Mamoru-kun
Wanderer
- 25 Aug 2005
- 256
- 9
Rich303 said:
Don't worry, I can affirm you that woman with high libidos (I mean, -very high-, even for Western criteria) exist. Believe me ;-)
Virginity
- Thread starter LilKewtyChic
- Start date
Don't worry, I can affirm you that woman with high libidos (I mean, -very high-, even for Western criteria) exist. Believe me ;-)
Elizabeth
先輩
- 22 Apr 2003
- 9,839
- 135
It also often doesn't show up until much later in marriage....not that you often need to actually have sex with someone to appreciate their interest in it.
Like most of the counsel on this thread, it's something most of us come to understand on our own and deal with in our own way and with others directly involved. It's pretty absurd to sound off about your own sex life and values anonymously online without knowing anything about the person on the receiving end. Especially since no one here has even asked for advice.
In other words, there is a obviously great deal of individuality in the context of a full life and other pleasures or interests that may or may not be available to compensate....
Mamoru-kun
Wanderer
- 25 Aug 2005
- 256
- 9
Thanks Rick 303 (he'll know what I mean ;-)). Hope you'll have the chance, as I had, to find "a dream" girl ;-)
kirei_na_me
Where I'm Supposed to Be
- 31 Jan 2003
- 5,051
- 166
John also cheated on Yoko numerous times...
- 19 Jan 2005
- 1,972
- 232
Rich303 said:
Quite the opposite Rich. I can attest to what Mamoru-kun said. Most of the Japanese woman I have known have been the most sexualy active creatures I have ever known. Their libidos and curosity, their uninhibitedness and their willingness to try almost anything once has amazed me. For most you would never know it out in public as they are not into public displays of affection and do not dress as provocative as western women. However, once you get them behind closed doors, look out! They can have the ability to amaze the most experienced of men.Mamoru-kun said:
I have very limited experience with Western women, but from what I hear from most of my friends and aquaintances, sex dries up pretty fast for them. Of course there are exceptions like kirei na me, but it seems to me to be quite rare-at least from the people who opened up to me about it.
It has always amazed me that Japanese males have such "low libidos" with their wives, but will go after almost anyone when out their friends. If their wife was a dead fish, I could understand it, but I only once met a Japanese female dead fish in my younger days and from what I hear and read, most Japanese wives are starved for some sexual gratification.
Now, I don't disagree with nor fault anyone who wants to hold their virginity 'till marriage if that is their choice. But would you, male or female, actually buy a car without test driving it first to see how it handles, and if that is the car for you? Not me.
kirei_na_me
Where I'm Supposed to Be
- 31 Jan 2003
- 5,051
- 166
It's funny, because I've always heard the exact opposite. I've heard the same thing about the women that I have the men. The majority of men that I know who have had relationships with Japanese women have said they lose interest as soon as they have children.
In fact, I think it's a universal thing that women get blamed for the lack of libido after marriage. Not just American women, not just Japanese women, but women of all nationalities. I wonder if the men who say those things ever consider it could be their fault?
In fact, I think it's a universal thing that women get blamed for the lack of libido after marriage. Not just American women, not just Japanese women, but women of all nationalities. I wonder if the men who say those things ever consider it could be their fault?
Mamoru-kun
Wanderer
- 25 Aug 2005
- 256
- 9
That was true for me too (even if not invalidating my last posts. The "sex sessions" are still famous). I just wonder if it's related only to japanese women...kirei_na_me said:
Hard to say, but I believe that, having childs or not, women libido -usually- decreases faster that men's one with age. Older people than I could perhaps confirm or infirm that...kirei_na_me said:
- 19 Jan 2005
- 1,972
- 232
I think you may be right on this point kirei as, since we have never had children, I cannot compare my own experiences and thus cannot give an accurate answer. I can only relate what I have been told by friends and aquaintances and it could very well be the man's point of view only. If I relayed a false point of view, I stand corrected.kirei na me said:
From everything I have read and heard, and experienced with my own wife, the woman's libido increases with age as the man's decreases while still in his 20's. It is true in my own experience and I am grateful forMamoru-kun said:
1) Viagra ( for round #2) and
2.) My wife's still strong sex drive in her 40's.
Mamoru-kun
Wanderer
- 25 Aug 2005
- 256
- 9
Ho, sorry, perhaps it's my english mistake. I wasn't speaking about the body reaction to sex, but more about the envy of having sex (that what I thought to be "libido"). I mean, it seems to me that older woman "need", well, less sex that men arround the same age.
kirei_na_me
Where I'm Supposed to Be
- 31 Jan 2003
- 5,051
- 166
I am definitely not for casual sex. I don't care what anyone says, that's a dangerous game.
