Question for the Japanese people of the board/日本人への質問

[Elizabeth]

Originally posted by kirei_na_me
If I could compare the two, though, I would say that I think Chinese are easier to get to know and more personable. It's sometimes harder to break down the wall with Japanese people--if at all.

I just don't know, not being in that situation, it may just be something you have to lay off and not press them on at all (to open up). Which could allow whatever they have built up inside to eventually burst forth, or at least seep out very gradually.

 

[kirei_na_me]

Originally posted by Elizabeth
I just don't know, not being in that situation, it may just be something you have to lay off and not press them on at all (to open up). Which could allow whatever they have built up inside to eventually burst forth, or at least seep out very gradually.

Well, yeah. Sometimes that's the case, but I believe that in general, they are just not extremely open by nature. It does depend on the individual, though. I have a couple of Japanese friends who can be very candid about everything, but most of the ones I know stay pretty superficial. It's not that I press, because I learned a long time ago that wouldn't get me anywhere.

 

[Elizabeth]

Originally posted by kirei_na_me
Well, yeah. Sometimes that's the case, but I believe that in general, they are just not extremely open by nature. It does depend on the individual, though. I have a couple of Japanese friends who can be very candid about everything, but most of the ones I know stay pretty superficial. It's not that I press, because I learned a long time ago that wouldn't get me anywhere.

I didn't mean not press directly on the source of their reticence or esp defensiveness/anger, just try as much as possible to go along with their way of thinking/doing things and don't get into arguments at all cost

 

[kirei_na_me]

Originally posted by Elizabeth
I didn't mean not press directly on the source of their reticence or esp defensiveness/anger, just try as much as possible to go along with their way of thinking/doing things and don't get into arguments at all cost

Yeah, I see what you mean. It's just difficult. I kind of get tired of having to do everything their way, when some of them don't even make an effort to meet in the middle to compromise. Everyone is just supposed to assume their way of doing things. Oh well...I'm not agonizing over it, it's just irritating sometimes.

Anyway, I'm getting off topic, I guess! Sorry about that! :sorry:

Kat, have you heard anything yet?

 

[Elizabeth]

Originally posted by kirei_na_me
Yeah, I see what you mean. It's just difficult. I kind of get tired of having to do everything their way, when some of them don't even make an effort to meet in the middle to compromise. Everyone is just supposed to assume their way of doing things. Oh well...I'm not agonizing over it, it's just irritating sometimes.

Although at least they aren't very happy most of the time, either, right?

 

[Kat]

Originally posted by Gaki
Why do people decide they will exclusively only date Japanese ?

I'm not specifically targetting the thread starter, in general you get alot of people who say "I will only date Japanese male/female because <insert their own race> women/men are rubbish" and i've never really understood why ?

The only reason i could only think of was that these kind of people are overly obsessed Japanophiles / d0rks or whatever word best describes them.

Before someone retaliates with an argument, i'm not trying to start an argument or make a racist comment, i'm only asking a question.

I haven't decided to exclusively date Japanese.

Infact until recently I never even 'noticed' asian men at all. I was only attracted to other white people. Who knows why but that's how it was. And I still like white men but recently I started noticing asian guys and so lately I've become very interested in them.

I'm a bit offended that anyone would think I only like Japanese men. :/ Because it isn't true and I haven't shut all other guys out. Just lately I've been very interested and curious about Japanese men and some other asian men too. Is there anything wrong with that?

Anyway, I did get a reply from one of the Japanese guys I had sent a message to.

By the way, would anyone find it weird if a Japanese person said they only wanted to date other Japanese or if a white person said they only wanted to date other white people?
I doubt anyone would find it weird. So I don't know why people bash other things like a white person only wanting to date Japanese. That's not how I am but I can still respect people who'd only want to date Japanese.

It makes me mad that people are always judging other people all the time about stuff like this. Who cares what other people like? It's their decision and it's their problem.

Sorry if I seem really defensive but I do get offended by these things.

 

[Gaki]

Originally posted by Kat
I haven't decided to exclusively date Japanese.

Infact until recently I never even 'noticed' asian men at all. I was only attracted to other white people. Who knows why but that's how it was. And I still like white men but recently I started noticing asian guys and so lately I've become very interested in them.

I'm a bit offended that anyone would think I only like Japanese men. :/ Because it isn't true and I haven't shut all other guys out. Just lately I've been very interested and curious about Japanese men and some other asian men too. Is there anything wrong with that?

Anyway, I did get a reply from one of the Japanese guys I had sent a message to.

