Japanese term of endearment

[ax]

Is おくさん considered a term of endearment? What are the terms of endearment used by young as well as middle-aged Japanese? What about sexual term of endearment for private parts?
Do you think あそこ is a term of endearment?

アクス

 

[Emoni]

What about sexual term of endearment for private parts?
アクス

WOW, talk about a slight change in the question!

 

[goofy2feet]

I'd be interested to know the difference in usage between 奥さん（おくさん）、家内（かない）、妻（つま）

As for private parts, I am familiar with a few rude words, but nothing you could consider endearing.. though I tend to think チンチン sounds endearing, I don't know if it is.

Eigo-Japan Community Web-site - 英会話, Japanese, JLPT Kanji; polyglot bbs

 

[Elizabeth]

As for private parts, I am familiar with a few rude words, but nothing you could consider endearing.. though I tend to think チンチン sounds endearing, I don't know if it is.

They're usually summarized to me as 可愛い, I haven't asked if anyone else receives the same treatment -- it may be a word not appropriate for widespread use. And in the case of 彼処 (あそこ）, depending of course on your intonation and intent, it could be interpreted more as a euphemism than an actual endearment.....

 

[Elizabeth]

I'd be interested to know the difference in usage between : 奥さん（おくさん）、家内（かない）、妻（つま）

I think more and more younger Japanese are getting away from "okusan" and calling their own wives "tsuma" (and correspondingly wives to husbands become otto?). Kanai and shujin seem more modest to me and may be mostly used these days when referring socially to your own spouse in conversation or introductions or whatever.

 

[epigene]

I'd be interested to know the difference in usage between : 奥さん（おくさん）、家内（かない）、妻（つま）

Basically (meaning there are people, especially young guys, who don't), "okusan" is used to refer to the wife of a third party or the person you're talking to OR when talking to the woman who you think or know is married. （田中さんの奥さんがね・・・） （奥さん、今日はバナナが安いよ！）
"Kanai" and "tsuma" are used to refer to your own wife: （私の妻・私の家内）
"Tsuma" is also used to describe martial status in official documents and forms. The term 配偶者（はいぐうしゃ; spouse) is another term used in such cases.

I tend to think チンチン sounds endearing, I don't know if it is.

おチンチン may be endearing, when used refer to the reproductive organ of little boys. I can't think of anything "endearing" for little girls or BIG boys and girls...

 

[ax]

My dear GF told me that Japanese husband don't use any terms of endearment to their lesser half, they simply call them Omae or Oi, the best you could hear from Japanese man perhaps is Okasan.
And Japanese woman called their hubby, Otosan or Anata.

ax

 

[Elizabeth]

My dear GF told me that Japanese husband don't use any terms of endearment to their lesser half, they simply call them Omae or Oi, the best you could hear from Japanese man perhaps is Okasan.
And Japanese woman called their hubby, Otosan or Anata.

ax

Do you refer to the the highest honor of mother, okaasan ? If they have kids, perhaps....that was still common two generations removed in the US.
I know of at least one couple though that uses "kimi" with her returning the favor by appending "chan" to the first part of his name, so there may be more degrees of freedom than your GF is letting on.

Not that there is anything wrong with "omae" in this context (oi as in nephew ?)....although my boyfriend doesn't allow himself to be called him "anta" which is the natural counterpart.....may be that it's too familar or even disrespectful ?

 

[epigene]

Elizabeth,

It is common for a woman to call her husband あなた. A woman who calls her husband/boyfriend "anata" is usually angry. To me, calling a woman "kimi" sounds OK when you're just dating but sound aloof when married.

A man, especially of older generations, would call his wife おい or おーい, the term for calling people. Older men don't like to call their wives by name. This was common in the past but is becoming less frequent among younger couples. おまえ may be used, too, but I think when the husband's angry. (At least, I won't let my husband call me that!! :box: )

A married couple may also call each other by name and switch to お父さん and お母さん or パパ and ママ when they have kids. (We call each other "otosan" and "okaasan.")

 

[GaijinPunch]

Not at my house. My wife calls me by my name if I'm lucky. I think the general standing for a family with children is for everyone to be called by their title. Mother = お母さん, Father お父さん, Eldest sibling either お姉ちゃん or お兄さん、ばあちゃん、じいちゃん for the grandparents. This was pretty much the way it was at my house when my parents were referred to by another parent, to the kids, but you could hear them call each other by their first names occasional, or perhaps a profanity from time to time.

I've never been in a room alone w/ the two Japanese parents w/o them knowing I'm there to comment on the name thing when they're alone. This could be tested like the tree making a sound if nobody is there to hear.

