ichigomilk
Registered
- 8 May 2017
- 3
- 0
- 16
I am a 25 years old foreign girl who has I've been living and working in Japan for a few months. I've always loved this country, I made a lot of friends and I am living a beautiful experience.
But… there is a thing that is driving me nuts. I am having troubles in understanding how Japanese society works in term of love and relationships. I know well that Japanese people are not really prone to express emotions, to declare feelings or to be bold. Communication is a big issue here, especially for people that likes to be straight as I often do.
I had two love interests since I got here, but no way to get a date or let a relationship start, somehow.
First crush: my roommate.
We shared a lot of experiences while living together for about a month. He looked immediately interested, especially because he got nervous around me (he couldn't even watch me in the eyes…). Friends around us confirmed that he liked me and spur the relationship, but actually he never expressed his feelings. He told me "he is a shy boy", so I decided to break the ice and I invited him out.
Result? He said he was busy that day and he couldn't. I thought "never mind, next time then", but I asked him again and he answered "I am really busy now, sorry". What drives me nut is not his impossibility to meet me, but the fact that he doesn't reschedule! Saying something "I am sorry, I can't this time, but what about next..." is too difficult?
My conclusion is that, in the end, he doesn't really care about me… even if he indirectly shows the contrary, that's confusing. Is my mind working differently?
Second crush: one of my co-workers.
At the office we usually have very little chats. Not long ago he got drunk during a company party and he started insistently to talk to me. He ended up with "why don't we go to drink something together one of these days?". I said "yes, hurray!" and I asked for his number. Alcohol probably helped him to get a little bit bolder and he made the first step. A few days later, at the office, he quickly told me "Shall we meet?", adding a very awkward "I love you" in English. I tried to stop him to ask for details, like when-how-where, but he was already fled to his desk after three second.
Well, then… same thing happened. I texted him asking if he was available to meet. He said "Sorry, I have some errands tomorrow" and he didn't reschedule. The funny fact is that, differently than the first time with the roommate, he is the one that started it.
I really do not know how to interact with them… They show interest at first and then, when the moment to meet and know more about each other arrives, they step back and act cold.
I've been told from a female friend that they find me "too beautiful, like an actress" (?!) and so they get "scared" beforehand (but I don't really find this plausible…).
I thought they may have no interest in dating someone, but then why they seem attracted? What is this lack of romance?
Are they acting like that because I am not Japanese or is it the standard?
... what's wrong with them?! :banghead:
But… there is a thing that is driving me nuts. I am having troubles in understanding how Japanese society works in term of love and relationships. I know well that Japanese people are not really prone to express emotions, to declare feelings or to be bold. Communication is a big issue here, especially for people that likes to be straight as I often do.
I had two love interests since I got here, but no way to get a date or let a relationship start, somehow.
First crush: my roommate.
We shared a lot of experiences while living together for about a month. He looked immediately interested, especially because he got nervous around me (he couldn't even watch me in the eyes…). Friends around us confirmed that he liked me and spur the relationship, but actually he never expressed his feelings. He told me "he is a shy boy", so I decided to break the ice and I invited him out.
Result? He said he was busy that day and he couldn't. I thought "never mind, next time then", but I asked him again and he answered "I am really busy now, sorry". What drives me nut is not his impossibility to meet me, but the fact that he doesn't reschedule! Saying something "I am sorry, I can't this time, but what about next..." is too difficult?
My conclusion is that, in the end, he doesn't really care about me… even if he indirectly shows the contrary, that's confusing. Is my mind working differently?
Second crush: one of my co-workers.
At the office we usually have very little chats. Not long ago he got drunk during a company party and he started insistently to talk to me. He ended up with "why don't we go to drink something together one of these days?". I said "yes, hurray!" and I asked for his number. Alcohol probably helped him to get a little bit bolder and he made the first step. A few days later, at the office, he quickly told me "Shall we meet?", adding a very awkward "I love you" in English. I tried to stop him to ask for details, like when-how-where, but he was already fled to his desk after three second.
Well, then… same thing happened. I texted him asking if he was available to meet. He said "Sorry, I have some errands tomorrow" and he didn't reschedule. The funny fact is that, differently than the first time with the roommate, he is the one that started it.
I really do not know how to interact with them… They show interest at first and then, when the moment to meet and know more about each other arrives, they step back and act cold.
I've been told from a female friend that they find me "too beautiful, like an actress" (?!) and so they get "scared" beforehand (but I don't really find this plausible…).
I thought they may have no interest in dating someone, but then why they seem attracted? What is this lack of romance?
Are they acting like that because I am not Japanese or is it the standard?
... what's wrong with them?! :banghead: