Eternal Wind
聖天使
- 30 Jan 2004
- 826
- 2
Funny!!
More! More!!
More! More!!
Offensive Joke, Beware
- Thread starter mad pierrot
- Start date
Golgo_13
先輩
- 27 Nov 2003
- 2,001
- 37
What happened at the lepers' hockey game?
There was a face off at the corner
What happened at the lepers' card game
A player threw in his hand
What did the leper say to his girfriend?
I love you to pieces.
Dr.: You are pregnant
Blonde: Are you sure it's mine?
Blonde: My boyfriend has really bad dandruff. What should I get for him?
Pharmacist: Here, give him Head & Shoulders
Blonde: Okay, but . . . how do you give shoulders??
"In LA there are all kinds of ethnic gangs. Black gangs, Hispanic gangs, asian gangs. But there's no gay gang is there? Of course not, when gay guys get together it's not a gang, it's a musical!" - Bobby Slayton
There was a face off at the corner
What happened at the lepers' card game
A player threw in his hand
What did the leper say to his girfriend?
I love you to pieces.
Dr.: You are pregnant
Blonde: Are you sure it's mine?
Blonde: My boyfriend has really bad dandruff. What should I get for him?
Pharmacist: Here, give him Head & Shoulders
Blonde: Okay, but . . . how do you give shoulders??
"In LA there are all kinds of ethnic gangs. Black gangs, Hispanic gangs, asian gangs. But there's no gay gang is there? Of course not, when gay guys get together it's not a gang, it's a musical!" - Bobby Slayton
Golgo_13
先輩
- 27 Nov 2003
- 2,001
- 37
A Redheaded mom walks into her daughter's room, finds a beer bottle and says, "I never knew my daughter drank!"
A Brunette walks into her daughter's room, finds a pack of cigarettes and says, "I never knew my daughter smoked!"
A Blond mom walks into her daughter's room and finds a condom.
She says, "I never knew my daughter had a penis!"
A Brunette walks into her daughter's room, finds a pack of cigarettes and says, "I never knew my daughter smoked!"
A Blond mom walks into her daughter's room and finds a condom.
She says, "I never knew my daughter had a penis!"
- 10 Dec 2003
- 1,075
- 10
Golgo_13 said:
Mon dieu!!!
I LOVE THAT ONE!!!! 
neptunemoon
Crazy Kitty Girl "Meow"
- 3 Nov 2003
- 1,098
- 3
lol funny I am 47% gay didnt even make 50 shame i say
silver angel
Resident Latina
- 26 Sep 2003
- 1,386
- 38
Originally Posted by Golgo_13
"In LA there are all kinds of ethnic gangs. Black gangs, Hispanic gangs, asian gangs. But there's no gay gang is there? Of course not, when gay guys get together it's not a gang, it's a musical!" - Bobby Slayton
A classic, right there!
"In LA there are all kinds of ethnic gangs. Black gangs, Hispanic gangs, asian gangs. But there's no gay gang is there? Of course not, when gay guys get together it's not a gang, it's a musical!" - Bobby Slayton
A classic, right there!
Bluebird
先輩
- 28 Nov 2003
- 41
- 0
From a note I got a few months ago that I found recently again on my desk.
It's in Spanish but I'll translate it below.
George W. Bush y Tony Blair estﾃ｡n en una cena en la Casa Blanca. Aznar se acerca a ellos y les pregunta:
"Quﾃｩ estﾃ｡n hablando de forma tan animada?"
"Estamos haciendo planes para la tercera Guerra Mundial", dice Bush.
"Guau!", dice el invitado. "Y quﾃ｡les son esos planes?"
"Vamos a matar a 14 millones de muslimanes y 1 dentista", contesta Bush.
Aznar parace cunfundido.
"Un... dentista?", dice. "Por quﾃｩ van a matar a un dentista?"
Blair le da una palmada en la espalda a Bush y dice:
"Quﾃｩ te dije? Nadie va a preguntar por los muslimanes"
---
George W. Bush and Tony Blair is at a dinner at the White House. Aznar walks up to them and asks:
"What are you guys talking about?"
"We're making plans for the 3rd World War", says Bush.
"Wow!", says the invited (Aznar). "And what are those planes?"
"We're going to kill 14 millions of muslims and 1 dentist", Bush answers.
Aznar seems confused.
"A... dentist?" he says. "Why are you going to kill a dentist?"
Blair puts a hand on Bush's shoulder and says:
"What did I tell you? No one's going to ask about the muslims"
It's in Spanish but I'll translate it below.
George W. Bush y Tony Blair estﾃ｡n en una cena en la Casa Blanca. Aznar se acerca a ellos y les pregunta:
"Quﾃｩ estﾃ｡n hablando de forma tan animada?"
"Estamos haciendo planes para la tercera Guerra Mundial", dice Bush.
