This is kind of a funny post for me to post on since it's my first one. Sort of ended on this thread by mistake-but nonetheless thought it to be a interesting post (in that the original asker is writing a thesis regarding this issue or at least one similar to it). Not sure if I should respond as while I am Japanese and male, I also was raised in the UK when I was really young (either way- I consider myself male before Japanese and nationally I consider myself Japanese before British or Britanese...not that it matters).
What type of class of you writing this paper for (sociology, psychology) and what exactly are you hoping to illustrate? It would seem to be a very difficult topic to cover thoroughly given lack of empirical data/research. Unless of course you mean to conduct your own study-groups or pull from your own censes.
One poster correctly identified that there are more non-Japanese men (referring to westerners as it seems to be the targeted group under discussion) then non-Japanese women in Japan. In my subjective opinion, this is primarily due to the fact western women are less likely to relocate for jobs. Western men are the largest group of transferees, comprising of those who make permanent moves, of those who take short-term assignments requiring relocation, and of those who take assignments that require long-distance commutes. Single women are more likely than married women to take on short-term assignments, but no more likely to relocate permanently.
Consequently, western women are not necessarily viewed as a serious partner to whom Japanese men (such as I) would commit to a meaningful relationship. This may explain why non-Japanese women sometimes express distain at being viewed as a "sexual" partner rather then a "prospective" relationship material. The reason for is as simple as that it is often assumed the western woman would return home to her country (unless otherwise specified).
Japanese men rarely would relocate and leave their company for a partner. We are more committed to our companies until retirement then our Western counterparts. In my experience, many of my non-Japanese colleagues incorrectly assume someone educated overseas would not fit that mold. Honestly, that's absorb.
Fact is, notoriously insular, corporate Japan has long been wary of embracing Western-educated compatriots who return home. I went to King's London College and I can recall being treated with suspicion by Japanese recruiters, who referred to me openly as "over spec" ― too elite to fit in, too eager to get ahead and too likely to be poached or to switch employers before long. Even among top companies with more than a thousand employees, less than 40 percent want to hire Japanese with overseas education. In Japan, taking the time to study overseas sets you back in the shukatsu* race (refers to the system in which Japanese companies typically hire the bulk of their workers straight from college and expect them to stay until retirement).
My point being- even someone who lived overseas and went to college abroad is not any more likely to leave their company in search of a different avenue someplace else. It is literally drilled into our heads that leaving our company would be dishonorable and risk loosing face.
The other idea that is considered is if western women are perceived as more aggressive than Japanese and therefore considered intimidating? This idea is simply based on stereotypes and generalizations, which admittedly Japanese often rely on. However, I can recall several incidents where Japanese women were rather forward and therefore I personally don't attribute 'aggressiveness' based on nationality but rather personality.
At social events, western men are more inclined to approach women that have captured their fancy and engage in conversations than Japanese men. Japanese men rarely implement such an approach, especially with gaijin women. For such women, I would not expect なんぱ/nanpa (picking-up dates in public) and I honestly, leave that skill to the host-boys to finesse for the recruitment of patrons.
Admittedly, in my experience, when a gaijin woman approaches (without me engaging in some form of enticement) I tend to be startled. While it is a form of flattery, the "directness" is also a little unexpected and unsettling. But again- I am a man before I am Japanese and usually just entertain the situation with a polite smile--unless of course, if the woman is outfitted in a T-Shirt with the words "I want a Japanese Boyfriend" proudly displayed over her chest. Besides the fact the large majority of those T-Shirts being grammatically incorrect, I am completely dismayed by how often I see them or even the version of ("I want a Japanese girlfriend").
I am ashamed to admit, that there was one particular time when a young woman wore something equivalent and approached our group (we were getting drinks after work & I was already a wee bit pissed faced) and I believe I reacted in a cheeky snip of "O' rite that's bloody rich dearie!"
It honestly didn't help me feel the need to apologize when the chit then assumed I was some kind of anomaly with being Japanese and speaking with a British accent.
In Japan, go-kon is the most popular way too meet and form romantic partnerships. Typically this blind date is used to form at least some friendships between two groups that are each of a single sex. Generally, a friend (woman or man) organize the gōkon in advance with the help of another friend who is the opposite of sex and in turn invite eligible friends (usually 3 and 3). Usually there is an intended fix-up and the others are merely fillers for the occasion (even married friends will participate, even if their significant other is not attending). The venue is usually a restaurant, izakaya, or anywhere people can eat, drink and make a bit of noise. Generally speaking, gōkon are not primarily intended to result in one-night stands (something more associated with nanpa), but rather for making friends and possibly forming long-term relationships. Sometimes games are played to reduce tension and encourage a convivial atmosphere.
In the West, at least, it's not unusual for a guy and a girl to go out together for their first date for some cup of coffee. Contrary, in Japan going one-on-one with somebody is considered pretty serious and rarely done without the accompany of friends (unless of course it's a date arranged by parents).
I'll conclude that 日本は花より団子じゃねえ – meaning that Japan is not Hana yori dango drama series. Japanese guys really aren't all that different-some are looking for a relationship to last, some are looking around to see what could work, some are just looking around, some are wankers.
**Not that it matters, and a bit personal to disclose – however, I am currently involved with an American girl. Sine this topic refers to Japanese men and Western women relations I'll share a bit......In our case, Kate and I met at a party, which a mutual friend was hoisting and were introduced. I found her attractive, but didn't display any interest and parted company at some point. Towards the end of the night Kate tapped me on the shoulder and said she was informed that my accent was as messed up as hers. Might I add, this was done in terrible Japanese and I absolutely had no idea what she said. Thankfully, she switched to English and that was when I realized she was British! Or so I thought. Then to my amusement she explained she only lived in the UK for a year, but accent she has resulted from living in the South (Georgia) and then having to move around from the East to West coast and eventually Hawaii. As a result, her accent was a Mid-Atlantic English accent and severely confused. As a Japanese who lived in the UK as a kid- I wholeheartedly understood what a confused accent meant. Needless to say- I was smitten.
And I am accurately aware that I ended my post with dating advice- which wasn't my intention at all
