My mother has expressed some disapproval about "how Western" I look or act (I don't think I look western at all, but anyway...) - which baffles me since it was her decision to give birth and raise me in Canada. :?
In fact, she was disillusioned with some aspects of Japanese society, and did the shameful thing of emigrating because she didn't fit in - but of course, she didn't "fit in" in Canada either, and even I have had brushes with racism in Toronto, one of the most multicultural cities one can live in.
Now that I'm in Ireland, I encounter racists frequently.
And since my husband married a visible minority, so does he.
But as for fitting in, well one of the values I took away from being raised in an individualistic culture was that I don't see the point of trying to fulfill others' expectations. I am a combined result of several very disparate influences, and others must take me as I am, whatever I may be. And since living means interacting with others, I also try to understand others for their real traits and quirks and appreciate their strengths.
Apparently I'm a rare type (only child, INTJ) and peer pressure has never meant anything to me. I do remember looking down at classmates (when I was far less mature) who were forced to attend Japanese language school and who wasted everyone's time by not trying to study conscientiously. I knew that so long as I look East Asian I would be expected to know how to speak another language, so I made a real effort to keep up my Japanese.
I also never considered dating anyone Japanese-Canadian (or Japanese-American) because I hadn't met anyone that was as proud or accepting of being what they were as I (not that I flaunted or exhalted in being effectively of two cultures or anything, but I didn't make any effort to be "more" Western than school already trained me to be). But that was a matter of respect, rather than any consciously bigoted racist bias.
is it maybe that there are very little asian girls at that place, so they are all kinda like close? so...
