If You're Desperate for Love, Stay at Home!

[Mitsuo]

I just noticed that I did a Double-Entendre at the end of my last post!! I'm not like that though.

 

[MajideSaiaku]

Thats funny, salt lake is like the capital city of the mormon state, it was founded by mormons you know.

Yeah, apparently in the mormon church your not allowed to date until your 16 or something or maybe older, and now thinknig back to it, its almost like arranged marriages, if your nice little local mormon church and family dont approve of a pairing then it doesnt work.

And the families are so sickingly christian sweet....especially the yank's the church alwaysd sent over to run things, it was like a model family for mormons....i guess they dont want the locals to run the church. i always found that one of the annoyances.

The mormon church here in the Uk isnt so bad that they would frown if you married a non-mormon, many relationships and families have alot of non-mormon members.

I was born into that mormon thing, yup...born....i didnt get a choice, i finally escaped at 13 but yeah, apparently those utah mormons are like, ultra-mormons, makes all other mormons look like atheists.

Yeah, going on a mission is like the ritual of becomming a man or some crap like that, and before that the boys within the church have ranks and stuff, the women of course have their own seperate system for doing womanly feminine things, because naturally women arent fit to go on missions and stuff (actually i think a few do but yeah, i assume in utah women almost never go on a mission).

I've always likened the mormon church to a cult, it seems to have everything in common with a cult, except it isnt overly attempting to brainwash and its christian and more mainstream, though i dont think any other church recognises the mormons as a christian church.

Edit: apparently no-ne leaves the church without making a clear statement to the church bishop or whatever he is, so im just an "inactive" member.

 

[Uchite]

I agree with Rich. That is a touching story and well told. I really feel for you.

Thanks!

Have you tried doing a people search for her on the internet?

Yep. Tried that and came up with lots of the same names, but it was definitely not her.

Maybe she is still using the same name but at a different e-mail address.?

Could be! I am now inspired to do another search!

Maybe it was just a case of "two ships passing in the night" where you would never see each other again.

Maybe so. If so, that is fine too. And I have long since accepted it.

But then maybe it worked out for the best as you had to leave Japan anyway.

Probably. But it would have been good to keep in touch. Who knows what would have happened?

Did you mention that to her during your date?

I am almost certain that I did.

It could be why she didn't answer the phone and never got in touch with you as she might've been afraid of falling for you. Just speculating here.

Now this makes sense! I think you are right. I got the feeling that she really liked me a lot and was interested. But for some reason, she was holding back. I think your speculation is probably the reason.

Anyway, thanks for sharing that.

You are welcome. Thanks for reading and thanks for the feedback! :beer1:

 

[Pachipro]

Great story! At least you acted on it. How many times have we spotted a beautiful woman and did nothing only to have the "inaction" haunt us the rest of our lives?

I acted on it once in Japan and she turned out to be the woman from HELL! and my action at the time still haunts me to this day when I think about it. I still wish today, 28 years later, that I had never approached her as it was perhaps the worst two years of my life psychologically.

Granted, it was mostly my fault as I should've left her much earlier than I did, but she was so beautiful, a professional model, very wealthy, and was very good at making me do her bidding by manipulating my puppet strings and throwing cash and material things at me.

Maybe I'll post that experience some day. Suffice it to say that sometimes not acting upon seeing a good looking woman/man may just be the best course of action, but not doing so will always make you wonder. In my case I am still wondering why I did what I did.

 

[ArmandV]

I acted on it once in Japan and she turned out to be the woman from HELL! and my action at the time still haunts me to this day when I think about it. I still wish today, 28 years later, that I had never approached her as it was perhaps the worst two years of my life psychologically.
Granted, it was mostly my fault as I should've left her much earlier than I did, but she was so beautiful, a professional model, very wealthy, and was very good at making me do her bidding by manipulating my puppet strings and throwing cash and material things at me.
Maybe I'll post that experience some day. Suffice it to say that sometimes not acting upon seeing a good looking woman/man may just be the best course of action, but not doing so will always make you wonder. In my case I am still wondering why I did what I did.

Your ex-wife, I presume? I got one of those. She must've been a clone of yours.

 

[Pachipro]

No not my ex-wife. She was wonderful in all respects. Things changed when I left the military and went to college. Too much to explain here. It was the one after her!

 

[dreamer]

Sometimes I come to the conclusion that man is better living as a single...

 

[Nuala]

I'm just myself when it comes to dating. I have a great girlfriend because I am just myself! We celebrated our two month anniversery on the 15th of February.

 

[Rich303]

my action at the time still haunts me to this day when I think about it. I still wish today, 28 years later, that I had never approached her as it was perhaps the worst two years of my life psychologically.

