LAME joke

[davetfridge]

A young boy of 8 goes up to his father and says "What's sex?"
With a little bit of embaressment the father decides that he should tell him about the facts of life.
When he had finished the little boy thinks for a moment snd replies
"That's all well and good, but how am I going to fit all that in this little box?"

 

[MadamePapillon]

What does Star Trek and Toilet Paper have in common?

................

.......

..

They both search the surface of Uranus looking for Klingons.

 

[A ke bono kane kotto]

Little boy ask his mother : "Mom, why are mailmen never female ?"
Mother : "That's a very good question, honey. How would that sound ? A female man ?"

 

[Ashikaga]

They say "Don't Drink & Drive" and that's good advice.... but there are certain instances where you just have to. Like when your kids need to go to school in the morning.

 

[tada]

There were three people on an island and they decided to try and swim to the main land.

The first person made it 1/4 of the way to the mainland and drowned.
The second person made it halfway to the mainland and drowned.
The final person, a blonde, made it halfway, and decided she was way too tired to keep going and was afraid of drowning, so she started swimming back to the island.

Yay for lame jokes!

 

[Kenjirou]

Alright, I actually got this in one of those New Years Poppers... the ones that have jokes in them. Anyway >> What is green and sits in the corner << You will NEVER guess it.




























A Naughty Frog

 

[Flashjeff]

Here's a good lame joke I heard on the radio the other day:

Q: How do you get a fat girl into bed with you?

A: Piece of cake.

Heh!

 

[davetfridge]

What goes in hard and dry, comes out soft and wet and gives pleasure to two people?



A teabag.

 

[Ashikaga]

A line from Dave Attell's stand up act.

"I used to do alot of drugs.... but that was WAAAAY back there."

 

[Gackt21]

Stupid questions 101

Q: What time is it?
A: Look at the clock.

Q: Did you color your hair?
A. Yeah, do you like it?

 

[Sukotto]

The other day i saw a neat car in the parking lot.
My co-worker said it was called a C Evert mini-Coop-er

blah.....!

 

[davetfridge]

Question:

If buses stop at a bus station and trains stop at a train station, what happens at a workstation?

 

[Raurtom]

What do vibrators and soy have in common?




They're both meat substitutes!

 

[sash]

are we talking abt lame jokes or funny ones cuz at the beginning it was lame and it started turning funny.ok here's a funny one

why does a man come to a soccer game with a black and white flag? cuz he cheers for the referee.hi hi hi

 

[Luca]

two grains of sand walk down the desert
grain of sand 1: Hey, I think we're being watched!

 

[Pavel123]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get away from KFC

Why did the second chicken cross the road?

He was playing follow the leader

 

[Pachipro]

- What do you call a deer with only one eye?

I have no idea

- A hot dog walks into the bar and orders a drink.

The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve food here."

- A pair of battery cables walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

- A priest, a rabbi, and a Muslim cleric walk into a bar.

The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?

- A grasshopper walks into a bar and takes a seat. The bartender says, "You know we have a drink named after you."

The grasshopper says, "You have a drink named Chuck?"

- Where does a bee go when he has to relieve himself?

A BP station.

 

[Harry Gatto]

An elderly married couple was at home watching TV.

The husband had the remote and was switching back
and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel.
The wife became more and more annoyed and finally said:
"For god's sake! Leave it on the porn channel.
You already know how to fish!"

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After Nigeria was eliminated from the world cup the Nigerian captain personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that traveled to Brazil.
He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.

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An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution.
When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor.
The female doctor says,"I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little
different from what you are probably used to.
I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say,
'99'.
The old guy obeys and says, "99".
The doctor says, "Great", now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say,
'99".
Again, the old guy says, '99'."
The doctor said, "Very good".
Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly.
I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis
to keep it out of the way.
Now take a deep breath and say, '99'.
The old guy begins,
"One....
two…
three…"

---------------------------
The mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to find her son-in-law Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.
"What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously.
"What happened?? I'll tell you what happened! I sent an e-mail to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip.
I get home ... and guess what I found? Yes, your daughter, my wife Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed!
This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever!"

"Ah now, calm down, calm down Paddy!" says his mother-in-law.
"There is something very odd going on here. Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation.
I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.

"Paddy. I told you there must be a simple explanation ... she never got your e-mail!"