She says only you say it and no one else ever has so it is not true.
Buntaro said:(It has been my experience that Japanese people handle emotional insecurities differently than many countries, and in a negative way.)
cloa513 said:I have bought many presents. It doesn't work. I don't intend to quote just be guided by. She says only you say it and no one else ever has so it is not true.
I don't mind the source. Any advice or example of admirer notes is good.No offense, but I would take issue with this wording a bit.
I think it's fair to say that there is still, to a degree, more of a stigma about discussing/seeking help for emotional and mental health issues in Japan as compared to Western countries, where it is generally accepted to talk about these things, with many people seeing therapists, etc. etc.
I think that's different from saying that it's an inherent quality of "Japanese people". Many people, Japanese or otherwise, struggle with emotional insecurities (whereas other people, Japanese or not, are able to manage these very natural feelings better).
In any event, we don't know the degree to which cloa513's wife has serious, debilitating insecurities regarding her appearance. Lots of people can lack confidence in their looks and might tell a partner these sort of things ("Come on, I'm not beautiful. You're the only one who says that.", etc. etc.) I'm not sure we can be certain just from what's been posted here that she needs professional help.
Well, I mean, it's not that easy. My wife has a complex about her looks, too...and, to be honest, I do too. Many people do. I admire your dedication, but I'm not sure why you think a "manga-style" approach will be more effective than what you've tried before.
If it were me, I'd suggest just continuing to make her feel beautiful through honest, sincere words and actions. I would like to think that at the end of the day, she will know that she's loved and that'll be what's most important to her.
I mean, the idea of fabricating a letter from a secret admirer feels like more trouble than it's worth. What if she believes it at first but later finds out (somehow) that it was from you. Wouldn't that hurt her confidence rather than helping it?
She doesn't like physical contact. She doesn't like me to help with the chores except very limited list- I put out the garbage. I get away with putting away washed up dishes in the morning and I get put away my own clothes from washing lines. Only she wash the dishes right or wash clothes in the washing machine or hang them up or vacuum.I don't mind the source. Any advice or example of admirer notes is good.