Why man always wants sex ?

[Mike Cash]

you could get him a girlfriend that likes sex as much as he does...then the problem is solved for everyone right?

I'm guessing the origin of the problem is that she is/was cooperating and he thinks he already has a a girlfriend that likes sex as much as he does. <coolhandluke>"What we have heeeeyah......is failure to communicate"</coolhandluke>

 

[Doc]

Here's my advice, if you're boyfriend is that horny, tell him to watch porn and jerk off. It seems to me that he doesn't quite understand what it means to be in a relationship. But what can I say, I haven't been in a relationship. I'm just kind of ranting here.

Yes porn and masturbation are both good things. Medically speaking if a man let's loose for no more than five times a week he can lower his chances of prostate cancer by 60%. However, there is always a downside to every upside on things. Simply, if your man spends more time on the internet with porn than with you, then you my friend have problem.

Doc:ramen:

 

[Index]

Here's my advice, if you're boyfriend is that horny, tell him to watch porn and jerk off. It seems to me that he doesn't quite understand what it means to be in a relationship. But what can I say, I haven't been in a relationship. I'm just kind of ranting here.

How can you draw the conclusion that he doesn't understand what a relationship is from what Osaka wrote? She only said that her boyfriend wants to have sex a lot and that's all; don't you think you are being a bit hasty in judging him? What's the logic that says that liking sex means you can't understand relationships. And how does watching porn relate to your feminism thread anyway? Don't you think porn is what turns women into sex objects for men? That is exactly what Osaka said she DOESN'T want; ie. to be a toy on the bed.

Sounds like you're saying, "If you want to keep him, you have to do whatever he wants in bed". If he would dump her for having less sex, she's probably better off without him. It shouldn't be all about what HE wants, it should be about what the both of them want.

Brooker , that's not what I'm saying at all. As a matter of fact I did say that it is important that it is enjoyable for both parties involved. The points I was trying to make were

1) liking sex is not bad; as long as there are other positive aspects in the relationship then why worry about it (unless you don't enjoy the sex in which case I suggested finding new or more interesting ways of doing it); sex is a natural part of a relationship so why turn it into a gripe?

2) the fact of the matter is that however great the guy is in other respects, obviously sex is important for him. Therefore if that important need is not satisfied adequately, I think it's a fair bet he will eventually start looking elsewhere, or otherwise feel frustrated.

Point (2) is not intended to be taken as a threat of what will happen if you don't satisfy him in bed Osaka. It's just intended to give some insight from a psychological approach. If you genuinely don't enjoy sex than maybe the question you should be asking yourself is 'is this the right person for me?'. If you like him in other respects then see point (1).

 

[kirei_na_me]

I wish I had this problem...

 

[RockLee]

I wish I had this problem...

hehe...



On topic:
That's the thing when you are both young...that's why he probably is so interested in it, likes it and can't get enough of it. Some girls don't like their boyfriends to masturbate tho... ☝

 

[Ma Cherie]

How can you draw the conclusion that he doesn't understand what a relationship is from what Osaka wrote? She only said that her boyfriend wants to have sex a lot and that's all; don't you think you are being a bit hasty in judging him? What's the logic that says that liking sex means you can't understand relationships. And how does watching porn relate to your feminism thread anyway? Don't you think porn is what turns women into sex objects for men? That is exactly what Osaka said she DOESN'T want; ie. to be a toy on the bed.

Oh, of course I wasn't trying to judge him. And the feminism thread was just everyone's opinion about feminism . It's funny that you'd mention that, though. And I wrote that I never been in a relationship, so I can't understand her problem, it just irritates me when guys seem to want sex too much, while they're in relationships. Goodness, the things people put up with. ☝ I understand the points you were making.

 

[Elizabeth]

How can you draw the conclusion that he doesn't understand what a relationship is from what Osaka wrote? She only said that her boyfriend wants to have sex a lot and that's all; don't you think you are being a bit hasty in judging him? What's the logic that says that liking sex means you can't understand relationships. And how does watching porn relate to your feminism thread anyway? Don't you think porn is what turns women into sex objects for men? That is exactly what Osaka said she DOESN'T want; ie. to be a toy on the bed.

