child can get up by itself, don't help. Let it develop the strength to get up by itself, something it'll need in many occasions in life. You can't always expect someone to help you, so better become strong on your own.
But, when a child is obviously in need of physical or mental help/suport/a hug and can't really get up by itself, give it what it needs. Don't turn your back on a child that's being lost or bullied and completely horrified by its surroundings. Listen and look for solutions, and they might not always be easy.
Traumas and bad experiences happen easily and can take decades to heal or at least to stop ruling over a child's and later an adult's daily life. Some never subside. When you get the impression that your child might be traumatized or permanently negatively influenced by something you (as a parent) or someone else is about to do or say, stop it from happening, immediately take your child out of that environment. You may save your child's mental health. I'm not advocating over-protecting a child though. Seeing nudity, getting used to predatory animals killing and not kissing their prey and getting comfortable around homosexuality, are not bad things, for example. And if treated correctly by parents and other people that serve as a role model to children, they will not become a trauma, either. Of course, when mommy is a bit dumb and says that all homosexuals are evil, child will grow up believing that and being utterly traumatized when talked to by a gay person, but if mommy is mentally ok and doesn't discriminate people for their sexual orientation, child will most probably grow up to be an open-minded person as well.
Oh, and not teaching your child to be a religious zealot is also a nice thing and a good start for an open-minded life. Can also save your child from strapping an explosive belt to its waist.
Are my parents good parents? My father never even called on my birthday for 21 years. My mom spoiled me rotten. So they both made mistakes, but I know my mum has always loved and supported me, has suffered and cried because of me, and that she regards me as the center of her world. She loves me so much she moved to a place as horrible as Palestine in order to earn the money she needs to support me. Whatever mistakes she's made, she is a great, unselfish mother and I wish I was better at showing my appreciation.
My father? Whatever. Nice guy. Gotta say though, he went to prison twice for defending his son against stuck-up agents who think they're high and mighty enough to insult my brother. My dad beat them up at both occasions and took his penalty with pride, saying he'd so it again if they were to wrong his son again. I know he'd do the same for me. He's a bit of an idiot but he is a man with a spine who will stand up for those he loves.
SUPERNANNY: a pretty woman showing off new fashion trends by wearing them to her "missions" (check the end credits... brands, brands, brands!) and at the same time, pretending to be an expert while behind the scenes, she constantly asks the real, less photogenic expert, what to do next. A case resolved on TV, is often a case gone worse in real life but you get paid not to talk about it. Because reality TV ain't so real.
Their education would be non-violent, but not overly lenient either.
They would teach their child not to hate or disrespect anyone who hasn't wronged the world and will never teach discrimination of any color, race, sexual orientation, overweight, wearing glasses, social class, or religion unless those that have proven harmful (for example satanism or pederasts). In other words, their child will be taught to be just and open-minded and never be mean to the innocent.
Good parents will also listen to their child's wishes. Maybe not grant all of them, but also not force their will upon the child when it's obvious that the child won't be able to bear it. For example, I have once seen a couple try to force their tiny daughter to go snorkling with dolphins in the ocean. I've done it and it's frightening even to me, so what must it be like for that little girl (4 or 5 years old?) to drift in salty water, look down upon a ship wreck 15 metres below, surrounded by huge dolphins that tend to play tricks on you? They tried to make their little girl go in there while she was crying, but OH MY GOD they had already paid! When it's obvious that you are about to traumatize your child for life, STOP! For chrissake. They let their daughter leave the water, thank God. If they hadn't, not only would they probably have destroyed a little girl's fascination of dolphins, but also made her fear the water forever. The tiny chance that forcing her and her changing her mind and loving it, just wasn't worth risking all those traumas.
So a child's wishes should be taken into consideration, but that doesn't mean always giving the child what he or she wants and spoiling the child rotten. Spoiling is dangerous, can lead to a permanent lack of independance caused by expectations of help from others, leading to the inability to act when required. Sometimes, saying no and not giving someone what they want, will make them stronger.
This would take me to the next point which is a good balance between protecting your child and assisting it. When your child can get up by itself, don't help. Let it develop the strength to get up by itself, something it'll need in many occasions in life. You can't always expect someone to help you, so better become strong on your own.
But, when a child is obviously in need of physical or mental help/suport/a hug and can't really get up by itself, give it what it needs. Don't turn your back on a child that's being lost or bullied and completely horrified by its surroundings. Listen and look for solutions, and they might not always be easy.
Traumas and bad experiences happen easily and can take decades to heal or at least to stop ruling over a child's and later an adult's daily life. Some never subside. When you get the impression that your child might be traumatized or permanently negatively influenced by something you (as a parent) or someone else is about to do or say, stop it from happening, immediately take your child out of that environment. You may save your child's mental health. I'm not advocating over-protecting a child though. Seeing nudity, getting used to predatory animals killing and not kissing their prey and getting comfortable around homosexuality, are not bad things, for example. And if treated correctly by parents and other people that serve as a role model to children, they will not become a trauma, either. Of course, when mommy is a bit dumb and says that all homosexuals are evil, child will grow up believing that and being utterly traumatized when talked to by a gay person, but if mommy is mentally ok and doesn't discriminate people for their sexual orientation, child will most probably grow up to be an open-minded person as well.
Oh, and not teaching your child to be a religious zealot is also a nice thing and a good start for an open-minded life. Can also save your child from strapping an explosive belt to its waist.
Are my parents good parents? My father never even called on my birthday for 21 years. My mom spoiled me rotten. So they both made mistakes, but I know my mum has always loved and supported me, has suffered and cried because of me, and that she regards me as the center of her world. She loves me so much she moved to a place as horrible as Palestine in order to earn the money she needs to support me. Whatever mistakes she's made, she is a great, unselfish mother and I wish I was better at showing my appreciation.