By the way, would anyone find it weird if a Japanese person said they only wanted to date other Japanese or if a white person said they only wanted to date other white people?
I doubt anyone would find it weird. So I don't know why people bash other things like a white person only wanting to date Japanese. That's not how I am but I can still respect people who'd only want to date Japanese.

It makes me mad that people are always judging other people all the time about stuff like this. Who cares what other people like? It's their decision and it's their problem.

Sorry if I seem really defensive but I do get offended by these things.

Who said i was bashing anyone ?
I was merely asking a general question which is partially related to this topic...

 

[budd]

hmmm... but really, always seeming to say a certain something
it's underlying
well, anyway, i am tired of american women in general
i try to avoid other women who seem too americanized also
i'm probably missing out on something too because of that, but so far i only seem to be missing out on the stress
just really tired of wasting my time -- i don't believe in being in a relationship just to break up
edit: "By the way, would anyone find it weird if a Japanese person said they only wanted to date other Japanese"
actually, i did
but it's kind of convoluted -- ergo, my americanized women comment, in a roundabout way

 

[Elizabeth]

Originally posted by Kat
I haven't decided to exclusively date Japanese.
By the way, would anyone find it weird if a Japanese person said they only wanted to date other Japanese or if a white person said they only wanted to date other white people?
I doubt anyone would find it weird.

Not weird, just racist. It happens that way most of the time of course because their majority culture is where most people tend to live most of the time and can feel most comfortable without thinking of their partner as primarily a physical attraction.

 

[kyotomanabu]

Hello, I'm a Japanese guy from Kyoto .

First of all, I didn't know there is a Western woman who
is "physically attracted" to Japanese men like Kat-san,
because I know that J-men have never been popular among the
western women and can't even think of drawing their attention.

Anyway, as for the question, there are so many J-men attracted
to Western women. Perhaps I should say "beautiful Caucasian
women", to be more specific.

For those men, shapely-figured(and busty) beautiful blondes are
always a great heartthrob. Their dream is dating with such American
or French beauty (and showing off that to their Japanese friends).

Same can be said for J-women. So many women are wishing they could
find a cool Western boyfriend like David Beckham or Keanu Reeves.

Behind that incredible popularity lies our deep-rooted inferiority
complex toward Westerners, I believe.

We love and adore just about anything American or European.
Fashion, cars, food, music, movies,language, religion etc...

We have been so obsessed with them. For the Japanese,
"Western" means "superior". This is not an exaggeration.

Thus there is no wonder Western women are so favored by J-men.
Western girlfriend/boyfriend represents some kind of status symbol,
which gives you a great sense of pride, happiness and self-satisfaction.

It's much like driving Porsche or wearing Versace. It makes them
feel very special, as if they have moved up social ladder.

I know it's a very strange perspective unique to the Japanese,
but it will never dwindle, no matter how silly it sounds.

By the way, Yusaku Matsuda was half-blooded with Korean.

 

[Gaki]

Originally posted by budd
hmmm... but really, always seeming to say a certain something
it's underlying

Because i'm telling the truth ?

There are alot of "foreign" people overly obessesed with Japan and think Japan is like the best country in the world even in comparison to their own, but usually those people are a bit uncultured (?) / uneducated (?) or just plain stupid/d0rk or maybe otaku is the most fitting word.

I am very proud of my country and i dont understand how other people can disrespect their own country and people like that...

I could just easily go around making racist comments but whats the point...

 

[Kat]

Originally posted by Gaki
Because i'm telling the truth ?

There are alot of "foreign" people overly obessesed with Japan and think Japan is like the best country in the world even in comparison to their own, but usually those people are a bit uncultured (?) / uneducated (?) or just plain stupid/d0rk or maybe otaku is the most fitting word.

I am very proud of my country and i dont understand how other people can disrespect their own country and people like that...

I could just easily go around making racist comments but whats the point...

Well, I do kind of know what you mean. It is annoying when you always see people going "Japan this Japan that" and I remember a board I use to go to and a question was asked "What country in the world do you most want to go to?" and almost everyone was like "Japan Japan Japan." I actually said England though.

Only within the last year have I become really interested in Japan but I don't think the people in my own country are rubbish and I like Canada very much. I got homesick this summer when I went over to New Zealand and Australia(though I did enjoy my time in those countries very much).

I wouldn't say that I'm one of those people who's obsessed with Japan. It's not the only place I want to visit in my life and it's not all I care about or ever talk about. Perhaps on here it might at times seem that way though since this is a Japan board so of course what I talk about the most here will be stuff about Japan.

