Why do Japanese women cry so much at work?

[basuotoko]

I have met many Japanese, so I've learned a lot about their working habits. For instance, I was talking about daily routines with a group of guys the other day and I learned that not one of them come home from work earlier than 9PM, and yet they wake up for work at 6. In addition to that, on the weekends they either have to come to the office or work on reports at home. I just don't understand how human beings could do this to themselves. Perhaps it's one thing if you truly love your work, but who wants to spend 90% of their conscious life in an office? Are these work conditions driving them to the edge of insanity?

My Japanese girlfriend told me last night that one of her female coworkers cried again at the office. When I asked why, she said it was because her counterpart in another area of Japan was sick so she had to take on that share of work as well, and couldn't handle it. This seems to be a regular occurrence in her department, and I know she's broken down a few times herself.

I remember reading another article on JREF from a teacher who worked at AEON, and was told during his training that he shouldn't be shocked if the female staff at his school broke down crying at times. So I've put the pieces together and now it looks like this must be pretty widespread across Japan. I've never seen my female coworkers break down in tears back in the US -- if they did, I'd be shocked.

As I've stated before on the forum, The Japanese outlook on life regarding work and leisure (or lack thereof) has become one of the most depressing areas of Japanese culture for me. Is the workload just too much for Japanese women to handle? Or is there more at play?

 

[Mars Man]

I just don't understand how human beings could do this to themselves. Are these work conditions driving them to the edge of insanity?

Yes !! Where the word 'them' means those who do so, regardless of on what spot they happen to be living on the face of the planet. It is, and has, driven them insane. What happens, of course, is that this insanity, becomes normality--and being normal, as we all like to suppose, is not being insane, now is it? So no. . . yappari it is driving no one insane, it is only making them more normal !!


As for Japanese women crying? Japanese men crying? Well, I would not think that it's an often enough of an occurance at the workplace so as to make it any national concern or common matter. Of the total time that I have been in workplaces here in Japan, I can recall no instances at all of workers crying at the workplace. Students? yes. The office people or other teachers? no. The workers in the restaurant/pub I did for a season? no.

I really feel the issue is moot.

 

[Mike Cash]

So you have:

1. A single secondhand anecdote about one Japanese woman crying at work

2. A single secondhand anecdote about Japanese women who might cry at work.

And from that you come up with:

So I've put the pieces together and now it looks like this must be pretty widespread across Japan.

and a thread title of:

Why do Japanese women cry so much at work?

Are you intentionally trying to be ludicrous?

 

[Mikawa Ossan]

I can think of one time where a woman cried at the workplace here in Japan, but I can think of twice where I saw a woman cry at work in America.

I don't think Japanese people are special in this regard.

 

[Elizabeth]

I really feel the issue is moot.

It's worse than moot in my opinion. That is to say, even more derogatory and ridiculous than the last one created to inform us of the "many times" women had been seen hanging out with men in their bathrooms...

 

[masaegu]

I've lived in Japan for almost half a century, and I've never seen a Japanese woman cryng at work. Not once. Incidentally, and interestingly enough, it sounds like busuotoko himself hasn't seen one, either.

"this must be pretty widespread across Japan"?? "one of the most depressing areas of Japanese culture for me"?? Gimme a break! Don't ruin my serene Sunday morning!

 

[ArmandV]

My Japanese girlfriend told me last night that one of her female coworkers cried again at the office. This seems to be a regular occurrence in her department, and I know she's broken down a few times herself.

So I've put the pieces together and now it looks like this must be pretty widespread across Japan.

The only thing "widespread" about women crying in the workplace seems to be peculiar to that particular office. Assuming that what occurs in one particular workplace doesn't necessarily mean that women in "all" Japanese workplaces break down into tears.

One Japanese gal called me from Tokyo and broke down into tears while complaining about her treatment at work. From that I don't assume that all Japanese women will call long distance to California for a shoulder to cry on.

 

[MadamePapillon]

If the workplace is too stressful it's enough to make ANYONE cry. Though women do tend to cry more freely (we have that luxury, I don't envy men for having to keep a tough front all the time XD), I assure you men do it to, and not just in Japan either.

