Virginity

[Putrefaction]

Let's go with the first two options, I can safely say that I am not gay.

Virgin men are seen as gay

I'll attest to this as was previously shown, and it's ******* annoying as hell. I'm not conservative by any means, but in dating (on the few times that I consider, but never do) I'm extremely conservative. In a relationship I imagine I'd be quite liberal.

 

[becki_kanou]

We all know it is wishful thinking to think the guys will be virgins. Very few are for it is for some reason an insult to there manlyness. I don't know if anyone would agree with me but that is how I see it. Virgin men are seen as gay or unable to give children to the woman. A man good at sex makes a good mate. That is just the mind set of our time with make sense unless you are very conserative.

So you think it's important for a woman to "pure" to "honor" her husband, but her husband has no need to honor her? That doesn't sound like a very equal relationship to me.

I would say that a woman good at sex makes a good mate as well. One of the main causes of marital difficulties is sexual incompatibility, so in my opinion it only makes sense to make sure you are sexual compatible with someone before committing to live your lives together.

I'm not saying that people should go out and have sex with everyone they have the opportunity to, but experience and knowing what you like, what you dislike, and how often you like it can make the difference between a happy and fulfilling marital relationship, and a divorce or infidelity due to incompatibility.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[bakaKanadajin]

People should have sex and experience sexual activity with someone they care about when they feel ready. That for me is the bottom line. Age (to a degree) is irrelevant, because people develop at different times.

I do believe of course for the first time the two people should be close in age, simply because sexual predators and those taking advantage of younger individuals and all that, that is not good. But my point is, if two people who both are 14-16 feel ready, genuinely like each other, and somehow fumble their way into it and have sex one night, this is NATURAL. Can we really deny that what they did was anything less than natural?

And this is out of our hands in a sense. If they're gonna do it, they're gonna do it. Why run around trying to control them? More importantly, if its going to happen what is our responsibility as a society?

1) Educate them so they do it safely. Educate means give them information about the pros and cons so it will have been their decision, and it also entails giving them the means to do it safely. (birth control, etc)

2) Not apply weird social ills like religion, guilt, pressure, badges, rings, etc., to the equation, so as not to warp their mentality and make them feel as though they've done something dirty or wrong.

I also firmly believe that when repressive adults (adults who missed out on it themselves, are conservative, sexually repressed themselves, bitter, jealous, overly religious, etc) apply their thinking to young people and warp their minds about the role of sex (it's evil, you'll go to hell, masturbation is evil, condoms are evil, you should wait, you're not ready,) it in turn warps young peoples minds and this is in a sense a mild form of abuse. It prevents normal mature sexual development (sexual development is not ALL physical, the mental aspect is equally critical)

Teens suffering from extreme guilt, pressure, conflicting views, lack of education, fear, etc., this kind of influence leads to sexual misfunction, sexual deviance, poor development of relationship skills, many problems. You're stunting their growth instead of accepting it and guiding it in the most helpful way. It's akin in my mind to things like female circumcision, foot binding, etc.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[Putrefaction]

Why run around trying to control them?

Because most of the times kids can't show self control. I have 6,000 dollars worth of guitar gear and I just bought another 2k guitar. I've been playing for 2 years. Out of 12,000 I have 1000 left. And I was just considering buying a HDTV. Yeah, I know, I'm not the shining example of a rational person, but imagine yourself at 12. Any impulse was probably taken, right?

1) Educate them so they do it safely. Educate means give them information about the pros and cons so it will have been their decision, and it also entails giving them the means to do it safely. (birth control, etc)

Education, about at least what, 99% of the time, leads to experimentation. Think of the South Park episode where they are taught about sex.

I also firmly believe that when repressive adults (adults who missed out on it themselves, are conservative, sexually repressed themselves, bitter, jealous, overly religious, etc) apply their thinking to young people and warp their minds about the role of sex (it's evil, you'll go to hell, masturbation is evil, condoms are evil, you should wait, you're not ready,) it in turn warps young peoples minds and this is in a sense a mild form of abuse. It prevents normal mature sexual development (sexual development is not ALL physical, the mental aspect is equally critical)

I chose to repress myself. What other people do is their buisness, I don't give a crap about condoms or birth control.

 

[becki_kanou]

Because most of the times kids can't show self control.

Which is exactly why they need education.