And I don't think Japanese men are necissarily better than other men. Here in Toronto there is a huge cultural diversity so I've seen guys that come from all kinds of different backgrounds!

I have simply lately been a bit more physically attracted to Japanese men and other asian men and would like to 'try' a relationship with one.

I hope you can understand.

I don't hate the guys from my own culture or anything like that. That isn't why I'm attracted to Japanese men.

 

[Kat]

Originally posted by kyotomanabu
Hello, I'm a Japanese guy from Kyoto.

First of all, I didn't know there is a Western woman who
is "physically attracted" to Japanese men like Kat-san,
because I know that J-men have never been popular among the
western women and can't even think of drawing their attention.

Anyway, as for the question, there are so many J-men attracted
to Western women. Perhaps I should say "beautiful Caucasian
women", to be more specific.

For those men, shapely-figured(and busty) beautiful blondes are
always a great heartthrob. Their dream is dating with such American
or French beauty (and showing off that to their Japanese friends).

Same can be said for J-women. So many women are wishing they could
find a cool Western boyfriend like David Beckham or Keanu Reeves.

Behind that incredible popularity lies our deep-rooted inferiority
complex toward Westerners, I believe.

We love and adore just about anything American or European.
Fashion, cars, food, music, movies,language, religion etc...

We have been so obsessed with them. For the Japanese,
"Western" means "superior". This is not an exaggeration.

Thus there is no wonder Western women are so favored by J-men.
Western girlfriend/boyfriend represents some kind of status symbol,
which gives you a great sense of pride, happiness and self-satisfaction.

It's much like driving Porsche or wearing Versace. It makes them
feel very special, as if they have moved up social ladder.

I know it's a very strange perspective unique to the Japanese,
but it will never dwindle, no matter how silly it sounds.

By the way, Yusaku Matsuda was half-blooded with Korean.

Hi. Thanks for posting.

And I understand what you mean. I do now recall some other Japanese guys saying similar things.

If I do end up with a Japanese guy though, I would hope that he wouldn't only like me because I'm white and a status symbol to him. I would hope that he'd actually like me just for who I am as a person.

 

[Swifty]

I to share the same views as kat

Simply because i live in toronto area
and i know how culturaly diverse it truely is

being a white person is the minority lol

but still

i've been with lots of white woman
and never a j-girl or a oriental girl in general

and i would like to meet a nice one ^_^
(my new pen pal seems nice enough )

everyone has there own views on things in other countries

so let them think what they want and dont critisize anyone views
cause the same thing can easily be said about yours

Peace all

 

[budd]

"Because i'm telling the truth?"
or more likely, just an opinion like everyone (inclluding me) here
"I could just easily go around making racist comments but whats the point..."
well, don't stop now on my account...

 

[SacredBlue]

Japan guide

The Japan guide site really is great for getting pen pals..I posted an ad (im an american guy) and the next day got around 7 emails, all from japanese females oddly enough..I ask them to help correct my japanese and I correct their english, it's really fun actually..

 

[kirei_na_me]

It just sounds kind of crazy to only want someone because they are of a certain race/nationality. Wouldn't you say that the KKK is stupid? Yes, you would. Wanting to stick with only one race or particular group of people and then shunning the other for some broad, generalized reason is racist, I believe. If not racist, then narrow-minded at least.

Last night, I asked my husband a question just because of this thread. We sat down at dinner, and I asked him seriously what did he like better about Western women. He said "nothing". He said it was impossible to generalize and crazy for anybody to pick someone just because they were American or Japanese or whatever. This was how the conversation went:

Rachel: "So, what is different between American women and Japanese women?"
Moto: "Nothing, really."
Moto: "Well, in my experience, Japanese women are more secretive about things."
Rachel: "Like what?"
Moto: "Like keeping secrets about what the kids have done. Like a problem at school. Or they are secretive about how much money they spend on stuff."
Rachel: "Is that all?"
Moto: "Americans are generally more emotional and get angry quick. Japanese can take stress better, but that's not necessarily a good thing, either."
Rachel: "Well, what about physically? What do you find more attractive about American women?"
Moto: "There are ugly Americans and there are beautiful Americans. It's the same with Japanese."
Moto: "I wanted you because you were special as an individual, not because you were part of a certain group."

That's all he said and that's how it ended, because the ones of you that really know Japanese people know they don't like to get into huge discussions about subjects such as this.

