Visiting a Japanese Home
- Thread starter Brooker
- Start date
Elizabeth said:
Yeah,the first time I did that,my husband was shocked!!And to think it was an ice cream,for heaven's sake! We had to stop at a corner and finished our ice cream first....Aside from the culture thing,I don't think they are used to it coz they don't have hotdog stands or food stalls on the sidewalks.
Young people today are changing,though.
But I still would not call it a common sight,unless you go to Disneyland!!
As for blowing your nose in public,I noticed that during PTA meetings,most mothers go out of the room and do it in the hallway,where nobody can see.
But I can tell you that blowing ones nose in public is not taboo here just don't blow your nose with a handkerchief,use a tissue or else they will think you're from outer space!
- 10 Apr 2004
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- #53
I broke the eating in public rule all the time. I knew it was a taboo, but I broke it anyways because I wanted to and I just didn't see the harm in it. I ate gyoudon bowls on trains and every morning I'd eat an onigiri while walking to work. I know I'm going to gaijin hell. 
I often got a dirty look from a cross-dressing Japanese man(?) who lived in the neighborhood where I worked.
I often got a dirty look from a cross-dressing Japanese man(?) who lived in the neighborhood where I worked.
- 15 Mar 2002
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budd said:
I thought you were using your book of life (with you as the author) on this, your own empirical observations.
It's no trouble to find native Japanese who will tell you it's very bad to blow their noses in public, to puke on the sidewalk or in the train, to whip out Mr. Happy and piss just anywhere the mood strikes, or to hawk up gobs of snot in public. That's simple etiquette.
Unfortunately, it is also no trouble to find native Japanese who very blithely engage in those same activities. As I mentioned much earlier in this thread, the trouble arises from the asinine use of the term "The Japanese" as though they were a monolithic entity.
Elizabeth said:
Want candid photos of it?
- 10 Apr 2004
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- #55
It seems the problem is the notion that because Japanese people do it, it must not be considered rude. Maybe the people who do those things are considered rude by other Japanese people. There are a lot of things that are considered rude in America that I see people doing all the time. Ever seen someone pick their nose in public? So a foreigner could say, "I saw someone picking their nose in America, and therefore, picking your nose is not considered rude in America." Wrong!
Maybe it's an issue of the level of rudness. For example, I've been people peeing in public in both America and Japan, but it seemed a bit more common in Japan. Now I'm sure that's considered "rude" in both countries, but maybe it's considered less rude in Japan than it is in America, or it's just a bit more overlooked. But regardless, it's still rude, and you'll find rude people wherever you go.
Maybe it's an issue of the level of rudness. For example, I've been people peeing in public in both America and Japan, but it seemed a bit more common in Japan. Now I'm sure that's considered "rude" in both countries, but maybe it's considered less rude in Japan than it is in America, or it's just a bit more overlooked. But regardless, it's still rude, and you'll find rude people wherever you go.
Trojan1313
先輩
- 9 Aug 2004
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Perhaps you should check if it's the same author.mikecash said:
- 15 Mar 2002
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Trojan1313 said:Perhaps you should check if it's the same author.
I am positive that it is not the same author. There are as many different Japans as there are foreigners in Japan. I don't live in theirs, and they don't live in mine.
Trojan1313
先輩
- 9 Aug 2004
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According to the CIA world factbook 2004, there are 0 immigrants per 1000 citizen.mikecash said:
- 10 Apr 2004
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- #62
I will be taking my trip to Japan very soon and I'm getting nervous and excited. I've been taking Japanese classes which has jogged my memory a bit and taught me a few new things, so hopefully I'll be able to get around and communicate with my friend's family.
I'll be spending most of my time traveling around Tohoku (Northern Honshu) hiking and checking out rural and mountain areas. I've seen urban and industrial Japan, now I want to see the other side.
Wish me luck! :joyful:
I'll be spending most of my time traveling around Tohoku (Northern Honshu) hiking and checking out rural and mountain areas. I've seen urban and industrial Japan, now I want to see the other side.
Wish me luck! :joyful:
wow,Brooker,that's nice!
I'm sure you will enjoy your stay and will help you discover more of Japan and it's magic.
It's getting cooler these days now and we're having some rain,too.
Just take care and don't forget to tell us some nice & funny stories!
Itterashai mase! or Irrashai mase?
I'm sure you will enjoy your stay and will help you discover more of Japan and it's magic.
It's getting cooler these days now and we're having some rain,too.
Just take care and don't forget to tell us some nice & funny stories!
Itterashai mase! or Irrashai mase?
Dan B
"Follow your bliss."
- 1 Jun 2004
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Enjoy your trip, Brooker! I just got back from the Chugoku region several weeks ago. I had a fantastic time.
Regarding eating and drinking in public, I noted at a matsuri in Kurashiki that plenty of people were standing around eating food and drinking beers from street vendors. Is this another indication of the loosening of this cultural taboo or have street vendors/festivals/etc. always been exceptions to the rule?
