LAME joke

[Tempestuous]

Okay, I have a thing for incredibly LAME jokes.
My SiL was totally wigged out at my reaction to this particular one When my 10yr old son told it to me.
What goes Ha Ha Ha CLUNK?
A guy laughing his head off!!!!!
I thought the mental picture on that one was hillarious. Perhaps it's just me? *smile*

 

[Philip]

Actually it's quite funny .... hehe i find it hilarious..
here is another lame joke
Do you know how warm a cirkel is?

 

[Tempestuous]

no clue......

You'll have to fill me in on that one.




Not as funny, but still lame:

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

"Oh my, I am sooo sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the theater, followed by drinks.

They talk, they laugh; she shares her deepest dreams, and he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcapﾂ… and stay for breakfast the next morning. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings.

The guy is amazed. Everything had been incredible. "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No, she replies, "You just happened to catch my eye."

 

[Rich303]

There's two Crocodiles having a chat in the pub.

One says to the other; ''Why the long face?''

 

[Tempestuous]

I have a friend that chuckles at that joke pretty hard....except his version is horses. He usually thinks of it at the most inappropriate times and can't help but laugh.

I must say, that is more lame than the ha-ha-ha clunk joke I get harrased for.

 

[Philip]

360 C but i only think it is funny in danish, because we use the same word for degree and Celcius.

 

[Rich303]

I have a friend that chuckles at that joke pretty hard....except his version is horses.

Yes, I couldn't decide whether to go for horses or crocodiles.
Here's another gem from the school days;


Q) What is big and red and eats rocks?

A) A big red rock eater !


Maybe I am pushing the limits of lameness now.

 

[Mikawa Ossan]

Here's a lame one. There's a pun that's impossible to do right in the written format, but that's how it goes, I guess...

What's black and white and re(a)d all over?

A newspaper

 

[Rich303]

Haha / groan - the old ones are the best Mikawa Ossan !

I will try to post more later

 

[DoctorP]

Reminds me of the one:

Whats red and green and goes 100mph?

A frog in a blender!

 

[Rich303]

Q) How do you make a cat go 'Woof' ?

A) Dip it in petrol and set fire to it !.....(WOOOFFFF ! - sound of small explosion)


(Sorry Tsuyoiko, and other animal lovers)

 

[leonmarino]

Shortest joke ever:

A seal walks into a club.

 

[DoctorP]

oooo that was bad!

 

[Glenn]

I like "there are only 10 kinds of people in the world -- those who understand binary, and those who don't."

 

[Gaijinian]

Or a sick one my dad once told me:
What is red, sits in the corner, and cries?

A baby with a razor blade...

 

[Philip]

That is a sick one. Actually, it's a bit scary

 

[Anchyyy]

Or a sick one my dad once told me:
What is red, sits in the corner, and cries?

A baby with a razor blade...

This a really sick one!

 

[ghettocities]

What is better than a money tree?

The country of Japan!

(You might have to say it aloud, and please not around virgin ears.)
P.S. I made that one up. Ya think?

Josh

 

[Tempestuous]

The cat/woof was funny! The baby one, just terrible!!!

Two men walk into a bar.
You would think the second one would of ducked.


he-heh-he!!!

 

[Damicci]

What do you call a guy with no arms no legs hanging from a wall?







Art!

 

[GodEmperorLeto]

Petey, Paulie and Doo-Da were best friends. But Doo-Da had no arms and legs, so they had to roll him around in a red Radio Flyer wagon.
Well, one day, the three boys went fishing, but all of a sudden, Doo-Da fell in the water. Petey dove into the water to save him while Paulie ran for help.
He stopped at Doo-Da's house and tried to tell his mom, but he was so nervous, he couldn't get a single word out because he was stuttering so much.
So Doo-Da's mom told him to take a deep breath and calm down. So, Paulie took a deep breath. But he was still stuttering. So Doo-Da's mom said to count to ten, then he'd be calm enough to tell her. But even after he counted to ten, Paulie was still too excited and stuttered too much. So Doo-Da's mom read him a story, because that always calmed her son down. But even then, Paulie couldn't stop stuttering because he was too nervous.
So Doo-Da's mom suggested he sing it in a song. So Paulie began to sing:

Guess who fell in the lake today?
Doo-Da! Doo-Da!
Gues who fell in the lake today?
All the Doo-Da day!

 

[Tempestuous]

Another Lame one.....

Why was the little ant confused?????
Cause all his Uncles were ANTS.
HEHEHEHEHE

 

[Flashjeff]

Oooh! Oooh! My turn!!

Why did the man take a coil of rope to a baseball game?

To tie the score!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 

[Mikawa Ossan]

I like "there are only 10 kinds of people in the world -- those who understand binary, and those who don't."

Reminds me of this one.

There are 3 kinds of people in the world--those who can count, and those who can't.

 

[leonmarino]

Reminds me of this one.
There are 3 kinds of people in the world--those who can count, and those who can't.

Which reminds me of this one:

Two atoms are having a conversation:
A: I think I've lost an electron..
B: Are you sure?
A: Yes, I'm positive!!