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internet love

Buddha Smoker

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I kind of lost track with the rash of posts but has anybody had one of the internet relationships work out yet? Example that lead to marriage? or something just close to that?
 

kirei_na_me

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When the internet first started becoming popular about 9-10 years ago, I met an ex boyfriend of mine on a BBS. We talked for a couple of months online and then talked on the phone for another couple of months, and then he decided to move from Oklahoma to North Carolina, where I was. It lasted about a year and then I broke it off. I swore he was going to be the one. I was only 19 when it ended. In my opinion, that's way young to start taking relationships so seriously.
 

dreamer

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kirei_na_me said:
I was only 19 when it ended. In my opinion, that's way young to start taking relationships so seriously.
lol A friend of mines got married at 18 and her kid will be 2 years old in november
 

Buddha Smoker

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kirei_na_me said:
When the internet first started becoming popular about 9-10 years ago, I met an ex boyfriend of mine on a BBS. We talked for a couple of months online and then talked on the phone for another couple of months, and then he decided to move from Oklahoma to North Carolina, where I was. It lasted about a year and then I broke it off. I swore he was going to be the one. I was only 19 when it ended. In my opinion, that's way young to start taking relationships so seriously.

So far, the answer is still no, huh? :D
 

kirei_na_me

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Well, that happens a lot here too, dreamer. I know girls who had babies when they were 14-16. It happens all the time, unfortunately. I remember in the 9th grade(14 years old), we had a baby shower for one of our classmates... ☝

I got pregnant when I was 20, and then got married and had the baby when I was 21. My oldest son was born 2 months after we got married. Still way too young!

Buddha Smoker said:
So far, the answer is still no, huh? :D

That was a 'no' in a roundabout kind of way... :p
 

Buddha Smoker

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kirei_na_me said:
Well, that happens a lot here too, dreamer. I know girls who had babies when they were 14-16. It happens all the time, unfortunately. I remember in the 9th grade(14 years old), we had a baby shower for one of our classmates... ☝

I got pregnant when I was 20, and then got married and had the baby when I was 21. My oldest son was born 2 months after we got married. Still way too young!



That was a 'no' in a roundabout kind of way... :p

Yeah, but it was a nice story.. :D
 

sadakoyamamura

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Wouter said:
So I'm really dying of anticipation to see her. But I'll have to wait a little less than three months. I think it will be hard, but I will persist if it depends on me. When I think about it, three months isn't that long...

When you finally meet her, try not to get too giddy and rush into things. I think that in anything one must use the heart and the head. People do tend to behave differently in person. Be prepared to know things about her that you may not like in a person because sometimes we have notions or expectations about what the other person will be like and then they get shattered because we thought wrong... :)

Wouter said:
Do you think it's foolish to fall in love with someone who you have never met before?

Buddha Smoker said:
I kind of lost track with the rash of posts but has anybody had one of the internet relationships work out yet? Example that lead to marriage? or something just close to that?

I don't think it's foolish to falling for someone you've never met. I met my boyfriend through somewhat similar circumstances, this is our 4th year together... 👍 A former professor met her American hubby through the internet. 😄

All in all I wish you and your girl the best...

PS: Has she signed up here? :)
 

dreamer

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kirei_na_me said:
Well, that happens a lot here too, dreamer. I know girls who had babies when they were 14-16. It happens all the time, unfortunately. I remember in the 9th grade(14 years old), we had a baby shower for one of our classmates... ☝

I got pregnant when I was 20, and then got married and had the baby when I was 21. My oldest son was born 2 months after we got married. Still way too young!
Lol well My mom told me that most of my family (grand fathers/mothers and grand grand fathers/mothers) got married pretty early ^^
She said it was about when they were 12-16, but the weddings back then were organized lol however I'm getting this feeling that people tend to get married later...(my late cousin got married at 26 and one of my father's relatives got married at 32)
 

Wouter

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sadakoyamamura said:
When you finally meet her, try not to get too giddy and rush into things. I think that in anything one must use the heart and the head. People do tend to behave differently in person. Be prepared to know things about her that you may not like in a person because sometimes we have notions or expectations about what the other person will be like and then they get shattered because we thought wrong... :)





I don't think it's foolish to falling for someone you've never met. I met my boyfriend through somewhat similar circumstances, this is our 4th year together... 👍 A former professor met her American hubby through the internet. 😄

All in all I wish you and your girl the best...

PS: Has she signed up here? :)

Thank you for your advice 🙂 I really wish you and your boyfriend a very good time together!
and no she's not signed up here at this board.
 

Winter

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I am in a relationship that started out online, and her and myself are engaged right now.

Its not to say that I havent had countless failures in relationships though. But some do work out.
 

Buddha Smoker

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sadakoyamamura said:
I don't think it's foolish to falling for someone you've never met. I met my boyfriend through somewhat similar circumstances, this is our 4th year together... 👍 A former professor met her American hubby through the internet. 😄

I'm not saying it's foolish because I would think the internet would be a good place to plan the first date then establish something from there. But, an "internet relationship" especially long distance....I haven't seen too many work and honestly not one comes to mind yet.
 

aaronmcgrath

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I didnt plan to be anything with my girl, i fell in love, and she did too.
both of us have changed a lot. We have been through many tests.
i am prepared to spend the rest of my life with her.
Well i am 18...to young right? Well my mum met my dad when she was 16, got married at 19. I plan be with her over the next few years, it will be hard...i know, as we are in different countries, but we are both prepared to do it.
for example, I see her in september for a month, then jan & feb & March, then july, Then September, then I go there in January and do my uni there for a year, then she promised me she would come here the following year.

