Do Japanese women make good wives?

In Japan the ツ"kicking-boyツ" is always North Korea and one reason for this is the abduction issue which is raised all the time. Yet, in Japan, you have a much bigger abduction issue but this gets little media coverage and of course the nationalist tainted government does not want to dwell on this problem. Therefore, is the ツ"wall of silenceツ" based on racism, double-standards, or is it about Japanization and superiority?

Before focusing on Japan and this nation allowing international child abduction it is important to note that Japan desires to be a permanent member of the United Nations. However, the same Japan will not ratify the Hague Convention and despite ratifying the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, it is a mere gesture because many aspects of this convention have not been implemented.

In recent times, many nations have put pressure on Japan about the seriousness of child abduction and the need to amend the legal system in Japan. Some people, including myself, who is very cynical, believe that even if Japan signs the Hague Convention, it will not have the desired result. After all, it will look good politically and help in Japan's bid to be a permanent member of the United Nations, however, the reality will be very different.

In Japan the family court does not have real enforcement powers and the police, even if provided with an address of an international child who was kidnapped, will do little. The ツ"wall of silenceツ" behind ツ"false smilesツ" will just continue and Japanese courts will still have many ways to block real reforms. Or if the courts try to enforce these laws then the police and other authorities will do little.

Also, I know of one foreign parent who went to the immigration office in Tokyo (name withheld for safety reasons) because I went with him to give him moral support. He took evidence of bank statements which showed that he had been paying a sizeable amount each month to support his two children. Not only this, the ex-partner wrote a letter supporting him. Despite this, the immigration official just asked the same question, ツ"Why are you in Japanツ" and then refused to give him a proper visa to stay and work in Japan.

At the same time, the same immigration officials were stamping visa's for sex workers. You see, in Japan, failed mixed-marriages and the desire to stay near your child means little; but stamping visas for sex workers, well then the immigration system is much kinder and understanding. However, to see ツ"a person brokenツ" while this was happening at the same time was truly sickening.

The Children's Rights Council of Japan was created by foreign victims of the Japanese legal system. Yet other nationals have been victims of two legal systems. For example the legal system of England and Wales does not care about deporting children with meaningless documents after sending their child or children to a non Hague Convention nation. Therefore, while this article is primarily focused on the failings of the Japanese legal system, it must be remembered that other legal systems are also failing children, parents, grandparents, and other family members who can no longer see ツ"special people.ツ"

However, the main difference between the United Kingdom and Japan, and all other G-7 nations, is that they have to abide by international legal documents, but Japan does not worry about this for this nation refuses to sign the Hague Convention. Therefore, the Children's Rights Council of Japan faces an uphill struggle because they have been campaigning for a long time and despite this, they have had little reward for their ツ"just cause.ツ"

I am not being negative towards the Children's Rights Council of Japan because if you check their website at Children's Rights Council of Japan (Japan Child Abduction) it is clear that all members are committed and they are giving more than 100 percent. Also, this organization is tenacious but the cold reality of day is that children are being manipulated and brainwashed by the respective Japanese parent who is violating international law.

Also, with each passing month and year, we are seeing Japanization and cultural alienation. Therefore, the years keep on ticking and grandparents and parents of abducted children are dying or losing their health. The mental and physical strain is also enormous and ツ"rays of sunshineツ" are few and far, but long periods of hopelessness and despair is common.

According to the Children's Rights Council of Japan ツ"there are 100 or more new cases of U.S. citizen children who are abducted to and/or retained in Japan.ツ" If we look at this figure it is clear that Japan is an abducting nation when it comes to children and ignoring international law. Therefore, binding legal documents from all nations are blatantly ignored in Japan and it makes a mockery of Japan complaining about the North Korean issue.

If we add the 100 or more children from America each year and then apply this to other nations, it is clear that we are talking about the illegal abduction of thousands of children. However, while nations like America and the United Kingdom will openly condemn North Korea; the same nations are quiet when it applies to children who are American or British.

Therefore, why doesn't the international community call for a United Nations motion against Japan? Also, why are nations like the United Kingdom sending children to Japan and other non-Hague nations during custody battles? After all, this is sanctioning child abduction by either blatant complacency or pure ignorance.

