Haruto Uzumaki
渦巻ハルト
- 24 Apr 2022
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Since now I have a few Japanese friends I'm close with or care a lot about, the occurrence of times when I would like to be sympathetic or empathetic has increased. However, each time I attempted to express sympathy/empathy, I realized Japanese might have one unfortunate caveat (from my limited point of view and vocabulary): It seems it's much more difficult to express sympathy/empathy in Japanese compared to English...
For example, let's say your friend got bullied badly or beat up. In English, of course, you could say things like "I'm so sorry that happened", to express that you are regretful that you couldn't do anything, or just condolences for the situation in general. In Japanese, I tried to find ways to express this same kind of feeling, but all the translations that come up either won't make sense in the same way, or sound extremely distant in terms of trying to be empathetic or even sympathetic. As expected, it sounds weird if you say 「すみません」 or 「ごめんなさい」for something you didn't cause (not fully sure about 「申し訳ない」, but it's still far from the feeling I want to reproduce).
The closest translation I could get which makes sense is 「残念」, but that sounds extremely distant from the situation in my opinion. It sounds like one is maintaining their distance to prevent being involved as part of the situation, like "that's unfortunate" with too much emphasis on it being "that" (away from the speaker). I also wanted to use things such as 「お悔やみ申し上げる」 but I quickly learned that it is a for a eulogy at funerals only (which could unfortunately be a bad reminder for some people). Also learned that saying something like 「御愁傷様」isn't even allowed at funerals nowadays (due to how much of a reminder of the dead it is?), so essentially there's nothing I can think of left that can directly express sympathy or empathy
To me, it just emphasizes how indirect Japanese people can be with their feelings when they speak. Even if they actually did care, would they say anything more than 「残念」?
Even more difficult, expressing empathy... I know you can say 「分かる」 for certain situations but I don't think it always fits, especially if the same exact thing didn't happen to you, but you just understand how they feel on a deep level and want to show that you care and feel for them. Of course, you can also say things that indirectly say that you care, like saying you wish you could do something about it, but in this discussion I'd like to focus on how to directly empathize/sympathize.
The closest thing I could think of was 「共感している」 or empathizing, but I feel like there has to be some other way than "I empathize with you" to express empathy...
One of my (old) friends even said that 「同情」 and 「共感」 appeared to be synonyms (he didn't know the word 「共感」), but that's even more confusing because then that means there must not really be a difference between empathy and sympathy in Japanese?? Both of these words seem to have "empathy" and "sympathy" included in their definitions, but 共感 to me feels like it embodies empathy more than 同情...
I'm going to ask ChatGPT as well just for extra insight, but I hope to have a discussion on this, so I'm just going to add whatever information it gives me here, so it can also be discussed.
And sorry this was a bit disorganized, as it took me too long to write... (felt like an hour), but to repeat the topic's question: How do I properly express sympathy and empathy in Japanese, without sounding distant, separated from the situation, and so on?
Maybe it's something I could google or ask HiNative, but I prefer having discussions (and being part of the discussion) on here until I finally get it. I appreciate everyone's help!
For example, let's say your friend got bullied badly or beat up. In English, of course, you could say things like "I'm so sorry that happened", to express that you are regretful that you couldn't do anything, or just condolences for the situation in general. In Japanese, I tried to find ways to express this same kind of feeling, but all the translations that come up either won't make sense in the same way, or sound extremely distant in terms of trying to be empathetic or even sympathetic. As expected, it sounds weird if you say 「すみません」 or 「ごめんなさい」for something you didn't cause (not fully sure about 「申し訳ない」, but it's still far from the feeling I want to reproduce).
The closest translation I could get which makes sense is 「残念」, but that sounds extremely distant from the situation in my opinion. It sounds like one is maintaining their distance to prevent being involved as part of the situation, like "that's unfortunate" with too much emphasis on it being "that" (away from the speaker). I also wanted to use things such as 「お悔やみ申し上げる」 but I quickly learned that it is a for a eulogy at funerals only (which could unfortunately be a bad reminder for some people). Also learned that saying something like 「御愁傷様」isn't even allowed at funerals nowadays (due to how much of a reminder of the dead it is?), so essentially there's nothing I can think of left that can directly express sympathy or empathy
To me, it just emphasizes how indirect Japanese people can be with their feelings when they speak. Even if they actually did care, would they say anything more than 「残念」?
Even more difficult, expressing empathy... I know you can say 「分かる」 for certain situations but I don't think it always fits, especially if the same exact thing didn't happen to you, but you just understand how they feel on a deep level and want to show that you care and feel for them. Of course, you can also say things that indirectly say that you care, like saying you wish you could do something about it, but in this discussion I'd like to focus on how to directly empathize/sympathize.
The closest thing I could think of was 「共感している」 or empathizing, but I feel like there has to be some other way than "I empathize with you" to express empathy...
One of my (old) friends even said that 「同情」 and 「共感」 appeared to be synonyms (he didn't know the word 「共感」), but that's even more confusing because then that means there must not really be a difference between empathy and sympathy in Japanese?? Both of these words seem to have "empathy" and "sympathy" included in their definitions, but 共感 to me feels like it embodies empathy more than 同情...
I'm going to ask ChatGPT as well just for extra insight, but I hope to have a discussion on this, so I'm just going to add whatever information it gives me here, so it can also be discussed.
What do you guys think about this? This is exactly what I was thinking originally, but dictionaries and translators seem to interchangably use "empathy" and "sympathy" for both wordsChatGPT:
"Dōjō" (同情) and "Kyōkan" (共感) are two different terms that convey related but distinct meanings in Japanese.
In summary, "dōjō" emphasizes the act of feeling sorry for someone's misfortune or suffering, while "kyōkan" focuses on the ability to share and understand someone's emotions or experiences.
- 同情 (Dōjō):"Dōjō" refers to sympathy or compassion. It involves understanding someone's pain, suffering, or difficulties and feeling pity or empathy towards them. It often implies a sense of concern or support for someone's situation or emotions. It can be translated as "sympathy" or "compassion."
- 共感 (Kyōkan):"Kyōkan" refers to empathy or shared feelings. It involves resonating with or understanding someone else's emotions or experiences based on personal experiences or emotional connection. It is the ability to feel what someone else is feeling and share in their emotional state. It can be translated as "empathy" or "shared feelings."
And sorry this was a bit disorganized, as it took me too long to write... (felt like an hour), but to repeat the topic's question: How do I properly express sympathy and empathy in Japanese, without sounding distant, separated from the situation, and so on?
Maybe it's something I could google or ask HiNative, but I prefer having discussions (and being part of the discussion) on here until I finally get it. I appreciate everyone's help!