am I not Asian enough? not Western enough?

[Dream Time]

I think many Asian people who were born and/or grew up in Western countries have gone through this...

I came to Canada when I was almost 10

I like being who I am,but sometimes I think about it...I feel kinda...puzzled..confused...

I speak Cantonese fluently [I don't really know the HK slangs though],I eat Chinese food,I watch Chinese TV and read Chinese books/newspapers,
but I have adopted things from other cultures,I like to learn things from different cultures,like Spanish,Japanese,American,Chinese,etc..because I think there are cool things in every culture

very often,I have different interests than other Chinese people
eg: 99% of the music I listen to are Western or Japanese...
I like rock,jazz,blues,r&b,soul,flamenco,some rap..instead of idol pop,most Chinese people are into idol pop for some reason,in fact majority of Chinese singers are pop or idol pop singers,I prefer playing and watching basketball,hockey,football,some baseball,instead of soccer,ping pong,badminton which are big sports in Asia
I only went to karaoke once,I was kinda forced by my Chinese ex-girlfriend to go,and I sang like..a couple of words,I don't like going to karaoke.



some people like to make issues of my ethnic background,I have faced some racist stuffs from the white guys,ya they actually told me to go back to China/Hong Kong whatever,but I know those are racist jerks.
I remember when I was grade 8 or 9,me and my Asian friends [some Chinese,some Korean] just wanted to go out and have fun in the snow,we opened the door and those white grade 11/12 guys kept throwing snowballs hard at us,laughing and yelling at us : go back to ESL!
but again,those are the stupid racist jerks,come on,you guys don't own this land


my Western friends look at me as an Asian,to them I am not 'Western' enough
some Chinese people,when they see me,they probably look at me as a
CBC [Canadian born Chinese,which I am not],
banana [yellow skin,white inside],bamboo...
my Chinese friends look at me as like a Western,or some bamboo or banana I don't know,they probably don't look at me as a 100% Chinese

I actually prefer to go to Western places in Vancouver,instead of the Chinese places such as Richmond...whenever I go to those places where there is a big Chinese population,I just feel kinda...it seems I am not interested in the stuffs they sell in stores,which are aimed for HK,Taiwanese customers,actually,when I am in HMV or other Western music CD or music instrument stores,I am almost always the only Chinese in the store.


many Chinese prefers the Hong Kong style of life...
while I like Vancouver better...

 

[dreamer]

That's the same for me here or when I go to hong kong although I can understand the slang perfectly ^^'
Most of the people look at me asa foreigner thus don't talk to me a lot...
Sometimes I really wonder who I really am...

 

[Dream Time]

the way we do things,the way we think..just really different

when someone speaks to me in Cantonese,it is like communication breakdown for me,except my family and friends
so I end up just speaking English to the young Chinese people

 

[RockLee]

That's the whole downside of going to another country when you're young...you are becoming a MIX of cultures...so you don't know what you are anymore :? ....Well as for the racist issue....there are always people who are that stupid... ...come on...calling people names because they look different and NEVER did any harm...that's just LAME ☝ ...I always had this kind of admiration for Chinese/Japanese/Korean people...They are so different than us Western guys...That's what Atracts me I think.....Erm..well anyways...just like I said...It's the mix thingy,you benefit of 2 different cultures...but sometimes you get confused by it...that's normal I think...everybody would feel like that!!

 

[Golgo_13]

Dream Time,

I'm in the same situation as you. I came to the U.S. when I was 9.

What I do is to be myself without worrying about what others think of me. You can't please everybody. I eat what I like, listen to the music I like, watch my favorite shows.

Just be yourself. You're never not yourself enough or too yourself. You are unique.

Think how many people can speak English and Chinese fluently like you?

 

[kirei_na_me]

I'm really interested in hearing everyone's take on this. As you know, my sons are half Japanese, and sometimes I worry about them feeling like they don't fit in. Especially as they get older and their peers become more aware of their background. Like now, my oldest is in Kindergarten, but at that age, his classmates are kind of oblivious to it. I just worry about how it's going to be, say, 5+ years later?

 

[jeisan]

my personal opinion is ya gotta like yourself, find things about yourself that please you. then, well, what others think doesnt really matter, doest it? not to me at least, the only people whose opinions about me i give any creedance to are those of my friends and family. even then adverse things dont really bother me much because they love me anyway. basicly if someone doesnt know or care about you then why should it matter what they think of you? people worry too much about other people, you cant please everyone, so just please yourself and things will fall into place.

 

[Mayura]

yeah.... I always get the feeling that I don't belong anywhere... v.v;
Like, though singapore IS my home... I feel odd you know... (I can't speak chinese... T.T) and when I'm in Eurupe... well, i just don't belong there... *sighs*

kirei - probably hemight feel like "odd" too?

 

[Golgo_13]

KNM,

I have a nephew who is half and half. He if 17 now and is a good student and a good kid. I think there might have been a time when he was self-conscious about his Japanese side. For example, when he was a little kid, his friends from the neighborhood came by to play while my mother (the Japanese grandma) was there. The friends asked who the lady was, and my nephew said "She's my babysitter" instead of saying she was his grandmother.

My nephew doesn't look like he's Oriental and far as I know he's never been teased or picked on school, but he has been told to tell his parents immediately if and when somebody does. I even offered to teach him martial arts.

I have a Jewish friend in D.C. who is married to a Chinese woman and they have two daughters who look very Oriental. The girls sometimes get embarrassed when people first assume they were adopted, then find out that their father is their real biological father. But fortunately, my friend lives in an area where there are many mixed couples and quite a few white-Oriental mixed kids like their daughters.

I've spoken to many adults of mixed white-Oriental heritage, and a few of them have said that at one time in their childhood they resented the non-white parent, thinking if that parent had been white the mixed person could have been completely white.

But I think the biggest problem was with Oriental people who were adopted by white families. They grew up assuming they were white just like anyone else in their family, then at some point realized that they weren't and felt ambivalent about themselves. I remember someone during junior high who ran away from home.

Let moi know if there's anything else you'd like to know.

 

[Mayura]

hmm... well, after some time, one would learn to "get over" it... v.v; but sometimes it's still sad...

 

[Grandpa Frank]

It's Kind Of Sad !!!

Years ago immigrants could proudly declare they were Americans, no mater where they or their parents came from. Not as many people are willing to stand up and say that lately !! Some people want immigrants to sever their ties to their country of origin; to be ? PURE ? Americans?
I would rather they nurture those things and teach them to me and others who can use some CULTURE knowledge!

Frank

 

[mad pierrot]

Well.....

I think a big part if depends on where the child is growing up or where the person is living. For example, a person of Asian background will definately feel more alienated growing up in rural white Wisconsin, as opposed to downtown L.A.

Take Skokie and Evanston in Chicago for example. Those two neighborhoods are pretty diverse, with a majority of Korean. Hell, in certain parts of Chicago, street signs go from Korean to Urdu to Spanish in less than a few miles. Of course this brings up another issue, segregation and ghettos, but we should save that for a seperate thread.

I think my point was this: A community raises a child, so you better find a good one!

 

[Dream Time]

Years ago immigrants could proudly declare they were Americans, no mater where they or their parents came from. Not as many people are willing to stand up and say that lately !! Some people want immigrants to sever their ties to their country of origin; to be ? PURE ? Americans?
I would rather they nurture those things and teach them to me and others who can use some CULTURE knowledge!

Frank

I have seen some Chinese people who were born and grew up in Western countries,
some of them actually refuses to learn Chinese
and some refuses to date with Asian guys/girls
when they go back to Hong Kong or whatever,
they tell people 'my Chinese is not very good' or 'I don't understand Chinese'
they think they are superior than the other Chinese people

they are so whitewashed,they deny their roots,
I don't like that kind of people

 

[topi]

I have a half Italian freind, an although he may be hard to distinguish from most other English people in my area, he was very self concious.
Until lately he thought of himself as half/half and reckoned his father didnt treat him aswell as his full Italian brother, but now he thinks of him self as double instead of half. He can speak fluent English and Italian and is starting to show off his abilities instead of hide them.
I think most people a mixed race person meets should and will admire the greater knowledge. Only the uneducated and narrow minded people would tease someone because they are mixed, and you can laugh at them when you walk past them sitting on the street begging for your money.

