That is exactly what makes me loose trust in human race. Of course people change and move on with their lifes, but how can you be so indiffrent and outright rude to your former friends and partners...? Especially that we parted without any fault from either side, no dramatic events, just our lives have went seperate ways. Although she wanted to maintain long distance relationship and reduce me to the "vacation boyrfiend" status..
No offence Wally, hopefully you'll not end up in this situation, but just in case, I'de love to be there if you ever meet Junko again and find her with her husband and 1-2 kids.
I dont know of many Japanese women who run off with old gaijin f**k-toys after so many years apart, when they have moved on with their life with a secure home and income from a more socially acceptable husband, and kids.
Western women in western countries seem to sometimes on the rare occassion dump their husband and kids for an old flame....but as far as i know, its practically un-heard of in japan.
Basically if you do go to Japan just to try and find Junko, again, i, and everyone else highly advise against it.
She's forgotten you, moved on, she cares not, chances are she has a family, and not only is it downright near impossible to conceive a married japanese women leaving her family and kids for some one night stand gaijin, and if she doesnt have family, its obvious by now even to you she didnt care that much, she has a life in Japan, and despite the hollywood scene where teenager love-interests meet up again decades down the line and the old juices start flowing and love is in the air, this is not reality, chances are she'll just be wierded out and call the police if you persist.
Let. her. Go.
Let Japan go.
you + wife = marriage
Try to preserve and salvage what you got and just STOP THINKING OF JUNKO.
You couldnt have loved her more, understand?....she was a fling....you had sex once or twice, then you left, and started trading emails and letters which as you have told us werent exactly the correspondance of a couple madly and deeply in love.
Honestly from all i've read i dont even think you were that sincere either...
Junko is merely the manifestation in your mind of your current problems.
Deal with your current problems and you'll deal with Junko, as i think you said, Junko wasnt even a problem until recently durring your marriage.
But persist to deceive yourself that Junko is infact the problem and suddenly you love her mroe then your wife years after you two split up and got on with your lives, and it will just f*** you over even more, because its a false conclusion to reach.
Its illogical, even in the realm of emotions, when my grandpa died and left this world, i didnt suddenly start thinking of my long dead hamster and decide to dig him up, its like your issues, your marriage is very ill and suddenly you remember an old dead relationship so now you want to dig it up, but its dead, just a rotting corpse of fading memory, nothing more, nothing less, never to be again.
I hope you and your wife manage to work it out, just yeah, some of us are worried your still dwelling around Junko, or maybe a crisis of some sort making you want to go to japan and remind you of the good ol army days.
Infact maybe thats it, Junko...Japan....its just a safe zone for you...your marriage, maybe other parts of your lfie arent as great, so you remember a happier time and you to relive it....its in the past...you have a wife who loves you, thats better then the empty promise of a passed youth...some might call this a mid-life crisis...(though your not middle-aged...) anyway, hope your managing to sort stuff out wally, i reckon you have alot of worries on your mind, thankyou for sharing them with us....though i doubt we've really helped much, it was a noble thing to share your feelings and troubles with us...i hope we've managed to honour that with at least some helpful advice.