Dan
Regarding eating and drinking in public, I noted at a matsuri in Kurashiki that plenty of people were standing around eating food and drinking beers from street vendors. Is this another indication of the loosening of this cultural taboo or have street vendors/festivals/etc. always been exceptions to the rule?
Dan
My sensei (She's Japanese) said not to walk & eat/drink at same time. It's rude because some ppl may not have the money to eat/drink... makes a bit of sense and seems to go along with the Japanese way of showing kindness and consideration.
I hawked a big-ol spit on the ground many times... but this one certain time I did it, my fellow student with me said when I spit, he noticed a construction worker made a suprised/disgusted face at me, rofl. (Don't worry I spit in dirt/grass or places where I know peoples feet aren't gonna be)
Later on my sensei said that is also rude.
Not sure about any other things not to do in public... as for living the life in a Japanese Home-stay... I asked my JP-GF what I should avoid when I visit her house but she could only think of, "Remove your shoes at the door!!!" ahahahaa.
I hawked a big-ol spit on the ground many times... but this one certain time I did it, my fellow student with me said when I spit, he noticed a construction worker made a suprised/disgusted face at me, rofl. (Don't worry I spit in dirt/grass or places where I know peoples feet aren't gonna be)
Later on my sensei said that is also rude.
Not sure about any other things not to do in public... as for living the life in a Japanese Home-stay... I asked my JP-GF what I should avoid when I visit her house but she could only think of, "Remove your shoes at the door!!!" ahahahaa.
- 10 Apr 2004
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- #68
Thanks for the tips all, but just to clarify, I was really only asking specifically about the etiquette for being in a Japanese home. I've lived in Japan and have a pretty good idea of what I can get away with in public, but staying in a Japanese home is going to be a new one for me.
- 10 Apr 2004
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- #69
Well, I recently visited the Japanese home. After all my preparations I still made a few mistakes, but I think it went well enough. I was wearing a huge backpack when I entered and it was very difficult to move around in the genkan (entrance). So I set my shoes down facing the wrong way, and the mother moved them.
Apparently the parents were a little nervous about meeting me. They used to speak English quite well, but had forgotten nearly everything over the years. As soon as dinner began, the father cracked open a bottle of sake and insisted that I join him in finishing it. By the end of the meal, we were both feeling pretty loose. I tried to speak as much Japanese as I could, but it's been a long time since I spoke Japanese regularily, so my friend did a lot of translating. The mother cooked a very nice Japanese meal, but unfortunately, when I travel I usually don't get very hungry. I thought I ate quite a lot, but they kept trying to get me to eat more, probably expecting that all Americans eat a lot. After dinner I gave them their gifts because they opted to do it then, rather than before dinner. They seemed to like their gifts, local items from the Northwest.
After dinner I took a shower and bath, as I knew it was expected before going to bed. I don't usually take a bath, but they'd already run the water for me, so I figured I'd better. I showered, then bathed, and although my friend told me that I could drain the water, I didn't, because I'd heard that you're not supposed to.
I slept in the tatami room we'd eaten dinner in that had now been converted into a bedroom with a futon on the floor.
All in all, it was a very pleasant experience.
Apparently the parents were a little nervous about meeting me. They used to speak English quite well, but had forgotten nearly everything over the years. As soon as dinner began, the father cracked open a bottle of sake and insisted that I join him in finishing it. By the end of the meal, we were both feeling pretty loose. I tried to speak as much Japanese as I could, but it's been a long time since I spoke Japanese regularily, so my friend did a lot of translating. The mother cooked a very nice Japanese meal, but unfortunately, when I travel I usually don't get very hungry. I thought I ate quite a lot, but they kept trying to get me to eat more, probably expecting that all Americans eat a lot. After dinner I gave them their gifts because they opted to do it then, rather than before dinner. They seemed to like their gifts, local items from the Northwest.
After dinner I took a shower and bath, as I knew it was expected before going to bed. I don't usually take a bath, but they'd already run the water for me, so I figured I'd better. I showered, then bathed, and although my friend told me that I could drain the water, I didn't, because I'd heard that you're not supposed to.
I slept in the tatami room we'd eaten dinner in that had now been converted into a bedroom with a futon on the floor.
All in all, it was a very pleasant experience.
I heard that most people ( especially in the hot humid summer) use their handkerchief to wipe the perspiration off there face. So when they see you use the same handkerchief to blow your nose they wonder if your going to use it to wipe your face later...eeewwww!
Brooker: the phrase your thinking of for "I am inconveniencing you by entering" is "Shitsurei Shimasu" (sp?)
Have fun when you go. I made a few mistakes when I was there last. But I think it's expected of us. My GF parents where forgiving of my little mistakes. The hards thing for me it to remember to take off the shoes. After a night of drinking and coming back to my girlfriends apartment I forgot to take off my shoes in my haste to make it to the rest room. She made me walk back out the front door and come back in and take my shoes off. Felt like a little kid. But it was funny! I leave in 4 day to go back and make more gaijin mistakes.
