Question for the Japanese people of the board/日本人への質問

[neptunemoon]

Wow you just gave me hope that is so cool. I love the tango. Maybe I should learn flamenco. As for all the affection talk I'm all about public display of affection. I would probably be stared at or bad mouthed in japan if it's the way you guys make it sound

 

[silver angel]

I know what you mean! we just got the spanish flare! But you're BY FAR way more pretty and beautiful than I. (Sil-chan...) I love dancing the merengue (sp?) *_* But I feel your pain with the whole spanish/japanese coupling. I'm not even sure if it's happened all that often.

 

[kirei_na_me]

silver angel, you are beautiful. Don't even go there!

Anyway, there are Asian men married to Spanish women. I think there are several Spanish women on the mailing lists(for foreign women married to Japanese men)that I'm a member of. They do exist!

 

[neptunemoon]

Silver angel you are very pretty. Listen to me an kirei_na_me. I love the salsa better than merengue and i'm learning bachata to me thats a little hard to learn but I love to dance.

 

[neko_girl22]

Originally posted by Kat
Well honestly if I was with a Japanese guy and he didn't show much physical affection I don't think I could deal with it. I'd be going crazy for him to hold me close at night and stuff like that. I wouldn't like it if he always spaced himself out far away from me on the bed.

I'm not affectionate with a lot of people myself but when it comes to someone I'm really attracted to I'll practically die to touch them. I'd need it to be fully happy in the relationship.

Anyway, this might be too personal a question to ask, I don't know, but are Japanese guys even physically affectionate during sex? I am just curious if anyone can answer my question. If it's too personal though you don't have to, but I'm not asking for details here. I'm just wondering if they kiss during sex and snuggle close or show any kind of loving emotion really....

Thanks if anyone can answer me.

In my little experience with J-men and talking with a J guy friend right now , I guess most are fine in private. It's PDA that they are generally uncomfortable with - it's not polite , really.

My husband was fine in New Zealand and in private he's really sweet, but still finds PDA difficult in Japan. It's a cultural thing and is no reflection on our relationship so I don't worry about it. We were at a convention recently though and he had his arm around me and after the session a lady came up to us with tears in her eyes saying what a cute couple we are. I guess we stood out!

 

[budd]

pasted

Amazon.com: New Worlds, New Lives: Globalization and People of Japanese Descent in the Americas and from Latin America in Japan (Asian America) (9780804744621): Hirabayashi, Lane Ryo, Kikumura-Yano, Akemi, Hirabayashi, James A.: Books
Amazon.com: Circle K Cycles (9781566891080): Yamashita, Karen Tei: Books
Amazon.com: Circle K Cycles (9781566891080): Yamashita, Karen Tei: Books

not pda, but interesting/depressing
pen-pal for two years right?
edit: type of emailing me after two days unanswered email "hey, did you take me off the list? where's email?"
eventually came to japan. hey, i don't have pen-pal phone number! i should call and say hey, cat and dog at least
hotel clerk says "let me see the envelope"
translates romajinized name into kanji hello pages number, calls pen-pal's house
meet pen-pal and kick it, no problem?
but it IS NOT until back home i find out from (while he is drunk) jpn nationalist mutual friend, pen-pal is very upset for calling his home
drunk friend "you should have emailed!"
"but what if the plane got canceled?! i was just calling to say hi anyway!"
a lot of arguing
left resturant before him, walked back to his apartment where my car was and vamped

 

[silver angel]

ouchu! That must've sucked. *pat on back* there there.
My penpals (3, two guys and one girl, 19,17,15) are all from Japan and all I had to say is if they'd like to be friends and they all sent their pictures and told me that they love Canada. ^_^ They are all very nice!

