How to be ANnoying!!

[leonmarino]

I'm known very well, amongst friends that is, for making very irritating jokes all the time. The one I particulary like is the "that's what my wife said last night" joke.. It sounds funnier in Dutch, but it may go something like.. Imagine you're in a DIY store.

Customer: I'm looking for some electric wires.
Store guy: Here is our whole assortment.
Customer: Hm.. Don't you have anything longer?
Store guy: That's what my wife said last night!!

Ok, it's a very bad example, but I think you get the point. I've been making those kind of jokes a few times a day for like.. Two years almost!!

 

[SweetMusic]

Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

[/QUOTE]

HEHE, I have to remember this one
Been there, done that

I think that you would have to be pretty mean to do that, i think that one is more mean than funny.

LOL some of these are funny, but i think if you did them all, you would very unpopular

 

[EmperorHirohito]

I found a nice list,
HOW TO BE ANNOYING

- Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

I do this all the time, and boy doesnt someone like it lol

 

[Juno333]

haha..found a little list too. Is much funnier in Dutch, but then, it would be quite unintelligible for half of this thread so especially for you I've taken the trouble of translating it into English.omg my english is terrible.

- While having lunchbreak, get in your parked car and point a hairblower at passing cars, to see if they're slowing down.
- Call your own name through the intercom (without changing your voice!)
- Everytime somebody asks you to do something, you ask: "Would you like to have some mayonaise with that?"
- Encourage your colleagues to regularly join you into a game of musical chairs.
- Put your waste-paper basket on your desk and stick the label "IN" on it.
- Develop an unnatural fear for staplers.
- Put coffee without cafeine in the coffee machine for three weeks. When everyone has gotten over his symptons of addiction, switch over to espresso.
- Answer everything someone says with: "That's what you think."
- End every sentence you utter with: "And thus it is predicted."
- Change the colour of your monitor in such a way, that it lights up your whole environment. Keep instisting that you like it.
- Never use full stops or any other punctuation marks again.
- Try to hop instead of walking as much as you can.
- Ask people from which sex they are.
- While being at the orderingpost of the Mc Drive, state that you want to have your order to go.
- Sing along with the opera.
- Go to a poetry-night and ask why no one rhymes.
- Find out where your boss buys his/her clothes and buy the exact same ones. Wear these ountfits the day after your boss has worn them. (This is especially effective when your boss is of the other sex)
- Send emails to the rest of the company to inform them of what you're doing at the moment. E.g. :"If you're looking for me? I just went to the toilet."
- Hang a mosquito-net around your workplace.
- Tell your friends five days in advantage that you can't come to their party because you're not in the mood.
- Ask everyone if they're pregnant. (especially effective with males, and especially dangerous with females)

 

[Davey]

- Ask everyone if they're pregnant!

I would not do that..........

 

[dark_secrester]

An English one.
Whenever someone asks a question, state: 'Your mom' with a little change to fit the sentence.
EG
A:'Where are you going'
B:'Your mums!'

or try this one.
Whilst in the middle of your office in mid winter, open a window, put the fan on and take off your jacket, shirt, tie and anything else you are wearing on your torso (so you have no top on) and complain that it is too hot. A mod of this is go around opening all the windows and doors, pass every one and turn their fan onto full, taking your top off as you go. At the lunch break (5 minutes before), grab everyone's jackets and put them on top of your car. They will have to go out without a jacket to retrieve said jackets!

Another:
When in Tokyo, when at the side of the road surrounded by Japanese and other people, wait until only a few cars have gone past, and cross when the red man is still on the other side. I tried this, and about 20 people followed me, a few turned back when they looked up, and so did I. A lot of people nearly got hit by cars that day

 

[Homerduff]

Invite someone to come over, and ask him or her: "Are you hungry/thirsty" ? If the answer is "Yes" you don't do anything.

 

[scorpion da black]

wow i did most of those annoying things listed here...beeping when big man walks back..
seting alarms....
-shouting goal and dancing while sitting in the row that belongs to the opposing team's fans.(be sure they dont beat you to death)

-aking poeple embaressing question as if you are filling a survey ( how often do you masterbate?? hello mam, may you please tell me if you had a two way? )

- sitting on the front row of a stadium and place the bonoqulers on your eyes and suddenly look at the stranger next to you couple of times till he complains.

- while driving, put the signal to a direction and go the other way.

- drive slowly next to someone walking and keep staring at him in a suspicouse way.

- go to a calm neighborhood, and play " i like big butts and i can not lie " you know sir mixalot.

- go to hardyse and ask for a pizza.

- go to a fancy resturant where they play soft music to sooth the taste of poeple there....get up and start dancing,.... break dancing to be precise.

- go to hardyse and place a napkin that you used back to the napkin box.

- soak a tissue with water a little....then act as if you are wiping your arm pit then throw it on a freind ...make sure that freind really hates gross things.

- go to mcdanolds and complain about their food all the time " burger king is better...what a waste...why did i have to come here"

- ask the neighbors if you can jump from their balcony to yours coz you forgot your keys.

- dress in a karate suit and place the black belt on and walk in the middle of a busy street looking every one in the eye as if you are a hotshot.

- put on a big beard and get on a bus and then keep doing all the suspicouse moves...look at the watch....look under your coat as if making sure no one sees what's underneath...keep humming with weird things that sounds like prayers. (make sure no cop shoots you)

- drive in the night with you sun glasses on. and make sure everyone see you doing that.

- write on your uncle's truck "childmilister and proud"

- wait until a cop passes next to your own car and hot wire it then

- when a freind brings a new bag of chips ...take it and crack all the chips inside.

- talk about gross filthy things when every one is eating

- when you borrow a flash memory from a freind make sure to return it with a virus.

- before going out with your girlfreind..eat half a pound of garlic.

- mix the salt inside the sugar pot..so that the salt wont be visible.

- go to your artist relative and give his sketch book to your 1 year old niece so she would color with cryons on it...beautiful houses and trees.

- give you freind the phone number of the girl he likes( as a mediator), tell him to start his coversation with "hello sweet thing"as the code to recognize him through...only its her dads phone.

AND THERE IS MANY BUT I CANT REMEMBER EVERY BAD DEED I DID

 

[ronny-hotdogs]

very good list everyone. here's mine: when somebody shows you a new tattoo, say "is that a cover-up? what did you have there before?"