 

[michi]

Interesting. I'm a Canadian citizen, and I am of Chinese descent. I lived in Canada until I was 13, and now I live in the United States. It's funny, because I feel uncomfortable in places that have a large Asian population. Definitely I feel like I don't fit in. Now of course, I'm not Asian-phobic or something. No. I don't choose the people I associate myself with according to race. I just don't hang out with the AZN crowd. Azn...

I'd like to say I am different from most Asians living in the western world. Let's see. Most of the Asians I've encountered are Christian, or at least have some religion. I do not believe in religion, I'm not atheist, but I don't believe in religion. That's one of the reasons why I feel like an outsider. While my Asian friends go to youth group on Friday and go on retreats and missionarys, well, I don't...
Many of the Asians in my highschool are friends with only other Asians exclusively. They have their own little gang, and in that sense they segregate themselves. I tend to be a floater. My friends would be an eclectic group. My best friend from middle school is African-American, and I'd say I don't fit into any stereotypical highschool clique.

some people like to make issues of my ethnic background,I have faced some racist stuffs from the white guys,ya they actually told me to go back to China/Hong Kong whatever,but I know those are racist jerks.

That has not happened to me. At least to my face.

my Western friends look at me as an Asian,to them I am not 'Western' enough

If they do look at me as not "Western" enough, my Caucasian friends have never told me. And I don't think they think that. We're just all a bunch of people, having fun.

I speak Cantonese fluently [I don't really know the HK slangs though],I eat Chinese food,I watch Chinese TV and read Chinese books/newspapers,
but I have adopted things from other cultures,I like to learn things from different cultures,like Spanish,Japanese,American,Chinese,etc..because I think there are cool things in every culture

In this aspect we are similar. I speak Mandarin fluently, I eat Chinese food everyday, I will occasionally watch Chinese t.v. with my folks, I read Chinese books, and I love learning about different cultures.

 

[Mayura]

I have seen some Chinese people who were born and grew up in Western countries,
some of them actually refuses to learn Chinese
and some refuses to date with Asian guys/girls
when they go back to Hong Kong or whatever,
they tell people 'my Chinese is not very good' or 'I don't understand Chinese'
they think they are superior than the other Chinese people

they are so whitewashed,they deny their roots,
I don't like that kind of people

hmm... that's so sad... if I had the chance, or actually the time to learn chinese, I would... but I'm so busy... T.T someday, someday.. at least I ca understand my grandmother sometimes?

 

[Golgo_13]

I have seen some Chinese people who were born and grew up in Western countries,
some of them actually refuses to learn Chinese
and some refuses to date with Asian guys/girls
when they go back to Hong Kong or whatever,
they tell people 'my Chinese is not very good' or 'I don't understand Chinese'
they think they are superior than the other Chinese people

they are so whitewashed,they deny their roots,
I don't like that kind of people

There are Japanese and Korean people like that as well.
Many Orientals living in western nations (esp. in the U.S.) go out of their way to date or marry someone not Oriental.

Last year, there was some kind of students movement at UCLA to reduce the number of Oriental students accepted to the school and increase the number of other "minorities". One proponent of this movement was a Korean gal. When asked by a reporter why she is favor of this movement when she herself is "Asian", she arrogantly answered "I don't want to be in a college class with so many other Asian students!"

I felt like telling her to go back to Korea and see how she likes going to college there.

 

[RockLee]

Hmm...I don't get those ppl...are they afraid of something ?? :?

 

[Dream Time]

There are Japanese and Korean people like that as well.
Many Orientals living in western nations (esp. in the U.S.) go out of their way to date or marry someone not Oriental.

Last year, there was some kind of students movement at UCLA to reduce the number of Oriental students accepted to the school and increase the number of other "minorities". One proponent of this movement was a Korean gal. When asked by a reporter why she is favor of this movement when she herself is "Asian", she arrogantly answered "I don't want to be in a college class with so many other Asian students!"

I felt like telling her to go back to Korea and see how she likes going to college there.

oh my God..
it is sad

Hmm...I don't get those ppl...are they afraid of something ?? :?

they just want to be WHITE

those are really whitewashed people

and there are some Asian parents who do not teach their children their languages,they just want their children to speak English and be White

yeah.... I always get the feeling that I don't belong anywhere... v.v;
Like, though singapore IS my home... I feel odd you know... (I can't speak chinese... T.T) and when I'm in Eurupe... well, i just don't belong there... *sighs*

kirei - probably hemight feel like "odd" too?