The Children's Rights Council of Japan states the following. ツ"Japan is the only G-7 industrialized country that is not a party to The Hague abduction convention, which is an important tool for those seeking the return of children abducted across international borders, or to exercise their rights of access to see them. Japanese law enforcement and social service agencies do not enforce custody orders, international arrest warrants, and extradition requests relating to international child abduction. Japan also indirectly supports international child abduction by not having a formal two-parent signature requirement for obtaining passports for minors.ツ"

The following statement sums up Japan correctly. It is a nation which discriminates to the full and refugee or asylum figures is further evidence of the right-wing nature of the elites within Japanese society. However, for parents, grandparents, and family members, it is not about ideology or a clash of culture; it is about justice, pain and sorrow, abandonment by their own national governments, betrayal, frustration, and so much more.

Therefore, is Japan ashamed by being a nation which supports the abduction of thousands of international children of mixed blood? Apparently not, so ツ"the road remains long and full of obstaclesツ" for foreign nationals and sadly it is too late for many. I will say it once more; Japan is the main nation for international child abduction when it applies to developed international nations. Yet silence, racism, indifference, and other negative factors, are at the heart of this nation and until a binding resolution is made against Japan then little will change.

If you marry a Japanese woman and your marriage breaks down, you have an awful lot to lose......
 
In relation to Jake W's thread...........

I bounced and old thread titled "Children's Rights Council Japan" up. It had a good info link in it.

Uncle Frank

 
If you marry a Japanese woman and your marriage breaks down, you have an awful lot to lose......
Jake, I have said it before, I feel for your situation. All personal feelings aside, you can't use a blanket statement and say that if you marry a Japanese women that you will have your child abducted.

The laws here certainly leave something to be desired in this area, but you can't paint the rest of the nations individuals with the same brush that is being used in your posts. As of the year 2006 there have been 13 unresolved abductions from Australia and there is currently 13 cases for the year 2010 which tells me that a lot of these cases are being resolved. So if there are cases being resolved it also tells me that a lot of "individuals" are using common sense and working things out despite the fact that the laws here are contrary to a fair resolution. What does this tell you about the individual?

Although my opinion is for joint custody, I am not going to comment of the laws here, b/c Japan has never recognised joint parental authority or shared "residence" after divorce and anyone wanting to live here in Japan should know that an accept it and abide by it and also realise that this applies the same for Japanese nationals and foriegners alike, so you can't claim discrimination there. ( I am not talking about abduction, but life after divorce here in Japan) I want to add that it is not always the mother that gets the child/children and in fact the percentage of fathers recieving custody of the child is similar to the United States. This dose not take away the fact that inter cultural marriages have a whole set of different problems to those who marry someone from their own culture.

But if you want to continue a discussion on divorce and life after in Japan I suggest you make another thread. But as it stands not all Japanese and for that matter Japanese women are like what you are saying.
 
I am not implying that all Japanese women are the same. People are people. There are good and bad in every race.

During my visit to Japan last month, I was fortunate enough to meet a number of Japanese parents, both male and female who are also victims of the system. One father had just been released from prison for attempting to retrieve his abducted daughter. Regardless of race and sex, anyone can be denied access to one's child(ren) under Japan's current laws.

When a system rewards someone for abducting a child and then punishes those who simply want to make contact with their child(ren) then something is horribly wrong!

When attempting to make contact with my oldest son, I was accused of being a stalker and threatened with police action. I am in contact with so many left behing parents who have not seen or heard from their children for years because the system simply fails them.

I for one will never give up on my two sons and will continue to fight for what I believe is a just and moral cause. One can not feel the pain and heartache until it has happened to them.
 
I am not going to add to the actual thread topic, just to add that if you choose to get married to a Japanese, get yourself your own stamp, register it at city hall, and keep that stamp hidden away from your other.

It's just a precaution, the Japanese have no way of verifying your signature as your true hancock, so a few Japanese have done all the paperwork for a divorce, forged the non-Japanese signature, ending in some poor dude having to pay a huge amount of money and trying to figure some way of staying in Japan in the hopes of seeing his children (some never do).

