Japanese and Western intermarriages

International Marriages

I have been married to a wonderful and caring Japanese women for 17 years. From time to time we have to odd cultural spat...think more about others, be more modest, be more frank etc. But in the end it is flexibilty, give and take and knowing that no matter what happens you are loved unconditionally. It takes work to build a deep relationship with someone.I am thankful to have a committed partner!
 
Thanks for the note. I am new at this. My kids are on all the time. We live in Kobe. Went to Kagoshima Sept last year. Very nice city by Japanese standards...trees, wide roads and lovely scenic spots nearby.
 
Originally posted by MadDog
Thanks for the note. I am new at this. My kids are on all the time. We live in Kobe. Went to Kagoshima Sept last year. Very nice city by Japanese standards...trees, wide roads and lovely scenic spots nearby.

My husband is originally from Kobe ;) Nice city! I have some nice memories from when I lived there for a while.
We don't live in Kagoshima city now, but a small town about an hour away. I love the scenery around here, especially the palm trees -gives summer an especially tropical feeling!
 
Originally posted by nzueda
I love the scenery around here, especially the palm trees -gives summer an especially tropical feeling!

It sounds sooooooooo nice! ;) Especially right now, when we're about to have freezing rain yet again!
 
I Personally, being a white caucasian male from the U.S., am VERY attracted to asian women... But definately do not stop there, I think that every race of women have beatiful people to offer. And if I like the person it doesn't matter. But I must say that I am attracted to asian/black and some hispanic women more then any other.
 
This may be a little OT, but I just have a point in here.

When I get older and do decide to get married it will most likely be someone from my own country and who is mainly caucasion (know I spelled it wrong.) The reason is because I'm already going to have enough of a problem marrying in my own state because all the guys I like are mormon and I'm catholic. They are so strict with their own religion that it will be hard enough for their faimly to except me and mine to except him without their being any race difference. It isn't like I'm trying to be racist. I embrace different ethnic groups and religions and I wish I could marry differently, but it's so hard to find another person with different beliefs as you but you still get along great with.

I really hope I don't sound racist. Gomen if I do.
 
lol Nikki

Well, you might change your tune, especially if you are planning to go to another country (namely Japan). It's not racist to want to make things simple. I know black folks who just don't want to go interacial because it's a hassle. I mean, there's love and everything like that, but some people just aren't ready.
 
well more like religionist (discriminating based upon religion, yes i made it up)
you seem to think that you cant change yourself and neither can the guy. i dont think religion is an issue and it wont be if you are tolerant of the other persons beliefs, eg dont insult their god(s) or tell them they are going to hell for what they believe. think about how youd feel if someone said the same to you. either way caucasians arent the only christians...
 
Yes, it's definitely not something to enter into lightly. I don't think you sound racist either, nikki. Just practical.

I guess I should be all romantic and say that it's all worth it, but...well...that's just romanticizing a little too much. It's a lot more complicated than that.
 
It's good you're thinking about what you want now - when you fall in love a lot of commonsense goes out the window hehe:p
Marriage to anyone is a lot of work... Dh and I are of the same religion so that's not a problem but it's amazing what little (or not so little) cultural things come up to throw a spanner in the works... gambaruzo--!
 
Way Back, They Used To Say....

of any non-traditional marriage, "THINK OF THE CHILDREN". It was thought even if the couple could make a go of the marriage, the "POOR" children would be tormented for having parents that were different.
Guess they forgot how adaptable kids are.

Frank
 
I'm with a japanese boy. We love each other, but to be honest i'm a little bit worried when he's talking about our marriage. I'm not sure i can leave my present life here in my country and go to have a new one in Japan. :?
 
Midori said:
I'm with a japanese boy. We love each other, but to be honest i'm a little bit worried when he's talking about our marriage. I'm not sure i can leave my present life here in my country and go to have a new one in Japan. :?

Where's your home country, Midori? Is he living there now?
 
Midori said:
I'm with a japanese boy. We love each other, but to be honest i'm a little bit worried when he's talking about our marriage. I'm not sure i can leave my present life here in my country and go to have a new one in Japan. :?

Hi! I'm married to a Japanese man, living in Japan. It is a HUGE change to move to another country and start a new life. For me a my husband, when we moved to Japan from NZ we thought we would only stay 6-8 months, just so I could experience/learn about his country/culture....... but we like it here so much I just extended my visa for 3 years! (my parents are not happy.... :p ) but, living in Japan is not easy so it's good you're thinking about it now. Does he not want to live in your country?

