I just don't know, not being in that situation, it may just be something you have to lay off and not press them on at all (to open up). Which could allow whatever they have built up inside to eventually burst forth, or at least seep out very gradually.Originally posted by kirei_na_me
If I could compare the two, though, I would say that I think Chinese are easier to get to know and more personable. It's sometimes harder to break down the wall with Japanese people--if at all.
Originally posted by Elizabeth
I just don't know, not being in that situation, it may just be something you have to lay off and not press them on at all (to open up). Which could allow whatever they have built up inside to eventually burst forth, or at least seep out very gradually.
I didn't mean not press directly on the source of their reticence or esp defensiveness/anger, just try as much as possible to go along with their way of thinking/doing things and don't get into arguments at all costOriginally posted by kirei_na_me
Well, yeah. Sometimes that's the case, but I believe that in general, they are just not extremely open by nature. It does depend on the individual, though. I have a couple of Japanese friends who can be very candid about everything, but most of the ones I know stay pretty superficial. It's not that I press, because I learned a long time ago that wouldn't get me anywhere.
Originally posted by Elizabeth
I didn't mean not press directly on the source of their reticence or esp defensiveness/anger, just try as much as possible to go along with their way of thinking/doing things and don't get into arguments at all cost
Although at least they aren't very happy most of the time, either, right?Originally posted by kirei_na_me
Yeah, I see what you mean. It's just difficult. I kind of get tired of having to do everything their way, when some of them don't even make an effort to meet in the middle to compromise. Everyone is just supposed to assume their way of doing things. Oh well...I'm not agonizing over it, it's just irritating sometimes.
Originally posted by Gaki
Why do people decide they will exclusively only date Japanese ?
I'm not specifically targetting the thread starter, in general you get alot of people who say "I will only date Japanese male/female because <insert their own race> women/men are rubbish" and i've never really understood why ?
The only reason i could only think of was that these kind of people are overly obsessed Japanophiles / d0rks or whatever word best describes them.
Before someone retaliates with an argument, i'm not trying to start an argument or make a racist comment, i'm only asking a question.
Originally posted by Kat
I haven't decided to exclusively date Japanese.
Infact until recently I never even 'noticed' asian men at all. I was only attracted to other white people. Who knows why but that's how it was. And I still like white men but recently I started noticing asian guys and so lately I've become very interested in them.
I'm a bit offended that anyone would think I only like Japanese men. :/ Because it isn't true and I haven't shut all other guys out. Just lately I've been very interested and curious about Japanese men and some other asian men too. Is there anything wrong with that?
Anyway, I did get a reply from one of the Japanese guys I had sent a message to.
By the way, would anyone find it weird if a Japanese person said they only wanted to date other Japanese or if a white person said they only wanted to date other white people?
I doubt anyone would find it weird. So I don't know why people bash other things like a white person only wanting to date Japanese. That's not how I am but I can still respect people who'd only want to date Japanese.
It makes me mad that people are always judging other people all the time about stuff like this. Who cares what other people like? It's their decision and it's their problem.
Sorry if I seem really defensive but I do get offended by these things.
Not weird, just racist. It happens that way most of the time of course because their majority culture is where most people tend to live most of the time and can feel most comfortable without thinking of their partner as primarily a physical attraction.Originally posted by Kat
I haven't decided to exclusively date Japanese.
By the way, would anyone find it weird if a Japanese person said they only wanted to date other Japanese or if a white person said they only wanted to date other white people?
I doubt anyone would find it weird.
Originally posted by budd
hmmm... but really, always seeming to say a certain something
it's underlying
Originally posted by Gaki
Because i'm telling the truth ?
There are alot of "foreign" people overly obessesed with Japan and think Japan is like the best country in the world even in comparison to their own, but usually those people are a bit uncultured (?) / uneducated (?) or just plain stupid/d0rk or maybe otaku is the most fitting word.
I am very proud of my country and i dont understand how other people can disrespect their own country and people like that...
I could just easily go around making racist comments but whats the point...
Originally posted by kyotomanabu
Hello, I'm a Japanese guy from Kyoto.
First of all, I didn't know there is a Western woman who
is "physically attracted" to Japanese men like Kat-san,
because I know that J-men have never been popular among the
western women and can't even think of drawing their attention.
Anyway, as for the question, there are so many J-men attracted
to Western women. Perhaps I should say "beautiful Caucasian
women", to be more specific.
For those men, shapely-figured(and busty) beautiful blondes are
always a great heartthrob. Their dream is dating with such American
or French beauty (and showing off that to their Japanese friends).
Same can be said for J-women. So many women are wishing they could
find a cool Western boyfriend like David Beckham or Keanu Reeves.
Behind that incredible popularity lies our deep-rooted inferiority
complex toward Westerners, I believe.
We love and adore just about anything American or European.
Fashion, cars, food, music, movies,language, religion etc...
We have been so obsessed with them. For the Japanese,
"Western" means "superior". This is not an exaggeration.
Thus there is no wonder Western women are so favored by J-men.
Western girlfriend/boyfriend represents some kind of status symbol,
which gives you a great sense of pride, happiness and self-satisfaction.
It's much like driving Porsche or wearing Versace. It makes them
feel very special, as if they have moved up social ladder.
I know it's a very strange perspective unique to the Japanese,
but it will never dwindle, no matter how silly it sounds.
By the way, Yusaku Matsuda was half-blooded with Korean.
Originally posted by budd
"Because i'm telling the truth?"
or more likely, just an opinion like everyone (inclluding me) here
"I could just easily go around making racist comments but whats the point..."
well, don't stop now on my account...
Originally posted by Gaki
So you dont think it's true there are too many Japanophiles ? I've seen alot over the net, seen some in real life, and i think they are d0rks, my Japanese friends think they are d0rks.
Or maybe your offended because that applies to you... (-_-; )
And btw where in the Taiwan thread was i being racist ?
If i wanted to be racist i would have called them "stupid **** sucking Jap. wannabe dog of the white man", big difference between saying that and what i said in that thread.
Anyway nevermind it's not a big deal, dont really wanna clog up this thread with useless arguments.
Originally posted by kirei_na_me
Kat, no, I don't think you are racist. There are some people, though, that only want Japanese because they are Japanese and then say tremendously negative things about their own nationality or another nationality in order to justify their reasons for only liking Japanese. That's what I think is wrong.
You are just curious, is all. I was too. I met my husband and thought he was cute and smart and fun to be around at the time. He was also from a different culture and I thought that was intriguing and mysterious. I wanted to get to know him, and we became friends. It later developed into something more. I didn't go after him because I was some kind of otaku or something. I just liked him.
I will say that now that I know about Japanese men more, I am more attracted to Japanese men than I once was--which was not at all, because I didn't know much about them. I am not attracted to Japanese men more than I am attracted to, say, American men or European men, though. You know, we used to have a saying in school like, "once you go black, you can never go back", but that wasn't the case with me. I am attracted to who I'm attracted to. Before I was married, I dated a Latino guy, a couple of black guys, a French guy, and several "regular" American guys. I never targeted any particular race of nationality just because they were so. I can't say anything bad about American men in general, either. Just because I'm married to a Japanese guy, that doesn't mean American guys or any other guys turn me off now. Some people wouldn't be like that, though. Some men I've known that are married to Asian females have sworn off Americans or Westerners completely because of some irrational reason. That is what I can't understand.
Did I make any sense?
Originally posted by Kat
I just find it annoying that you seem to think that just because I like Japanese guys, I must be a Japanophile. -_-
That's just stupid and it really offends me.
I wish I had never made this stupid thread. I don't really even want to go to this board anymore because of this because I didn't expect my thread to be attacked and me to be accused of being a racist and a "Japanophile who only likes Japanese guys and must think guys of her own culture are trash".
I feel that I'm being attacked because this is my thread. -_-
Originally posted by Gaki
Why do you always think i am targetting you ?
I'm talking about Japanophiles in general, not you.. (-_-;; ) ~ ~ 3