Education, about at least what, 99% of the time, leads to experimentation. Think of the South Park episode where they are taught about sex.

As does lack of education. Kids are going to experiment whether they are taught basic sexual safety or not. So out of the two choices, experimenting with or without knowledge of safe and responsible sex, I think it's clear which is better for teenagers and for society as a whole.

I chose to repress myself. What other people do is their buisness, I don't give a crap about condoms or birth control.

If you are not having sex, obviously you have no need of condoms or birth control. If you choose not to have sex, good for you. That's just as valid a choice as choosing to have sex. Just don't look down on others if they choose differently than you.

 

[bakaKanadajin]

becki_kanou summed it up well.

The whole point in education is to provide them with the information and tools necessary to make their eventual and inevitable experimentation as safe as possible. Think of it as sending your kid out for peewee football. You'd want him to have a helmet, pads, cleets, etc.; you wouldn't want him chancing it with no equipment on. Can you prevent him from playing? Not really.

Education does not 99% of the time lead to experimenting, that's a statistic you pulled out of your netheregions. All one can say is that education leads to awareness, and awareness leads to safety. It's not about trying to prevent anything or curb anything, it's about reducing risk factors.

Lastly, if you choose to repress yourself that's fair enough, just try to delineate the reasons why you're doing that. Are they truly your own reasons? Most kids are impressionable and will, in their budding and impressionable condition, latch onto certain ideas that bring them certainty and safety. For some that ends up being chastity, albeit for the wrong reasons and contrary to what they truly want. The main motivator there is fear. Fear of God, fear of sex itself, fear of acceptance, fear of their parents, fear of their bodies, etc. Living in fear, albeit indirectly applied and well-meaning, is not healthy.

 

[Kinsao]

I think there isn't enough value given to male virginity, as Gackt's Queen's post illustrates quite well. People shouldn't get hung up about virginity anyway, but when they do, it always seems to be female virginity they get most hung up about. If girls/women placed more value on the virginity of boys/men, maybe they might value it more for themselves.

 

[Mc toster]

it was nothing to me but was for her (it obviously both are first times) i didnt think much of it and still dont it just sex to me but i guess with a person that u care for its much much more then that and i understand that now

 

[Adulado]

If I get offended if a retard lay a finger on a single hair of a girl I like then imagine if she loses virginity.

 

[Adulado]

I think many cases in which people lose or want lose virginity is this: They feel insecure because there's no guarantee for them if they will get a virgin or not in marriage. So to feel even or at advantage they have to lose virginity. So I think that's when faith comes into role.

 

[Red5]

Virginity ...........

In Islam and most religions , it's forbidden to do that and there is way to do that by marriage ... This is Religious point ..

and religious point is the true that we have to walk with ..

but unfortunately, nowadays most people don't walk with religion and do
only what they want or what make them happy ...

-Now this is my point that it depend totaly on what's happening now ....

for me : in my childhood I was falling in asian girls ( so I study Japanese and chinese )
and until now I'm falling in them ...
in my country I didn't think to lose my virginity with girl in my country either in marriage or not ....
but maybe when I'm falling in Love with asian girl and she want my virginity , I can't say NO ...this is the true that we're livig with ..

Finally I'm speechlees , but I wanna say

Love Can Do Some Thing You Don't Expect

 

[Manahaki_Kaori]

This is a very tough subject, seeing as everyone has their own opinion. But from what I've seen is if someone loses their virginity, and she's a female, then the story goes around that she's some kind of ****. If the guy loses his virginity, he gets praised somewhat and he gets bragging rights. It's all sort of sexist to me, but it's none of my business whether a girl loses her virginity or not (Unless it's someone in my family)

unfortunately, nowadays most people don't walk with religion and do
only what they want or what make them happy ...

It may not be that way in some cases, most girls do feel insecure and just want to make the other person happy. Religion probably has nothing to do with it, and I've seen people who walk without religion who are wholefully and genuinely happy with their lives virgins or not. My best friend Kelsey is a good example, she's really into dance, she loves her family, and she's on her way to a good acting career. I suppose I'm going a bit off-topic, but the thing is, is that she's a virgin, and plans to stick that way until she decides she wants to be married and have kids, but she has no religion. Religion, in my opinion, hardly has anything to do with it. She's choosing this way completely on her own.