We have no idea from her post how much was being refused and how much cooperated, but a guy has been conditioned to expect that much sex every day and doesn't start listening/asking whether it's alright around the second or third or fourth time out it clearly does indicate either immaturity, a lack of experience or a lack of respect for women and the sexual differences between us.

Brooker , that's not what I'm saying at all. As a matter of fact I did say that it is important that it is enjoyable for both parties involved. The points I was trying to make were

1) liking sex is not bad; as long as there are other positive aspects in the relationship then why worry about it (unless you don't enjoy the sex in which case I suggested finding new or more interesting ways of doing it); sex is a natural part of a relationship so why turn it into a gripe?

2) the fact of the matter is that however great the guy is in other respects, obviously sex is important for him. Therefore if that important need is not satisfied adequately, I think it's a fair bet he will eventually start looking elsewhere, or otherwise feel frustrated.

Point (2) is not intended to be taken as a threat of what will happen if you don't satisfy him in bed Osaka. It's just intended to give some insight from a psychological approach. If you genuinely don't enjoy sex than maybe the question you should be asking yourself is 'is this the right person for me?'. If you like him in other respects then see point (1).

Genuinely enjoying sex and wanting it three or four times a day are quite different levels of appreciation. Obviously it is a problem for Osaka, it would be for me as well, or she wouldn't have had a complaint to begin with....that much at least shouldn't be written off with a "why gripe? it's natural after all."

 

[misa.j]

I wish I had this problem...

You crack me up, kirei! Sorry, seriously though, I really don't understand what your husband is thinking...

Osaka_night_cherry,
You should tell him when you don't feel like it. He may figure something out for himself.
I'm sure there are times when you and your bf's needs match well and enjoy the time together.

 

[Alter Zetsuei]

You can persuade him by telling him that sex is supposed to be pleasuring for both partners. He's obviously getting off, but the question is that is this the quality of sex that satifies you? I would think not since you're now having those other important emotions about respect mixed in and the sex isn't so romatic anymore. But you can also be concerned for his quality of sex. Tell him that if he lets go in-between longer periods, the whole experience would be much more satisfying and that right now he's actually burning you out. You don't need to ask for respect at this point. You can tell alone the way he responds to this if whether he really respects you or not.

In case he still doesn't understand, use other examples. If he's into cars, let's say, then use the example of switching gears. The car runs best when the gears are matched according to the speed of the car. Let's say you're the gear shifter and the car speed is the frequency at which you guys have sex. He can't be shifting gears unless he's at the proper speed, and doing so otherwise would ruin the car (which represents your relationship with him)

You do still love him, so if he's just gonna brush off what you present him then that's a big warning sign to you. He may be a sex addict, and sometimes sex addicts do cross moral boundaries that can destroy the relationship. So you really need to be serious about whether he's treating you as just a sex object or not. If he is, well you can't just demand a little maturity from the boy. At this point, he probably doesn't even know what's eating him (no pun intended). But you have to try your hardest at every level to get him to understand your feelings about this. Probe him too (no pun intended).

Ask him how he thinks of you during sex. Would he enjoy you just as much if not more so even without having the ability to have sex? What are his desires about sex... maybe he actually has true temptations that motivate his sex drive but he hasn't tried those things yet. And, if you two finally do it/them, would his sex motivation decrease. It's subtle, but still could have an impact.

If you know he truly understands you, then he respects you and he will change.

 

[cicatriz esp]

1. Contrary to what some guys will tell us all, it's not harmful or unhealthy for a man or boy to go without sex. Parts of us will not turn blue or swell.

2. If a girl does not like her boyfriend to masturbate, she is clearly not ready for a relationship with a male.

3. Girls: to solve the above mentioned problem, do not date men in their late teens/ early 20's. If you do, it will usually become an issue.

 

[Doc]

1. Contrary to what some guys will tell us all, it's not harmful or unhealthy for a man or boy to go without sex. Parts of us will not turn blue or swell.

2. If a girl does not like her boyfriend to masturbate, she is clearly not ready for a relationship with a male.

3. Girls: to solve the above mentioned problem, do not date men in their late teens/ early 20's. If you do, it will usually become an issue.

