Top Ten Comments Made by Sports Commentators ...

[Satori]

My apologies if this has been posted before (can't remember where I got it).

Top Ten comments made by sports commentators that they'd like to take back...

1. Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk Event: "This is Gregorian from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

3. Grand Prix Race Announcer: "The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical to the one in front of the similar one in back."

4. Greg Norman, Pro Golfer: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

5. Ringside Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing - but none of them really that serious."

6. Baseball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

 

[blessed]

haha, great quotes. My juvinile self obbviously prefered numbers 1 and 2.

 

[TwistedMac]

as perverted as i am, 4 & 5 gave me the best laughs XD

 

[Lina Inverse]

Those are great
I liked the first two the best, but the others are good as well.

 

[thereisnospoon]

I wish to lodge a formal complaint, the title says top TEN and there are only six.

 

[Satori]

Oh, that's right!! Now I remember where I found this -- at another forum, and we all said the same thing to the person who posted it!!! I don't think the poster ever did give us the remaining four. I just thought it was funny and copied it into my jokes folder. Gee, I can't believe I didn't even notice it when I posted it here! Sorry about that!!

 

[Glenn]

Well, I can offer a seventh:

Golf announcer: "He keeps gripping it too tight and it keeps squirting off to the left."

I couldn't believe my ears when I heard that one!

And an eighth, now that I think about it. On a Sunday night baseball broadcast of ESPN a few years ago:
Joe Morgan - "He was a dollar l-, I mean a day late and a dollar short."

A couple of minutes later:
Joe Morgan - "You can see that he was late on that fastball."
Jon Miller - "About a dollar, I'd say."

My dad and I were rolling on the floor in laughter after hearing that one! Talk about quick wits!

 

[Satori]

Well, I can offer a seventh:

Golf announcer: "He keeps gripping it too tight and it keeps squirting off to the left."

I couldn't believe my ears when I heard that one!

OMG, that's about as funny as this list I found on an equestrian site:

Things you can say ONLY at the horse stables ...

38 - is she a maiden??
37 - get him up in front of your leg.
36 - push him out with your inside leg.
35 - move him up off your leg.
34 - after you ride him, make sure you give him a bath.
33 - now, squeeze him UP into your hand with your thighs...
32 - smack him with your whip...YES! Make him buck and fart!
31 - use that whip.
30 - he's STUCK in my left hand!
29 - keep him between your legs.
28 - a few good smacks and he'll get going.
27 - ride him INTO your hand.
26 - look around the turns ... show him where you're going.
25 - sit back and PUSH.
24 - keep your hands low.
23 - that'll be a tight ride.
22 - ride FORWARD during that.
21 - more from behind.
20 - clean it quick before he sucks it back.
19 - smack him if he refuses!!
18 - he really over-reacts when i sit down into him.
17 - he bends to the left, but he's really stiff to the right.
16 - he's being a pig......get his head up.
15 - go Go GO!!!!
14 - push!!!!!
13 - he can be ridden twice in one day.
12 - go ahead, ride him. you'll like it ....he'll be good for you and teach you quite a bit.
11 - i rode yesterday, but Suzy's riding him today.
10 - if he's not ridden 5 days a week he gets cranky.
9 - when he gets excited he really foams up. :eek2:
8 - relax your back, don't pinch with your knees.....go with the motion....ROCK that pelvis!!
7 - he needs a good 20-minute warm-up.
6 - it was a great ride, but he's kinda sticky.
5 - she's only 5 but I still can't get her pregnant.
4 - more leg, less hand!!
3 - i'm gonna get off now....
2 - he won't come into my hands

AND THE #1 -

There's nothing like having 17 hands between your legs.

 

[jovial_jon]

Here are a few football quotes to hopefully tickle your funnybone!

-"Well, Clive, it's all about the two M's. Movement and positioning"
-"I tell you what, if the Cameroons get a goal back here they're literally gonna catch on fire"
-"My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7" - David Beckham.
-"Michael Owen - he's got the legs of a salmon"
-"The Spaniards have been reduced to aiming aimless balls into the box"
-"If Glenn Hoddle said one word to his team at half time, it was concentration and focus"
-"In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg"
-"For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all yellow strip"
-"And Ritchie has now scored 11 goals, exactly double the number he scored last season"
-"If you stand still there is only one way to go, and that's backwards"
-"The immortal Jackie Milburn died today"
-'Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.'
-'Sporting Lisbon in their green and white hoops, looking like a team of zebras.'
-'We must have had 99% of the game. It was the other three per cent that cost us the match.'
-'I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier.'
-'We lost because we didn't win.'

There's plenty more where that came from if you like 'em!

 

[Satori]

Those are really funny!!

And whoever said football players weren't intelligent or good at math! :eek2:

 

[Brooker]

jovial_jon wrote....

Here are a few football quotes to hopefully tickle your funnybone!

-"Well, Clive, it's all about the two M's. Movement and positioning"
-"I tell you what, if the Cameroons get a goal back here they're literally gonna catch on fire"
-"My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7" - David Beckham.
-"Michael Owen - he's got the legs of a salmon"
-"The Spaniards have been reduced to aiming aimless balls into the box"
-"If Glenn Hoddle said one word to his team at half time, it was concentration and focus"
-"In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg"
-"For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all yellow strip"
-"And Ritchie has now scored 11 goals, exactly double the number he scored last season"
-"If you stand still there is only one way to go, and that's backwards"
-"The immortal Jackie Milburn died today"
-'Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.'
-'Sporting Lisbon in their green and white hoops, looking like a team of zebras.'
-'We must have had 99% of the game. It was the other three per cent that cost us the match.'
-'I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier.'
-'We lost because we didn't win.'

There's plenty more where that came from if you like 'em!

BAHAWUUUHUUAAHHAA!! My *** has officially been laughed off. Gimme more!!

 

[Lina Inverse]

-'Sporting Lisbon in their green and white hoops, looking like a team of zebras.'

Green and white zebras!?
They shouldn't smoke that much crack all the time, then they'd see the real colors of a zebra

 

[Glenn]

Man, I'm sorry that I missed these earlier; they're great! I want more!

 

[cacawate]

TOP 10 AS SELECTED BY DUBYASPEAK VIEWERS

10. At this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly outta Ronald Reagan Airport.
9. Laura and I will thank them from the bottom of my heart.
8. When you have your own money, it means you've got more money to spend.
7. The benefits of helping somebody is beneficial.
6. We're in for a long struggle, and I think Texans understand that. And so do Americans.
5. Sometimes when I sleep at night I think of "Hop on Pop".
4. I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here.
3. And one of the things we've got to make sure that we do is anything.
2. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end.
1. Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.

From DubyaSpeak.com : : We record the damage.

 

[Satori]

TOP 10 AS SELECTED BY DUBYASPEAK VIEWERS

10. At this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly outta Ronald Reagan Airport.
9. Laura and I will thank them from the bottom of my heart.
8. When you have your own money, it means you've got more money to spend.
7. The benefits of helping somebody is beneficial.
6. We're in for a long struggle, and I think Texans understand that. And so do Americans.
5. Sometimes when I sleep at night I think of "Hop on Pop".
4. I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here.
3. And one of the things we've got to make sure that we do is anything.
2. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end.
1. Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.

From DubyaSpeak.com : : We record the damage.

Those are great! Some of them were even new to me.

If you want to read more Bushisms, there are more here:

Use the FAMOUS Bush quotes!!

Enjoy!!