Doc
Government Man
- 13 Feb 2005
- 1,356
- 72
Sex with Emotion > Casual Sex
What the hell? I may as well post my thoughts, or it'll bug me all day. Personally I find casual sex to a rather, well stupid way to have sex. The health risks involved are just too great for me to feel that way about sex. Not only that, but the value and concept of sex in that mentality is unappreciative, and it really makes me sick. I find casual sex to be the worse reason to have sex, and I'll tell you why.
I go to the Powell Symphony Hall sometimes to listen to the St. Louis Symphony Orchestra perform. They are the number one in the country, so you can understand why I like to go and listen to them perform. Now when I go to see the Symphony I dress up in a very nice suit. Now you're probably wondering why I am wearing a suit. I'm wearing a suit because it is a formal event, and also a special event that doesn't happen every day. It is not like attending the Symphony is an everyday routine for me.
Now when I get to Powell Symphony Hall I notice several people there are also clothed in formal suits and dresses. Out of a hundred percent I see about eighty-five percent of those who attend the Symphony to be wearing the proper attire. What about the other fifteen percent? That other fifteen percent of people I notice come in with jeans, t-shirts, sneakers, sandals, and all other sorts of casual wear. They wear this not because they can't afford some type of formal wear, far from it. They wear this clothing because they see nothing special about the event taking place right before them; to them it's nothing more than just another causal event.
What the people don't realize is that they don't feel the special feelings that one might get while attending the Symphony. Whether it is relaxation, enjoyment, whatever it'll never be on par with those who dressed up for the event. Not only that, but when I finally make it home and take off my suit, and slip into my causal wear I feel good and relaxed for not only getting out of that suit, but also because I was a part of something special, and got a lot of enjoyment out of it just for participating. I was a part of something that was not of an every day routine. Going to the Symphony just didn't become another thing that I do. No it still remains something that I overly enjoy even though I dress up for it (but that's half the fun).
The same can be said about causal sex. People who practice casual sex never really take in account the feelings that you receive from it. Instead it just becomes another routine, a thing to do, a petty hedonistic pleasure that is purely physical, and lacking the emotional department. Rather than being something that you need from time to time, it just because an ordinary routine rather than something out of need. The exhilaration, the pleasure, the intimacy, the love, and any other emotion that comes from sex are tossed out the window. When it comes to casual sex, the people who practice it really don't understand that they doing something that is special, and because of that the emotional and sensitivity level that a person might have practicing casual sex will be nowhere near the height of a person who is not practicing casual sex. What I'm trying to get to is that sex is something special anymore, it's just a thing you do.
Now some of you might think, ﾂ"Come on man! You're such a stickler! Why aren't you a part of the 21st century for once?ﾂ" I'm not uptight at all. In fact I embrace sex as a need. If we didn't have sex, we couldn't reproduce, plus sex is a basic human need because of our evolution over other mammals. It isn't just for survival anymore; it's also an expression of love, lust, and various other emotions of intimacy that a human being may have for another human being. No matter how much you want to deny it, sex is mostly emotional not physical. If this wasn't so then why is it that a lot of people can't have sex unless they feel emotionally attached to someone? You see when you practice causal sex all the special feelings we get during sex is thrown out the window.
Now I'm not saying that every time you have sex must be a memorable and fantasy like experience. If you think that then you really are losing the point of my argument. I'm not trying to sugar coat anything here. Sure sex isn't as frilly as people think it is, but it's hardly just a simple physical act. If you think there's not emotion tied with sex then you're dead wrong. No matter how many partners you have, no matter how many times you have sex, if done correctly with the right partner it is an experience that you get a lot of feeling of appreciation out of it whether you realize it or not. If you practice casual sex then, sex isn't special anymore, it isn't meaningful, and the emotions you mostly get out of sex aren't there.
So what do people fall back on that practice causal sex? Well pretty much nothing. There's not emotional attachment, and considering that sex is 95% emotional then all sex can really fall back on is that 5% of physical act which isn't much to go on. Basically sex has become nothing more than a routine for those who practical casual sex, and have no appreciation for how good it really can be. I've been studying sexology for the past three years now at a steady level. Just because I've never had sex doesn't mean that I don't understand what goes into it. From all the books, surveys, studies, and various other investigations into the human sexuality it can be most certain confirmed that our emotions, libido, and compatibility with a partner dictate our sexual experience rather than the physical aspect gained from it all.
