Questions about Japanese culture, gender stereotypes, and family

[Charlotte1991]

I visited a Japanese supermarket today. There was a family of two kids -- a boy and a girl -- and the father. The boy appeared to be 12-years-old while the girl appeared to be 3. The girl kept following the boy around and kicking his legs. She kept calling him "stinky boy" as she kicked his legs.

Here are my questions:

1. Why didn't the boy hit his little sister for kicking him?

2. What would the father likely do if the boy retaliated against the girl? Would he side with the girl? Would he physically-punish the boy?

3. Is it acceptable in Japanese families for a little girl to kick her older brother?

 

[jeisan]

Maybe he really is a stinky boy and the father tasked the little sister to follow him around kicking him and saying "stinky boy" until he takes a shower.

You can't really tell the whole situation in just a short observation.

 

[Charlotte1991]

Maybe he really is a stinky boy and the father tasked the little sister to follow him around kicking him and saying "stinky boy" until he takes a shower.

You can't really tell the whole situation in just a short observation.

Ok but how would dad react if the boy hit the girl?

Also, in most Japanese families, if a little girl does kick her older brother, is there a high chance she will get away with it?

 

[Mike Cash]

Why on earth would you observe a single interaction between two kids and seek to broaden it into a stereotype that will fit the millions upon millions of sibling relationships in Japan?

This may come as some surprise to you, but Japan is a nation of individuals and....oddly enough....they have individuality.

I can show you a Japanese brother-sister pair where the boy is so rough on his kid sister that I feel like slapping the bejesus put of him. How does that fit with the monolithic stereotype you're trying to extrapolate out of one observation?

How about he didn't hit her because he's TWELVE and she's THREE?!?!

You know a lot of American twelve year old boys who are going to haul off and smack a three year old girl upside the head?

 

[Michael Paulson]

Stereotypes of nothing but ridiculously idiotic generalizations. Please do yourself, others a favor and don't post threads about them. Its a waste of everyone's time. Not only that those who use stereotypes are often are often characterized as people who have a lower then average IQ. Something tells me you do not want to people to think you are stupid.

 

[jeisan]

... Not only that those who use stereotypes are often are often characterized as people who have a lower then average IQ. ...

Irony defined.

 

[Michael Paulson]

Irony defined.

lol glad someone caught that. I was hoping that wouldn't go right over peoples heads.

 

[ewww]

Irony defined.

detected is more defined word here

 

[Mike Cash]

Irony defined.

Or karma. "What goes around, comes around". Stereotype and be stereotyped in return.

 

[gaijinalways]

irony indeed

Or karma. "What goes around, comes around". Stereotype and be stereotyped in return.

I think the OP's question should of course considered a few alternatives. Unfortunately, at least of what I have observed with Japanese parents and their children in Japan, this is not that unusual. Parents here tend to give a lot of leeway until children are 6 or so and start elementary school. That and generally older children would be expected to show restraint, so in this case not smack the little kid back (and yes, some American kids might).

I would ask the question; why didn't the father tell the three year old to behave or pick her up and in a sense give her a time out? And usually the answer is, is that is not what Japanese parents generally do in this situation.

 

[Charlotte1991]

why didn't the father tell the three year old to behave or pick her up and in a sense give her a time out? And usually the answer is, is that is not what Japanese parents generally do in this situation.

My guess is that dad sides with his daughter over son because she is "his little girl" and no one should mess with her. If the boy hit her back, my guess is that the father would severely-punish him to the point where he would never think of laying a finger on his little sister. The little girl has some knowledge of this and realizes she can get away with harassing the boy, so that is exactly what she does. Am I right.

BTW, sorry if my question offended anyone.

 

[Davey]

I have been working a some small international schools for the previous years and have seen things like this pretty often.

Some older brothers would just let it go, while others would kick/ punch back really hard. Some parents would get upset, some would just laugh about it.

In my case I would let the girl kick her brother and would not want him to do anything back (looking at the age difference as well, and patience is a very important thing in life which would be good to be learned at a younger stage... of course there will be moments when you lose it... and that's fine after he is being kicked for the 20th time ... lesson for her as well).

 

[bakasentai]

Id have to go with Japanese, along with other cultures families(I would think), do teach the older generation to protect the younger and adult males are know to fawn over there daughters as adult females over sons, same for most cultures. But the way the boy acted is not anything so unusual, if you had to compare then define japan as a society with more restraint in behavior than others.

As for the older generation my anime experience is crap, stuff about unrequited love from sisters towards brothers young or old... complete crap(though there was that one article about that voice actress with her very underage brother). But from the least biased animes, they're no different than an American sibling pair, maybe closer and more attuned to each others feelings(the American portray of sibling rivalry doesn't fit well). Family bonds are nurtured more in Japanese societies than American after all.