I've heard that many Singapore people can't speak Chinese
I don't know why is that...

 

[sabro]

Half Japanese, Half Hakujin, in California

I recognized a lot of the emotions expressed above. -About not fitting in: I went to a Japanese (Baptist) church as a kid and didn't feel like I fit in. I've got a dozen full blood third generation cousins that I don't fit in with. I grew up in a predominantly latino section of Los Angeles. I live in a predominantly white area of the San Bernardino mountains. I married a half creole, half mexican girl from LA, and so my kids are one quarter or so everything you can think of.

People often ask "what are you?" They assume that my wife and I must be Indian or Hawaiin. And even though it is an innocuous question asked from innocent curiosity, it sometimes offends me.

I never learned Japanese. I tried. I tried to learn Spanish too.

Kids made fun of me when I was very young, but I learned to ignore it. I learned to be proud of both heritages, and my one nationality. I identify myself more as Japanese around white people, but around nihonjin I definitely feel like a barbarian. I am truly American.

I am a unique creation of God. And so are my kids. I try to instill them with the fact that He doesn't make mistakes.

I am trying to learn as much about the culture of my ancestors as I can. I want my kids to learn about all the cultures of their grandparents.

 

[Golgo_13]

they just want to be WHITE

Dream Time,

Why do you think I refuse to use the word "Asian" and continue to use "Oriental"? Because there is noting wrong with the word! And I'm not insecure or ashamed about being Oriental.

The American-born and raised Orientals began using the word "Asian" in the mid 1980s because they claimed that the word Oriental is derogatory.

Nonsense! It's only that they themselves hated being Oriental. There are people of many different races who live in Asia, so you CANNOT have an Asian race. People in India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iran all have the right to call themselves Asians because they live in Asia.

I once wrote an op-ed piece for the Rafu-Shimpo, a Japanese-Community Daily Paper in LA titled "Call Me Oriental, Not Asian," and guess what? I got some positive feedback. People said to me they hate saying "Asian", and felt the same way I did.

I once asked a Chinese gal why she preferred "Asian" and she said "oh . . . Asian just sounds better. Being called an Oriental is like being told you have slanted eyes." Oh my Lord! Doesn't she realize there is NOTHING wrong with her eyes? No matter what anybody says or tinks?

"Asian" SOUNDS better? Then it dawned on me. What happens if you add the letters C, A, U, and C in front of Asian? So, being Asian is almost halfway to being white !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No wonder it sounds better to her, and to anybody else who hates being Oriental! This is nothing more than self-inflicted racism.

It's tough to grow up in a country where you are considered an outsider, a foreignor, no matter how well you speak English (How often do you still hear "What are you?" or "Where are you from?"). I've been called "Chink" when I was a kid, and got picked on and beaten up for no other reason than my race. I can understand how some kids grow up subconsciously resenting their own race.

However, at some point you have got to get over it. Love yourself as you are for who you are and not what you are. It's hard enough fighting racism from people of other groups, but we also have to fight from within.

Hang in there, bro.

Regards,
G-13

 

[Gaki]

they just want to be WHITE

those are really whitewashed people

and there are some Asian parents who do not teach their children their languages,they just want their children to speak English and be White

I think it's more complex than "just wanting to be white".

I have friends who do not deny their roots, but do not get along with other Chinese people and therefore do not date other Chinese.
Also my cousins in USA dont speak very much Cantonese, not because my Uncle and Aunt want them to be White, but because they rarely feel the need to speak in Cantonese in an English speaking country.

Pride is kept in your heart, and not neccesarily needed to come out of one's mouth.

 

[Dream Time]

and got picked on and beaten up for no other reason than my race. I can understand how some kids grow up subconsciously resenting their own race.

that also happened to me and some of my friends,quite a few times
and of course I fought back

 

[dreamer]

Hum..maybe it's an inferiority complex...or maybe they just want to look like the people they grew up with...
It's sometimes hard to be proud of our difference when other people are looking at you in a strange way...

 

[Golgo_13]

Pride is kept in your heart, and not neccesarily needed to come out of one's mouth.

The problem is, there's no pride anywhere. Ever.

Just look at the girl I refer to in a previous post. She doesn't even want to be around others like her.