How a child is raised in Japan?

[Mello Saito]

I'm kinda curious. how are children raised in Japan? from infants to (lets see) 8? what are they normally fed, how are they disciplined, how are they taught (before they go to school i mean), and anything else that most noted for. ive tried to look this sort of thing up on the internet, but im not having much luck :/ so anyone want to help me out?

 

[theBrokenMonkey]

I would like to give some kind of answer but I really don't know where to begin. Infant to eight is a long time, and child raising changes pretty much during that period. If noone will give you a good answer maybe you can narrow it down a bit and I might have a little bit of information for you.

Do you read japanese? I can find some links for you, but they'd be all japanese.

 

[nahadef]

I started a discussion about this, but it got kind of highjacked by a member's low self-esteem.
Japanese parenting

I will say this:
Kids sleep with the parents up to age 5 and beyond. Until high school and sometimes beyond, every waking hour is filled with activities, studying, cram school etc. So far, my daughter only has to deal with weekly piano lessons, but the after-school things will inevitably increase, depending on our budget.

 

[pauro12]

This is some kind of new to me. @nahadef never thought that raising a child there would be so costly judging from what you've said.

 

[theBrokenMonkey]

I started a discussion about this, but it got kind of highjacked by a member's low self-esteem.
Japanese parenting

I will say this:
Kids sleep with the parents up to age 5 and beyond. Until high school and sometimes beyond, every waking hour is filled with activities, studying, cram school etc. So far, my daughter only has to deal with weekly piano lessons, but the after-school things will inevitably increase, depending on our budget.

We actually sleep all together in one big futon-"bed". Our boys are two and a half and ten months old. When we lived in Sweden our oldest boy slept in our bed until he was ten months and then got his own bed, when we cane back here space was an issue somee decided to sleep "japanese". At first I had some kind of romantic image of this, how it would bring us all closer together and such, after a few weeks I was sick of it. The lack of space, small feet in my face, in my back, warm like hell, someone pulling my blanket at four am and so on. Now, after a couple of months we are all kind of used to it - the kicking is not sombad anymore. I like it and it sure saves a lot of space, not to be underestimated in a small apartment. I do look forward to when the little one stop being breast fed and thus can sleep on his own though. But that mot not happen since, strange as it sounds, finding a child-sized futom seems very tricky. We can not fit four full size futons into our bedroom...

That cram school-club-frenzy is kind of scary to me. Poor kids... I hope mine will make it without having to do that.

 

[Glenski]

This sounds like someone is asking us to do a homework assignment for him.

Please explain why you want/need such detailed information about child-rearing.

 

[pauro12]

This sounds like someone is asking us to do a homework assignment for him.

Please explain why you want/need such detailed information about child-rearing.

I guess he wants his children to be raised like any other Japanese kids do for his children to grow the same way as those kids out there. To defeat social isolation as well, in case there will be a difference betweeon foreigners way of raising their children to that of the Japanese.

 

[Glenski]

I guess he wants his children to be raised like any other Japanese kids do for his children to grow the same way as those kids out there.

That won't happen unless he has a J wife to steer the kids down that path.

To defeat social isolation as well, in case there will be a difference betweeon foreigners way of raising their children to that of the Japanese.

"Social isolation"?

 

[FrustratedDave]

When we lived in Sweden our oldest boy slept in our bed until he was ten months and then got his own bed, when we cane back here space was an issue somee decided to sleep "japanese". At first I had some kind of romantic image of this, how it would bring us all closer together and such, after a few weeks I was sick of it. The lack of space, small feet in my face, in my back, warm like hell, someone pulling my blanket at four am and so on. Now, after a couple of months we are all kind of used to it - the kicking is not sombad anymore. I like it and it sure saves a lot of space, not to be underestimated in a small apartment. I do look forward to when the little one stop being breast fed and thus can sleep on his own though. But that mot not happen since, strange as it sounds, finding a child-sized futom seems very tricky. We can not fit four full size futons into our bedroom...

LOL, our kids are 10 and 7 and they have their own rooms (Oldest starting slepping in his when he was 7, youngest when she was 6), but half way through the night we usually find them in our bed. My daughter is the worst , she sleeps sides ways and kicks like a horse. So these days when she comes and jumps in our bed, I grab my pillow and sleep in hers. Even though the bed is way too small for me, I get a better sleep than sleeping with a mini Bruce Lee.

 

[Mello Saito]

it was a request from a friend of mine, she is really interested in japanese culture and how people are raised, she was also thinking that maybe she would raise her 'future' child in the same manner (and this was her exact words) "obviously something is wrong with how everyone in my family is being raised, and most children in this age (in america of course) are just completely rude beyond understanding, from what i see, the parents from Japan must be doing something right to have nice (or at least decent) behaved children". now im just the messenger, ive already put in my thoughts onto the matter with her (and kinda agree on how parenting is in america now and how children are not, well....'disciplined' in a manner that actually teaches them anything. ive watched my sisters grow up and my nephew, and the way they were disciplined (like any other child-teen in america) and the things they do and behave just goes beyond my understanding.

 

[pauro12]

That won't happen unless he has a J wife to steer the kids down that path.

"Social isolation"?

I guess her wife is Japanese? If I'm not mistaken. Social Isolation, because if you raise your child differently from other Japanese kids, for sure there will be a difference in terms of the general behaviour of the child, atleast differences in the stories that they can tell unto the child's friends about their parents wherein he/she might not be able to relate.

 

[theBrokenMonkey]

LOL, our kids are 10 and 7 and they have their own rooms (Oldest starting slepping in his when he was 7, youngest when she was 6), but half way through the night we usually find them in our bed. My daughter is the worst , she sleeps sides ways and kicks like a horse. So these days when she comes and jumps in our bed, I grab my pillow and sleep in hers. Even though the bed is way too small for me, I get a better sleep than sleeping with a mini Bruce Lee.

No! My faith in the plan for future sleeping quality improvment has been shaken. Maybe we should just keep the litte terrorists in our bed and make it bigger and bigger as they grow...

it was a request from a friend of mine, she is really interested in japanese culture and how people are raised, she was also thinking that maybe she would raise her 'future' child in the same manner (and this was her exact words) "obviously something is wrong with how everyone in my family is being raised, and most children in this age (in america of course) are just completely rude beyond understanding, from what i see, the parents from Japan must be doing something right to have nice (or at least decent) behaved children". now im just the messenger, ive already put in my thoughts onto the matter with her (and kinda agree on how parenting is in america now and how children are not, well....'disciplined' in a manner that actually teaches them anything. ive watched my sisters grow up and my nephew, and the way they were disciplined (like any other child-teen in america) and the things they do and behave just goes beyond my understanding.

Kids turn out to fit the society, or the culture, they live in. Raising a kid living in a the americas like a japanese without belonging to a japanese community will probably be pretty difficult, but maybe it can be done.