 

[Elizabeth]

I once asked my boyfriend to make a list of Hispanic stereotypes just off the top of his head and I was really surprised how close to the ones we have in the US. As far as I know, he doesn't have any acquantances in Japan and has just been to Cuba once several years ago. Sometimes he truly amazes me . Will have to ask about Western women next time I'm there next.

1. Low education levels
2. Physical strength/stamina
3. Cheerfulness/sunny attitude
4. Optimistic about the future
5. Catholic and go to church, but cannot read the Bible well
6. An unbelievably strong awareness of comrades/companions, parents, siblings
7. Passionate
8. Like spicy things
9. Like to drink and gamble
10. Lacking mental concentration or focus

ﾂ 窶啀ﾂ．窶ｹﾂｳﾋ?ｧﾆ椎槌遅ﾆ停?ｹ窶堙坂?凖｡窶堋｢ﾂ。
ﾂ 窶啣ﾂ．窶佚娯?氾坂?堙坂?堋?窶堙ｩﾂ。
ﾂ 窶啌ﾂ．窶配窶ｹCﾂ。
ﾂ 窶售ﾂ．ﾂ渉ｫ窶藩??堙俄?佚寂?堋ｵ窶堙??y窶弖窶廬ﾂ。
ﾂ 窶啜ﾂ．ﾆ谷ﾆ箪ﾆ椎?ﾆ鍛ﾆ誰窶堙ｰﾂ信窶｢ﾃｲ窶堋ｵ窶ｹﾂｳ窶ｰﾃｯ窶堙俄?堙坂?堙ｦ窶堋ｭ窶凖岩?堋､窶堋ｪﾂ青ｹﾂ鞘?倪?堙坂?愿??堙懌?堙遺?堋｢ﾂ、窶堙懌?堋ｽ窶堙最ｽﾅ｡窶堋ｪ窶愿??堙溪?堙遺?堋｢ﾂ。
ﾂ 窶啅ﾂ．窶吮?｡ﾅ?ﾃ藩?毒ｽﾂｯ窶堋ｪ窶ｹﾂｭ窶堋ｭﾂ、ﾂ親窶堙｢ﾅ短窶凖ｭﾅｽo窶凪?ｦﾂ、ﾂ身窶愿?窶堙ｰﾅｽv窶堋､窶ｹCﾅｽﾂ昶?堋ｿ窶堙債信窶堋ｶ窶堙ｧ窶堙ｪ窶堙遺?堋｢窶堙吮?堙??ｹﾂｭ窶堋｢ﾂ。
ﾂ 窶啖ﾂ．ﾂ湘ｮ窶扨窶廬ﾂ。
ﾂ 窶啗ﾂ．ﾂ辛窶堋｢窶堙?窶堙娯?堋ｪﾂ好窶堋ｫﾂ。
ﾂ 窶唸ﾂ．ﾅｽﾃｰ窶堙?樽ﾆ槌槌停?愴置ﾆ停?ｹ窶堋ｪﾂ好窶堋ｫﾂ。
ﾂ 10ﾂ．ﾂ集窶吮??窶氾坂?堋ｪﾅｽﾃ｣窶堋｢ﾂ。

 

[Kat]

Well I'm sorry if everyone thinks it's so racist to be attracted to Japanese people and want to date one.

Maybe I should forget about Japanese guys in that case. >_<

Because you guys are making me feel bad for liking them.

 

[Gaki]

Originally posted by budd
"Because i'm telling the truth?"
or more likely, just an opinion like everyone (inclluding me) here
"I could just easily go around making racist comments but whats the point..."
well, don't stop now on my account...

So you dont think it's true there are too many Japanophiles ? I've seen alot over the net, seen some in real life, and i think they are d0rks, my Japanese friends think they are d0rks.
Or maybe your offended because that applies to you... (-_-; )

And btw where in the Taiwan thread was i being racist ?
If i wanted to be racist i would have called them "stupid **** sucking Jap. wannabe dog of the white man", big difference between saying that and what i said in that thread.

Anyway nevermind it's not a big deal, dont really wanna clog up this thread with useless arguments.

 

[kirei_na_me]

Kat, no, I don't think you are racist. There are some people, though, that only want Japanese because they are Japanese and then say tremendously negative things about their own nationality or another nationality in order to justify their reasons for only liking Japanese. That's what I think is wrong.

You are just curious, is all. I was too. I met my husband and thought he was cute and smart and fun to be around at the time. He was also from a different culture and I thought that was intriguing and mysterious. I wanted to get to know him, and we became friends. It later developed into something more. I didn't go after him because I was some kind of otaku or something. I just liked him.

