Offensive Joke, Beware
- Thread starter mad pierrot
- Start date
Golgo_13
先輩
- 27 Nov 2003
- 2,001
- 37
Tell me when to stop 
Q: How do the Chinese name their kids?
A: They throw silverware down the stairs.
Q: What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
A: Father's Day.
Q: Why can't black women become nuns?
A: Because they can't get used to saying "Superior" after "Mother".
Q: What is the difference between a pair of jeans and an Ethiopian?
A: A pair of jeans only has one fly on it.
Q: Why do blacks like basketball?
A: It involves running, shooting and stealing.
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q: How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three - one to screw in the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder, and one to
look out for dangerous intellectuals that can do both.
Q: Why is interrogating a Mexican like a pool ball?
A: The harder you hit it the more English you get.
Q: How do the Chinese name their kids?
A: They throw silverware down the stairs.
Q: What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
A: Father's Day.
Q: Why can't black women become nuns?
A: Because they can't get used to saying "Superior" after "Mother".
Q: What is the difference between a pair of jeans and an Ethiopian?
A: A pair of jeans only has one fly on it.
Q: Why do blacks like basketball?
A: It involves running, shooting and stealing.
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q: How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three - one to screw in the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder, and one to
look out for dangerous intellectuals that can do both.
Q: Why is interrogating a Mexican like a pool ball?
A: The harder you hit it the more English you get.
Golgo_13
先輩
- 27 Nov 2003
- 2,001
- 37
Here's a clean kids' joke:
Why do sea gulls live by the sea?
Because if they lived by the bay, they'd be bagels.
When is a door not a door?
When it's a jar.
A 3 year old girl asked her dad if he up wanted to hear a dirty joke. Dad says, "Sure but it better not be too dirty".
So she blurts out "A white horse ran through a mud puddle! hehehehe!"
So Dad asks her, "hehe, Honey who told you that fabulous joke?"
She said, "The ******* preacher's old lady told us that **** ."
Why do sea gulls live by the sea?
Because if they lived by the bay, they'd be bagels.
When is a door not a door?
When it's a jar.
A 3 year old girl asked her dad if he up wanted to hear a dirty joke. Dad says, "Sure but it better not be too dirty".
So she blurts out "A white horse ran through a mud puddle! hehehehe!"
So Dad asks her, "hehe, Honey who told you that fabulous joke?"
She said, "The ******* preacher's old lady told us that **** ."
mad pierrot
I jump to conclusions
- 22 Nov 2003
- 1,453
- 85
- Thread starter
- #30
Time For Some Science Jokes!!!!!
What is a grave digger's favorite element?
BARIUM!!!!!!!
Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?
It's got good food and cheap prices, but just no ATMOSPHERE!!!!!
2 atoms are walking down the street. One bumps into another, and asks, "I'm sorry, are you OK?"
"No, I think I lost an electron.."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm POSITIVE ."
What is a grave digger's favorite element?
BARIUM!!!!!!!
Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?
It's got good food and cheap prices, but just no ATMOSPHERE!!!!!
2 atoms are walking down the street. One bumps into another, and asks, "I'm sorry, are you OK?"
"No, I think I lost an electron.."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm POSITIVE ."
Kama
Okama XD
- 10 Mar 2004
- 420
- 6
Polish jokes, mad pierrot? Okay, since I'm Polish... I know a bit of them...
How do you call a Polish without hands?
A trustworthy man.
Why do Russian steal 2 cars in Germany?
Because they are coming back through Poland.
Americans flied to Mars. After landing they saw Marsian running towards them. They took out flags and started waving. Marsians came and welded the door in racket. They went away, Americans tried to open the door. After 3 hours one of the Marsians came to the racket and asks:
- Still haven't opened the door?
- What 'still'? Did somebody have been here and opened the door faster?
- Sure. Polish.
- Impossible! Such a poor nation and they had money for cosmic flights?
- Yes, more over they opened the door in 15 minutes.
- Impossible! Did they do soemthing else?
- Sure, they gave us gifts.
- What gifts?
- I don't know what it was, but it was called "wpierdol" and everybody was given this.
[wpierdol = to beat somebody to a jelly]
If I remember some more, I'll post them for sure.
How do you call a Polish without hands?
A trustworthy man.
Why do Russian steal 2 cars in Germany?
Because they are coming back through Poland.
Americans flied to Mars. After landing they saw Marsian running towards them. They took out flags and started waving. Marsians came and welded the door in racket. They went away, Americans tried to open the door. After 3 hours one of the Marsians came to the racket and asks:
- Still haven't opened the door?