Brooker: the phrase your thinking of for "I am inconveniencing you by entering" is "Shitsurei Shimasu" (sp?)
Have fun when you go. I made a few mistakes when I was there last. But I think it's expected of us. My GF parents where forgiving of my little mistakes. The hards thing for me it to remember to take off the shoes. After a night of drinking and coming back to my girlfriends apartment I forgot to take off my shoes in my haste to make it to the rest room. She made me walk back out the front door and come back in and take my shoes off. Felt like a little kid. But it was funny! I leave in 4 day to go back and make more gaijin mistakes.
- 10 Apr 2004
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- #71
On my last trip to Japan I stayed in a few ryokan(s) (traditional Japanese style inns) and I felt like I couldn't make a move without doing something wrong. But the people around me seemed to be forgiving of my mistakes. But I still wanted to try to WOW everyone with my keen social skills. 
This seems like the most appropriate thread....
I'm planning to go to Osaka for a week. I have a good friend in Osaka. I would love to stay with this friend at home, but i do not want to impose. i would like to test the water of my friend's feelings toward me staying there. if my friend does not want me to stay, i'll look up accomodations.
maybe i ask because i'm not so great with people in general since all my friends moved away when i was in middle school, but would any of you have suggestions for breaching the subject, polite refusal but not too much refusal; if my friend would be really excited to have me i want to accept at the right time in the refusal/insist game...?
I'm planning to go to Osaka for a week. I have a good friend in Osaka. I would love to stay with this friend at home, but i do not want to impose. i would like to test the water of my friend's feelings toward me staying there. if my friend does not want me to stay, i'll look up accomodations.
maybe i ask because i'm not so great with people in general since all my friends moved away when i was in middle school, but would any of you have suggestions for breaching the subject, polite refusal but not too much refusal; if my friend would be really excited to have me i want to accept at the right time in the refusal/insist game...?
- 10 Apr 2004
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- #73
It's very rare for Japanese to have house guests. In my case it was a little different because she had already stayed with my family. In your case, I would tell them about your trip and then give them a chance to offer, but don't ask. And if they do offer, don't stay too long. Good luck.
jspecdan
後輩
- 14 Aug 2003
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remember to knock on the bathroom door whether the light is on or off. sometimes japanese will just close the door and not lock it...my grandparents are such examples.
my brother told me that our grandparents (moved to our house after i left for Japan) will leave the bathroom door slightly open or just close it when in use...then they shut it close when they're not using it. usually you might leave the bathroom door slightly open when not in use and closed&locked when in use, right?!
i visited my relaltives during the summer and they don't lock the door when they take a bath or take a crap.
my brother told me that our grandparents (moved to our house after i left for Japan) will leave the bathroom door slightly open or just close it when in use...then they shut it close when they're not using it. usually you might leave the bathroom door slightly open when not in use and closed&locked when in use, right?!
i visited my relaltives during the summer and they don't lock the door when they take a bath or take a crap.
ax
後輩
- 27 May 2003
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When you enter the house, say 窶堋ｨﾅｽﾃ冷?凪?壺?堋ｵ窶堙懌?堋ｷﾂ。
interj. (Hira=窶堋ｨ窶堋ｶ窶堙｡窶堙懌?堋ｵ窶堙懌?堋ｷ) excuse me for disturbing, excuse me!, pardon me!
to which the owner of the house usually exclaimed:
窶堋｢窶堙≫?堙??堙ｧ窶堋ｵ窶堙｡窶堋｢ﾂ「itterashaiﾂ」
I use to find itterashai very difficult, because it means to go, to come, and to be as well. But to think about it more, that could be a economical to my words, I don't need to learn to go. to come, to be in Japanese, but just itterashai for everything.
窶堋ｶ窶堙｡ﾂ。ﾂ。ﾂ。窶堋｢窶堙≫?堙??堙ｧ窶堋ｵ窶堙｡窶堋｢ﾂ。
interj. (Hira=窶堋ｨ窶堋ｶ窶堙｡窶堙懌?堋ｵ窶堙懌?堋ｷ) excuse me for disturbing, excuse me!, pardon me!
to which the owner of the house usually exclaimed:
窶堋｢窶堙≫?堙??堙ｧ窶堋ｵ窶堙｡窶堋｢ﾂ「itterashaiﾂ」
I use to find itterashai very difficult, because it means to go, to come, and to be as well. But to think about it more, that could be a economical to my words, I don't need to learn to go. to come, to be in Japanese, but just itterashai for everything.
窶堋ｶ窶堙｡ﾂ。ﾂ。ﾂ。窶堋｢窶堙≫?堙??堙ｧ窶堋ｵ窶堙｡窶堋｢ﾂ。