That sounds like some serious trouble, Pach.
Indeed some people can really mess with your head. It is hard to fathom what they get out of it. Attention, power, control - who knows.
When someone treats you bad it is easy to turn it in on yourself and that's when the damage is done.
Cheers for your post - Rich

 

[Mitsuo]

Thats funny, salt lake is like the capital city of the mormon state, it was founded by mormons you know.

Yeah, suprisingly enough it's true. Salt Lake does have a lot of mormons. But I would say that it seems to have less mormons than any other area. I think.

They call inactive Mormons here Jackmormon.

The thing with mormons is that they want to get married in the Temple, and if you're not Mormon, then you can't get married in there. They consider it unholy to have a non-mormon enter the temple.

 

[Reiku]

Sometimes I come to the conclusion that man is better living as a single...

Yeah, I feel that way sometimes too--but masturbation does get old after a while.

I guess the important thing to keep in mind is whether you're looking for a "serious" relationship or just a physical one.

I know it's not a popular veiw, but I don't think there's anything wrong with purely sexual relationships--as long as that's what the people involved want. Of course love is more fufiling, but just because ice cream is better than milk doesn't mean you shouldn't drink milk. A purely physical relationship can be very satisfying, and if that's what sombody's looking for I say more power to them--it's a hard thing to find now days, with everybody looking for a soul mate.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking romantic relationships--I'm head over heels in love myself at the moment--but that kind of thing takes a lot of sacrifice and commitment, and you can't force it. Not everybody wants or is ready for a "soul mate", and I don't think they should forgo sex just because of that. Besides, I've seen plenty of relationships get ruined because people weren't willing to just enjoy what they had and let it develop on their own.

Great sex is a rare and wonderus thing, and if you're lucky enough to be getting it on a regular basis, you really shouldn't mess that up by trying to push things into a more serious relationship. Enjoy what you've got, and if it's meant to be, you'll naturally develop deeper feelings for each other over time.

Of course, I have to admit to some motivational bias on this issue:

It's my firm belief that the world would be a much happier and more peaceful place if more people were getting some.

 

[Uchite]

Sometimes I come to the conclusion that man is better living as a single...

Yes, probably so. Living as a single and having a dog!

 

[MajideSaiaku]

The thing with mormons is that they want to get married in the Temple, and if you're not Mormon, then you can't get married in there. They consider it unholy to have a non-mormon enter the temple.

Ooopsie, i guess i desicrated a temple :S
I was young at the time mind but one thing i remember was NOT feeling the presence of god.
Infact The mormonyness of the temple made me feel it even more strongly that i wasnt a mormon and didnt belnog there.

I think ive been to a temple twice, nice place, what you would expect a cult would funnel all its money into, and it did remind me heavily of a cult compounds temple.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking romantic relationships--I'm head over heels in love myself at the moment--but that kind of thing takes a lot of sacrifice and commitment, and you can't force it. Not everybody wants or is ready for a "soul mate", and I don't think they should forgo sex just because of that. Besides, I've seen plenty of relationships get ruined because people weren't willing to just enjoy what they had and let it develop on their own.

My best mate jase-o sleeps around when it takes his fancy, a girl will come to him (he never goes to them) they will basically do all that flirty crap saying "we both want monkeh sex, lets do it", they'll bugger off to one of jase-o's mates place in town or her place....or worse......and ****, everyones had a good time, goodbyes are said and they never talk again.
My girlfriend hates him for it (shes japanese).
The only problem is hes a completely cool guy, hes generous and will help anyone out, he stands up for his friends, he does his bit, he simply doesnt think personally the emotional investment and heartbreak of love relationships are worth it for him yet, and hes happy enough being single.
Being single while having casual sex is hardly a crime, i wish i could show my girlfriend to look beyond her japanese social burnt-into-her-mind very flat and unfair opinions.
Whats worse is she lumps me along with him, that somehow im a second away from slutting myself out.
Im a normal as they come scottish 20 year old bloke, i behave as such, especially with my mates, it DOES NOT however make me any less committed to my relationship, or somehow insincere about my love.
Hopefully she will never make me choose between her or my best mate because as much as i love her, i aint going to punish my best mate since early high-school (junior high in america and stuff?) just because she cant tell the obvious difference.
"Hmmmm, jase-o sleeps around with girls of like mind and they dont tal k after that so i should irrationally assume my loving boyfriend who cares for me and loves me and has comprimised and shown by the mere act of comming all the way to japan to spend months with me is the same as jase-o, even though if he was just after casual sex he wouldnt need to tell a japanese girl for the past 3-4 years he loves her and has been with her and spent money time, and emotions on me."
But we all know women are jelious types, even when the third party is just a best bud.
Let that be a lesson, Japanese women again, ARE NOT perfect.
Those of us with japanese ladehs and hubbehs punish ourselves so for love.
Or the fact were already in japan and living there.