 

[budd]

nah it's cool now

actually, i should have known better
i think the previous trip, the night i got in, i called his cell phone, and managed to tell him the name of the place i was staying
but was too cheap to put another ten yen in the phone to tell him the phone number and room
next day, went about enjoying the sights (i try walking in a different direction each day)
came back that night, and hostel clerk/ra told me he had called
i was like cool, shrugged and went back out until i got tired enough to sleep till next morining straight (curfews)
went to breakfast after cleaning up and all that
ten gotta be out, so they can clean the room
took a nap
woke up at nine thirty or something, staggered to the door to visit the broom jic, and saw this note had been under the door
"dear bud, i am waiting for you in the lobby. please meet me when you get ready to go."
just walked through the door and he was sitting there reading a book... he been sitting there for at least an hour and a half judging from the time on the note
see what i'm saying? here in america, i got jokas calling me at 1:00 - 6:00 am in the morning/banging on the door/begging for money, and this man didn't even knock during the daytime to tell me he was there!
so i SHOULD HAVE KNOWN that somebody that treats people like that, EXPECTS TO BE TREATED LIKE THAT IN RETURN...
just one of many lessons learned the hard way...
anytime i advise somebody against doing something in japan/america, it's probably because i already did it and suffered the consequences

 

[Kat]

Originally posted by nzueda
In my little experience with J-men and talking with a J guy friend right now , I guess most are fine in private. It's PDA that they are generally uncomfortable with - it's not polite , really.

My husband was fine in New Zealand and in private he's really sweet, but still finds PDA difficult in Japan. It's a cultural thing and is no reflection on our relationship so I don't worry about it. We were at a convention recently though and he had his arm around me and after the session a lady came up to us with tears in her eyes saying what a cute couple we are. I guess we stood out!

Awww....well I think that's very sweet. ^^

And I guess if I had a Japanese guy and he showed me affection in private I'd be fine because I'd still be getting it. ^_^

 

[Elizabeth]

Originally posted by Kat
So I don't really know. I guess some Japanese would be distant and not really affectionate where as others might actually show affection. Especially if they're with someone who isn't Japanese. Then they might feel more obligated to be affectionate....but I guess it depends on the person.

My boyfriend is extremely physically affectionate in public if he intends on us going to a hotel, but not really much at all after that. Maybe that is the accepted pattern, I don't know. We're both a little shy about asking for sex, so I don't think it really has anything to do with me in particular, but somehow it does still seem a little confusing or uncomfortable.

 

[Hypertokyo5]

It's ok, Kat, I am attracted to Japanese men to, and I am a western foreignor. :l

 

[Troyka]

ok what I see here is this..It happens a lot in NY that Asian guys don't pay attention to their asian gf . It looks like these girls are just slaves of those guys...Anybody saw that beffore...I didi many times

 

[Gaki]

Originally posted by Troyka
ok what I see here is this..It happens a lot in NY that Asian guys don't pay attention to their asian gf . It looks like these girls are just slaves of those guys...Anybody saw that beffore...I didi many times

You saw one instance of their relationship and u think that's how they are treated all the time ?


(-_-; ) ~ ~ 3

 

[Carolgirl00]

<.< Yes, what Troyka stated sounded very steriotypical. Japanese men are not any less than white men. Everyone has opinions, but we must always remember that we are all the same inside. =\

 

[DarkLadyRei]

Well,
hahahaha ^^;;; *scratches head then sweatdrops* I guess it's also because of what Neptune said, I'm interested in Japanese guys, because I can talk about anime with them, and maybe I'm somewhat curious. But they are physically beautiful however, like they could be models or something. But one thing for sure, is I'd never just only want to date a Japanese guy. I'm totally not denying myself of all other cultures...All men are beautiful of every race, color. I mean, just because, I'm into Japanese guys right now, noticed them (watching anime and dramas) x_x; I don't think one of em would give an Indian girl like me the time of day....*sigh* I never seen it. Even though I'm not bad looking at all xD....Oh well, at least I can drool or dream Whoo hoooooooooooo!