Like installing a smoke alarm, you hope a fire never happens, same here, create, register, and hide your own personal stamp in case the marriage goes downhill, but hope it never does.
 
Interesting Revnant and I think I will take that into consideration. Although I do have a stamp that is registered for my last name... now I wonder where it is...:?
Like Frustrated Dave has pointed out these laws do apply to everyone who is married to a Japanese person. My Brother-in-law is currently going through a divorce with his wife and the main sticking point is the visitation rights he will have. Right now he has been told to stay away or that he is not welcome to visit them. His problem is compounded by the fact that he lives in the Yokohama area (working in Tokyo) and his wife is living at her parents home in Osaka. I am not totaly in on the in's and out's of the divorce but it has been in the works for over a year now with no resolve so I can immagine what it might be like for an interracial divorce... hope I never find out.
Over all I think a woman is good to marry only if she meets your realistic criteria, not fantasy/ies. Same goes for women who are looking to marry a man. Too many times people fall in love with the idea of the person instead of the actual person.
 
That is awful about abductions, but I think divorce can be nasty no matter where your spouse is from. My friend is currently fighting a legal battle he doesn't deserve because the nasty (American) hell-demon he married pressed charges that he sexually abused his stepdaughters. It was a lie; all the evidence vindicates him, but he served prison time, and he's still in the middle of court battles and trying to get his name cleared. I mean, when he was arrested for this crime he didn't and would never commit, it was on the news! This went out to hundreds of thousands of people. She dropped the charges, but the government is still pursuing them.
The hell-demon, despite the fact that she has admitted her charges were false, won't let him see the two daughters he had with her, and in spite of the fact that after the divorce he had a terrible car accident and will probably be in a wheelchair for life, she still has the indecency to tell him he can't even do something as simple as buying Christmas gifts for his children. She was the one who ended the marriage by cheating, and the things she has done, such as going to a hotel with a boyfriend, and leaving her four children in the car while they did their business, are absurdly disgusting.

So, if you marry a selfish hell-demon, it doesn't matter what country she's from. She can still do absolutely terrible things to keep you away from her children. The system usually favors mothers in matters like this.
 
That is awful about abductions, but I think divorce can be nasty no matter where your spouse is from. My friend is currently fighting a legal battle he doesn't deserve because the nasty (American) hell-demon he married pressed charges that he sexually abused his stepdaughters. It was a lie; all the evidence vindicates him, but he served prison time, and he's still in the middle of court battles and trying to get his name cleared. I mean, when he was arrested for this crime he didn't and would never commit, it was on the news! This went out to hundreds of thousands of people. She dropped the charges, but the government is still pursuing them.
The hell-demon, despite the fact that she has admitted her charges were false, won't let him see the two daughters he had with her, and in spite of the fact that after the divorce he had a terrible car accident and will probably be in a wheelchair for life, she still has the indecency to tell him he can't even do something as simple as buying Christmas gifts for his children. She was the one who ended the marriage by cheating, and the things she has done, such as going to a hotel with a boyfriend, and leaving her four children in the car while they did their business, are absurdly disgusting.

So, if you marry a selfish hell-demon, it doesn't matter what country she's from. She can still do absolutely terrible things to keep you away from her children. The system usually favors mothers in matters like this.

I feel for your friend, YukiAnne. My horrible older brother impregnated his girlfriend, and she gave birth to my forth nephew/niece. My parent's grandchild. While the situation is not the same, it drives me mad to no end that she will not let me or my parents see my nephew. People suck.
 
It's a miracle I read everything in this tread. Now to respond:

First of I feel really any parent who is unable to see there children. As well as I feel sorry for the children missing there parents.

There is however a point a like to pres on as yukiAnna-san said. In most countries woman have they upper hand in custody cases over children. For some reason its almost always agreed to the child stay more with its mother. Just because she carried if to term and had to go trough labour.
With more I mean weekdays at mom en weekends with dad or worse every other weekend en some holidays.
This way of upholding law in most countries sickens me for the discrimination against men in general. Especially when it's the worst kind of divorcee where woman tries to do everything to hurt her ex out of some sort of spite.
This may sound harsh to say (maybe even more so because of my own gender)
JUST BECAUSE YOU GAVE BIRTH TO IT DOS NOT MAKE YOU TE BETTER PARENT

I find it a bit repulsing they way Japan treats these problem and I hope it will chance for the better.
Man have every right to see there kids as much as women do.

