A Japanese Proposal

[JustSomeDude]

Hi all! I'm not sure if this is the right section to ask this in or not, but here goes: At the end of the month I will be traveling to Japan to ask my girlfriend to marry me. I'm not familiar at all with Japan, so I was wondering if anyone had any ideas about a romantic place to propose. I'm open to any suggestions, but places near Tokyo/Chiba are preferred since she lives in Chiba. Also, I know I'm going to have to speak with her parents about the engagement, and I'm really not sure what to expect there, either! Anyone with some experience in this that might be able to offer some advice? TIA!

 

[nice gaijin]

Do you speak Japanese? Do her parents speak English? If not, talking to them about marrying their daughter might prove difficult without her there, which means you're going to have to propose to her first. Is this your plan?

 

[Nagoya Joe]

Tough one here. Have you talked about marriage and your future? Does she truly know how you feel? Don't expect her to jump up and say 'yes'.

Have you met the parents? If not, you should meet them first and get a feel on how they feel about foreigners. Your chances are 50/50.

Good luck

 

[Petaris]

I proposed in a park just next to the Ghibli museum, it was early spring and there were Sakura all around including covering the ground. We were pretty isolated from anyone else and it just all seemed to fit together, so I proposed.

I am making another trip in October to meet her parents and the rest of her family, along with some of her other friends. They did not know about me asking her before hand (as I hadn't planned to do it on that trip) but she did tell them a few weeks later. I am learning Japanese, well as much as I can, before going to speak with them. We already have wedding plans as well and her parents are already booking their hotels and flights to come to the wedding (In Kauai, HI, USA).

But I am well aware of the fact now that after asking her to marry me I *should* have gone straight to her father to ask his permission according to tradition, if not doing so before asking her.

By the way, if anyone knows the name of that park I would like to know. It was right next to the Ghibli museums exit and had a baseball field and a park area together. My fiancee is from Osaka and we were just passing through Tokyo on our way to Matsushima. We did go to the museum though, that was a wonderful day.

 

[Mars Man]

I moved this here since it was basically asking for personal advice, and was more of a 'practical' nature than of an 'aesthetic' nature.

Now, I am only left to wonder with the little detail that has been provided. However, since the question can be assumed to have been asked on top of a background of knowledge and information that fairly concludes that you are, in fact, in a position to marry the girl who you love, I would say that you first have to make sure you have a solid plan of action all laid out and ready to explain to the parents.

By that I mean that once you have gotten married, then what? Where are you going to live? How are you going to support the future family? How do your own parents feel about it? As far as bringing up the topic to her mom and dad, you of course firstly have to bring it up with her. If she has not first given a full-hearted 'YES,' there may not be much chance of convincing her parents--but then again, I know nothing about them either. . . so.

Regarding where to propose, I would suggest a place of nature for the actual asking--a park, a nice 'scenic' spot by a river, the beach, etc. It might be good to do so after having had a nice meal. The rest is up to you and your likings. I live way up here in the mountains, and so can't help much more than that.

I do wish you the best, and hope that all works out in your and her favor--whatever that may turn out to be. MM

 

[nice gaijin]

The park next to the ghibli museum is Inokashira kouen (井の頭公園)

 

[Masamune_74]

I have to agree with all the above posts. I proposed to my fiance after about 3 1/2 years, I did it on the beach in Okinawa , sunset etc. But I would make sure things are all ironed out with the family before you go for it. I know this sounds a bit weird but even though I am currently engaged to my fiance and we have a good idea of when we want to get married I have still not met her mother. The rest of her immediate family I have met though.

 

[JustSomeDude]

Thanks for all the advice so far! Sorry for not giving more details. Weve been dating for almost 3 years now, and have talked about marriage before. She's made it pretty clear that she would rather I ask her first before going to her parents. Her parents don't speak English and I don't speak Japanese well enough for a delicate situation like this, so she will be there translating.

I think a park is a fantastic idea! Too bad I've already missed all the Sakura, though hehe. Thanks again for the advice!

 

[Petaris]

The park next to the ghibli museum is Inokashira kouen (ﾋ?､窶堙娯?慊ｪﾅ津ｶ窶ｰ竄ｬ)

窶堙??堙?窶堋?窶堙ｨ窶堋ｪ窶堙??堋ｲ窶堋ｶ窶堙懌?堋ｷﾂ、nice gaijin!

I really appreciate it!

 

[frostyg02uk]

Best of luck. Im sure your do fine. Tokyo tower at night could be a good idea too...or sun set if thats your thing ;o)

 

[epigene]

All of the suggestions are nice, but I'll stick to places closer to Chiba!

Umihotaru, the stopover on the big bridge connecting Tokyo (Kawasaki) with peninsular Chiba (Kisarazu) that offers fantastic view of the bay. A bit expensive to get there, but it's a special occasion!
http://www.umihotaru.com/pa/introduction.asp

Kasai Rinkai Koen, a park with a fantastic aquarium and giant Ferris wheel to give you privacy for a while, along with a beautiful view:
葛西臨海公園｜公園へ行こう！

 

[Mike Cash]

I believe I'd spend more time seeking advice about and giving thought to the marriage than the proposal. You can totally botch a proposal and still come out alright.

But it is human nature for guys to give more thought to the proposal than the marriage and for gals to give more thought to the wedding than the marriage.

Where to propose, believe a fellow who has been in the position you're aiming at for over half his life, is the least of your worries.

 

[Hiroyuki Nagashima]

Chiba port tower/Chiba port park/CHIBAﾂ PREFECTURALﾂ MUSEUMﾂ OF ART

There are them in Chiba Port.
Chiba port tower opens from 9:00 to 21:00,
You can enjoy a night view.
port tower - 千葉市観光協会公式サイト／千葉市観光ガイド
http://www.pref.chiba.jp/business/kowan/picture-j.html
千葉県立美術館
An art museum of Chiba-shi flower
A place:
Chiba-shi, Mihama-ku, Takahama, 7-2-4
http://www.cga.or.jp/004020/
Mother Farm
マザー牧場│花と動物たちのエンターテイメントファーム

ENMUSUBI TAISYA
A Shinto shrine of matchmaking of the man and woman who are famous for Chiba
A place:
Chiba, Togane-shi, Yamada ,1210 myosenji temple
http://www.enmusubi.cc/subfolder/

 

[JustSomeDude]

Thanks for all the links! Exactly the kind of places I was looking for

 

[ArmandV]

Maybe you ought to watch "The Godfather." Pay extra attention to the Michael Corleone in Sicily section.

 

[GodEmperorLeto]

Maybe you ought to watch "The Godfather." Pay extra attention to the Michael Corleone in Sicily section.

Bada-bing! Dude, that is brilliant. Corleone actually handles it pretty well. He makes it clear his intentions are honorable, and that he stands to "gain a son". And although he speaks Italian, he has his more fluent companion translate for him. On the other hand, Michael Corleone is, well, Michael Corleone. I mean, come on. The father knew that he could have him whacked six ways from Sunday if he wanted it. So, I don't think trying to intimidate your girlfriend's parents with your best Tony Soprano impression is going to get the job done.