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Offensive Joke, Beware

mad pierrot

I jump to conclusions
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On a tropical island :
On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:

Two Italian men and one Italian woman
Two French men and one French woman
Two German men and one German woman
Two Greek men and one Greek woman
Two English men and one English woman
Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman
Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman
Two American men and one American woman
Two Australian men and one Australian woman
Two New Zealand men and one New Zealand woman
Two Irish men and one Irish woman


One month later the following things have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together having loads of sex.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.

The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

The two Bulgarian men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Bulgarian woman and they started swimming.

The two American men are talking about football, while the American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend
respected her opinion and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is improving - but hey, at least the taxes are low and it's not raining.

The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting further instructions.

The two Australian men beat each into a bloody mess for the Australian woman, who is checking out all the other men after calling them both wankers'.

Both the New Zealand men are searching the island for sheep.

The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and by setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few bottles of coconut whisky, but at least the English are not getting any.
 

Maciamo

Twirling dragon
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A classic. But what do you find so offensive in this ? It's so stereotypically true ! :D
 

Hachiko

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American men not just talk about football, but also about other sports: hockey, basketball, baseball, auto racing, wrestling. As well as other topics. I suppose most of these guys on this island belong to one fraternity or another, while some of the wome would be fit for sororities...
 

Golgo_13

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What did one gay frog say to another? (no, not "let's get married")


We DO taste like chicken!
 

Hachiko

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silver angel said:
I love it. ^_^ Although, where are the Canadians? :D

One of the guys left the island to smoke marijuana on a boat back to Hong Kong, while the other guy started a family with the woman, the family taking a boat to Vancouver. :)
 

mad pierrot

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Any one got any other good "ethnic" jokes? I happen to be half Polish so I've heard quite a few.

:p
 

jeisan

Kongming
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lol well since you asked...
The worst airline disaster in Poland's history occurred today
when a two-seater Cessna crashed into a cemetery early this
afternoon.

Rescue workers have so far uncovered 826 bodies and expect to
find more as the digging continues.
:p
 

neptunemoon

Crazy Kitty Girl "Meow"
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LMAO nice ethnic jokes. True the french are awesome. Maybe it is something in the wine. Golgo I'm sorry maybe i am slow but I dont get the frog joke.
 

kirei_na_me

Where I'm Supposed to Be
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Golgo_13 said:
What did one gay frog say to another? (no, not "let's get married")


We DO taste like chicken!

I always heard it like, "What did the lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?"...because...well, you know...it's a little more specific/obvious. You know, certain terms are used for, you know...*ahem* Okay, I stop there.
 

neptunemoon

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Oh i get it now. I feel really slow considering I naturally have that dirty mind. I guess I have my pure moments.
 

Golgo_13

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:D :D :D :D :D

More ethnic jokes? It's equal opportunity here, every group gets it so no one can complain "discrimination!"

WHat does a Polish lesbian like?
Men

What do you call an Eskimo lesbian?
A Klondike

How do you tell an Air France airplane?
By the hair under the wings

What does a Japanese mugger say?
"Give me all your money or I'll kill myself!"

WHat's the bad thing about a Chinese hooker?
An hour later you're horny again.

What do you call the Mexican phone company?
Taco Bell.

What did the Puerto Rican fireman name his two sons?
Jose and Hose B

Why do blacks hate buying aspirin?
WHen they open the bottle they have to pick out the cotton

Where do rednecks go to meet women?
family reunions

How much money does an Irishman spend on liquor?
A staggering amount

What do you call someone who is half Jewish and half Mexican?
A janitor who thinks he owns the building

What do you call an abortion in the Czech Republic?
A cancelled Czech

What do you call half-price sales in India?
Red dot sales

Why do Jewish men circumcize?
Because Jewish women love anything at 10% off.

How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, as long as he's drunk enough to make the room spin around

What did the American Indian couple say when they went into a restaurant?
"We have a reservation!"

WHat's the difference between a Jewish Princess and an Italian PRincess?
With the Italian, the Jewelry is fake but the orgasms are real.

Why was the Greek guy so unhappy when he came to America?
Because he left his brothers' behind

How does an Ethiopian fall out of a window?
like a leaf

How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?
When you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink," and the
person at the front desk says, "Go ahead."

A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that when a couple gets
divorced, they're still brother and sister.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.

Why was the Jewish woman rejected for jury duty?
SHe said she was guilty

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

A WASP couple during sex:
husband: Are you all right?
wife: Yes, why?
husband: You moved

and last but not least,

Why did so many black soldiers die in Vietnam?

When the seargent yelled out "Get down!", they all started dancing!
 

lineartube

free spirit
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For the ladies, some lesbian jokes:

Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Four. One to change it, two to organize the potluck and one to write a folk song about the empowering experience.

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman yells out the window, "PIG!"
The man immediately leans out his window and replies, "*****!"
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road......

Q: What is the height of confusion?
A: 20 blind lesbians in a fish market.

Q: What do you call a bunch of lesbians in the closet?
A: A "licker" cabinet.

Q.What do you call a lesbian with big hands?
A. Well hung

Q: What do you call 2 butches bonding?
A: Hockey Night in Canada

Q: Why do lesbians like to have gay male friends?
A: Someone has to do the cooking!

Q: Why do gay men like to have lesbian friends?
A: Someone has to mow the yard.

Q: What's the lesbian mating call?
A: "I'm *so* drunk!"

Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Both of them.

and finally a quote:

"Introductions are tricky in a lesbian relationship. It's a word game. To my friends she's my lover, to strangers and family members in denial she's my roommate, to Jehovah's Witnesses at the door she's my lesbian sex slave, and to my mother she's Jewish and that's all that matters." - Denise McCanles


I guess I offended enough people for today, and raised this topic to "R" rated.
 

Golgo_13

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What's another way of saying "lesbian"?

"Women who wear comfortable shoes"




:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
 

neptunemoon

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I find these hilarious. There are so many of these kind of jokes. More! More! lol
 

Golgo_13

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Learn Chinese:

Are you harboring a fugitive?
Hu Yu Hai Ding?

See me ASAP.
Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man
Dum Gai

Small Horse
Tai Ni Po Ni

Did you go to the beach?
Wai Yu So Tan?

I bumped into a coffee table.
Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a face lift.
Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here.
Wai So Dim?

I thought you were on a diet.
Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone.
No Pah King

You are not very bright.
Yu So Dum

I got this for free.
Ai No Pei

Please stay a while longer.
Wai Go Nao?

Stay out of sight.
Lei Lo

He's cleaning his automobile.
Wa Shing Ka

Your body odor is offensive.
Yu Stin Ki Pu
 

Golgo_13

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What did the Jewish woman say when a begger went up to her and asked "Hey lady, can you spare some change? I haven't eaten in 2 days."

"So, force yourself!"

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
 

Golgo_13

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kirei_na_me said:
Heh...you and me both, neptune... :p

You "naturally have that dirty mind"? OMG! :D

Since your hubby must already know, I'm gonna tell your kids.
 

mad pierrot

I jump to conclusions
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What do you call two lesbians in a canoue?

Fur Traders!

Man, there are some good ones here. Good stuff, Golgo.

:D
 
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