There is one more point I like to pres on as well.

1. Japanese women don't get fat like American women.
2. Japanese women may not do all the housework but at least they cook. American women watch soap opera and serve hot-dogs with chips from Lays.
3. As much as Japanese women like shopping. They always put their kids and husbands first.
4. My J-wife rarely raises her voice at me like my ex-wife did.
5. My J-wife doesn't complain when I have to travel away because of work. She understands that the man has to earn a living.
#3 sounds ridiculous, and is implying that American mothers/wives don't put their husbands/children first. #s 4 and 5 sound incredibly sexist/cheauvanist.
.

Can I ask why so many women are offended by this? I not joking. I'm amassed that it seems 4 and 5 seem sexist.

I think the first to depends on the woman themselves. But biologically speaking women are suppose to get a lither fatter as the years pas… meaning there suppose go from 60 kg to 66kg maybe instead of over doing it with 90 to 100kg . witch can happen in western countries because or lack moving and fatty foods if you don't watch it.* its just en example I don't know for sure about he measurements. If many are complaining there going to the extreme I can understand. I don't want my partner to inflate to 2 times as big.

What's wrong with 2? All there saying is I don't care about the house being clean. (where talking clan not tidy) After a (horrible) day at work its nice to see hot meal on the table and a considered partner (family) waiting for you.
All I'm saying is I like to see my hot meal after a crappy day at work as much as any guy would.
Seriously women ***** about how man are jerks cause the take housework and razing the kids for granted. Woman are no different in taking is responsibility as the soul breadwinner for garneted you know. After he comes home form work and stress (in other words hell) its not that strange a man wants a hot meal.
I try to work as much as I can apart from school because it makes me sick to think he would the support us both while where both going to school.
Nothing feels like love when your coming home to hot meal. *even if its 11.30 pm. He dos it for me and I do it for him.

Well for 3 you don't really need a Japanese woman if you ask me. And what your trying to say is just poorly constructer those way you look like a jerk,
But I get it. Its hard to imagine for most women. But put yourself in men shoe. Shopaholic partners are scary for anyone. Any reasonable person works and try to save cash. If you're the type of person who stays home who dos not work and then initialled yourself to everything because you're the partner and its your right…to spent its on €500 shoes and €600 matching bag when you know you cant a ford it… I see where there coming from
Its no different from a man who plunders you join account for your savings for the new car you need to go buy a TV.
In both case is why hell did you THAT
Its not about the shopping so don't soon in on it. It just means she considers al the family members needs before she buys stuff fore herself that she might not need. Not that's she the family lap dog or something. If there are things the families as a hole needs that's more important she won't go shopping for things she dos not l need.
Like i sad don't a Japanese wife for that just a considered wife.

A and 4 just because a women won't raise her voice (screams) at you dos not make her a doormat. They could have fond a better way to work problems out.
I remember in my second year of dating with my BF I saw a guy on the phone. There was a good 3 meters between us. His GF was screaming so loud over the phone it felt like she was there with us on the train. It was scary. We could hear why she was angry it sounded like some thing stupid to go so over bored about. They guy looked like he wanted to die of embarrassment. That look stuck with me. I really felt sorry for him
When we got of I told me BF that I truly felt sorry for the guy to have such girlfriend. He calmly looked at me and said I was no different when was screaming at him over the phone.
I was so horror struck I wanted to die on the spot. I did not want to near him or look him in they eye because I was so ashamed of myself.
I can't belief man put op with it. For the live of me I wonder why women put them through now that I know how truly horrible it is.
Everyone got jell at by there parents at least once. But being jelled at and be belittled like that by some who is suppose to me your partner is mortifying.
I can understand if some ]one had partner like that, they consider it a big plus when the new one dos not do that.