All it takes is one really crappy day or enough bottled up emotions to bring about a good cry. ^^

 

[FrustratedDave]

I have been in a few "typical" Japanese companies in the past and I have seen a lot of girls cry at work or due to work related things. My first company was very even in the amount of men and women working there. I would have to say that over half of them cried once or more in the two years that I was there.( now this is probably over 15 girls in that section of work that cried) The working conditions were very tough and they really took pride in what they did. All this combined did make for a very stressfull working environment. My second company I worked at did not have as many women there, but again there were a lot of women that cried at work and I can recall many instances were I walked into an office with another co-worker conforting someone.(I am no longer there though).

I can think of two instances were I am now where I personaly have made women cry for expecting too much from them. This was not deliberate and I was only trying to get them work more efficiently, but that was the result.

From my experience women do tend to cry quite a lot due to work, but I feel it is b/c there is a lot of pride taken in regards to what they do

 

[epigene]

If the workplace is too stressful it's enough to make ANYONE cry. Though women do tend to cry more freely (we have that luxury, I don't envy men for having to keep a tough front all the time XD), I assure you men do it to, and not just in Japan either.
All it takes is one really crappy day or enough bottled up emotions to bring about a good cry. ^^

Agreed!! :
In my case, I just throw tantrums on my spouse.

 

[basuotoko]

Look, I'm not saying that you'll walk into any given Japanese office environment and find women (or anyone for that matter) crying, it's just that I've heard about it on several occasions from my girlfriend (not just one time) and I've read another thread about an English teacher who was told that he shouldn't be surprised if he sees it. What I was really looking for is firsthand evidence from other foreigners who have witnessed this in Japanese offices and what they suspect the cause is. This IS the culture shock forum after all, and I admit I suffer from it in a lot of regards. In fact, the more proficient I become in Japanese, the worse it gets.

I've never seen (nor heard from my friends) in America of people breaking down in the office. If you have, more power to you. But I never have. I have problems grappling with why Japanese people spend so much of their lives in the office over leisure time. I believe that the breakdowns at work are a result of these choices (or commitments) and I want to understand more about them so me and the people I care about can avoid them. If other people are helped along the way, great. At least I'm not writing about anime and kanji tattoos, huh?

 

[basuotoko]

It's worse than moot in my opinion. That is to say, even more derogatory and ridiculous than the last one created to inform us of the "many times" women had been seen hanging out with men in their bathrooms...

Speaking of first hand experience, I bet you have a wonderful view from your home in the US, Elizabeth. Coming from someone who uses Japanese restrooms on a regular occurrence, I can tell you that women getting a clear view or flat-out lingering in the men's room is not a rare, isolated incident.

 

[ArmandV]

Coming from someone who uses Japanese restrooms on a regular occurrence, I can tell you that women getting a clear view or flat-out lingering in the men's room is not a rare, isolated incident.

Besides Shinkansen trains with open windows to the men's uninals, the only men's room I can recall that the entry way was wide open with the urinals right in plain view to passers-by was at Atami Station. That was weird (and it was my first trip to Japan).

 

[SushiShin]

I respect female and male, and i don't like to see a good worker seeing crushed down, i know working for money isn't easy and fun at all, i know everyone wants to be paid for enjoying their life.
But if you look very good around you will see that life is hard.
In some people's eyes im small but for many people im a goodhearted and helpfull and respected youngman and for my age i have a lot of life-experience and i never give up nontheless the pain and grief i have to suffer.
And to cry is a normal reaction , everyone cries, its a signal in our head and body that makes us cry, its a signal that makes us a bit sad.

Everyone cries, there isn't a man nor woman in the whole earth who haven't cried if someone says he/she hasn't then he/she is a big fat liar!

I don't like if people cry it gives me a bad feeling inside. I watched a lot of drama's of different countries and none of them has ever let me start crying but when i look to one simple Jdoroma that is made very strong and very good, some tears starts to come out.

Now please read this and after this think 1 minute in Silence:

Only after the Last tree has been cut down,
Only after the Last river has been poisoned,
Only after the Last fish has been caught,
Only then you will find
that money cannot be eaten.

