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Visiting a Japanese Home

Brooker

Anjin
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10 Apr 2004
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I will be taking a trip to Japan in a few months and will visit and stay at the home of my Japanese friend whose parents don't speak any English. I would like to know what I should remember to do/not do while I'm there and what polite phrases are useful while visiting a Japanese home. Can anyone help? :? Thanks. 🙂
 
never ever ever walk in to the house with your shoes on.. leave em where everyone else leaves their shoes..

that's basically just the most fundamental thing i can think of not having been there myself but having read aloooot on the habits and stuff ^^

everyone that replies in this topic should add that tho... it's just THAT important ;)

also, for the record, i envy you!
 
For One, Bring a gift, Nothing expensive or anything, just something to show your appreciation, maybe something from your home country they may find interesting, Next, if you did or did not know bathing is different in japan lol.. you wash yourself at a cleaning station then get in.. remember to never empty the water out because most likely the whole family will use that water for the rest of the day (there is a cover to keep heat in).. And Ofcourse there things you should already know like taking off your shoes (like TwistedMac said) and Not sticking your chopsticks upright in your bowl.. And Yeh.. I'll let others add what they have to say.. Have a fun time in japan.. and, just out of curiosity, is this a friend you knew personally ? Or you met as a pen pal or something ? Cuz I've always wanted to do a homestay.. Saves Alot of money.. lol
 
The book _Culture Shock: Japan_ is pretty good. If you're in the US, your library should have it or be able to get it for you.
 
Culture Shock: Japan is a good book, but it's still a bit ethnocentric towards Americans (ie, "we're better but don't let them know that" type of attitude through out the book). I work in a library, I'll see if I can find anything better than that one.
 
if they have slippers you wear into the bathroom wear them in the bathroom! also change back into your orginal pair of slippers or socks (if they dont have slippers) when you leave the bathroom. dont wear them around the house (they get really upset)
 
it's ok to slurp ramen or soba while eating, it's ok to pick up your rice bowl while eating, it's probably not ok to act like your favorite anime character while living there (I have seen this done before, to the shock-horror expressions of the people watching), and don't go overboard when buying gifts for people when you visit...
 
oh yeah and remember if you try to give a gift, they will refuse. Then you will insist, then they will refuse. This banter will go back and forth for a while but its normal.

If they offer you something of value, then you must refuse and banter and finally accept it - like its gold.

Oh and when you eat, try to keep your elbows off the table.

That's all I can think of.
 
"I work in a library, I'll see if I can find anything better than that one."
how about this one?
http://traveltoeasternasia.com/0804834172.html

personally, i wouldn't do it (to begin with), but that's because i have an incredible knack for doing the wrong thing (at the wrong time). sometimes/most times i'm surprised that i haven't been detained/deported *knocks on wood*
much luck is wished
 
I think when you first meet a family you say Hajimemashite, Yoroshiku Onegaishimasu! which means like im pleased to meet you and pls put me in your favor. you can also say Kudasai (please) Domo Arigatou (thanks much) and onaka sukimashita (im hungry) haha
im going to stay w a family too in tokyo starting this sept! im sooo excited!
 
"Just take it slow, follow their lead and act polite. Simple."
alright. tell me this. is it polite to blow one's nose with a handkerchief?
 
the Japanese take it as quite an embarassment to blow their noses in public. So I would say the answer is no!
 
There are many phrases I need to learn before I go. I think there's an important one that means something like, "I am inconveniencing you by entering" but I can't remember it.

I got in trouble once in Japan showing off the Japanese slang I knew to my new Japanese co-workers. They seemed more horrified than amused and I felt really stupid. I won't make that mistake again.
 
important terms to remember:

sumimasen - for anytime you think you might have done something wrong

wakarimasen - i don't understand

Also, when eating don't gulp everything down. I made that mistake and they stared at me like I was crazy. AKA try not to be a slob, which can be quite hard if you're anything like me.
 
jieshi said:
the Japanese take it as quite an embarassment to blow their noses in public. So I would say the answer is no!

Good Lord! What's the copyright date on the book you got that out of?
 
Talk with your mouth full of rice if some happens to fall out that`s alright. Don`t put your hand infront of your mouth when sneezing or coathing let it flow. If your nose has an itch pick it and remember to roll it! Remember to leave some food on the floor for the cockroches and mice. Don`t rinse your plates, class or chop sticks after your meal, leave them on the table they will be used for your next meals to come.

As for bathroom, same pair of slippers as around the house, if your aim isn`t good that`s alright the toilet might never get cleaned anyway. Oh remember to bring some paper toilet might not have any. I know I have none and my toilet doesn`t spray water either. If you forget to flush no worries.

As for taking a shower you might want to buy a stool might not have one, you can always squat while showering. Oh maybe bring a wash cloth or you can use the family brush.

Don`t plan on going to bed early even if you wake up at 6am, soccer screaming and arguing might go on till 2am. Also you might want to get a uchiwa since your room might not have air conditioning and a electronic fan uses to much electricity. Even though they have both in their room. Oh remember to buy some bug spray, them red ants can get annoying.

Make a quick stop at a Family Mart or Lawson to buy yourself some cup noodles or curry rice. Since you might loose your meal sometimes!

lol this was a little humor about my host family life experience even though it`s all true :p . I can`t see how all houses and people can be the same all around Japan so just act as yourself.
 
"What's the copyright date on the book you got that out of?"
for me, it was named "real life", with me as the author. want an isbn?
 
budd said:
"What's the copyright date on the book you got that out of?"
for me, it was named "real life", with me as the author. want an isbn?

I read the same book, buddy. And it don't say nothing 'bout no Japanese being embarassed 'bout blowing their noses....or pissing on the street....or opening their car doors and hawking up the grossest snotwads in the world...
 
I do know that blowing your nose is a little taboo. That doesn't mean that people never do it, but we don't want to copy the Japanese who have bad manners even by the standards of their own culture. :atchoo:
 
alright. tell me this. is it polite to blow one's nose with a handkerchief?

Nothing wrong with that, what do you think all the tissues you get out on the street are for? Now what you do with the used tissue is where it gets interesting.... :D
 
It is not appropriate to blow one's nose in public...do people do it? Yes, but try not to honk it on everyone around you! Japanese (except for children) are extremely uptight when it comes to making bodily noises...even if it is in the toilet! :D But of course things happen so don't worry too much.
 
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