Anyway we worked it out and my harpy days or over.
There notching as scary a screaming women. Its not just the screaming it's the biting comments to. If you ask me 4 is not sexist. It just comes down to I like women who don't scream at me and try to work things out in a different way.

5 is not sexiest in my eyes.
Its nice to have a partner how just gets it.
I need go there for a x amount of time. Not because I like it but because I have. IT is not PAID VACATION.
I will go to god knows where do what I need to do to keep a roof over our heads.
And please don't complain because I wanted to see the kids school play to and al ready feel guilty as hell. I will miss my friends and family. Your just missing me. At least you have to kids for company, I will be on my own. Just be sure to welcome me home.

Just because men don't like to talk about there feeling dos not mean the don't have them.
Since most guys in the navy and army get that suppressed a.s.a.p. as a big no no(well anyway that's the case with most men from childhood to adulthood everywhere) its not that strange for there 5 pointer list to seems to be made by jerks

Just because its summed up the wrong way dos not make them jerks. The are just guys who came out a bad relationship and have found that current wife who happens to be Japanese and they revere to as there j-wife is hell of a lot better then there ex where to them.

its amassing how women can be so inconsiderate to men's feelings. Guys don't have it al that easy to you know. It takes two to tango and some times its women who cant dance to the steps.
 
Why would anybody in the world marry a fat lazy *** american woman? They are the worst on earth.

That is awful about abductions, but I think divorce can be nasty no matter where your spouse is from. My friend is currently fighting a legal battle he doesn't deserve because the nasty (American) hell-demon he married pressed charges that he sexually abused his stepdaughters. It was a lie; all the evidence vindicates him, but he served prison time, and he's still in the middle of court battles and trying to get his name cleared. I mean, when he was arrested for this crime he didn't and would never commit, it was on the news! This went out to hundreds of thousands of people. She dropped the charges, but the government is still pursuing them.
The hell-demon, despite the fact that she has admitted her charges were false, won't let him see the two daughters he had with her, and in spite of the fact that after the divorce he had a terrible car accident and will probably be in a wheelchair for life, she still has the indecency to tell him he can't even do something as simple as buying Christmas gifts for his children. She was the one who ended the marriage by cheating, and the things she has done, such as going to a hotel with a boyfriend, and leaving her four children in the car while they did their business, are absurdly disgusting.

So, if you marry a selfish hell-demon, it doesn't matter what country she's from. She can still do absolutely terrible things to keep you away from her children. The system usually favors mothers in matters like this.
 
Ahhhhh geeezzzzz !!!!!

Why would anybody in the world marry a fat lazy *** american woman? They are the worst on earth.

Thats kind of mean !! I'm sure there are a few skinny work-a-holics out there somewhere in the US ??

Uncle Frank

:eek:
 
Thats kind of mean !! I'm sure there are a few skinny work-a-holics out there somewhere in the US ??
Uncle Frank
:eek:
No, there aren't. Seriously if you want to date a good woman in the United States you have to date forgien women. I have only dated one american born woman and she was the worst girlfriend I have ever had.
 
wow one woman represents every women (over a few million or so)in the US for you..
i can bet there not al the same
 
Imagine coming home from an errand one day to find your children and spouse have vanished —and this horrifying discovery is only the beginning of the nightmare that will conclude with 1) your eventual divorce and 2) the complete and immediate alienation from your children.

No phone calls, no birthday parties, no taking a trip to the store for an ice cream cone, no parent-child visitation whatsoever. Never. And all without a good-bye hug.

This is a "Japanese divorce,'' where the first parent to the steal the kids wins custody, and the left-behind parent agonizes over his or her last memory of the children. If only I had known that I would never see them again ツ…

This incomprehensible reality, and the lack of any recourse in the Japanese family court system, has been, until recently, Japan's peculiar and hidden secret. While other nations think such a system is bizarre and even barbaric, in Japan it is normal for the left-behind parent to be completely "cut out'' of a child's life following the breakup of a marriage.

This peculiarity stems from the fact that in Japan 1) parental abduction is not considered to be a crime, and 2) only one parent is given custody following a divorce. Since Japanese police do not get involved in family matters, divorces in Japan routinely start with a proactive and strategic abduction of the children and end with the abductor being awarded sole, permanent custody. In other words, the kidnapper is rewarded for his or her audacity.

