Who would Jesus bomb?

[Bob in Iowa]

The answer to this and other perplexing questions can be found here on the website of Landover Baptist Church where the "unsaved are unwelcome", one can learn to dress like a Christian. and where it is reported that the Easter Bunny was blugeoned to death before a crowd of cheering Baptists.

Enjoy!!!

 

[jeisan]

bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!

 

[Maciamo]

One of these "Only in America" stories.

 

[mad pierrot]

HA!

That's some funny sh*t.

 

[Nothingness]

Its a mouse pad...

 

[Shooter452]

I hope that this is sarcasm, but I cannot be certain!

Some of my best friends are Baptists. But if this is anything like the way that they think, I am loading up my Mossberg shotgun (the police version, with the long 8-round magazine tube and the 20" bbl...the one I reserve for social work) and making ready for the purge to come.

The sad thing is the fact that this religious intolerance is not beyond the scope of possibility. Ever since one of my neighbors in Albany, GA offered to "wash me clean in the blood of the Lamb" and cure me of my Papist ways, I have been darkly suspicious of Baptists and Pentacostals.

Still, I maintain that these dangerous people must be granted the freedom to rant. But it can get scary out there!

Homines quod volunt credunt

 

[Mycernius]

That is some fuuny $h!t. I loved the email archive.

 

[Bob in Iowa]

That is some fuuny $h!t. I loved the email archive.

I stumbled on this website a few days ago, and just about had a laughing fit. One of my favorite sections is on "Bible Based Sexuality", containing such articles as "Take back Valentines Day: Get a Heart on For Jesus" and "Tampons: Satan's Little Cotton Fingers".

Here's an excerpt from a piece called "Is Breastfeeding a Gateway Sin"

Landover Baptist Creation Scientists then revealed the shocking results of a 4-year study that links breastfeeding to early sexual activity among youngsters. "We found that many young people who engage in breastfeeding, even if they stop at the age of 2 - oftentimes partake in what secular humanists call, 'third-base sexual activity' before marriage," said Dr. Jonathan Edwards. "Our study also concludes that breastfeeding leads to sloppy kissing, drooling, teat fetishes, and cattle buggery." Creation Scientists also expressed concern that the hardened nipples of a Christian woman who is breastfeeding indicate a sinful state of sexual arousal.

 

[Nothingness]

​

 

[Mal]

The sad thing is the fact that this religious intolerance is not beyond the scope of possibility. Ever since one of my neighbors in Albany, GA offered to "wash me clean in the blood of the Lamb" and cure me of my Papist ways, I have been darkly suspicious of Baptists and Pentacostals.

Ah a fellow Catholic How are you getting along? Personally I'm recovering myself

And yes, those people are some scary motherfiretruckers. I keep trying to explain to people that theology is not a non-intellectual pursuit. Case in point: Southern fundementalists.

But meh, thats definately a Catholic view point. We're used to all our theologians being intellectuals. America's fondness for religion combined with our disdain for intellectualism is a lethal combination (ever heard the phrase "intellectual elite" bandied about in a condescending manner? They're the religious rights favorite target...)

Btw, Landover Baptist is a satire site. Unfortunately the satire sometimes blurs with the reality of the situtation