There are some great online support groups for foreign women married to Japanese men living in Japan and also I know of a wonderful group for women married to a foreign man - even if they are in their own country. Let me know if you're interested and I'll post their links.

i've only been in Japan a year, but if you have any questions I'll try and help. Knm has been a lot of experience too, and probably she have lived/visited Japan too.

anyway, nice to "meet" you! :haihai:
 
Nice to meet you! 😜
Yeah, i'm interested in those links. Thank you! ^^
He have to stay in Japan because his job,but it's really better if i move there than he comes here. My country is not a poor place without chance for good life, but less modern than Japan. Naturally the most important is that he 'creates' his life there....for himself and for me... 😊
My heart is already crying for my parents, my home, my...my....everything! But you know...i'm happy too. I like Japan even i have never been there, hope my view won't change in the future.
 
Midori, I'm also married to a Japanese man. We've been married going on 7 years and been together for almost 9 years now. My husband moved to the U.S. with his company and has been here ever since.

But anyway, there are a few groups out there for non-Japanese women like us, who are married to/engaged to/dating Japanese men. I think nzueda and I are in a couple of the same groups.

Nice to have you on the forum, by the way! 🙂
 
Midori said:
I'm so happy to meet you two! 😄

Perhaps if you do decide to come to Japan we can meet up! but I guess the chances of you moving to Southern Kyushu is pretty slim :joyful:

Here are those links I mentioned:

http://www.foreignwivesclub.com/
This is a great community, very friendly and welcoming. You don't have to wait until you're married and in Japan if you want to join.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MarriedinJapan/

I know Kim is a member of this group too :haihai: I don't post here much - just lurk! but I have made a number of good friends. Some members have been in Japan for over 15, 20 years and have tonnes of experience.

There is also AFWJ but I'm not a member.... yet.

but please stick around here too! 🙂
 
Thank you for the links! 🙏
Yeah, I'll move somewhere else, but it doesn't mean we cannot meet! :)
 
hello, I am an american married to a Japanese man for 9 years now. We live in Nagasaki and some day we`ll be moving to Miyazaki because of cho nan responsibilities. The man I dated (many years) was fun and adventurous and laughed a lot and was really fun. The husband/father now has many responsibilites and has become his parents., a traditional southern kyushu man and I have become a middle-aged frumpy housewife. The cultural differences in the marriage aren`t so much of a big deal, but our relationships with our families growing up was so different. In my family there was lots of hugging and now lots of phone calls and e-mails. His relationship with his family seems kind of cold, but he accepts that, but he`s not very affectionate, not very huggy. sorry to have rambled, anyway hello out there to all of you.
 
Welcome to the forum, janimagee. It's so nice to have another one of "us" here. :)

Your situation sounds almost identical to mine.
 
regressing a little, i wanted to make a comment about what someone said earlier about stereotypes...as i was growing up, i really never watched t.v. at all. i read books, and then when i hit six grade i discovered anime and had an avid interest in japanese culture ever since then. i like many asian guys, and i was shocked when many female friends i had didn't agree with me when i called an asian guy cute. whenever i asked why, they could never give me an answer, they just said he's not their type. all types of girls would say this- white, black, asian, hispanic. as i began to watch more t.v., i finally noticed the stereotype out there- the stereotype as asian men as feminine or- excuse the term- 'chinamen'- and other deragatory depictions. i simply hadn't known about the stereotype simply cause i hadn't been exposed to it, and i wonder if i woulda turned out the same way as those other girls if i had. now, i know many girls who have no problem with asain guys or even a preference for them, but all these girls, coincidentally, either never watched much t.v. or were also extremely interested in eastern cultures. i know this probably doesn't go for all females in the u.s., but i'm sure everyone has noticed the extreme lack of asian male representation in hollywood, or andy american entertainment in general; if asian males are in movies, its always a stereotypical kung fu movie or set in asia. i know one thing, though: i'm actually glad my parents wouldn't let sit in front of the t.v. for hours, when i was younger, cause i seriously believe it opened my mind to possiblities that other girls i know don't seem to consider...i love asian guys, black guys, middle eastern guys, white guys- it doesn't matter to me the skin or culture, its the person i look at...
 
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