In most cases, the Japanese mother pre-emptively commits the first kidnapping, but thousands of fathers have likewise wrested custody from mothers in this same bizarre and devastating manner.

Global community is learning truth at last
With the number of international marriages exploding and the number of international divorces rising right along with it, Japanese peculiarities regarding child custody are affecting thousands of parents from countries other than Japan.

Now, international media outlets are accusing Japan of having "very strange'' divorce and child custody laws, and governments from other nations are asking questions. Japan is floundering for answers.

Japanese left-behind parents have now found themselves arm in arm with a team of unexpected allies: huge numbers of vociferous and outraged non-Japanese parents who are victims of the same injustice. Japan's Alice-in-Wonderland parental "kidnapping culture'' has yielded a legion of foreign parents, American and otherwise, who are victims of the same barbaric Japanese laws and the twisted courts that enforce them.

Now talented and motivated multilingual Japanese mothers and fathers are using social media to connect with worldly, multilingual parents from other countries.

Hundreds of tweets, blogs and Facebook messages are being posted hourly — in French, Spanish, English and Japanese — all strategizing to push the Japanese government to change its draconian domestic laws and to allow parental visitation, recognize joint custody as a natural right of the parent and the child, and to put an end to the all-too-common scourge of parental kidnapping of children.

For too long, the pain of the Japanese left-behind parents has been ignored by their government. They were told to get over it. This is Japanese culture. Move on. Forget about your kids.

Now, at long last, these heartbroken mothers and fathers are not only benefiting from the camaraderie and validation of foreign parents who understand their unique plight, they are basking in the sympathy of these foreign parents — sympathy that their own government has never given to them.

Amy J. Savoie is a second-year law student at the Nashville School of Law
 
Promising news! It was announced today that the Japanese government has agreed to sign Hague Convention on International Child Abduction. As much as I value tradition Japanese values outside of this subject, I think this is a definite step in the right direction and removes one of the major concerns regarding the OP's question. Looks like all that international pressure has finally paid off.
 
Signing the Hague

"Even though Japan has stated it will be signing on to the Hague Convention Treaty, Japan still has to prove to the the rest of the world it will adhere to it. Japan signed the United Nations Civil Rights of the Child Treaty. They have never enforced it.

There is an old saying 'Your actions speak so loudly that I can not hear what you are saying'. Until Japan returns illegally abducted American children, I have no reason to believe Japan will honor the intent nor the spirit of the Hague Convention Treaty.
 
Signing the Hague

It appears that anything that the Japanese government says or does can not be taken seriously. In March 1994 Japan signed the UN treaty on the Civil Rights of the Child and has still failed to adhere to it. I will never understand a system that allows a parent from preventing the other from being with their children. Japan is a blackhole for international child abduction which it sanctions. In my view they are just signing on in order to get the international community off their back. Nothing else will change. They will continue to use allegations of abuse and domestic violence to prevent any real change.
 
1. For my wife being full Japanese she was chubby at 15 3 years before she came to the US.
2. Not to all we spit pretty much 50/50 but she does most cooking unless I feel like barbecuing.
3. Mine is super cheap and gets super pissed if I buy something over 100 bucks without letting her know.
4. She just looks for a reason to yell at me at the top of her lungs.
5. Mine wont complain hell she would be happy anytime I'm gone she likes to be alone Im not sure why she married me.

I see absolutely no advantage in Japanese women that marry Westerners its usually for a reason as they cant get the upper control of a man in Japan like they might be able to abroad. I dont like putting my wife down she is still my wife. But she is defiantly not what I though a perfect or great wife could be. I feel my marriage in nothing more than just being close room mates, seriously if I could have done it over and seen the smoke and mirrors I would probably be with an American girl or single.
 
Why we American guys are lead to believe this stereotypical thing is totally BS. Japanese women on average not this little innocent girl that takes care of her man its an upfront act scam. Hell the last 7 out of 10 years my wife and I are basically just roommates. I doubt I would ever date an Asian women matter of fact Asian women shouldn't even accept dating white or American men you both will be setup for disappointment. Both parties are usually in it for very selfish reasons.
 
