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Offensive Joke, Beware

Pachipro

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A man walks into the bedroom where his wife is sleeping and turns on the light. He has a sheep under his arm. "See honey, this is the pig I told you I was sleeping with."

The wife rubs her eyes and says, "That's no pig you idiot. It's a sheep!"

To which the husband replys, "Hey, I wasn't talkin' to you!"
 

Pachipro

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What do you call a cowboy walking around downtown in Dallas, Texas with two sheep under his arm?

A pimp.
 

Pachipro

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What do you call a deer that is missing an eye?

I have no idea. :D :D :D :D :D 👍
 

Pachipro

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This guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll bet you $100 that I could bite my left eye."

The bartender replys, "No way man", and slaps $100 down on the bar.

The guy takes out his glass left eye and bites it. He takes the $200 and leaves with the bartender cussing behind him.

Two weeks later the same man comes into the bar, slaps $200 down on the counter and says, "That really wasn't fair the last time. I'll give you a chance to win your money back. I'll bet you $200 I can bite my right eye."

The bartender looks at him and says, "Well you can't have two glass eyes. OK," and puts $200 on the bar. The man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye. He takes the $400 and leaves with the bartender cussing behind him.

Two weeks later the same man walks into the bar slaps $500 down on the bar and says, "Hey, I'll give you a chance to win all your money back and then some. I'll bet you I can stand on your bar and piss into a shot glass and not even one drop will will splash onto the bar. How about it?"

The bartender looks at him and says, "I know that's impossible." He places $500 down on the bar with a smile and says, "Man is this going to be easy."

The man climbs up on the bar, unzips his pants and proceeds to piss all over his entire bar, the seats, the glassses, everything while hopping up and down.
The bartender is extremely happy and smiles while clapping his hands. When he's done, the bartender says, "Thanks man. That was the easiest money I ever won. You had me a little worried there."

The man replies, "No, thank YOU sir."

The bartender looks at him quizzically and says, "Why are you thanking me?"
The man replies, "See those three men over there cussing and slamming their fists on the table? I bet them $500 each that I could piss all over your bar and you'd be happy about it!
 

Pachipro

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Jesus Christ walks into a motel, places three nails on the counter and says, "Son, could you put me for the night?"
😊 😊 😊 🙇‍♂️
 

Pachipro

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How does the church make holy water?

They boil the hell out of it!
:D :LOL: :LOL:
 

TheKansaiKid

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This ones offensive no flaming me allowed:

A guy from San Francisco walks into a bar in Texas and with a lisp orders a strawberry daiquiri. The bar tender gives him his drink and says, "We don't let your kind sit at the bar you best gon over there to that table in the corner." The guy looks around and decides here isn't the best place to cause a scene so he goes to the corner. A few moments later a big Texan cowboy stomped into the bar and said, "Bartender git me a beer I'm so thirsty I could lick the sweat off a cows balls." From the corner of the room everyone heard a soft voice say, "Mooooooooooo"
 

Pachipro

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Michael Jackson

Why Did Michael Jackson rush over to K-Mart?

He heard that all kids pants were half off!! :D :D :D :D
 
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