It's my firm belief that the world would be a much happier and more peaceful place if more people were getting some.

FREE LOVE PPLZ!!!

 

[Ermac]

Like British public transport..... wait for ages and nothing, then three (or more!) turn up at once.

That is soo true

As for the topic at hand..
And I went through this phase awhile back then came to my senses
But I did meet a girl in the process so all is awell

*good topic*

 

[kohlrak]

Thanks Pachipro. :beer1:
I would like to share a story about "the one that got away".
In December 1999, I was in Ebisu going down an escalator in a very big department store (the name escapes me, but I am sure you know it as it is very famous in Japan and there are tons of them!).
And who do I see going up the escalator on the other side, but who had to be the most beautiful girl I think I ever saw in Japan. She looked so pure, so clean and so easy to approach. But I was on the other side and going the other way and it was packed!
I was not letting this stop me, so the second I got to the bottom, I went back up and moved as quickly as possible and could not believe it when I saw her walking rather slowly in the mall; for I thought she would have been long gone by now. I immediately approached her and calmly asked her in Japanese if she could help me. I was astounded and shocked when she also spoke perfect English! I showed her the music magazine I had just bought earlier that day and asked her about some of the music schools listed and what the ads said as I could not read Japanese. She very kindly and patiently told me where they all were, what the ads said about the schools, etc. Meanwhile, my heart was racing because I could not believe this! I told her a little about myself and she listened with interest. I learned that she had lived in Australia and that is where she learned English so well.
As the over 15 minute conversation went on, I knew I had to do something. I simply asked her if she would like to meet me and get together sometime. She asked, "when?" I said, "anytime you want". I then said, "what about tonight?" She said, "that would be fine. Where?" I said, "what about at Shinjuku?" To make sure we met at the right place, we agreed to meet at the West exit, as Shinjuku station is so gigantic! She even gave me her phone number, so I was pretty convinced this was the real deal. We agreed to meet at 8:00. I had to go somewhere before that, but I would be there no matter what!
Upon leaving the train at Shinjuku at 1945 Hours (7:45 P.M.) and walking towards the West exit, who is the first person I see simply standing there looking for me and waiting patiently is "the one that got away". Again, I could not believe this! I knew all about being stood up, and jerked around not only in Japan but in other places and I was wondering up until the last minute is this would not be the case again. It certainly was not!
I said I was sorry to keep her waiting and she told me she did not mind waiting at all and wanted to be sure she was there when I got there and that I did not miss her or get lost. WHAT?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She asked what I wanted to do, and if I told her exactly what I was thinking it may have scared her away. She asked if I was hungry and indeed I was. So she suggested a nearby restaurant that we went to. We drank :beer1: a few cold ones, but not too many and I actually ate more than she did. We talked a lot and got fairly aquainted and learned a little more about each other. :romance: She was a smoker and even though I am not, it did not bother me in the least for some reason. When the check came, I tried to pay. She would not let me! She told me that I am a guest in Japan and this was her treat. Again, I thought, "WHAT?????!!!!!" I offered again to pay, but she would not have it. I said, "okay, next time."
We left and walked a little around Shinjuku and I found out she lived in Shinjuku. I immediately offered to walk her home. She said, "no it's okay" and I offered again, but she repeated what she said and said she had to work tomorrow, so I did not push. "Next time for sure", I thought.
Luckily, I was thinking quickly for once, was prepared and got a picture of her!
I called her the next day and we spoke briefly. I wanted to see her again. And again and again. I called her a few more times (though not being a pest), but either she did not answer, or we could not get together as much as I tried. Maybe I pushed too much. But I don't think so. And I got the feeling she was not putting me off. Her reasons seemed perfectly honest, though maybe they were not completely and maybe she was trying to let me down easy.
Not too shortly thereafter, I had to leave Japan in the beginning of 2000. I do remember calling her and speaking with her one last time and saying I would definitely be in touch. I had her name, phone number and email address. I never had any contact with her since.
I tried and tried after I got back to the U.S. Her phone number was not working, and email address not valid anymore (even though it was not being returned at first; though I don't know if it was being read).
I still can't believe it all these years later! Was it only meant to be for that night and moment in time? Was this an "Angel" (Guardian or otherwise there to be with me and keep me from doing other things or going places that I maybe should not, or to just keep me company)? Was this the girl Deep Purple wrote the song "Woman From Tokyo" about? :music2:
Whoever she was, I think of her as "the one that got away"!
I am okay with it though. But who knows how things would have turned out?
But I will never forget her! :romance: And can only say to her, "domo arigato gozaimaisu!"

