- 22 Apr 2003
- Reaction score
You obviously feel a great deal of conflict and inadequacy in what you honestly want out of a relationship and how to go after it, which is frankly impossible to deal well with at a distance. Continually dwelling on your negative feelings about these women and their perceived failures is going to cause tremendous amounts of stress and strife, though, even in an otherwise satisfying relationship. As nuri said, the first step in tolorating any of our advice is resolving in yourself that this deeply held belief of Junko as the love of your life is an illusory fantasy only serving to highlight the emptiness of all your other relationships.Wally S. said:The problem is that I spend so much time abroad, and I always had very demanding realtioship with women, I feel like I'm not happy with my wife because she is too good for me, she loves me a lot and she would sacrifice anything to be with me all her life.
It is ironic, because she gave me everything what I expected from Junko...
Because after I realtionship with Junko, I been with another asian girl Thai/American called Chanieng for 2 years, it was more fulfilled but we didn't make a good couple.
Now I feel like I need challange to be happy. And my wife is same nationality then me, and she is just to good and perfect. I feel like I didn't have to fight for her, she gave me everything; love and attention right away.
Although now I understand that Junko was not for me and we were not ment to be togher, I still see her face when I think about great love of my life...
The most lasting unions usually arise from a natural attraction and a mutual compatibility between two people who find each other interesting and want to get to know each other better without any need to manipulate the situation as a romantic fantasy or for the excitement of 'being in love' to validate themselves in a particular culture. It makes me wonder, then, have any of your previous 'girlfriends' been foremost and primarily a really, really close friend ? Someone you could confide in completely openly and easily with without any expecation of romantic favors, commitment, challenge, excitement, attention or any other false demand), where the sexual and physical love grew out of a deep and solid relationship of equals ? Although I know there are so many subtle strands that make up the fabric a relationship it may not be possible to analyze them all at once without breaking yourself down in the process...