My father? Whatever. Nice guy. Gotta say though, he went to prison twice for defending his son against stuck-up agents who think they're high and mighty enough to insult my brother. My dad beat them up at both occasions and took his penalty with pride, saying he'd so it again if they were to wrong his son again. I know he'd do the same for me. He's a bit of an idiot but he is a man with a spine who will stand up for those he loves.
SUPERNANNY: a pretty woman showing off new fashion trends by wearing them to her "missions" (check the end credits... brands, brands, brands!) and at the same time, pretending to be an expert while behind the scenes, she constantly asks the real, less photogenic expert, what to do next. A case resolved on TV, is often a case gone worse in real life but you get paid not to talk about it. Because reality TV ain't so real.
- Thread starter
- #7
What I disagree is their punitive approach. The threatening approach like "if you do this, I'll punish you" But then it's typical in these countries.
Ashikaga
もちもちした食感
- 19 Feb 2008
- 2,220
- 84
I used to watch the US version of the show (Supernanny). One thing about it is that the Supenanny is sent to homes with kids who are out of control where maybe some drastic approaches are needed. Plus, I don't know what you mean by their "punitive approach". I don't remember seeing such thing on that show. What the Supernanny does is send the kid who has misbehaved to the "Naughty Chair" where s/he is told to think about what they have done and cool off. Is that a punitive/threatening approach?
I thought that the basic messages that the show sends out ( You are NOT your child's friend but a parent / You have to teach your kids that rules are there for a reason and there are consequenses if broken, etc.) were sound ones.
I found Supernanny rather attractive, too.
I thought that the basic messages that the show sends out ( You are NOT your child's friend but a parent / You have to teach your kids that rules are there for a reason and there are consequenses if broken, etc.) were sound ones.
I found Supernanny rather attractive, too.
Kirakira1232
素敵な冒険始まる！
- 6 May 2008
- 472
- 16
I dont know why but I could see the Supernanny as some kind of Dominatrix
"You've been a VERY NAUGHTY BOY ASHI-KUN~! GO TO THE NAUGHTY CHAIR!"
As for what constitute a good parent...I think there is a lot of selflessness involved when it comes to being a parent. Not so much that I think parents should be doormats...just that they cant just think of doing things completely for themselves anymore (and that they should cherish the relatively few times they can do things for themselves while being a parent). There also has to be an element of firmness and boundary setting.
Most of all I think parents really need to know when to let their children go when they get older...and if they make mistakes to be there when they fall. Thats all I think I really want from a parent.
Last edited:
- 1 Nov 2005
- 446
- 39
I think that good parents must always be a good example for their children. I mean when parents try to teach their children honesty and respect for others then they thermselves should be the children's example.
- 26 Feb 2003
- 2,337
- 86
I agree. Sadly, good examples are becoming harder to find these days. There is no training manual for becoming a "good" parent. I think it's a mutual journey of discovery, exploration, trial-and-error, common sense, etc etc all rolled into one for each individual parent. What works well for one parent might not apply for another. It is up to the parents (and the children as well) to discover what parenting style best reflects themselves.
Some parents like my brother and his wife are very pro-active in their kid's lives. Meaning they try to encourage them to be focused in/on a particular sport or activity at an early age in the hopes of nurturing the next Tiger Woods lol. And yet our own parents were very open and superfluous about how we were raised. My mother encourgaed me to try new things but she never forced or pushed me into one specific direction. She felt it was best I learnt/discovered for myself where my inclination/talents lie. So I guess I could see both types of parents as "good" in that regard.
Some parents like my brother and his wife are very pro-active in their kid's lives. Meaning they try to encourage them to be focused in/on a particular sport or activity at an early age in the hopes of nurturing the next Tiger Woods lol. And yet our own parents were very open and superfluous about how we were raised. My mother encourgaed me to try new things but she never forced or pushed me into one specific direction. She felt it was best I learnt/discovered for myself where my inclination/talents lie. So I guess I could see both types of parents as "good" in that regard.
- Thread starter
- #12
This is exactly what I wanted to say.
http://www.awareparenting.com/supernanny.htm
I'm surprised this forum uses the same technique to control the members here. So I said the moderators here are supernannies.
http://www.awareparenting.com/supernanny.htm
I'm surprised this forum uses the same technique to control the members here. So I said the moderators here are supernannies.
Gackt21
Gackt's Queen
- 3 Aug 2008
- 385
- 4
First of all, so you all know I was a child of an abusive household. Where my mother made up illnesses for me so that she could dumb me down. I was mental beaten with hateful words that were driving me suiside. My adopted father kicked me in the tail bone for talking back to the abuser my adopted mother. Life was hard and I never had really caring parents.
Good parents have borders that you both set. They must know what you will not take from them and you know what they will not take. As long as you both are on the same page you will be fine.
Good parents should have these traits:
Willingness to talk with their children
Trustworthiness
love
understanding
patience
Good parents have borders that you both set. They must know what you will not take from them and you know what they will not take. As long as you both are on the same page you will be fine.
Good parents should have these traits:
Willingness to talk with their children
Trustworthiness
love
understanding
patience
Emoni
先輩
- 20 Sep 2003
- 1,779
- 67
Damn good start here. Just these traits and effort is a major step in the right direction in my opinion.
korp
先輩
- 8 Aug 2008
- 31
- 0
Good parenting involves alot of factors, not least to be able to deal and adjust to the temperament of a child. However there are some factors that have been proven in research to be benfical to all children, even accros cultures with some variations. I dont know these right now since it was a long time I had my exams on developmental psychology hehe But if anyone is intrested I can have a little look in my books?
