Why are 'we' popular?

[PopCulturePooka]

Ahem.
Yes
By 'we' I mean foreign guys, and by popular I mean in Japan, where, in my expereinces there are many Japanese girls and women from all types of social strata looking for foreign men, be it for short term or long term relationships, marriage, casual dating, freindship or... sex.

I've heard the usual stories.

'We' are cool.
'We' are handsome.
'We' can teach them english.
Japanese men dont cut it etc.

I'm asking here why do you think foreign guys are so popular to many different social groups?

I ask, mainly because I wanted to air an interesting theory I had the other day.

'We', by the perception of some girls in Japan, are much more 'handy' than the avergae J guy.

Confused?
GOOD!

*Ahem*

So I was talking to Mayu, a special play friend of mine from Japan. She asked what I was doing that day. I told her I was building a bookcase with my dad. She was shocked/impressed. She asked if my dad was an engineer. I said nope (truck driver). Asked if I was (she knows I'm not). She found the concept that a guy with a degree in Ecology and a truckie could scratch build a bookcase.

It got me thinking.

Back in Japan the number of times a girl was impressed by the fact that me or one of my freinds, or an ex, or a foreign guy they know, could cook a good meal for two. or cook. Full stop.
Contrast that to the legions of Japanese college men and Salarymen I taught who couldn't tell me how to boil an egg or make a cup of good coffee, not because they had language barriers, but because they simply didn't know. Mum cooked, then the wife cooked.

Or the number of Japanese men who told me their hobby was driving. But then admitted they had to call roadside assitance when they had flat batteries or tires. Because changing a tire was too difficult.

When simple home handymen weekend warrior projects needed the involvement of hired tradesmen.

Things like that.

Is another factor in the appeal of the foreign guy that we are muuch more (by perception)... learned than the average J-man? Who might be very knowledgable in his field of study, but a complete klutz around the home?

DISCLAIMER: I know I am making a few generalisations here, even as simple as saying 'foreign guys can cook'. I have met many Aussies guys who cant cook or clean well. But odds are they can do 'manly' things like handyman work or car tuning or some such.

 

[Doc]

DISCLAIMER: I know I am making a few generalisations here, even as simple as saying 'foreign guys can cook'. I have met many Aussies guys who cant cook or clean well. But odds are they can do 'manly' things like handyman work or car tuning or some such.

Listen mate, I hate handyman work. Seriously I do. I'm better at house work than the other stuff. Hell you should see me when I wash dishes! If there's one speck that I missed, I will literally go back and wash the damn plate again. My parents think I'm psycho, but I don't care. At least I can cook. Most men my age can't!

Doc:ramen:

 

[PopCulturePooka]

Listen mate, I hate handyman work. Seriously I do. I'm better at house work than the other stuff. Hell you should see me when I wash dishes! If there's one speck that I missed, I will literally go back and wash the damn plate again. My parents think I'm psycho, but I don't care. At least I can cook. Most men my age can't!

Doc:ramen:

See, you do housework.

Men and women in Japan alike were amazed when I told them that in my house Dad is responsible for doing the laundry and dishes. Or that both rents would do the weekly grocery shopping together.

We may not LIKE doing the cooking, cleaning, handywork, but generally a western guy CAN do it.

 

[Doc]

See, you do housework.

Men and women in Japan alike were amazed when I told them that in my house Dad is responsible for doing the laundry and dishes. Or that both rents would do the weekly grocery shopping together.

We may not LIKE doing the cooking, cleaning, handywork, but generally a western guy CAN do it.

This is very true. However, I would like to point out that I do like to cook and clean, if it's for myself that is. I hate having to cook or clean after other people. When I do it for myself I'm like gay man with nick nacks. I'm a freaking perfectionist. Yet, if I have to clean or cook for somebody else, I half *** it. Mainly because I never get any graditude. Go figure.