Hell the last 7 out of 10 years my wife and I are basically just roommates.

Nothing special there. That is common among marriages of ANY kind.

Both parties are usually in it for very selfish reasons.

Again, very common in any sort of marriage.

Why we American guys are lead to believe this stereotypical thing is totally BS.

I would say the greater BS we American men get saddled with is illustrated in the above quotes; that marriage is some sort of never-ending bliss that just increases and prolongs the joy of dating. Nope. That only lasts for so long, which is why I say to KEEP dating even after you get married (and I don't mean with your wife).

Marriage is a partnership. Its akin to a business. No need to be stuck up though...you can still be kind and loving in the context of a business-like partnership. But the kind of joyous romantic love many people keep expecting in a marriage is just not going to last for so many of us (a nod to some who swear that for them it does last. I remain skeptical, but I can only take their word for it.)
 
Nothing special there. That is common among marriages of ANY kind.



Again, very common in any sort of marriage.



I would say the greater BS we American men get saddled with is illustrated in the above quotes; that marriage is some sort of never-ending bliss that just increases and prolongs the joy of dating. Nope. That only lasts for so long, which is why I say to KEEP dating even after you get married (and I don't mean with your wife).

Marriage is a partnership. Its akin to a business. No need to be stuck up though...you can still be kind and loving in the context of a business-like partnership. But the kind of joyous romantic love many people keep expecting in a marriage is just not going to last for so many of us (a nod to some who swear that for them it does last. I remain skeptical, but I can only take their word for it.)



Yeah like that would work for me as I would be open for that as It's just a roomate relationship at this point. I would then have to deal with the crying, things getting thrown at me and other abuse. I would rather just have less money and be single. My wife said sure you can go out with others I dont care but when she found out I was really serious the **** hit the fan. This dosen't work for everyone.
 
It takes a special person to be able to handle the knowledge. My rule is basically hide it even if she says its okay. Saying its okay does not mean she wants to know about it. Seems obvious now that I say it, but its NOT obvious as it should be.

There are a lot of things people need to know in order to have a successful affair. There are lot of strategies, guidelines and details that people really need to know. Unfortunately this very important information is basically suppressed.

One of the most intolerable things in a relationship is having a partner who no longer wants to do it, yet won't let you do it with anyone else either.
 
1. For my wife being full Japanese she was chubby at 15 3 years before she came to the US.
2. Not to all we spit pretty much 50/50 but she does most cooking unless I feel like barbecuing.
3. Mine is super cheap and gets super pissed if I buy something over 100 bucks without letting her know.
4. She just looks for a reason to yell at me at the top of her lungs.
5. Mine wont complain hell she would be happy anytime I'm gone she likes to be alone Im not sure why she married me.

I see absolutely no advantage in Japanese women that marry Westerners its usually for a reason as they cant get the upper control of a man in Japan like they might be able to abroad. I dont like putting my wife down she is still my wife. But she is defiantly not what I though a perfect or great wife could be. I feel my marriage in nothing more than just being close room mates, seriously if I could have done it over and seen the smoke and mirrors I would probably be with an American girl or single.

I really do not have much advice to give you, but my wife (who is Japanese) is nothing like that. We have been married for 2 years, and together for 6. We almost never fight, she does not have a job, except as a homemaker (which she is awesome at, especially her cooking!) We do not have the most exciting lives, but that is partly because we are being frugal to save money for a large downpayment on a house, and for kids and stuff. And though I do not, and did not ever expect her to be, she is somewhat subservient/obedient (just how she was raised to be and her personality I suppose).

Anyhow, what I am trying to say, and while I am sorry things are not the greatest for you, Japanese women are not all alike. Marriage really just depends upon how two individuals go together, and everybody is different. Country and culture definitely plays a role, but it still really comes down to the individuals and how they adapt. Nobody is perfect, and I do not think there is such a thing as a perfect wife or husband, perhaps you just set your expectations for marriage a little high? Remember marriage for most of human history generally has been about survival, not romantic love. Maybe you should just try to look at things differently, change your expectations a little?
 
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