The last 2 years will be easy, because same country. But before i go there, i will be hard, like it is now... :(
but, i can trust her. And she can trust me.

I dont care about the whole internet thing....i dont care what anyone thinks, i love her and thats it.

It's just hard sometimes.....
 

Buddha Smoker

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rinawoaishiteiru said:
I dont care about the whole internet thing....i dont care what anyone thinks, i love her and thats it.

It's just hard sometimes.....

Good! After all, it's all up to you in the end anyway. Everything is just opinions and there is always hope when there is none.
 

sadakoyamamura

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Buddha Smoker said:
But, an "internet relationship" especially long distance....I haven't seen too many work and honestly not one comes to mind yet.

I agree. You have to meet each other some time you know. It's the personal bonding thing. How could you possibly know what to like and dislike (about each other) without having met each other? I agree that a relationship needs hardwork. Last night, I told him: You know, I never realized how challenging it is to be with another person until I met you and I'm still up for more challenges! :)

To Wouter: Do Itaishimasu! 🙂
 

nekosasori

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Mine's still working out...

Buddha Smoker said:
I kind of lost track with the rash of posts but has anybody had one of the internet relationships work out yet? Example that lead to marriage? or something just close to that?

Been married over 3.5 years now... so far so good. 👍 😌
 

Buddha Smoker

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nekosasori said:
Been married over 3.5 years now... so far so good. 👍 😌

So you guys met on the net? Can we have some minor details, I don't want to get too personal if you don't want to talk about it?
 
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I am in love with a girl I met on the internet too * 😍 *
I plan to go there (Lille in France) this winter to see her personnally.
But like I already know , it would be really difficult because both of us are extremely shi in real life 😌

I want go far with this relationship!
Because I love challenges and love her 😍



Well......My first real challenge was to learn japanese ^^
 

nekosasori

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Buddha Smoker said:
So you guys met on the net? Can we have some minor details, I don't want to get too personal if you don't want to talk about it?

Minor details like what? :eek:

I already had made a post on the first page of this thread - but specific questions will not be ignored if you pose them. 🙂
 

Keiichi

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I think he means stuff like how did it work out. What did you guys do that worked that many people who met over the net had a hard time getting to work. :redface:
 

nekosasori

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Well, how does any relationship work? The internet is just one more venue where people can meet compatible potential partners; each relationship regardless of where or how the couple meet has the same obstacles and challenges, no?

I think what made my situation work out was the following:

1) Neither of us were looking to date anyone - we were both happy and fulfilled individuals, content with singlehood. We met via a general discussion list hosted at www.intp.org (although I've always been an INTJ, really) and had taken a couple of topics off-list to debate.
2) We were both old enough to know what we could and couldn't live with, regarding our partner's traits. Admittedly my husband waited much longer until he found someone he really wanted to be committed to - he was 36 and I 24 when we met.
3) We are self-aware, honest people with solid communication skills and a willingness to work out and permanently resolve problems instead of letting them fester. This meant that misunderstandings were minimized and potential deal-breaker situations never escalated to the point where they became crises.
4) I never imagined that I would even consider marrying someone, so I was surprised that I was so happy with my husband. We didn't wed out of negative feelings or fears.

I don't think that relationships formed via internet are any more difficult than any long-distance ones. Or real-life, local ones for that matter - doesn't the success rate of conventional relationships only seem higher because so many more happen around us (so that percentage wise they might be on par with internet ones)? I'd want to read a large-scale research report rather than rely on anecdotal evidence before forming a conclusion that net-based relationships are any less successful than real-life relationships that are or become long-distance, at the least.
 

RockLee

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Al I can say is

Huraay for internet!!!Without it Life would be very boring !! 😊
 

aaronmcgrath

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:D that gives me hope!

i accidently went to some site one day, it was like aus - japan penpals.
i felt like i would post my email addy, this girl replied.
we talked a lot we were friends
then good friends
then best friends
then lovers
we aim to be together in the end, we can only see eachother once every few months now...long-distance sucks!! but i know we will do it because we love eachother :)

We try to for get that its long distance...i mean we still talk every day, internet, phone whatever.

i think it comes down to, are you willing to wait for her? and are you prepared to make a sacrifice if you need to?

YES!!
 

Buddha Smoker

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nekosasori said:
Minor details like what? :eek:

I already had made a post on the first page of this thread - but specific questions will not be ignored if you pose them. 🙂

Sorry, I didn't notice so closely the first time but also you tested the relationship with 3 weeks together. I think that cancelled the whole internet thing out and marked it as a meeting place...know what I mean?
 

nekosasori

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...But BuSmo, that line to be drawn (where the internet ceases to be the main venue for getting to know people, and the real-life interaction begins) is fuzzy. How long someone feels safe, contented, or comfortable with keeping to virtual meetings (e.g. not taking the next step) varies greatly by individual and by the dynamics of the relationship. But for any relationship, virtual or real-life, to become "serious", I suspect most folks would agree that the couple has to take a meaningful amount of time to spend in person to learn more about each other's spontaneous reactions, and their interpersonal "chemistry" etc.

So I'm not clear, actually, on what you mean by "cancelled the whole internet thing" - clearly if the "internet thing" hadn't been productive enough, we'd never have agreed to create those tests and real-life meetings in the first place.
 
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