Doc:ramen:

 

[jieshi]

I can back foirst house pooka on this one. I started school in japan at the beginning of last wekk adn I have to say this, IM LOVING IT!!!!!!! its like being flippin keanu reeves because everytime I walk into a room at least 20 cute girls scream out "JIESHHIIIIIIIIIII" lol.

anyway yes japanese girls get very impressed by foreign men (they also jump around screaming alot when you tell them you dont have a girlfriend)

 

[kirei_na_me]

I must say that my husband can cook, build things, clean house, take care of kids, and do lots of dirty work(i.e. changing tires, changing oil, etc.). He's a mechanic, though, so.... He does need to work on plenty of other things, though...

His co-workers are all really girly acting if you ask me. He's the only one in the group that even looks like a man. The rest of them look like they would be just as feminine as me if they put on a little makeup and some heels. Those guys won't even mow the grass.

And it's not only guys they are fascinated by. They are fascinated by "us", as in foreign females, too. Not just the men, either. I can't count the number of times my female friend got a group of her friends from Japan to come over to my house and they acted as if I was an exhibit in a zoo...

 

[Mike Cash]

We probably don't fall very far from making it onto a list such as "Why is a pickle better than a man?" or the like, truth be told.

 

[lexico]

Change my bed to the other guy's ... Les Fleurs du Mal

Keeping to your question, it can also be said it's another case of the other man's grass being greener, a breath of fresh air so to speak. Also see, what makes a healthy exotic face more desirable and hence sexy, posted by member Mal.. hehe, he's got a good one there, somewhere on the forum.

 

[Iron Chef]

Don't forget the whole "ladies first" thing. A lot of women get this floored expression on their faces when I merely hold the door open for them as they pass through, heh. Apparently chivalry isn't a high-priority for a lot of guys (and i'm not just talking about Japanese).

 

[Ma Cherie]

This is interesting, I wouldn't know anything because I've never been to Japan. But it sounds to me like these are cultural differences. In the West, I guess I could say that men these days are taugt that it's alright to do housework and things of that sort. And it doesn't seem, from what I'm learning about japanese society thus far, that men aren't taught those sort of things. So, what it seems to me is that this is just another one those situations where the japanese have this facsination with foreigners. Being in a homogenous society.

Okay, what I found strange and almost ridiculous is that when FirstHousePooka pointed that a hobby for some japanese men is driving. And yet they have to call for help to change a tire? ☝ My goodness, I don't have a car and I can change a tire. What is up with that?

 

[mad pierrot]

The simplest explanation is usually right.

Why? Because they're different. Although the other reasons given by others don't hurt either.

 

[cicatriz esp]

The grass is always greener where the dogs are s**tting.

 

[Meshane]

I can back foirst house pooka on this one. I started school in japan at the beginning of last wekk adn I have to say this, IM LOVING IT!!!!!!! its like being flippin keanu reeves because everytime I walk into a room at least 20 cute girls scream out "JIESHHIIIIIIIIIII" lol.

anyway yes japanese girls get very impressed by foreign men (they also jump around screaming alot when you tell them you dont have a girlfriend)

Wow now I really look forward to my trip next week. Jieshi you going to high school there? I'm finishing my grade 12 year at a high school in Hokkaido .

 

[Doc]

This is interesting, I wouldn't know anything because I've never been to Japan. But it sounds to me like these are cultural differences. In the West, I guess I could say that men these days are taugt that it's alright to do housework and things of that sort. And it doesn't seem, from what I'm learning about japanese society thus far, that men aren't taught those sort of things. So, what it seems to me is that this is just another one those situations where the japanese have this facsination with foreigners. Being in a homogenous society.

Okay, what I found strange and almost ridiculous is that when FirstHousePooka pointed that a hobby for some japanese men is driving. And yet they have to call for help to change a tire? ☝ My goodness, I don't have a car and I can change a tire. What is up with that?

Let's see I hate handywork, but I can change a tire, an air filter, and the oil in a car. Hmm, those are the three simplest things a person can do to their car. If the average Japanese male can't do that, then I have a feeling society in Japan will be doomed when services decline.

