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Would you check my sentences?

hirashin

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Dear native English speakers,
Would you correct my sentences if needed?

1 When Mike was eleven years old, he went to London.
2 When you are free, help me.
3 Nancy was having lunch when I visited her. / Nancy was having lunch when I came to visit her.
4 I was washing my car when Tom visited me. / I was washing my car when Tom came to visit me.
5 It was snowing when I got up this morning.
6 When we visited the town/city, they were high school students.
7 Come to my house when you are free.
8 When I visited the school, the boys were playing soccer.
9 I met him when he came to Osaka.
10 When I was twelve years old, my father came back from Canada.
11 When I arrived at the station, it was raining. / It was raining when I arrived at the station.
12 I was eating/having dinner when Nancy called/rang me.
13 I went to this school when I was a child.
14 Ring/Call me when you arrive at the station.

Hirashin
 

mdchachi

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Looks good.
2 When you are free, help me.
It would be more natural to include a please in there.
6 When we visited the town/city, they were high school students.
Grammatically it's ok but I'm not sure what the intended meaning is.
Who is "we" and who is "they"? Why not say
When they visited the town/city, they were high school students.
 

Michael2

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Yes, as above plus I think you probably intended no.3 to be, "when I went to visit her"
 

hirashin

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Thanks for the help, mdchachi and Michael2.

For #6, how about this?
When we visited the city to meet them, they were high school students.

Michael2, is it true that you don't say "high school"? Do you say "secondary school" instead?
 

Michael2

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In England, yes that's right. But mdchachi is right, the meaning is much clearer in his version.
 

Lothor

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Thanks for the help, mdchachi and Michael2.

For #6, how about this?
When we visited the city to meet them, they were high school students.

Michael2, is it true that you don't say "high school"? Do you say "secondary school" instead?
Or to make it even clearer and self-contained, "When we visited the city to meet Mary and Jane, they were high school students."
 
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