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SHORT Japanese essay

IdSee

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13 Dec 2015
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I'm quite new to learning Japanese and yet my teacher asked me to write a rather complicated text so now I'm a bit lost.
I've written some short sentences and I'm sure I've made plenty of mistakes.
Would be so happy if any of you out there could help me out a bit! :)
Hope you can get what I'm trying to say in this short text, and at the end I'm supposed to add a photo later, don't have it at the moment.

私は小の時、変わった文化と言語に興味があります。

日本と中国に/で特に興味を持っています。

私は高校で日本語を勉強しました。

BUT 高校を卒業した後、中国に行ってきました。

My time in China は私の最も貴重な思い出の間。 之一。

私は20歳でした、私はヨーロッパを離れた、初めてでした。

わたしは一年以上南京に住んでいたから、多くの新しい友達を作りました。

手始めに、私は家族と友達を寂しがありました。

新しいの生活に慣れる後、南京は自宅のように感じした。

私は中国の多くの新しい事を経験しました。

多くの美しい風景を見てきました。

多くの新しい、変/奇妙な 食べ物を試してみました。


ここでは公園で過ごした日から写真。
 
It can convey what you want to say roughly, but it's better to provide the original English sentences.
 
I think it looks pretty good. I don't think it's helpful for us to make it perfect for you but, here's some general advice.

私は小の時、変わった文化と言語に興味があります。
- Missing the hiragana part of "small"
- For different cultures, probably better to use 違う. The verb you used sounds kind of like "strange" in a negative way.
- Should be past tense.

日本と中国に/で特に興味を持っています。
- I would use the 興味があり pattern again.

私は高校で日本語を勉強しました。

BUT 高校を卒業した後、中国に行ってきました。
- Put the "but" (in Japanese) on the previous sentence and string them together.

My time in China は私の最も貴重な思い出の間。 之一。
-Not a complete sentence. Not sure what you mean by の間.
- I think you could just end this sentence with です and leave it at that.
- For "my time in China," do you know 中国にいた時?

私は20歳でした、私はヨーロッパを離れた、初めてでした。
- Use the -TE form to string verbs together.

わたしは一年以上南京に住んでいたから、多くの新しい友達を作りました。

手始めに、私は家族と友達を寂しがありました。
- Might want to say something like I was separated from my family and friends (using 離れ) and was 寂しい.
- You can't use を like this.

新しいの生活に慣れる後、南京は自宅のように感じした。
- No need for の after an adjective.

私は中国の多くの新しい事を経験しました。

多くの美しい風景を見てきました。

多くの新しい、変/奇妙な 食べ物を試してみました。
- Use TE to string adjectives together e.g. 新しくて
You're using 多く a lot which is an adverb.
- A word frequently used in this context is いろいろ(な) which would be used to modify nouns.

ここでは公園で過ごした日から写真。[/QUOTE]
- By ここ you mean here on the page? Typically you'd use 以下 (below) or 以上 (above).
 
It can convey what you want to say roughly, but it's better to provide the original English sentences.

This is the english text I wrote, I tried to translate as much of it as I could to Japanese.

When I was little I was fascinated by other cultures and languages, I was especially interested in China and Japan. In high school I studied Japanese for a while but after I graduated high school I decided to go to China to learn Chinese and travel.

My time in china is one of my most treasured memories, I was 20 years old and it was the first time I left Europe.

I lived in Nanjing for more than one year and made many new friends from all over the world.
At first I missed home and my friends a lot but after I had adjusted to my new life I left as if Nanjing were my second hometown.

I've experienced so many new things in China. I have seen all kinds of beautiful scenery and tried so much new and strange foods.

Here is a picture from a day I spent in the biggest part in the city with some classmates.
We had all bought traditional Chinese dresses and took a lot of photos in the park.

(PHOTO)

Here is a picture from a rooftop. This house has 60 floors and the view from the top is amazing.
I and my classmates spent half the night on that rooftop listening to music and just enjoying the view.

(Photo)

I really had the best time of my life and I hope to experience it again.
After this trip I felt more motivated to keep learning languages and I also started learning Japanese again.
I hope I can go to Japan someday too and have a great time.
 
In addition to mdchachi-san's;
At first I missed home and my friends a lot
手始めに、私は家族と友達を寂しがありました。
The correct translation of "at first" is 最初は/初めのうちは there.

it was the first time I left Europe
私はヨーロッパを離れた、初めてでした。
The structure ~たのは初めてでした is used for "it was the first time~".

Here is a picture ~
ここでは
これは~写真です.
 
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