Flashjeff
Pink Lady's Number #1 Fan
- 28 Dec 2003
- 2,585
- 77
A co-worker sent me this yesterday and I got a goodly number of chuckles from it, so I'm sharing this with all of you!
---Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?
---Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
---Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?
---Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
---How do a fool and his money GET together?
---Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?
---How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?
---If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation?
---If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
---If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
---If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
---What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
---What was the best thing before sliced bread?
---Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
---Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?
---If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
---If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
---What are Preparation A through Preparation G?
---In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
---Did Washington flash a quarter when asked for ID?
---How come there aren't B batteries?
---If the post office has machines that can sort snail mail at 1000's of times per minute, then why do they give it to a little old man on a bike to deliver?
---How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?
---Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars?
---Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
---How is it possible to have a civil war?
---If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
---If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
---If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
---Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
---If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
---Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime?
---How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
---How do you know that honesty is the best policy until you have tried some of the others?
---How do you throw away a garbage can?
---How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?
---How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
---Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
---If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
---If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
---What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
---Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
---Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8?
---Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
---Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
---Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
---Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?
---What if the Hokey Pokey IS what its all about?
---When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
---What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
---Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?
---Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
---Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?
---Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
---How do a fool and his money GET together?
---Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?
---How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?
---If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation?
---If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
---If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
---If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
---What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
---What was the best thing before sliced bread?
---Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
---Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?
---If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
---If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
---What are Preparation A through Preparation G?
---In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
---Did Washington flash a quarter when asked for ID?
---How come there aren't B batteries?
---If the post office has machines that can sort snail mail at 1000's of times per minute, then why do they give it to a little old man on a bike to deliver?
---How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?
---Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars?
---Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
---How is it possible to have a civil war?
---If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
---If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
---If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
---Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
---If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
---Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime?
---How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
---How do you know that honesty is the best policy until you have tried some of the others?
---How do you throw away a garbage can?
---How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?
---How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
---Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
---If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
---If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
---What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
---Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
---Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8?
---Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
---Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
---Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
---Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?
---What if the Hokey Pokey IS what its all about?
---When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
---What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
