Emoni
先輩
- 20 Sep 2003
- 1,779
- 67
Many of the posters here either live or have visited Japan, so I felt that this would be a helpful topic.
When you first get a keitai in Japan, it can be quite a new experience. There are many features or functions that you are unfamiliar with. One aspect that people often make the serious mistake of glossing over is choosing their keitai email address.
There are rules to making a Japanese keitai email address. While unspoken, I'm going to break the silence and tell you all these secret rules that have been kept hidden until now!
Let's take a look at this example: [email protected]
Is this a Japanese email address? If you answered no, you are correct. Most people look only at the last @ezweb.ne.jp and assume that it is a Japanese email address. 97.7% of polled visiting tourists made the mistake of answering "yes" so do not feel bad if you were incorrect.
An expert looking at this this email quickly notices the presence of two nouns, and proper grammar and total lack of an emotion or state of mind word. Furthermore, there is a total lack of random periods tossed between words. This is clearly the address of a visiting tourist to Japan or study abroad student.
You see, making a Japanese email address is an art like writing Haiku and has strict rules that must be obeyed.
A proper Japanese keitai email must have these qualities.
1) The most complex is the choice of words. There must be an emotion/state of mind word, a color, verb(NEVER in past tense!), and a noun/adjective. These can vary in order, however, the above is considered the basic structure. Please note that while you can choose between an emotion word or state of mind, you can NEVER choose to but an emotion word AND state of mind into your email. The same rule goes with noun adjectives. Japanese words are acceptable, but usually only one or two MAXIMUM are used.
2) The symbols - and . must be placed randomly between the words. Absence of these is ok, but at least one MUST make an appearance. It is common for multiple symbols to appear between words, the most common being the . in this regard. The purpose of this is to insert the aspect of "thoughtful and deep retrospective silence" between the words. If the word is significantly profound you may find many periods before the next word.
3) Grammar cannot be correct, and at least one word must have a typo. This is possibly the most difficult rule. Blatant grammar rules are only for beginners. The true goal, is to create a grammar flow in the email address that appears correct, but creates a sense that something is deeply flawed without being identifiable. The typo is inserted like a Persian flaw into a carpet, it is to keep the email address from being infallible in the face of the kami that surround the user every day. One rule that many forget, never bother to capitalize when writing down your email address.
4) Total random abstractness is the goal. Do not pick simple colors or phrases unless you are beginning. Remember, creating of a Japanese keitai email is like writing haiku or tanka, there must be deep thought into each word choice. The more abstract, the better. Beware, do not choose overly complex words simply in an attempt to create complex abstraction. Complexity and large words often counteracts abstraction, showing that you are indeed simply a novice email address artist. You know you have completed the perfect sense of abstraction if you feel your brain break slightly, or hear a small popping noise an inch inside your left ear.
5) In 1998, it became a new optional standard to include a year-date at the end of the email address. Please note that this must always be only a two digit number. It is NEVER the full date!! 92 = ok 1992 = NOT ok. Heisei and Taisho dating is ok, but make sure to include the ten's place zero and not leave it a single digit number.
Now for some examples:
[email protected]
For the above example, please note the separation. Multiple periods, the noun and verb are combined (lack of separation is important too), and the slightest hint of suffering and anguish yet total inability to grasp around the idea that is attempting to be described in this address.
[email protected]
This email gives a sense of stiff, controlling, and confused feelings of love. Notice the cleaver usage of 96 instead of 69, and the surprisingly direct statement behind this email. This email is unique in that it uses the common -ing to create a mind bending abstraction at the beginning of the email. We are tempted with almost understanding the idea, but the first word is just out of grasp for understanding it's place in the story, never to be truly understood.
A few other examples could be
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
Now that you know the basics of creating a true Japanese email, why not try making a few your own?
When you first get a keitai in Japan, it can be quite a new experience. There are many features or functions that you are unfamiliar with. One aspect that people often make the serious mistake of glossing over is choosing their keitai email address.
There are rules to making a Japanese keitai email address. While unspoken, I'm going to break the silence and tell you all these secret rules that have been kept hidden until now!
Let's take a look at this example: [email protected]
Is this a Japanese email address? If you answered no, you are correct. Most people look only at the last @ezweb.ne.jp and assume that it is a Japanese email address. 97.7% of polled visiting tourists made the mistake of answering "yes" so do not feel bad if you were incorrect.
An expert looking at this this email quickly notices the presence of two nouns, and proper grammar and total lack of an emotion or state of mind word. Furthermore, there is a total lack of random periods tossed between words. This is clearly the address of a visiting tourist to Japan or study abroad student.
You see, making a Japanese email address is an art like writing Haiku and has strict rules that must be obeyed.
A proper Japanese keitai email must have these qualities.
1) The most complex is the choice of words. There must be an emotion/state of mind word, a color, verb(NEVER in past tense!), and a noun/adjective. These can vary in order, however, the above is considered the basic structure. Please note that while you can choose between an emotion word or state of mind, you can NEVER choose to but an emotion word AND state of mind into your email. The same rule goes with noun adjectives. Japanese words are acceptable, but usually only one or two MAXIMUM are used.
2) The symbols - and . must be placed randomly between the words. Absence of these is ok, but at least one MUST make an appearance. It is common for multiple symbols to appear between words, the most common being the . in this regard. The purpose of this is to insert the aspect of "thoughtful and deep retrospective silence" between the words. If the word is significantly profound you may find many periods before the next word.
3) Grammar cannot be correct, and at least one word must have a typo. This is possibly the most difficult rule. Blatant grammar rules are only for beginners. The true goal, is to create a grammar flow in the email address that appears correct, but creates a sense that something is deeply flawed without being identifiable. The typo is inserted like a Persian flaw into a carpet, it is to keep the email address from being infallible in the face of the kami that surround the user every day. One rule that many forget, never bother to capitalize when writing down your email address.
4) Total random abstractness is the goal. Do not pick simple colors or phrases unless you are beginning. Remember, creating of a Japanese keitai email is like writing haiku or tanka, there must be deep thought into each word choice. The more abstract, the better. Beware, do not choose overly complex words simply in an attempt to create complex abstraction. Complexity and large words often counteracts abstraction, showing that you are indeed simply a novice email address artist. You know you have completed the perfect sense of abstraction if you feel your brain break slightly, or hear a small popping noise an inch inside your left ear.
5) In 1998, it became a new optional standard to include a year-date at the end of the email address. Please note that this must always be only a two digit number. It is NEVER the full date!! 92 = ok 1992 = NOT ok. Heisei and Taisho dating is ok, but make sure to include the ten's place zero and not leave it a single digit number.
Now for some examples:
[email protected]
For the above example, please note the separation. Multiple periods, the noun and verb are combined (lack of separation is important too), and the slightest hint of suffering and anguish yet total inability to grasp around the idea that is attempting to be described in this address.
[email protected]
This email gives a sense of stiff, controlling, and confused feelings of love. Notice the cleaver usage of 96 instead of 69, and the surprisingly direct statement behind this email. This email is unique in that it uses the common -ing to create a mind bending abstraction at the beginning of the email. We are tempted with almost understanding the idea, but the first word is just out of grasp for understanding it's place in the story, never to be truly understood.
A few other examples could be
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
Now that you know the basics of creating a true Japanese email, why not try making a few your own?
