Hello everyone,
I'm new to this forum, glad to meet you all!
To go straight to the point, I wrote a little song in Japanese some years ago... and I would like to record the song now but I'm pretty sure the lyrics are full of mistakes. Could someone tell me what my mistakes are and what changes could be made to enhance the lyrics ?
Thank you in advance for your help and try not be shocked by my poor grammar ^^'.
Here are the lyrics with what I wanted to say in english:
明日 // Tomorrow
もう一度 // Once again
どうしよう ? // How to do ?
世界の手は世界の上に閉じた // The world has closed its hand on the world
後先の無闇な仕業に考えず // Without thinking to the consequences of the foolish acts
天使は天の中に泣きはらす // The angel weeps in paradise
花弁は空の中に舞う // The petals dance in the sky
不在の中に、世界の手は自身の上に閉じた // In the absence, the world has closed its hand on itself
私は見上げる // I look up
信じられない // I can't believe it
天使は天の中に泣きはらす // The angel weeps in paradise
私の星、ここに残って下さい // My star, please stay here
明日 // Tomorrow
もう一度 // Once again
天使は天の中に泣きはらす // The angel weeps in paradise
全ての白い服を着て // All dressed up in white
天使は天の中に泣きはらす // The angel weeps in paradise
堕天使は辺の中に泣きはらす // The fallen angel weeps near
I'm new to this forum, glad to meet you all!
To go straight to the point, I wrote a little song in Japanese some years ago... and I would like to record the song now but I'm pretty sure the lyrics are full of mistakes. Could someone tell me what my mistakes are and what changes could be made to enhance the lyrics ?
Thank you in advance for your help and try not be shocked by my poor grammar ^^'.
Here are the lyrics with what I wanted to say in english:
明日 // Tomorrow
もう一度 // Once again
どうしよう ? // How to do ?
世界の手は世界の上に閉じた // The world has closed its hand on the world
後先の無闇な仕業に考えず // Without thinking to the consequences of the foolish acts
天使は天の中に泣きはらす // The angel weeps in paradise
花弁は空の中に舞う // The petals dance in the sky
不在の中に、世界の手は自身の上に閉じた // In the absence, the world has closed its hand on itself
私は見上げる // I look up
信じられない // I can't believe it
天使は天の中に泣きはらす // The angel weeps in paradise
私の星、ここに残って下さい // My star, please stay here
明日 // Tomorrow
もう一度 // Once again
天使は天の中に泣きはらす // The angel weeps in paradise
全ての白い服を着て // All dressed up in white
天使は天の中に泣きはらす // The angel weeps in paradise
堕天使は辺の中に泣きはらす // The fallen angel weeps near