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Missing fiancé

MartyClyde

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Regardless, she was a con-woman, it doesn't matter of what calibre. I was conned. She has a lot of personal information about me even if I can't see how effectual she can be with it. She probably thinks she can do quite well with it. I will learn from this experience. I'm determined to!

I've taken everything I've said myself with a grain of salt while reading through my messages again. I always try to be as honest as I can but I'm not perfect (most obviously) and I trust myself so much less. I remember the Richard Feynman quote "The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool", and it rings true for me now more than it ever has.
 

MartyClyde

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Also I never planned to have a Japanese girlfriend (even though she most probably was Chinese) I just fell in love with who she pretended to be. I haven't gained any negative bias' against Asian people, but a stronger negative bias against dirty liars. I actually started to grow an affection for Japan. I learn't quite a bit about it. I'll verify what ever she's told me, but I researched it to as someone who thought they had a Japanese fiancé.

Before I only mildly payed attention to Japan as someone who likes technology, and I payed attention to Japan as someone who loves MMA and as I watches old Pride FC matches and a bit of the old K-1 kickboxing championships. I also love the artist David Choe's work (I know his from Korean descent). Other that I only have one Asian friend from class and I hardly know her. I still like Japan and I would still like to visit one day and I'd like to learn more about the language, culture and history. So I'll stick around.

Thank you again everyone. Your all so nice and I'll never forget your generosity!

I'll let you all know what the Aussie police think and the what happens when I try to explain it to the katsushika ku police when I contact them. And I'll tell you all if I notice anything happening on my finances or if she contacts me again.

I'm having a coffee and I'm on my way to my bank branch to discuss the situation. Then I'll go to the cop-shop.
 

KyushuWoozy

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I'm having a coffee and I'm on my way to my bank branch to discuss the situation. Then I'll go to the cop-shop.
What happened?

It's almost certain that the police in Australia won't do any investigation about a Chinese scammer operating in Japan. In my country, the UK, the police often won't even turn up at your house after a burglary these days.

However you do need to make sure you get a police report about suspected identity theft. This will help you in the future if somebody tries to make a credit card or something similar in your name, which after reading this thread is what I suspect will happen.

A quick Google around led me to:

https://www.moneysmart.gov.au/scams/other-scams/identity-fraud

I think you seriously need to do what it says on this site because I can't imagine any other reason somebody would spend the amazing amount of time that you said they did spend chatting with you if it wasn't to scam your identity to make a credit card or something similar.

Let us know how it goes.
 

MartyClyde

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What happened?

It's almost certain that the police in Australia won't do any investigation about a Chinese scammer operating in Japan. In my country, the UK, the police often won't even turn up at your house after a burglary these days.

However you do need to make sure you get a police report about suspected identity theft. This will help you in the future if somebody tries to make a credit card or something similar in your name, which after reading this thread is what I suspect will happen.

A quick Google around led me to:

https://www.moneysmart.gov.au/scams/other-scams/identity-fraud

I think you seriously need to do what it says on this site because I can't imagine any other reason somebody would spend the amazing amount of time that you said they did spend chatting with you if it wasn't to scam your identity to make a credit card or something similar.

Let us know how it goes.
Upon visiting the police station here in my city and pleading my story the officer on duty at the front counter; he listened but offered nothing beyond repeatedly suggesting that I contact ACORN (Australia Cybrecrime Online Reporting Network) which is a relitively new initiative put forth by the Australian Government as a means of centralising information collected on cyber crimes and as a tool used to solve them (ideally). Reporting to ACORN is done by writing an online report. Nothing as of yet has happened as a result. I informed my bank and based on what I told they cancelled my cards and we changed my passwords.



I really want to move on but I would be lying if I said that I don't still think about her all the time. Wonko mentioned in private chat that I should find a nice girl and he also mentioned in a seperate message that my intensity in the relationship was unhealthy and that it would be worthwhile if I show some restraint, and it's true that I'm not very good at modulating my desire.


I have taken upon Tinder as someone suggested to me. I've been on the app for 14 days and have accrued 50 matches across those days which is better than my housemates have over a way longer period of time in a low population city (my comparison test). It seems as though some people find me attractive; I felt unattractive after Ran because she would tell me how attractive she thought I was all the time, and everything she said was a lie.

I was enthralled by the prospects that Tinder had attuned me to, I cultivated conversations with many of my matches, nothing untoward, and setup three dates as a result. The second of which soon evolved into a "Netflix & Chill" like scenario. I researched her identity on the Internet to find out how real she was, and everything she claimed of herself was affirmed on her Facebook profile with co-authenticating evidence to boot.

I think that my thirst for affection overcame me, tempered by my feelings of loneliness. I showed up formally dressed while she was just waking up, still in her pyjamas (at the time we had agreed upon btw). I Brought my own ingredients and cooked salmon with grilled asparagus and a side of roast pumpkin and couscous salad topped with ground cashews and lemongrass. I was way more endearing than I should have been. Knowing myself as having a penchant for intensity in relationships I promised to myself that I wouldn't act with such strong emotional signalling. But almost everything I said was doused in romance. I really couldn't help myself.

I stayed in her company for 5 days as we lost track of time... and as I lost interest...

Although I could touch her skin and kiss her lips (and did very often) I didn't begin to care for her in a fractional amount compared to how much I loved Ran.

She jokingly called me her fiancé in a message recently (she doesn't know how creepy I find that now).

I've visited her again after that. I was going to call it quits but I then I relised that it won't be the same as it was with "Ran" (because she's a real girl) and that I shouldn't attach the same expectations to this relationship, and just play it out as it happens.
 
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Seiko

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Is this thread for real.
I asked myself that question too... reading this thread was like a roller coaster with a lot of loop-de-loop.

I know I'm late on this thread but I don't even know where to start. Dude, if this was real and I was you, stupidly, I would have got on a plane, fly to Japan make it a trip visiting Japan at the same time kill 2 birds with one stone and make part of the trip to check out this place personally. I would not confront the person but only watch them from a far. there more I would add but I'm not going to try to give you any idea.

sucks things didn't work out, a lot of good people on this post went above and beyond to help you, even going to the house, WOW.
 

WonkoTheSane

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Upon visiting the police station here in my city and pleading my story the officer on duty at the front counter; he listened but offered nothing beyond repeatedly suggesting that I contact ACORN (Australia Cybrecrime Online Reporting Network) which is a relitively new initiative put forth by the Australian Government as a means of centralising information collected on cyber crimes and as a tool used to solve them (ideally). Reporting to ACORN is done by writing an online report. Nothing as of yet has happened as a result. I informed my bank and based on what I told they cancelled my cards and we changed my passwords.



I really want to move on but I would be lying if I said that I don't still think about her all the time. Wonko mentioned in private chat that I should find a nice girl and he also mentioned in a seperate message that my intensity in the relationship was unhealthy and that it would be worthwhile if I show some restraint, and it's true that I'm not very good at modulating my desire.


I have taken upon Tinder as someone suggested to me. I've been on the app for 14 days and have accrued 50 matches across those days which is better than my housemates have over a way longer period of time in a low population city (my comparison test). It seems as though some people find me attractive; I felt unattractive after Ran because she would tell me how attractive she thought I was all the time, and everything she said was a lie.

I was enthralled by the prospects that Tinder had attuned me to, I cultivated conversations with many of my matches, nothing untoward, and setup three dates as a result. The second of which soon evolved into a "Netflix & Chill" like scenario. I researched her identity on the Internet to find out how real she was, and everything she claimed of herself was affirmed on her Facebook profile with co-authenticating evidence to boot.

I think that my thirst for affection overcame me, tempered by my feelings of loneliness. I showed up formally dressed while she was just waking up, still in her pyjamas (at the time we had agreed upon btw). I Brought my own ingredients and cooked salmon with grilled asparagus and a side of roast pumpkin and couscous salad topped with ground cashews and lemongrass. I was way more endearing than I should have been. Knowing myself as having a penchant for intensity in relationships I promised to myself that I wouldn't act with such strong emotional signalling. But almost everything I said was doused in romance. I really couldn't help myself.

I stayed in her company for 5 days as we lost track of time... and as I lost interest...

Although I could touch her skin and kiss her lips (and did very often) I didn't begin to care for her in a fractional amount compared to how much I loved Ran.

She jokingly called me her fiancé in a message recently (she doesn't know how creepy I find that now).

I've visited her again after that. I was going to call it quits but I then I relised that it won't be the same as it was with "Ran" (because she's a real girl) and that I shouldn't attach the same expectations to this relationship, and just play it out as it happens.
Be very careful and upfront about your feelings for this girl. Remember how it felt to you to be deceived. This girl deserves the respect you deserved and did not get.

If it's just for fun, be sure you are both aware of that fact.

Your broken heart is not an excuse to break someone else's.
 

MartyClyde

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Be very careful and upfront about your feelings for this girl. Remember how it felt to you to be deceived. This girl deserves the respect you deserved and did not get.

If it's just for fun, be sure you are both aware of that fact.

Your broken heart is not an excuse to break someone else's.
Be very careful and upfront about your feelings for this girl. Remember how it felt to you to be deceived. This girl deserves the respect you deserved and did not get.

If it's just for fun, be sure you are both aware of that fact.

Your broken heart is not an excuse to break someone else's.
The dynamic has slightly shifted as I have gotten more involved. I do like her just not with the same intensity, and I think that's healthy. Also it's given me ample opportunity for socialisation, although she is not entirely disposed to conversation (which is my greatest criticism of her that I don't voice), the conversations I do have with her are pleasant enough and I like her family. She has shown a much greater attachment to me. Her general mode of communication is an affectionate one. I reciprocate her affection but she is always the first to initiate (or emojis, she sends A LOT of emojis). I do not wish to deceive her in any way. I think I'll stick around and follow whichever path this relationship takes.
 

MartyClyde

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I asked myself that question too... reading this thread was like a roller coaster with a lot of loop-de-loop.

I know I'm late on this thread but I don't even know where to start. Dude, if this was real and I was you, stupidly, I would have got on a plane, fly to Japan make it a trip visiting Japan at the same time kill 2 birds with one stone and make part of the trip to check out this place personally. I would not confront the person but only watch them from a far. there more I would add but I'm not going to try to give you any idea.

sucks things didn't work out, a lot of good people on this post went above and beyond to help you, even going to the house, WOW.
Ordinarily I'd anticipate a first time visit to Japan as being an enjoyable and fascinating experience but in my state I wouldn't of been capable of enjoying it at all. I just wanted her and a part of me still does. I avoid looking at her pictures and I no longer read our LINE feed, but I still think about her often. If I actually had found her nothing would have been able to stop me from appoching her and throwing my arms around her with joy. Knowing what I know now I do wonder what her reaction might have been to that. I imagine that she would have been surprised at the very least.

I am amazed and very grateful for the kindness shown to me by the folks on this forum. I feel indebted.
 

MartyClyde

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She created a new Facebook account with a new alias. I just found it. It says on it that she's in a relationship with someone. The person it says she's in a relationship with has a very similar name to her new alias. Not sure what to think of that. Should I contact the other person and warn them?
 

Mike Cash

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She created a new Facebook account with a new alias. I just found it. It says on it that she's in a relationship with someone. The person it says she's in a relationship with has a very similar name to her new alias. Not sure what to think of that. Should I contact the other person and warn them?
I would. Give him a link to this thread.
 

Mark of Zorro

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Good idea. I'll do that now.
Hello from retirement everyone! I was reading this thread and thinking, what if this person is not conning voluntarily? I hate cons and liars with a fervent passion, but some of the details of this just sort of lead me that direction, like it seems she never gets out. She could be a debt slave to the Chinese mafia.
 
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