 

[neptunemoon]

Maybe one day you might find a japanese guy darkladyrei. I just want to date at least one. See what it's like. I did date one asian guy he was cambodian. Very loving guy. I think I was the only non asian chick he dated. He eneded up emotionally messed up from his past relationships. I had liked this one chinese guy. Had really nice hair. He liked me too but somewhere it didnt go so good. He ended up hating me cuz I had a crush on him. I couldnt believe it cuz he was my friend too. I would have liked to have dated him oh well.

 

[DarkLadyRei]

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! ^^; Maybe who knows, but your post made me soooo happy Neptune. *sniffles* ;-; And I totally am all for public affection myself. But knowing me, I'd probably scare everyone away over there or earn jaw drops o________O;;;; But, I still hope the guy would stay. xD Sorry about your Chinese friend. Anyways, hopefully there's still hope for us in finding a our Japanese guy dream dates *-*

 

[hargaR1]

Very interesting, try being japanese on the outside and being brought up in australia, ( makes me white on the inside) niether race looks at you as you are,,, try explaining that you like white girls as that all you know your whole life? ( just like any forener would)
or how does a japanese looking guy go up to a japanese girl with broken japanese words like a white guy does and expect her to belive you don't speak good japanese, ( she thinks your acting so she will be interested in you )
oh well your thoughts will be interesting,
I myself love all races mainly as I grew up with so many differnt people,
how about you?
to find out more on me you can visit my new thread at:
Melbourne People & Introductions & Events

 

[SacredBlue]

Just about all Japanese guys I know would jump through hoops to have a foreigner girlfriend. Probably for the same reason some Japanese girls will do the same to date foreign guys. However the difference is, that the average Japanese man is much more shy then your average Japanese woman, so I guess one would have to be assertive.
From what friends (girls dating Japanese guys) say it seems they're having a good time. Very loyal and kind but shy when it comes to affection, etc.

I wouldn't worry about skin color. Alot more Japanese guys might be attracted to white skin, but I couldn't really see a Japanese guy saying no to dating a cute indian girl, I'm sure a fair amount of non-Japanese wouldn't say no to that either

ganbatte ne

 

[DarkLadyRei]

Awwwwwww you're so sweet Sacred! (oookay gettin a bit mushy there) That gives me a tiny sparkle of hope ^-^; hehe But otherwise, your post made me smile.

 

[kirei_na_me]

As a matter of fact, there's an Indian woman in my group for foreign women married to Japanese men. She and her husband make a beautiful couple. Last time I heard, they were expecting their first baby. There are women from a lot of different cultures married to Japanese men.

 

[DarkLadyRei]

Wow! That's so awesome to hear Kirei_me. Hearing that, gives me an even bigger hope than ever before. ^_______^ Thankyou so much for that beautiful post! That's a first for me so it really opened up my eyes and mind.

 

[MikeM]

Heh... I got a Japanese penpal who I have been talking to for the past few months. She is really nice and she is helping me with learning Japanese.

Eh... yeah, I like Japanese girls but I like Western woman as well... I like all woman. I have only dated caucasian girls so far but I am starting to really like this Japanese girl... but yeah, she is not fluent in English so that gets in the way I guess. We'll see what happens.

She is very shy so in my experience, Japanese girls tend to be shy but thats only one person and I will not judge!

I'm Italian so I have tan skin lol... lets see how this turns out!

 

[DarkLadyRei]

Awwwwww go for it Mike! ^^ Whooo hooooo!
So? Alot of people find tans sexy. (Not that I'm trying to pick ya up or anything) lol Some Japanese guys, have tans I think o_______O Like Gen from the drama, My blue sky....
But it shouldn't matter, love has no color ^.^v *Hmmmm where did I get that?* ?_?

 

[MikeM]

Originally posted by DarkLadyRei
Awwwwww go for it Mike! ^^ Whooo hooooo!
So? Alot of people find tans sexy. (Not that I'm trying to pick ya up or anything) lol Some Japanese guys, have tans I think o_______O Like Gen from the drama, My blue sky....
But it shouldn't matter, love has no color ^.^v *Hmmmm where did I get that?* ?_?

Heh. thanks. I'm going for it... we'll see what happens.