How, How, How?

[Fantt]

Duo, I never suggested that you look for someone you're not attracted to. Look at my list of questions. If, after a date you feel no attraction to someone, then move on. My point is, that if you're trying to break into the dating game, the best way to do it is to remove all of your pre-conceived notions of what you want and just date. Meet girls. Talk to girls. Be comfortable with girls. Have fun with girls. After enough iterations, you'll meet the right person. My point is, unless you're a major extrovert and meeting people isn't any big deal for you, that the best way to get started meeting women is to just start. Don't block yourself off with thoughts like, "Ewww, I can't go out with her, she's ugly!" Just go out with her! No one said you have to fall in love and get married. Just have the experience.

The point isn't to settle. The point is to find the right person. If you're only interested in meeting the right person within very narrow parameters of physical attractiveness or whatever, you're shortchanging yourself and making your task much more difficult.

I'm also talking about dating for the purpose of finding someone to have a meaningful relationship with. If you're solely interested in sex, you can find a ***** or some skanky girl at a bar.

 

[lexico]

um although i guess u have good intentions and although this worked out for u, i dont think the message is very good. Basically ur just sayin just settle for someone but i donna i mean that's takin the easy way out i guess, and about ur friend, maybe he just is lookin for his woman, i mean he shouldnt have to settle for someone that he is not attracted 2, that would be just a lie and just a way to aquisce to society's weird unspoken rules

I respect you ideas. In fact, I think at one point I might have thought that myself....
I think what Fantt is trying to say is to be natural; about both yourself and the "mysterious & unknowable" other. Having "absolutely no idea" about the other sex, or the person of the opposite sex, how would one find out?
It's probably different from using someone just for the fun. Not saying it's not fun.....I'm going round in cirlces, ain't I!
But you do have a point. Could lead to uncomfortable situations. Be ready to get hurt!

 

[Duo]

i think fantt and I are saying different things, im just saying that you shouldnt have to settle for someone, like go out or have a relationship with a person you are not really attracted to, whereas fanntt is saying that people should stop having extremely high expecations and to be more open to possible candidates, whereas i was just sayin that in my view going out or having a relationship with someone that deeply u dont like, is not a good thing . Hope i cleared things up

 

[Fantt]

Heck, I wouldn't want anyone to go out with someone they don't like. But, I'm not sure you can make up your mind if you like someone or not until you are exposed to them.

 

[Lina Inverse]

I really don't see what should be so much better about Japanese girls than non-Japanese girls? ☝ :?

 

[Dream Time]

I have a friend who's the same way. She WILL NOT lower her standards(as far as looks go) and it's getting ridiculous. She's my age and has never had a serious relationship with anyone. Not that there's something wrong with that, but she complains about it. All she wants is a "hot" guy. It's like she doesn't care about anything else. And you know what? She wants this HOT guy, but she's not very hot herself. I'm afraid that in 30 years, she'll still be complaining she's lonely when we're both 58 years old...and she'll still be looking for a HOT guy. She just does not have her priorities in the right order.

some guys who only wants HOT girls...they don't get a serious relationship until like 30 something...and they get someone whos the opposite of HOT

 

[Duo]

To me western girls are the best, not just looking wise, well obviously there is a bias here, but since i have grown up mostly around them, there is cultural connection there, we know wat to expect from each other. I guess asian girls are intruguing, but i don't know i don't see what all this fuss is all about. There exeptional beauties from the shores of the mediterranean to the snowfields of scandinavia that no asian girl can out do