It is because of that people who live in the causal sex life become extremely hedonistic, and always strive for the perfect physical experience when it comes to sex. Unfortunately, it really just leaves the person burned out, bored, and having not much to fall back on when it comes to sex. People who have causal sex usually don't take into account the health risks involved with sleeping around. So what I'm trying to get to is that casual sex is both wrong in the health department, as well as, the satisfaction and appreciation that people normally get out of sex. If you don't think that sex is a special event that takes place even if you only do it five times a week then you're dead wrong. As I said before it is your emotions, libido, and partner that dictate how good your sexual experience is, not basing it on just the physical aspect.
Those of you who don't have causal sex I'm sure understand what I'm talking about here. Admit it, don't you feel good after you have sex emotionally? Doesn't it feel good to appreciate what you just experienced, especially after great sex? You see people who have causal sex don't feel the same way you do. They just look at the physical aspect, and did that satisfy them (which is usually no). For human beings sex is a lot more complicated than you think so don't sit there and tell me that it isn't. There is a lot that goes into sex, even though I've never had sex, I've studied it enough to know that it isn't just a wham, bam, thank you ma'am type thing as you may be lead to believe.
There is a lot of feeling that comes out of good sex. Unfortunately, those who practice causal sex just don't see it that way. I find it rather sad because I feel that those who do in fact practice casual sex are missing out on a lot. There are many things that come attached to sex both emotional and physical. To deprive yourself of those experiences is shame in my opinion. So to me casual sex is the worse way to have sex because you not only deprive yourself of something special, but also the health risks that are involved. Now if anybody here practices casual sex, then more power to you. I'll just be in the bedroom having sex with my girlfriend appreciating what I'm getting both physically and emotionally even if it's not an everyday thing, and enjoying all the sensations that I get rather than going to a club every night and getting laid by five girls only to be still left unsatisfied.
(If I touched a nerve with anybody you have my sincerest apologies.)
Doc
What the hell? I may as well post my thoughts, or it'll bug me all day. Personally I find casual sex to a rather, well stupid way to have sex. The health risks involved are just too great for me to feel that way about sex. Not only that, but the value and concept of sex in that mentality is unappreciative, and it really makes me sick. I find casual sex to be the worse reason to have sex, and I'll tell you why.
I go to the Powell Symphony Hall sometimes to listen to the St. Louis Symphony Orchestra perform. They are the number one in the country, so you can understand why I like to go and listen to them perform. Now when I go to see the Symphony I dress up in a very nice suit. Now you're probably wondering why I am wearing a suit. I'm wearing a suit because it is a formal event, and also a special event that doesn't happen every day. It is not like attending the Symphony is an everyday routine for me.
Now when I get to Powell Symphony Hall I notice several people there are also clothed in formal suits and dresses. Out of a hundred percent I see about eighty-five percent of those who attend the Symphony to be wearing the proper attire. What about the other fifteen percent? That other fifteen percent of people I notice come in with jeans, t-shirts, sneakers, sandals, and all other sorts of casual wear. They wear this not because they can't afford some type of formal wear, far from it. They wear this clothing because they see nothing special about the event taking place right before them; to them it's nothing more than just another causal event.
What the people don't realize is that they don't feel the special feelings that one might get while attending the Symphony. Whether it is relaxation, enjoyment, whatever it'll never be on par with those who dressed up for the event. Not only that, but when I finally make it home and take off my suit, and slip into my causal wear I feel good and relaxed for not only getting out of that suit, but also because I was a part of something special, and got a lot of enjoyment out of it just for participating. I was a part of something that was not of an every day routine. Going to the Symphony just didn't become another thing that I do. No it still remains something that I overly enjoy even though I dress up for it (but that's half the fun).
The same can be said about causal sex. People who practice casual sex never really take in account the feelings that you receive from it. Instead it just becomes another routine, a thing to do, a petty hedonistic pleasure that is purely physical, and lacking the emotional department. Rather than being something that you need from time to time, it just because an ordinary routine rather than something out of need. The exhilaration, the pleasure, the intimacy, the love, and any other emotion that comes from sex are tossed out the window. When it comes to casual sex, the people who practice it really don't understand that they doing something that is special, and because of that the emotional and sensitivity level that a person might have practicing casual sex will be nowhere near the height of a person who is not practicing casual sex. What I'm trying to get to is that sex is something special anymore, it's just a thing you do.