 

[Murs]

Speaking of first hand experience, I bet you have a wonderful view from your home in the US, Elizabeth. Coming from someone who uses Japanese restrooms on a regular occurrence, I can tell you that women getting a clear view or flat-out lingering in the men's room is not a rare, isolated incident.

Thats odd, why do those women go into mens restrooms. I mean, I can guess the obvious reason but I'm not sure. Fill me in please

 

[MadamePapillon]

Only after the Last tree has been cut down,
Only after the Last river has been poisoned,
Only after the Last fish has been caught,
Only then you will find
that money cannot be eaten.

That is so true. Unfortunately, as my mom always says: Money talks, bullsh*t walks. ^^ Not exactly sure what that means but it does have the ring of truth, doesn't it.

 

[SushiShin]

hehe that is also a good sentence

 

[made of stone]

I agree that the thread title might be better worded, but in my small experience I worked at one of the large eikaiwas for four years, and I did see many of the female staff there very upset and in tears from time to time, but never any of the men, (not a weekly occurrence, but perhaps once or twice a month on average).

In that specific environ, I put it down to the immense sales pressure (some of it akin to brainwashing, in my book) coupled with inept (at times) management, as well as the Japanese drive for perfection.

I have also, though, seen at first hand some of the effects of the pressure put on salaried Japanese workers in other spheres, for what would be considered not a very great wage here in the UK. Some of it can certainly be too much to bear (for some people). In that case, perhaps ladies feel it easier to let out than us stubborn men? (And if that is indeed the case, then lucky them!!)

 

[TuskCracker]

Why do women, .. stress of work

I just don't understand how human beings could do this to themselves. Are these work conditions driving them to the edge of insanity?

This happens a lot in the United States. Not much in France (wine to drink, cheese to eat, newspaper to talk about). Learn French and move to France

 

[ArmandV]

This happens a lot in the United States. Not much in France (wine to drink, cheese to eat, newspaper to talk about). Learn French and move to France

The downside is that the French think Jerry Lewis is a genius.

 

[Mike Cash]

That is so true. Unfortunately, as my mom always says: Money walks, bullsh*t talks. ^^ Not exactly sure what that means but it does have the ring of truth, doesn't it.

Either you or your mother have the expression backwards. It is "Money talks; bullsh*t walks".

It is used by busy people who don't have time to waste on trivial small talk, or proposals with no potential for profit on the other end. In other words, if someone comes to them regarding something which will make them money, the person is allowed to stay and talk. If someone comes to them with bullsh*t they are unceremoniously shown the door.

"Word to your mother" as Vanilla Ice would say.

 

[Davey]

I don't think Japanese women really cry more at work than in other countries. So I do not understand the title of this thread as well (which in my opinion is looking down on Japanese women... guess people do that a lot sometimes).

Dutch women can cry at work as well, my mother cried at work the last week... so?

 

[MadamePapillon]

Either you or your mother have the expression backwards. It is "Money talks; bullsh*t walks".

Oops, your right. That one got by me. Me and my typos.

 

[w1ngzer0]

I don't think Japanese women really cry more at work than in other countries. So I do not understand the title of this thread as well (which in my opinion is looking down on Japanese women... guess people do that a lot sometimes).
Dutch women can cry at work as well, my mother cried at work the last week... so?

I don't think its "downing"; more then curiosity.

I myself have cried at work. But, only because i was in immense pain inside and out. Not balling; just tears and no noise.

 

[Elizabeth]

I don't think Japanese women really cry more at work than in other countries. So I do not understand the title of this thread as well (which in my opinion is looking down on Japanese women... guess people do that a lot sometimes).
Dutch women can cry at work as well, my mother cried at work the last week... so?

There was even a Forbes on-line article with the title "The Dos and Don'ts of Crying at Work." Part of the reason women cry more is biological. So the particular stessor may differ but as a phenomenon it happens everywhere. My own workplace is relatively stress-free and there is still crying (two times that I know of in review sessions with the boss). Of course that doesn't mean it is necessarily acceptable. Anyone aiming to get ahead or be taken seriously in a hard-core corporate environment still of course has to either strategically excuse themselves or bite their lip and tongue together really hard and hope that itself distracts from the real pain.


http://www.forbes.com/home/2007/02/...tw_0213bizbasics_slide_8.html?thisSpeed=15000