"Guau!", dice el invitado. "Y quﾃ｡les son esos planes?"
"Vamos a matar a 14 millones de muslimanes y 1 dentista", contesta Bush.
Aznar parace cunfundido.
"Un... dentista?", dice. "Por quﾃｩ van a matar a un dentista?"
Blair le da una palmada en la espalda a Bush y dice:
"Quﾃｩ te dije? Nadie va a preguntar por los muslimanes"
---
George W. Bush and Tony Blair is at a dinner at the White House. Aznar walks up to them and asks:
"What are you guys talking about?"
"We're making plans for the 3rd World War", says Bush.
"Wow!", says the invited (Aznar). "And what are those planes?"
"We're going to kill 14 millions of muslims and 1 dentist", Bush answers.
Aznar seems confused.
"A... dentist?" he says. "Why are you going to kill a dentist?"
Blair puts a hand on Bush's shoulder and says:
"What did I tell you? No one's going to ask about the muslims"
EscaFlowne
後輩
- 14 Nov 2003
- 2,757
- 38
Golgo_13 said:
lord.....allll this was funnny stuff!
Golgo_13
先輩
- 27 Nov 2003
- 2,001
- 37
A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially
buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde
genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy
makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.
The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion, surrounded by
50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the
house.
Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the floor
is covered in $100 bills. Then, there is a knock at the door. He answers the
door and standing there are two persons dressed in Klu Klux Klan outfits.
They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang
him by the neck until he is dead.
The Klansmen walk off. As they are walking away, they remove their hoods;
it's the two blonde genies. One blonde genie says to the other one, "Hey, I
can understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big
mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a
millionaire. But to be hung like a black man is beyond me."
buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde
genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy
makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.
The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion, surrounded by
50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the
house.
Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the floor
is covered in $100 bills. Then, there is a knock at the door. He answers the
door and standing there are two persons dressed in Klu Klux Klan outfits.
They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang
him by the neck until he is dead.
The Klansmen walk off. As they are walking away, they remove their hoods;
it's the two blonde genies. One blonde genie says to the other one, "Hey, I
can understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big
mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a
millionaire. But to be hung like a black man is beyond me."
Golgo_13
先輩
- 27 Nov 2003
- 2,001
- 37
A sign recently observed at a business establishment in Philadelphia, PA:
"WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 ARAB TERRORISTS THAN WITH A SINGLE JEW" This sign was prominently displayed in the front window of a business in Philadelphia. Most folks would be outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement. One would expect anti-hate groups from all across the country to march on this business, and that the National Guard might have to be called to keep the angry crowds back. But, perhaps in these stressful times, one might be tempted to let the proprietors simply make their statement. We are, after all, a society who holds Freedom
of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty, and besides, it is just a sign. You must be asking, what kind of business would dare post such a sign?
Simple. Goldberg's Funeral Home
"WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 ARAB TERRORISTS THAN WITH A SINGLE JEW" This sign was prominently displayed in the front window of a business in Philadelphia. Most folks would be outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement. One would expect anti-hate groups from all across the country to march on this business, and that the National Guard might have to be called to keep the angry crowds back. But, perhaps in these stressful times, one might be tempted to let the proprietors simply make their statement. We are, after all, a society who holds Freedom
of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty, and besides, it is just a sign. You must be asking, what kind of business would dare post such a sign?
Simple. Goldberg's Funeral Home
Golgo_13
先輩
- 27 Nov 2003
- 2,001
- 37
This guy goes out on his boat and while out he sinks and gets stranded on this island.
After about a year on the island he starts to get really horny and the only animal he can find is a sheep. He tries to have sex with the sheep, but it kicks the crap out of him and he just can't hold on.
A few months later another boat sinks but this time there is a hot girl and he swims out and saves her.
The girl is so happy that he saved her that she tells him she will do anything for him.
He starts to get really excited and asks her.
Can you come hold this sheep for me?
After about a year on the island he starts to get really horny and the only animal he can find is a sheep. He tries to have sex with the sheep, but it kicks the crap out of him and he just can't hold on.
A few months later another boat sinks but this time there is a hot girl and he swims out and saves her.
The girl is so happy that he saved her that she tells him she will do anything for him.
He starts to get really excited and asks her.
Can you come hold this sheep for me?
Golgo_13
先輩
- 27 Nov 2003
- 2,001
- 37
Is God black or white?
A confused nine year old boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?" After thinking a moment, his mother responds, Well, God is both male and female."
This confuses the little boy so he asks, "Is God black or white?" "Well, God is both black and white."
This further confuses the boy so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?" At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers anyway, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."
At this, the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, "Is God Michael Jackson?"
A confused nine year old boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?" After thinking a moment, his mother responds, Well, God is both male and female."