- What 'still'? Did somebody have been here and opened the door faster?
- Sure. Polish.
- Impossible! Such a poor nation and they had money for cosmic flights?
- Yes, more over they opened the door in 15 minutes.
- Impossible! Did they do soemthing else?
- Sure, they gave us gifts.
- What gifts?
- I don't know what it was, but it was called "wpierdol" and everybody was given this.
[wpierdol = to beat somebody to a jelly]
If I remember some more, I'll post them for sure.
Golgo_13
先輩
- 27 Nov 2003
- 2,001
- 37
What do you call a guy with no head, no arms, and no legs outside your door?
Matt
What do you call a guy with no head, no arms, and no legs hanging on your wall?
Art
What do you call a guy with no head, no arms, and no legs floating in the ocean?
Bob
What do you call a guy with no head, no arms, and no legs in a ditch?
Doug
What do you call a guy with no head, no arms, and no legs at a dump site?
Phil
What do you call a guy with no head, no arms, and no legs boiling in a pot?
Stu
Matt
What do you call a guy with no head, no arms, and no legs hanging on your wall?
Art
What do you call a guy with no head, no arms, and no legs floating in the ocean?
Bob
What do you call a guy with no head, no arms, and no legs in a ditch?
Doug
What do you call a guy with no head, no arms, and no legs at a dump site?
Phil
What do you call a guy with no head, no arms, and no legs boiling in a pot?
Stu
silver angel
Resident Latina
- 26 Sep 2003
- 1,386
- 38
mad pierrot said:2 atoms are walking down the street. One bumps into another, and asks, "I'm sorry, are you OK?"
"No, I think I lost an electron.."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm POSITIVE ."
scary, my physics teacher told me that joke today....X)
- 21 May 2003
- 14,310
- 4,404
Ultimate Dirty Joke Video, Have You Seen....
"CAMEL TOE" by Bob&Tom. A terrifically funny "R" rated
song using the Beach Boy's tune. Poor copies have been going around about a month or more. Find a friend who can send it to you if you missed it!!
Frank
"CAMEL TOE" by Bob&Tom. A terrifically funny "R" rated
song using the Beach Boy's tune. Poor copies have been going around about a month or more. Find a friend who can send it to you if you missed it!!
Frank
silver angel
Resident Latina
- 26 Sep 2003
- 1,386
- 38
I love that one Golgo 13!!!
neptunemoon
Crazy Kitty Girl "Meow"
- 3 Nov 2003
- 1,098
- 3
These are funny I really liked the physics jokes funny yet intellectual.
neptunemoon
Crazy Kitty Girl "Meow"
- 3 Nov 2003
- 1,098
- 3
I think this joke could be offensive so I decided to place it here instead of make another thread for it:
The Confession
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a *****."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a *****?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a *****."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a *****."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a *****."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you
know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son
of a *****."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A *****!!!"
The Confession
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a *****."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a *****?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a *****."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a *****."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a *****."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you
know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son
of a *****."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A *****!!!"
mad pierrot
I jump to conclusions
- 22 Nov 2003
- 1,453
- 85
- Thread starter
- #42
Golgo, man, you're just full of 'em!!!!!!
Keep em comin!
and now.......
Categories - All 4
Not really a joke, but pretty funny.
What % are you?
I swear I don't own leather pants!!!!
Keep em comin!
and now.......
Categories - All 4
Not really a joke, but pretty funny.
What % are you?
I swear I don't own leather pants!!!!
kirei_na_me
Where I'm Supposed to Be
- 31 Jan 2003
- 5,051
- 166
I've taken this many times, and I'm always 46% gay.
- 21 May 2003
- 14,310
- 4,404
WONDER HOW JOHN WAYNE WOULD"VE DONE??
38% is higher than I thought I would do; must be my feminine side peeking through!!
Frank
38% is higher than I thought I would do; must be my feminine side peeking through!!
Frank
EscaFlowne
後輩
- 14 Nov 2003
- 2,757
- 38
[Looks at hachiko and golgo......]
I'm Mi-Tri-Som-Sexual....I might try somethings at least once once. And then other things...NO!
I'm Mi-Tri-Som-Sexual....I might try somethings at least once once. And then other things...NO!
silver angel
Resident Latina
- 26 Sep 2003
- 1,386
- 38
@ golgo...I'm 32% gay +_+;;;;
