Internet Dating Services

[sandoro]

the real purpose

if you want to settle down,
one day will happen anyway.
of course now we live in a different age, so internet may work for you too, like i said on my previous post, is working for me as only for meeting, but i have not found the right one.
it seems to me that your biyological clock is ticking, man too have that don't they?

 

[hamutha]

if you want to settle down,
one day will happen anyway.
of course now we live in a different age, so internet may work for you too, like i said on my previous post, is working for me as only for meeting, but i have not found the right one.
it seems to me that your biyological clock is ticking, man too have that don't they?

uhmm....but i think that's where it started from....the meeting can be the greatest way to find the right one. It's worthy for u to try, right?

 

[sandoro]

uhmm....but i think that's where it started from....the meeting can be the greatest way to find the right one. It's worthy for u to try, right?

OF COURSE IT IS,
NOT TRYING WILL END UP IN NOTHING.

 

[hamutha]

Yoshhh !!!
ganbatte ne, Mikawa Ossan

 

[Mikawa Ossan]

the important thing is the girl has marriage and having children as her goal for meeting and dating. Avoid the superficial interest and go for the heavy hitters who are serious about settleing down.
Frank
☝

Ah, this is part of the equation!

The best part of the nakoudo service is that everyone using it has the same endgame in mind: marriage. The thing about pen pal, etc. services that I worry about is the same thing that I have problems with in normal life. Namely, although I don't want to rush into marriage with someone I newly meet, I want it to be on the table as a possible outcome from the start.

So far I am good at meeting people who want to,...shall we say "play", but are not even considering anything else.

But I agree with sandoro. I suppose the kind of people you attract on an internet based approach depends entirely on what you write.

I'll be looking into all this more this weekend! I'll keep you posted on any new discoveries I make!

 

[hamutha]

Mikawa Ossan In Actioon !!
can't wait the next news...

be cool , calm and don't be to rushy... that will confince your date that u aren't the "play person"....

 

[Flashjeff]

Well, in any event, good luck to you, Mikawa. Please keep us posted on your progress.

 

[Tsuyoiko]

I don't want to put you off Mikawa, but I watched an episode of the X-Files yesterday about a murderer who procures his victims through internet dating services. The caught him in the end though, so you're probably OK

 

[sandoro]

you just have to try,
try does not hurt you,
there are quite alot of online dating which you have to pay, i never registered on them, so i would not know, but as i said on my previous post on line pen pal, works for me, atleast just to have dates.

 

[Kinsao]

Hmmm, I've never used an internet dating service, and I wouldn't consider it.
But on the other hand, I wouldn't consider using 'dating service' of any sort.
I just think that you are more likely to meet someone you can be good friend and partner together with, if you meet them 'naturally' during the course of both doing your hobbys or whatever. Because that way at least you share one thing in common. I know that dating services try and match people on their interests, but... somehow it isn't the same thing. Because someone using a dating service, that must mean they had some trouble already to find a partner. Why? I wonder...

It can work for some people, but... I still wouldn't try it.

I wouldn't mind meeting for real, someone I met over the internet, though, if it wasn't off a dating site but off some mutual interest site like sports website or music website, because in that circumstance, actually you get to know the person in a similar way than if you met them at the local sport club (for example); the net is just a new way of communication that is presently a bit uncharted, so the netiquette isn't quite defined yet. But that seems to me an online equivalent of 'natural' way of meeting someone, rather than proactively going to a dating site.

But whatever way, if you go for 'blind date' you have to be careful.

 

[AudreyC]

Mikawa-san,

Internet match make site seem highly successful as my friend recently got married by using such a service . Demo, he had to pay $2000.

If you do not want to pay, then register with some site for friends or pen friends. But be careful as some sites are not really for friendship but mainly for members who wants causal sex. Anyway, I always thought it was pretty easy to meet someone in Japan ... I heard there's a lot of informal match make parties organised by friends.

I think every relationship starts from being interested to know more about the other person ... and that's like making friends.

Well, it's good to know that the clock is ticking for both men & women.

Mikawa-san -- good luck !

 

[Rich303]

Hello peeps, sorry I've not been around for a while.

From my experience I think it can go either way.
Relationships started through online dating services can fail or succeed just the same as ones via 'traditional' methods.
I met my first penpal on 'japan-guide' (I made it clear that I was interested in romance). After nearly a year (including me visiting her in Japan)it turned out she was more interested in my parents' house in Spain.
I met my current GF on 'JFriends' (she was in London at the time), and that was a bit more successful, but now I think that is on it's way out.
Quite early on, she was saying I was her 'soulmate', love letters, sexy emails, making me origami hearts in a restaurant in Japan and saying she loved me - the lot.
Slowly she became more and more distacted while we were using Messenger and emails became shorter and shorter. Now it's virtually finished. I guess sometimes it can be hard to sustain things over a long distance.(+ she has a busy job and a kid), but feelings can change if you live in the same street, let alone half way round the world from each other.
She still says she misses me and whatever, but sometimes actions speak louder than words. Sometimes I worry she just wants help to settle in the UK.
I don't really know what is going on in her life, or her head.
But hey, give it a go. I think the problem for me is distance, not the fact that we met online.
Good luck, Rich

 

[Pachipro]

Long time no see! Welcome back Rich. I was wondering what happened to you.

Yes you are correct, actions do speak louder than words. I wondering if she was looking for a "sugar daddy" to help raise her kid?

If one is really in love, is secure about themselves and you, distance should not pose a problem

 

[AudreyC]

Hi Rich, I agree that distance relationships are hard to mantain. I think both parties need to work at it to keep it going. Being busy is not a good excuse if you really want to make it work and are sincere about being with that person.

But the distance could play a major part in casting doubts over the other person feeling especially if he/she does not make an effort to keep in touch. One needs to be really sure about each other's feeling ( & confident ) to make long distance relationship works.

I met someone on my business meeting overseas and we have been having a long distance relationship for 3 years now. We communicated via emails and I go to Japan sometimes to visit him. Lately, the emails from him are shorter & shorter and his reason is that he is busy with work. Well, I am busy too but ... it just shows a lack of effort. Anyway, I do not think our distance relationship will last ... it may just die out naturally with lack of communication.

Anyway, I think one should try all ways / means to look for someone be it thro' the internet, match make agencies or just be joining activities or be out there to meet people. And, one should make effort if one is sincere about making the relationship works.

Ganbatte to all who is seeking the other half !

 

[godppgo]

my question is:
Do you have any experience with internet dating services?
What do you think of them? Are they worth the bother?
And, do you have any advice for using them?

Mikawa Ossan,

The reason why you're asking these questions means you have doubt in internet dating (it could be you aren't sure about the kind of people who uses internet dating service, or you care about what people think if you tell them you found your the other half from the internet, I don't know and it's all my speculation). I might be wrong but if it's other people's opinion that worries you then I suggest having yourself mentally prepared before you jump into the internet dating service. Ask yourself are you willing to openly discuss and share your internet dating experience with others (no, people like us on the internet don't count). If the answer is yes then do it by all means.

Okay here's my opinion on internet dating service. I think using internet to find a potential gf or wife is a great idea. However, internet should ceased to be the primary communication method once you've know each other. I don't think you can get to really know a person just by using internet. If it's long distance right from the beginning then it will be difficult (not impossible tho).
Anyways, hope everything goes well for you and good luck!!

p.s. what I've said are backed up by my personal experience.

 

[Mikawa Ossan]

Mikawa Ossan,
The reason why you're asking these questions means you have doubt in internet dating (it could be you aren't sure about the kind of people who uses internet dating service, or you care about what people think if you tell them you found your the other half from the internet, I don't know and it's all my speculation).

Actually, I asked because I had no information about them, and I like to gather information before trying new, so as to make an informed choice.

Other people's opinions matter only in so far as to the extent that said people have experience with the subject at hand.

For example, I personally know that buying tickets at JR from an employee is safe and accurate. However, I would much rather buy tickets from a machine instead, because I think that it generally runs smoother that way. This is based on experience.

This is the kind of thing I'm asking. The advice I was looking for was actually dealing with the nuts and bolts of the whole thing, and if anyone would recommend one company over another. That kind of thing.

Okay here's my opinion on internet dating service. I think using internet to find a potential gf or wife is a great idea. However, internet should ceased to be the primary communication method once you've know each other. I don't think you can get to really know a person just by using internet. If it's long distance right from the beginning then it will be difficult (not impossible tho).
Anyways, hope everything goes well for you and good luck!!
p.s. what I've said are backed up by my personal experience.

Well, I agree with you completely.

I promised to keep everyone informed, but unfortunately, it is not proving to be all that easy. Suffice it to say that I have not been idle, and I appreciate all the support shown for me so far. Thank you!

 

[Kinsao]

Aww... I hope your luck turns better soon, Mikawa...!

 

[Rich303]

Thanks Audrey (and Pachipro - see PM),

I certainly don't understand my GF anymore. If you don't really care about someone, why keep them hanging on?
I try to rationalise things (her job, kid etc), but she has always had this in her life, so I think it is just excuses. The only time we chat at length is about her visa, me helping her find work in UK, or problems.
I appreciate it should not always be 'love talk', but sometimes I need this.
I know I can be 100% faithful to her, but what's the point of me breaking my heart over this woman? I have plenty of friends, but this situation is making me feel lonely and taken for granted.
Maybe I expect too much from her, but a Valentine's card would have been nice! - even if she has things going on in her life.

I don't want a nasty ending, like I had with my penpal, so maybe I should just let it fade away.

 

[Rich303]

I think using internet to find a potential gf or wife is a great idea. However, internet should ceased to be the primary communication method once you've know each other. I don't think you can get to really know a person just by using internet. If it's long distance right from the beginning then it will be difficult (not impossible tho).

I think this is the best piece of advice on this thread.

When I was physically with my GF it was good - we met within days of making contact on JFriends/ World Friends. It was OK when she went home because I new I would be seeing her soon. We were on Messenger all the time, some phone calls and emails. Then I visited her in Japan in october - still very, very good.
But since then, distance and her busy schedule seems to be killing it. Because we don't chat as much, and when we do she is often preoccupied, the connection is just getting weaker. It causes doubt and makes me think a lot of it is just excuses. This is just my experience, I know that some people can make it work, but I think you need a strong bond in the first place.

You cannot tell a person's true feelings via the internet
Like godppgo says, you should just use it as a starting point.

 

[Yokan]

hmm... I don't know, I'm sort of undecided on this topic. You know people can be totally different online to what they are offline. My ex was sort of like that, and at one time I would consider myself like that too lol. But now I'm not, i just act myself as much as I would offline.

I think using internet to find a potential gf or wife is a great idea. However, internet should ceased to be the primary communication method once you've know each other. I don't think you can get to really know a person just by using internet.

that coincides with my opinion, I think.

 

[cursore]

I'm still wondering why people have to use a computer for meeting people...

 

[Davey]

I'm still wondering why people have to use a computer for meeting people...

because for some people it is not so easy, as for you

 

[Flashjeff]

because for some people it is not so easy, as for you

So true, Dutch! For some, especially shy people or those unwilling to bother with the bar/night club scene, I would imagine, it's easier way to meet. In any event, for an ugly fart like me, it would be impossible either way! HA!

 

[Kinsao]

I'm still wondering why people have to use a computer for meeting people...

Well, I used to think that people who used a computer for meeting people (I mean for dating) were for some reason unable to socialise very well in 'real life'... (therefore making them a bad prospect! lol...)

Actually my view hasn't changed very much, but I have kind of added to it:
People who are really insanely busy and have no time for socialising (usually because they are always working).
People who are kept socially isolated for a reason outside their control, such as their job (similar to above, but could include geographical location, working hours and other things).
People who want 'convenience shopping' for a date: i.e. to be able to 'pick out the best match' from the comfort of their own home, looking at the person's profile, interests etc.
People who try it out of curiosity, to 'see if it works'.

Meeting someone off an online dating service would be no cop-out, I would imagine, because after all, if you're going to date them, you'll have to meet them for real at some time or other!

 

[Mikawa Ossan]

Well, I said I'd keep you informed, so here I am!

I had met a girl through Jref who I got pretty excited about. She was fun to chat to, and we met, but as I am wont to do, I messed it up completely. (If anyone knows who I am talking about, please DO NOT post who it is.)

I also had a "blind date" of sorts independantly from the aforementioned. That went pretty poorly, too. I couldn't leave soon enough, although I am very thankful to my friend for trying hard and setting it up.

So I have just signed up to a dating site on the internet. A free one. One that asked for very little personal information. My favorite kind of site!

So I continue to try. ﾅｽﾂｵ窶彎窶堙鯛?敖ｪ窶ｹN窶堋ｫ