 

[Elizabeth]

Elizabeth,

It is common for a woman to call her husband あなた. A woman who calls her husband/boyfriend "anata" is usually angry. To me, calling a woman "kimi" sounds OK when you're just dating but sound aloof when married.

家族の呼び方は、それぞれの家庭で違うのですね。
That's an interesting distinction, though, between wives and girlfriends.... I'll be interested to learn whether this particular couple uses terms in other situations besides chan and kimi....all I know now is that they never argue or let any ill feelings progress very far and speak in a relatively formal desu/masu style.

I read somewhere as well that 'oi omae!' was more the cultural equivalent of a severe reprimand or "tough sounding" expression than simply omae, but at least I'm safe with "anata" and "kimi" is alright for now. Although he is mostly unconscious of his own arrogance, of course it isn't that unusual among Japanese men....

 

[ragedaddy]

How about when referring to your wife, 内の奥さん はどう? I have been told that おまえ isn't necessarily a bad meaning (It is if you use it to total strangers or acquaintances), but if you used it with like your wife, it means basically "My Girl," which represents that you guys no doubt have a close relationship. That's what I have heard, but whether it's absolutely correct. I know a lot of the Japanese guys on my ski team at school referred to many of the girls as おまえ. How about women referring to their husbands as あんた, isn't that about the same as あなた, but maybe more affectionate?

 

[Elizabeth]

How about when referring to your wife, 内の奥さん はどう? I have been told that おまえ isn't necessarily a bad meaning (It is if you use it to total strangers or acquaintances), but if you used it with like your wife, it means basically "My Girl," which represents that you guys no doubt have a close relationship. That's what I have heard, but whether it's absolutely correct. I know a lot of the Japanese guys on my ski team at school referred to many of the girls as おまえ. How about women referring to their husbands as あんた, isn't that about the same as あなた, but maybe more affectionate?

あんた」「お前」も状況によっては許される場合があります。

 

[epigene]

「あんた」「お前」も状況によっては許される場合があり ます。

Yes, you're right! Everything depends on the parties involved--and probably on their background.

How I feel about the terms comes from the fact that I belong to the 50+ Club

Also, うちの奥さん is used commonly by many Japanese, but it's actually wrong. "Okusan" is a term of respect to a married woman and therefore should not be used on your own wife (based on the Japanese rule of humility). Maybe many husbands today are henpecked??

 

[Elizabeth]

Yes, you're right! Everything depends on the parties involved--and probably on their background.

How I feel about the terms comes from the fact that I belong to the 50+ Club

Also, うちの奥さん is used commonly by many Japanese, but it's actually wrong. "Okusan" is a term of respect to a married woman and therefore should not be used on your own wife (based on the Japanese rule of humility). Maybe many husbands today are henpecked??

It is interesting that there aren't two references like there are for men (goshujin, shujin) -- I was never able to understand if that was showing an elevated level of respect to your own wife or other married women.

But one more thing on anta, is "anta saa" used for summoning someone "Hey you come here...." a phrase without any of the negativity of "anta" alone or are they pretty much the same in nuance ? Or does it just depend on the speakers intonation and social relationships....

 

[epigene]

Elizabeth,

If I hear someone say "anta saa..", I would immediately think the person is either angry or vulgar. However, it actually is heavily dependent on how it is said (in intonation, as you pointed out). I have heard it being said affectionately between a couple in a TV drama...

In our home, my husband is very fussy about language and insists on using polite language even in privacy. So, it has become very natural for me. Maybe I am more easily offended than others...

 

[Elizabeth]

In our home, my husband is very fussy about language and insists on using polite language even in privacy. So, it has become very natural for me. Maybe I am more easily offended than others...

My boyfriend does most of the time as well, even in email....he says it is buji, or safe, which in a way I sort of understand....but not really. :sorry: except that he seems like a very sensitive guy as well.

 

[Cryptnotic]

無事 or 蕪辞 hahaha

Anyway, I was taught that 奥さん is honorific and つま is humble. So you use 奥さん to refer to your boss's wife and つま to refer to your own. I don't know much about 家内 except that I remember another American student of Japanese being horribly offended by the word. I thought it was funny. Now I associate 家内 with はだかエプロン (笑う).

 

[Elizabeth]

Basically (meaning there are people, especially young guys, who don't), "okusan" is used to refer to the wife of a third party or the person you're talking to OR when talking to the woman who you think or know is married. （田中さんの奥さんがね・・・） （奥さん、今日はバナナが安いよ！）

The complement of this I usually hear is "otto" for the husband of a third party, and "shujin" for one's own husband. Although I think "watashi no otto"
or "uchi no otto" may even be more common than "shujin," especially among feminists or younger women.