Wow... At the same time i'd be like, "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Walking torture... lol

 

[*Bendetta*]

Great topic

And I have to agree with the topic starter here... it's a very nice illusion to be a heartbreaker as soon as you arrive to Japan... reality is something else

 

[j-a-t]

Ha ha ha I agree 100% with this topic starter also. Good job! When I was living in Japan i don't know how many guys i saw come over believing that they were going to be gods gift to the women of Japan. Man did they get crushed quickly.

I think the only thing that kept them going was the fact that the j-girl didn't reject them so much as ignore them. If these guys had said the same thing to some of the Western girls I know they would have been talking funny for a week. However the j-girls tended to let them down a little easier.

The nice thing was that people that weren't over there just to chase skirt, and there was a LOT of skirt, who were being open, friendly, and just being themselves actually did end up in meaningful relationships, and generally a lot more friends.

Well that is 2 cents from my experience anyway

 

[kohlrak]

I would imagin that looks are less important in japan or relationships in general are less important. To think that just because they look hot to you, dosn't mean that you'll look equally amazing to them or that they'll even care no matter how much better you look from what they're used to seeing. We must all remember that it's a completely different culture, and that they are not garenteed to take things at the same priority as some one from our own. I don't know if the rumor is true or not, but i heard that the fatter you are, the better looking you are considered to be in Russia. This is probably a false statement, but it would make a good example of this, since in American culture thinness seems to be a major fashion, even to the point of obcession. In america, for the most part, you're either a twig from caring too much, or you're a marshmellow for not caring. It may come as a shock to many people (sadly), but your own preferance in certain things (not just looks, but even caring about relationships or looks in general) is part of your culture, and it may be diverse in other areas.

 

[lilia12]

hi every body..sexy japanese girls

japanese famous pop idol group. matuura ayako and miki.both of them are sexy. the name of group is GAM ..di you love it...very nice and cool ..so ho
t too..
look the video number 323 at ...netlog.ca
by

 

[Revenant]

I only read the first few posts, but I'd have to agree with Brooker.

There was a single guy from California here who, as I'd say is the typical single North American white guy simply out to find a lay, got together with only one chick during his entire 6 months here, and that was a chick who he discovered lived just a 20 minute drive from where he grew up. I wonder if studying a bit on the psychology of human mating, the signals that are international, and learning how to pick up on microexpressions might not help cross the boundaries of different cultures and the signals sent out.

 

[One Winged Angel]

indded in japan there are plenty of beautiful women i only went for a week and diddnt speak much japanese but they were extremely nice to me all the girls my age hooked their arm in mine when ever they were takeing me to my destination.it was great.One girl i met there was actually cambodian and japanese very beautiful spoke english and went to my school!!!is that not awsome or what?!!
well i diddnt know till we actually started talking i asked where she was born.she was born and raised in cambodia for 10 years and japan for 3.so i was like awsome...tight about when we started talking about school see looked very familiar...but i diddnt know her name just yet.
we ate with her parents who were nice....actually her mom despised me cause she was supposed to be getting married..*cambodian custom at 16*and diddnt like me talking with her daughter but her dad trated me like family and took intrst in my americam customs.
we went shoppiing which ofcouse anything that had a anime on it i automatically think....Anime Awsome!!!! and accientally walked into a pon stor elol i was given some of the weirdest looks lol
but as it was time for me to head back to the place i wwas staying she asked my name...well i was thinking...i wonder why she wants my name now of all times...welli was polite and said i am nathan.and you are?Ohh im trisha enjeru chan*which i never asked but i think means angel in japanese i dunno *.wow i thought beautiful name.....well i came back to the U.S. 3 days later and started school....Holy crap there she is in my english class.
i approached her and asked if she remembered me.well duh ofcourse she did.we were really good freiends then about 4 months later we went out and we are celebrateing our 1 year anniversary on the 22 of this month

 

[cutiepie]

Nah, I don't think Western guys think Japanese girls are hotter....in fact, I don't think they even know the difference!

 

[cutiepie]

While japanese girls are pretty, I believe that asian girls in general are very pretty. Doesn't matter what country they come from.
@ utsuki
utsuki, Malaysian women are also very beautiful, some of the most beautiful asian women i have met have been malaysian

ROCK ON!!! MALAYSIA WOMEN RULE!!!

 

[cutiepie]

Yes, probably so. Living as a single and having a dog!

Are you happy with just a dog?

 

[Duo]

Nah, I don't think Western guys think Japanese girls are hotter....in fact, I don't think they even know the difference!

ah cmon' give us some credit