I will say that now that I know about Japanese men more, I am more attracted to Japanese men than I once was--which was not at all, because I didn't know much about them. I am not attracted to Japanese men more than I am attracted to, say, American men or European men, though. You know, we used to have a saying in school like, "once you go black, you can never go back", but that wasn't the case with me. I am attracted to who I'm attracted to. Before I was married, I dated a Latino guy, a couple of black guys, a French guy, and several "regular" American guys. I never targeted any particular race or nationality just because they were so. I can't say anything bad about American men in general, either. Just because I'm married to a Japanese guy, that doesn't mean American guys or any other guys turn me off now. Some people wouldn't be like that, though. Some men I've known that are married to Asian females have sworn off Americans or Westerners completely because of some irrational reason. That is what I can't understand.

Did I make any sense?

 

[Kat]

Originally posted by Gaki
So you dont think it's true there are too many Japanophiles ? I've seen alot over the net, seen some in real life, and i think they are d0rks, my Japanese friends think they are d0rks.
Or maybe your offended because that applies to you... (-_-; )

And btw where in the Taiwan thread was i being racist ?
If i wanted to be racist i would have called them "stupid **** sucking Jap. wannabe dog of the white man", big difference between saying that and what i said in that thread.

Anyway nevermind it's not a big deal, dont really wanna clog up this thread with useless arguments.

I just find it annoying that you seem to think that just because I like Japanese guys, I must be a Japanophile. -_-

That's just stupid and it really offends me.

I wish I had never made this stupid thread. I don't really even want to go to this board anymore because of this because I didn't expect my thread to be attacked and me to be accused of being a racist and a "Japanophile who only likes Japanese guys and must think guys of her own culture are trash".

I feel that I'm being attacked because this is my thread. -_-

 

[Kat]

Originally posted by kirei_na_me
Kat, no, I don't think you are racist. There are some people, though, that only want Japanese because they are Japanese and then say tremendously negative things about their own nationality or another nationality in order to justify their reasons for only liking Japanese. That's what I think is wrong.

You are just curious, is all. I was too. I met my husband and thought he was cute and smart and fun to be around at the time. He was also from a different culture and I thought that was intriguing and mysterious. I wanted to get to know him, and we became friends. It later developed into something more. I didn't go after him because I was some kind of otaku or something. I just liked him.

I will say that now that I know about Japanese men more, I am more attracted to Japanese men than I once was--which was not at all, because I didn't know much about them. I am not attracted to Japanese men more than I am attracted to, say, American men or European men, though. You know, we used to have a saying in school like, "once you go black, you can never go back", but that wasn't the case with me. I am attracted to who I'm attracted to. Before I was married, I dated a Latino guy, a couple of black guys, a French guy, and several "regular" American guys. I never targeted any particular race of nationality just because they were so. I can't say anything bad about American men in general, either. Just because I'm married to a Japanese guy, that doesn't mean American guys or any other guys turn me off now. Some people wouldn't be like that, though. Some men I've known that are married to Asian females have sworn off Americans or Westerners completely because of some irrational reason. That is what I can't understand.

Did I make any sense?

Yes, it made sense.

And I'll mention that my last boyfriend was a European guy. The only boyfriend I've ever had actually. Even though I'm 19....I've only had one relationship....and it was long distance...so I really don't know a lot about guys.

And I don't think all Japanese guys are attractive by the way. I wouldn't date just any Japanese guy who comes up to me. -_-;

I don't really like it how so many people must think I'm one of those otakus when they hardly even know who I am.

 

[Gaki]

Originally posted by Kat
I just find it annoying that you seem to think that just because I like Japanese guys, I must be a Japanophile. -_-

That's just stupid and it really offends me.

I wish I had never made this stupid thread. I don't really even want to go to this board anymore because of this because I didn't expect my thread to be attacked and me to be accused of being a racist and a "Japanophile who only likes Japanese guys and must think guys of her own culture are trash".

I feel that I'm being attacked because this is my thread. -_-

Why do you always think i am targetting you ?

I'm talking about Japanophiles in general, not you.. (-_-;; ) ~ ~ 3

 

[Kat]

Originally posted by Gaki
Why do you always think i am targetting you ?

I'm talking about Japanophiles in general, not you.. (-_-;; ) ~ ~ 3

It just seems that way since this topic is mine and it seems like you have something against the topic and what it discusses. :/