In all honesty (and I'm going to sound bad here) if I found somebody that I would eventually love and end up having sex when the relationship looks like a keeper, I'll probably be wanting sex quite a bit for a little while. The main reason why is because I'm still a virgin, never dated, and would probably be like on drug high when I finally do get to have the experience. Nah, actually I'm just pulling your leg. Cicatriz is right though, it doesn't kill a man not to have sex (however it does become harmful if a man doesn't "release" himself once in a blue moon). Shoot, I probably would be too modest and shy to even ask for it. Even if I finally did get into a sexual relationship I would know my limits and bounds for the other person and respect their limits and needs.

Doc:ramen:

 

[Index]

We have no idea from her post how much was being refused and how much cooperated, but a guy has been conditioned to expect that much sex every day and doesn't start listening/asking whether it's alright around the second or third or fourth time out it clearly does indicate either immaturity, a lack of experience or a lack of respect for women and the sexual differences between us.


Genuinely enjoying sex and wanting it three or four times a day are quite different levels of appreciation. Obviously it is a problem for Osaka, it would be for me as well, or she wouldn't have had a complaint to begin with....that much at least shouldn't be written off with a "why gripe? it's natural after all."

I agree with you, but I interpreted her problem differently it would seem. She asked whether her boyfriend can't think of anything but sex, and expressed a desire NOT to be treated as a sex toy. If it's too much because she really doesn't like it then of course she needs to communicate this to him and he should respect her opinions and desires otherwise there's no foundation for a relationship. Alternatively, my point was that a desire to have sex often does not mean one is inadequate in other respects in regards to the relationship, or that high sex drive is mutually exclusive with love or affection.

 

[Tim33]

hehe...



On topic:
That's the thing when you are both young...that's why he probably is so interested in it, likes it and can't get enough of it. Some girls don't like their boyfriends to masturbate tho... ☝

I think if a girl does not like her man to masturbate then she is going to end up with serious problems.

If there is little sex in the relationship then masturbation is going to happen alot. If the girl has a problem with that then they will end up without a man. Im not saying here that relationships are based on sex but if i got nothing at all that relationship will be over instantly. Its not the main point of a relationship but it is still compulsory.

I also think any girl that has a problem with this is themselves quite selfish and controlling.

Personally, my b/f doesn't like to have sex as much as I do and it used to annoy me but I got used to it and now we compromise so it's good

Where can i get me someone like you????

 

[Ikyoto]

Personally, my b/f doesn't like to have sex as much as I do and it used to annoy me but I got used to it and now we compromise so it's good

(raises hand) ahem! (cough)*TRADE UP*(cough)

 

[ralian]

You need to talk to him honestly. He needs to understand how you feel.
It is very important that you two talk and understand each other's needs.
Don't just put up with it. It's not right.
Don't believe that you have to satisfy him.
He needs to learn, and grow up.

 

[mad pierrot]

This thread is living proof that sex sells.

 

[Ikyoto]

it sells great.. you want fries with that?

 

[mad pierrot]

I've always believed fries were the sexiest of the fast foods.....

 

[Doc]

This thread is living proof that sex sells.

Whose buying?

Doc:ramen:

 

[mad pierrot]

I am. Sex fries. From Ikyoto.

 

[Doc]

I am. Sex fries. From Ikyoto.

I wish I knew what sex was like to begin with.

I guess I'm not missing out on much since I hear sex is highly overrated anyway.☝

Doc:ramen:

 

[Ikyoto]

BITE YOUR TONGUE!

or someone else's...

To paraphrase, "When it's good, it's very good. When it's bad, it's even better!"

 

[Doc]

BITE YOUR TONGUE!

or someone else's...

To paraphrase, "When it's good, it's very good. When it's bad, it's even better!"

I don't believe you.

Doc:ramen:

 

[Ikyoto]

Bee doing it for a little under 30 years and when it's with the right perosn and the right mood, it's jsut about the best feelling you can have. Better than drugs and a hell of a lot less risky!

(DOn't ever do anything without know who you are with and using the right protection! Anything less is a risk that could end your life)

 

[Doc]

That's why I'd rather be in celibacy for the rest of my life.

Doc:ramen: