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Why are 'we' popular?

"That's true, men are greatly influenced by their fathers in how women are treated. Hey, it's the father's job, isn't it?"

Hmm... my parents were married for 22 years before they got divorced. While they were married and during most of my childhood, my father was never around. That's not to say he was off working hard to support the family but rather he preferred to spend his time carousing around town breaking the law, having extra-marital affairs, and staring at the bottom of a bottle day-in, day-out.

As a result, it was my mother who was the domineering force for me and my brothers growing up. Despite holding two jobs, going to school part-time to study English, doing the all the day-to-day things mothers do while we were at school (cooking, cleaning, etc.). she still found time to raise three sons who never broke the law, took drugs, got anyone pregnant along the way, etc. not to mention all of us finished grad school. Everything I am, I owe to her for making all those sacrifices along the way. Needless to say, I have a tremendous respect for women... but not a single ounce of insight or pearl of wisdom was ever gleaned from my father. :cool:

I suspect though that I may be the exception and your statement is for the most part correct (generally speaking).
 
I DISAGREE WITH YOUR STATEMENTS!

Hehe, sorry, just wanted to make sure this was noticed:
I'm an Englishman of Indian ethnicity, and had lived in Japan for 8 months, but had nowhere near as much luck with Japanese women as most foreigners would attest to.

I can break this down to

1. The girls in my area (Nagamine-minami, Kumamoto city) being much more apprehensive about dating in general.
2. American guys know how to talk to women. I'm still pretty hopeless at talking to women, but one disadvantage to this theory was that I was living with another Englishman, a tall, long-haired, well-built rugby player from Leeds who happened to be fairly good with the ladies back home, who also had no luck. What gives?

I firmly believe that the whole "wow, a foreign guy!" gig is not universal, applicable to white men and increasingly black men now, and I feel MTV Japan has a lot to do with that [:p]
 
Sadly, many Japanese men are not very good at expressing affection to their loved ones.
Some of them think being gentle or affectionate is not manly.
(I'm talking about the older generations. I don't know about the younger generations. )
 
jet_dee said:
I DISAGREE WITH YOUR STATEMENTS!

Hehe, sorry, just wanted to make sure this was noticed:
I'm an Englishman of Indian ethnicity, and had lived in Japan for 8 months, but had nowhere near as much luck with Japanese women as most foreigners would attest to.

I can break this down to

1. The girls in my area (Nagamine-minami, Kumamoto city) being much more apprehensive about dating in general.
2. American guys know how to talk to women. I'm still pretty hopeless at talking to women, but one disadvantage to this theory was that I was living with another Englishman, a tall, long-haired, well-built rugby player from Leeds who happened to be fairly good with the ladies back home, who also had no luck. What gives?

I firmly believe that the whole "wow, a foreign guy!" gig is not universal, applicable to white men and increasingly black men now, and I feel MTV Japan has a lot to do with that [:p]

You sir I think hit the nail on the head. Like I said not everywhere will japanese women be falling at your gaijin feet. I honestly don't think gaijin men are popular at all. maybe among giri giri (what) school girls but but among women (which i like) I think we are abou average if not less average in liking from japanese women. I don't think black males are on the rise though. I think I can verify that one. :eek:
 
Damicci said:
You sir I think hit the nail on the head. Like I said not everywhere will japanese women be falling at your gaijin feet. I honestly don't think gaijin men are popular at all. maybe among giri giri (what) school girls but but among women (which i like) I think we are abou average if not less average in liking from japanese women. I don't think black males are on the rise though. I think I can verify that one. :eek:

Really? In Shibuya Gas Panic black males are wildly popular, they even outnumbered any other male race there, and each of them had a girl.
 
Nope I went to Gas panic and I barely was looked at. And not to toot my own horn but I am pretty good looking i think.

This was just last month so I doubt it has changed much. Maybe I just don't look approachable. I have had that told to me before. I even had a friend tell me that most of her friends and japanese women would prefer white men over black. She is japanese.
 
Damicci said:
Nope I went to Gas panic and I barely was looked at. And not to toot my own horn but I am pretty good looking i think.

This was just last month so I doubt it has changed much. Maybe I just don't look approachable. I have had that told to me before. I even had a friend tell me that most of her friends and japanese women would prefer white men over black. She is japanese.

That's not surprising really, it's one thing when it's a white guy, but a black person or possibly anyone who isn't white, oh boy! :eek: But not all japanese women are like that. I guess you were just unfortunate. :sorry:
 
Damicci said:
This was just last month so I doubt it has changed much. Maybe I just don't look approachable. I have had that told to me before.
Maybe you just haven't met the right person Damicci. I checked out your blog and you seem to be fluent in Japanese, a big plus with the ladies. (I'm impressed with your writing also!) If that's your picture I can't see any reason why a few ladies may not be interested in you. I think you need to check out a few more places during your next visit.
I even had a friend tell me that most of her friends and japanese women would prefer white men over black. She is japanese.
Ouch! But I beg to differ over that as I knew plenty of women in Japan who dated black men as well as white men and some of them had their own preferences. They were further sub-divided into those women who preferred English, Italian, or other European men. It's the same everywhere. In the US, as you well know, there are women who prefer to date only white men and there are those who prefer to date black men, or Asian men, latino or what have you. There are also men who prefer to date only, white, Asian, or black women. My nephew for example, has an affinity for black women and is engaged to one.

So, in my opinion, I feel that if a woman is interested and likes you for being you, the color of your skin will not matter one bit. I wish you better luck in the future.
 
Well I wasn't really looking to meet anybody like that. But The stories people "make up" about blacks in japan and how we are SOOOooo.... popular I think are B/S and Extremely over exaggerated. Thank you for the comments on my japanese I still have along way to go. And it is very flattering I think when i tried to speak japanese to the people I met. They seemed to love it som uch that they forget I am a new speaker and speak to me natively me sometimes.

Finally i'll agree that it is o'course personal preference. I wa sjust stating that don't believe they Japanese women are all goo goo and gaa gaa over English speaking males. I don't think that this is true. I just think it adds a spice to you when a Japanese woman is interested in you.
 
Damicci said:
Well I wasn't really looking to meet anybody like that. But The stories people "make up" about blacks in japan and how we are SOOOooo.... popular I think are B/S and Extremely over exaggerated. Thank you for the comments on my japanese I still have along way to go. And it is very flattering I think when i tried to speak japanese to the people I met. They seemed to love it som uch that they forget I am a new speaker and speak to me natively me sometimes.

Finally i'll agree that it is o'course personal preference. I wa sjust stating that don't believe they Japanese women are all goo goo and gaa gaa over English speaking males. I don't think that this is true. I just think it adds a spice to you when a Japanese woman is interested in you.
As a whole, I agree with you. It is over exageratted, especially by the males who have been to Japan for a year or two. However, live there long enough and you'll come away with a few good stories of your own to take back home that alot of people will find hard to believe. That is if you don't marry one. The percentage of Japanese women seriously interested in any foreigner is relatively small. Very small. And those that patronize mainly places where foreigners are known to hang out are interested in one thing: meeting foreigners.

Personally, I met plenty of women in all the years I lived there, but I don't think I met but maybe one or two women in the Shinjuku/Roppongi/Shibuya bar/disco scene whom I dated seriously. And even that was for a short time as they weren't my type or were only interested in how many foreigners they could score. Tokyo, for me, was mostly a bust when it came to meeting decent, serious women. However, I did have good times and more than my share of one nighters.

The women I did date seriously though, I met at places outside of Tokyo that I met at a party or were part of a group that hung out at places I frequented often. And to top it all off I met my wife when I least expected it and wasn't even looking to meet anyone at the time. We just happened to be seated at the same table at a crowded McDonalds on a Sunday afternoon. So, in the end, you never know.
 
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