Doc:ramen:

 

[MajideSaiaku]

iron chef, i hold the door open for everyone, female or otherwise, i hear stories of women getting really worked up and upset at a guy simply being a gentlemen and opening the door and letting them through first, but in my experience the worst i get is non-recognition and the best is a smile and a sincere thankyou.

i think i tried this with my japanese girlfriend but she really didnt get it, and i think she didnt understand why i would open doors and wait for her to go through when we were out together, so i ussually just hold her hand, open a door, and go through with her directly behind, infact, if we aint holding hands, she's attached to my arm like a barnicle to a ships hull =P.

i also tried the kissing the back of the hand thing, just being silly in my romantic way but she didnt get that either.


over painful generalization but IN GENERAL as the virgin wife thread made me think maybe alot of japanese men really ARE less affectionate with their feelings as westerner's, my girlfriend even told me "japanese boys dont seem very good at being affectionate with their girlfriends".
in contrast, americans are very outspoken and up-front with their feelings, italians are famous for the good and bad sides of lovers, and french was once considored the language of love.

as for the "WE" (i.e. all foreigners) are popular is simply because were different.

 

[jieshi]

iron chef, i hold the door open for everyone, female or otherwise, i hear stories of women getting really worked up and upset at a guy simply being a gentlemen and opening the door and letting them through first, but in my experience the worst i get is non-recognition and the best is a smile and a sincere thankyou.

i think i tried this with my japanese girlfriend but she really didnt get it, and i think she didnt understand why i would open doors and wait for her to go through when we were out together, so i ussually just hold her hand, open a door, and go through with her directly behind, infact, if we aint holding hands, she's attached to my arm like a barnicle to a ships hull =P.

i also tried the kissing the back of the hand thing, just being silly in my romantic way but she didnt get that either.

I will say this, i have never had a bad response from any japanese girl doing this. In fact the freak out and go "OMG I love this guy he is a gentleman"

one time i went out with a gilr (32) her brother(25) and the brothers girlfriend who me and the sister were meeting for the first time. I held the door open for the girls (and then let the guy through) and I the gf was going on about it so much i actually had to lay off a bit because I was embarassing the brother (he almost lost his gf that day because of me lol)

all in all japanese girls lov a gentleman, the art of chivalry is an art worth mastering

 

[Damicci]

I think you guys just happen to come across the ones that think highly of these acts as a "gentlemen" don't think all japanese women or foreign women think it is "cool".

most foreign men are probably consider trophies or the new accessory which makes the woman look cool. If you really wonder about this question too much just hope that the girl you think is all gaijin crazy is really interested in you and not your gaijin status.

 

[Davey]

me populair??

hope not

 

[misa.j]

Probably the same reasons as why Asian women are popular among some of the Western guys. Just kidding.

A lot of Americans I have met are kinder and gentler than Japanese men. They also seem more intellectual and maturer. It all depends, though.

 

[Shas]

i just have to make an uneducated guess: we're just different. blonde hair, blue eyes or tall people are just rare so it might be exciting

 

[mizer]

My JBF is useless at DIY and practical stuff. It's nothing to do with being Japanese though. He's just not the most, erm, co-ordinated person!!! Luckily, I am handy at those kinds of things. But I make him do his share of work...

Yes, I can change a car fan-belt, oil and filter, *and* I'm female *and* I don't even own a car! But I like mechanicky stuff! Well, I have insanely skilled fingers and my BF can just about manage to tie his shoelaces.

 

[Pachipro]

Probably the same reasons as why Asian women are popular among some of the Western guys. Just kidding.

A lot of Americans I have met are kinder and gentler than Japanese men. They also seem more intellectual and maturer. It all depends, though.

On the whole, I think you are quite correct in both your statements.

Western men are attracted to Japanese women because of the "mystique" that surrounds them. I can't speak for the other Asian races, but I have heard many a western man say that Japanese women are sexy, fashionable, educated, and "really know how to treat a guy" unlike women in their own country. Some western men, even today, have the false notion that Japanese women are submissive. Which is quite far from the truth. I know this is a blanket statement, but this is what I have heard from others. As for myself, as far back as I can remember I had an affinity for Asian women and I don't even know, to this day, why. It's just something I was born with.