This confuses the little boy so he asks, "Is God black or white?" "Well, God is both black and white."
This further confuses the boy so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?" At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers anyway, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."
At this, the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, "Is God Michael Jackson?"
Golgo_13
先輩
- 27 Nov 2003
- 2,001
- 37
Jewish Mother Jokes
Jewish Mother Jokes:
The Jewish mother talking doll.
You pull the string and she says, "Again with the string?
Mona Lisa's Jewish Mother:
"After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"
Columbus' Jewish Mother:
"I don't care what you've discovered, you still could have written!"
Michelangelo's Jewish Mother:
"Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"
Napoleon's Jewish Mother:
"All right, if you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me."
Abraham Lincoln's Jewish Mother:
"Again with the hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
George Washington's Jewish Mother:
"The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"
Thomas Edison's Jewish Mother:
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!"
Paul Revere's Jewish Mother:
"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew."
O.J. Simpson's Jewish Mother:
"You're not guilty. I'm guilty."
Bill Clinton's Jewish Mother:
"I did NOT have a parent-child relationship with that man."
Saddam Hussein's Jewish Mother:
"You're expecting some guests soon? Should I call a housekeeper?"
Yasser Arafat's Jewish Mother:
"Why can't you get along with the other kids in the neighborhood? They're Jewish!"
Hannibal Lecter's Jewish mother:
"Are you full already? Have a little more. Yeah, you can. Force yourself."
Florence Nightingale's Jewish Mother:
"Honey, have you met any nice doctors yet?"
And, of course, these two, who really did have Jewish mothers
Albert Einstein's Jewish Mother:
"But it's your senior picture. Couldn't you do something about your hair?"
Moses' Jewish Mother:
"That's a nice story. Now tell me where you've really been for the last forty years.
And finally, Michael Jackson's Jewish Mother:
"First you want to look like a shiksa. Now you want to bring one home just to make a baby?"
Jewish Mother Jokes:
The Jewish mother talking doll.
You pull the string and she says, "Again with the string?
Mona Lisa's Jewish Mother:
"After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"
Columbus' Jewish Mother:
"I don't care what you've discovered, you still could have written!"
Michelangelo's Jewish Mother:
"Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"
Napoleon's Jewish Mother:
"All right, if you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me."
Abraham Lincoln's Jewish Mother:
"Again with the hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
George Washington's Jewish Mother:
"The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"
Thomas Edison's Jewish Mother:
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!"
Paul Revere's Jewish Mother:
"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew."
O.J. Simpson's Jewish Mother:
"You're not guilty. I'm guilty."
Bill Clinton's Jewish Mother:
"I did NOT have a parent-child relationship with that man."
Saddam Hussein's Jewish Mother:
"You're expecting some guests soon? Should I call a housekeeper?"
Yasser Arafat's Jewish Mother:
"Why can't you get along with the other kids in the neighborhood? They're Jewish!"
Hannibal Lecter's Jewish mother:
"Are you full already? Have a little more. Yeah, you can. Force yourself."
Florence Nightingale's Jewish Mother:
"Honey, have you met any nice doctors yet?"
And, of course, these two, who really did have Jewish mothers
Albert Einstein's Jewish Mother:
"But it's your senior picture. Couldn't you do something about your hair?"
Moses' Jewish Mother:
"That's a nice story. Now tell me where you've really been for the last forty years.
And finally, Michael Jackson's Jewish Mother:
"First you want to look like a shiksa. Now you want to bring one home just to make a baby?"
Golgo_13
先輩
- 27 Nov 2003
- 2,001
- 37
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this............
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this............
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
Golgo_13
先輩
- 27 Nov 2003
- 2,001
- 37
Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai . After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish samurai. "Demonstrate your skills!" commanded the Emperor. The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his katana and swish, the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two. "What a feat!" said the Emperor. "Samurai Number Two, show me what you do." The Chinese samurai
bowed, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his katana and swish, swish, the fly fell to the floor neatly quartered. "That is skill!" nodded the Emperor. "How are you going to top that, Samurai Number Three?" The Jewish samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box, releasing one fly, drew his katana and swoooooosh, flourished his katana so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around! In disappointment, the Emperor said, "What kind of skill is that? The fly isn't even dead." "Dead, schmead," replied the
Jewish samurai. "Dead is easy. Circumcision . . . that takes skill!"
bowed, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his katana and swish, swish, the fly fell to the floor neatly quartered. "That is skill!" nodded the Emperor. "How are you going to top that, Samurai Number Three?" The Jewish samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box, releasing one fly, drew his katana and swoooooosh, flourished his katana so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around! In disappointment, the Emperor said, "What kind of skill is that? The fly isn't even dead." "Dead, schmead," replied the
Jewish samurai. "Dead is easy. Circumcision . . . that takes skill!"
Golgo_13
先輩
- 27 Nov 2003
- 2,001
- 37
At the Greater Cincinnati Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator. Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
Golgo_13
先輩
- 27 Nov 2003
- 2,001
- 37
A French teacher was explaining to her class that in French, Unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
"House" is feminine-"la maison." "Pencil" is masculine-"le crayon." A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the
class into two groups -- male and female - and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later review; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your salary on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer") because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won ...
"House" is feminine-"la maison." "Pencil" is masculine-"le crayon." A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the
class into two groups -- male and female - and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later review; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your salary on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer") because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won ...
Golgo_13
先輩
- 27 Nov 2003
- 2,001
- 37
How Golf Is Like Urinating In A Restroom
1. Keep your back straight, knees bent, and feet shoulder-width apart.
2. Form a loose grip.
3. Keep your head down.
4. Avoid a quick backswing.
5. Stay out of the water.
6. Try not to hit anybody.
7. If you are taking too long, you should let others go ahead of you.
8. You shouldn't stand directly in front of others.
9. Be quiet while others are about to go.
10. Keep strokes to a minimum.
1. Keep your back straight, knees bent, and feet shoulder-width apart.
2. Form a loose grip.
3. Keep your head down.
4. Avoid a quick backswing.
5. Stay out of the water.
6. Try not to hit anybody.
7. If you are taking too long, you should let others go ahead of you.
8. You shouldn't stand directly in front of others.
9. Be quiet while others are about to go.
10. Keep strokes to a minimum.
Golgo_13
先輩
- 27 Nov 2003
- 2,001
- 37
A housewife walked into her kitchen and saw her husband with a fly swatter in his hand. She asked, "Honey, what are you doing?" He responded, "Oh, just swatting flies." She asked. "Killing any?" He responded, "Yes, I got 3 males and 2 females!" "Good", she said, and turned to walk away.
But then a puzzling thought overcame her and she turned back towards her husband and asked, "Honey, how could you tell the sex of the flies?" He responded, "Well, 3 were on the beer can and 2 were on the phone."
But then a puzzling thought overcame her and she turned back towards her husband and asked, "Honey, how could you tell the sex of the flies?" He responded, "Well, 3 were on the beer can and 2 were on the phone."
Golgo_13
先輩
- 27 Nov 2003
- 2,001
- 37
A young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"
"No," she says, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."
----------------------------------------
POLISH SAUSAGE
A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I'd like some Polish sausage."
The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?"
The guy, clearly offended, says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would ya, huh? Would ya?"
The clerk says, "Well, no."
With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, "Well, all right then why did you ask me if I'm Polish just because I ask for Polish sausage?"
The clerk replies, "Because this is Home Depot."
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"
"No," she says, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."
----------------------------------------
POLISH SAUSAGE
A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I'd like some Polish sausage."
The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?"
The guy, clearly offended, says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would ya, huh? Would ya?"
The clerk says, "Well, no."
With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, "Well, all right then why did you ask me if I'm Polish just because I ask for Polish sausage?"
The clerk replies, "Because this is Home Depot."
Golgo_13
先輩
- 27 Nov 2003
- 2,001
- 37
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.
The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As all men will.) Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00, on one condition." (There are always conditions.)
Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." (Controlling, huh?)
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and
slowly and meaningfully said,..."Clean my house."
The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As all men will.) Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00, on one condition." (There are always conditions.)
Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." (Controlling, huh?)
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and
slowly and meaningfully said,..."Clean my house."
neptunemoon
Crazy Kitty Girl "Meow"
- 3 Nov 2003
- 1,098
- 3
LMAO not enough more more more. You should get paid for this
Golgo_13
先輩
- 27 Nov 2003
- 2,001
- 37
neptunemoon said:
Glad to oblige (the last one is a Puerto Rican joke):
Why can't Mexico beat us in the Olympics?
Everyone that can run jump or swim is already here.
There are two kinds of people in the South -- good ole boys and rednecks.
The difference is good old boys may raise livestock, rednecks get emotionally attached.
How do you fool a Mexican?
Knock on the trunk and say, "We're here Jose."
What did the Jewish pedophile ask the little girl?
"Hey, little girl, you want to buy some candy?"
Why are blacks fast runners?
Because all the slow ones are in jail.
What does a teenage girl from West Virginia say during sex?
"Careful dad, you're crushing my cigarettes!"
How did Japan start a war against African-Americans?
They bombed Pearl Baily.
Why did the Six-Day War last only six days?
Because Israel's weapons were rented by the week.
How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call Daaaaddy.
Why do Italians hate Jehovah's Witnesses?
They hate any kind of witnesses
What did the Polish guy do when his odometer read 99999?
He pulled over to the side of the road to watch it turn over to 100,000
Why don't Puerto Ricans have checking accounts?
Because it's too hard to sign checks with a spray can.