As a western man in Japan, I have been told exactly what you mentioned above when I was younger. When I asked a few women why they dated exclusively foreign men they mentioned kindness, caring, matureness, treating a lady like a lady by opening car doors, holding the seat out for them at a restaurant, being physical and affectionate, etc. Again this is a blanket statement, but it is what I was told by the few I asked.

But it all boils down to the fact that because of these things (and what they perceive from movies and such) "we" are popular among a large segment of the Japanese female population. And a lot of western men do live up to it. And the Japanese women just love it compared to how they are treated by Japanese males (not all mind you). Want to impress your Japanese female friend? Just cook breakfast or a meal. Do your own laundry. I had a Japanese woman just flip out one night when I made Om Rice (omlette rice))! If you think she was impressed by that, you should've seen her when I made a kontatsu teishoku (fried pork dinner) complete with miso soup! You'd think I performed a miracle or something. To me it was just normal to learn how to cook living alone. I know my neighbors were probably flipping out when I was hanging out my laundry on the poles along with them in the morning!

I, myself am not a handyman, as I do not have the natural skills, but I can do most of the basic things mentioned above and then some. But redo the kitchen or put on a deck? No way. For the time it would take me to do something like that it would be cheaper to hire a pro.

For example, some years back the faucet went bad on the kitchen sink. Being the "man of the house", I figured I'd do it myself and impress my wife and save some money to boot! Well it took me eight hours to get the damn thing in and it still leaked! I finally got it to stop leaking the next day. All in all I probably spent 14 hrs on it when a pro could've installed one perfectly in an hour or two and I could've spent the weekend out with the wife!

all in all japanese girls lov a gentleman, the art of chivalry is an art worth mastering

This is what I discovered also and apparently, it still holds true today.
Jeez, sometimes I don't know when to stop writing! Sorry for getting carried away

 

[ralian]

Wow, Pachipro, I'm impressed. So you can cook!
Women love men who can cook.
So, those who cannot cook. You should learn how to cook.

 

[misa.j]

Women love men who can cook.

I agree. I always thought men who could cook were very sexy.
I learned how to cook mostly from my husband, who now likes to cook only for certain things, but he used to cook for me everyday when we lived in Japan.

But it all boils down to the fact that because of these things (and what they perceive from movies and such) "we" are popular among a large segment of the Japanese female population. And a lot of western men do live up to it. And the Japanese women just love it compared to how they are treated by Japanese males (not all mind you).

It seems to me that a lot of American men who I know have been taught that the girls and the women are special, and they needed to be treated gently with respect, never hut them, since they were very young from their fathers.
I'm not sure the relationship between a father and a son in Japan is as close as it is in the states. I don't know about all of them, but somewhat they seem to have a distant relationship, not close enough to talk about even girls and women. I think a lot of men get influenced very strongly by their father especially on things like how to treat women.

 

[Ma Cherie]

I agree. I always thought men who could cook were very sexy.
I learned how to cook mostly from my husband, who now likes to cook only for certain things, but he used to cook for me everyday when we lived in Japan.


It seems to me that a lot of American men who I know have been taught that the girls and the women are special, and they needed to be treated gently with respect, never hut them, since they were very young from their fathers.
I'm not sure the relationship between a father and a son in Japan is as close as it is in the states. I don't know about all of them, but somewhat they seem to have a distant relationship, not close enough to talk about even girls and women. I think a lot of men get influenced very strongly by their father especially on things like how to treat women.

That's a good point, but I think the reason for why Japanese men are not as close to their fathers, because due to the work orientated society in which they live, fathers remain absent quite often. I find it kind of sad that it seems to me the Japanese have to choose between their family and their careers. I really don't know. :? That's true, men are greatly influenced by their fathers in how women are treated. Hey, it's the father's job, isn't it? I'm not all that surprised Western men have a fairly decent reputation in how they treat foriegn women.