Now some of you might think, ﾂ"Come on man! You're such a stickler! Why aren't you a part of the 21st century for once?ﾂ" I'm not uptight at all. In fact I embrace sex as a need. If we didn't have sex, we couldn't reproduce, plus sex is a basic human need because of our evolution over other mammals. It isn't just for survival anymore; it's also an expression of love, lust, and various other emotions of intimacy that a human being may have for another human being. No matter how much you want to deny it, sex is mostly emotional not physical. If this wasn't so then why is it that a lot of people can't have sex unless they feel emotionally attached to someone? You see when you practice causal sex all the special feelings we get during sex is thrown out the window.
Now I'm not saying that every time you have sex must be a memorable and fantasy like experience. If you think that then you really are losing the point of my argument. I'm not trying to sugar coat anything here. Sure sex isn't as frilly as people think it is, but it's hardly just a simple physical act. If you think there's not emotion tied with sex then you're dead wrong. No matter how many partners you have, no matter how many times you have sex, if done correctly with the right partner it is an experience that you get a lot of feeling of appreciation out of it whether you realize it or not. If you practice casual sex then, sex isn't special anymore, it isn't meaningful, and the emotions you mostly get out of sex aren't there.
So what do people fall back on that practice causal sex? Well pretty much nothing. There's not emotional attachment, and considering that sex is 95% emotional then all sex can really fall back on is that 5% of physical act which isn't much to go on. Basically sex has become nothing more than a routine for those who practical casual sex, and have no appreciation for how good it really can be. I've been studying sexology for the past three years now at a steady level. Just because I've never had sex doesn't mean that I don't understand what goes into it. From all the books, surveys, studies, and various other investigations into the human sexuality it can be most certain confirmed that our emotions, libido, and compatibility with a partner dictate our sexual experience rather than the physical aspect gained from it all.
It is because of that people who live in the causal sex life become extremely hedonistic, and always strive for the perfect physical experience when it comes to sex. Unfortunately, it really just leaves the person burned out, bored, and having not much to fall back on when it comes to sex. People who have causal sex usually don't take into account the health risks involved with sleeping around. So what I'm trying to get to is that casual sex is both wrong in the health department, as well as, the satisfaction and appreciation that people normally get out of sex. If you don't think that sex is a special event that takes place even if you only do it five times a week then you're dead wrong. As I said before it is your emotions, libido, and partner that dictate how good your sexual experience is, not basing it on just the physical aspect.
Those of you who don't have causal sex I'm sure understand what I'm talking about here. Admit it, don't you feel good after you have sex emotionally? Doesn't it feel good to appreciate what you just experienced, especially after great sex? You see people who have causal sex don't feel the same way you do. They just look at the physical aspect, and did that satisfy them (which is usually no). For human beings sex is a lot more complicated than you think so don't sit there and tell me that it isn't. There is a lot that goes into sex, even though I've never had sex, I've studied it enough to know that it isn't just a wham, bam, thank you ma'am type thing as you may be lead to believe.
There is a lot of feeling that comes out of good sex. Unfortunately, those who practice causal sex just don't see it that way. I find it rather sad because I feel that those who do in fact practice casual sex are missing out on a lot. There are many things that come attached to sex both emotional and physical. To deprive yourself of those experiences is shame in my opinion. So to me casual sex is the worse way to have sex because you not only deprive yourself of something special, but also the health risks that are involved. Now if anybody here practices casual sex, then more power to you. I'll just be in the bedroom having sex with my girlfriend appreciating what I'm getting both physically and emotionally even if it's not an everyday thing, and enjoying all the sensations that I get rather than going to a club every night and getting laid by five girls only to be still left unsatisfied.
(If I touched a nerve with anybody you have my sincerest apologies.)
Doc
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Rich303
後輩
- 31 Mar 2005
- 597
- 22
Doc, despite what you said in your rather rude PM, I agree with you that casual sex is not a good idea, not for me anyway.
Apart from the obvious health risks, emotion-free sex is empty and unrewarding.
There is nothing that compares to the connection you get looking into the eyes of someone you love.
I waited until I was with someone I cared about and felt safe with before I lost my viginity, despite what you may think, Doc.
I think the rest is covered in my reply to your PM.
Peace!
Apart from the obvious health risks, emotion-free sex is empty and unrewarding.
There is nothing that compares to the connection you get looking into the eyes of someone you love.
I waited until I was with someone I cared about and felt safe with before I lost my viginity, despite what you may think, Doc.
I think the rest is covered in my reply to your PM.
Peace!
Tsuyoiko
DON'T PANIC!
- 11 Mar 2005
- 3,136
- 165
I more or less agree with what Doc says. I don't think people who have 'casual sex' need to be always villified though. If someone is between relationships, the opportunity is there and both parties are willing, understand the situation, and are careful I don't have a problem with it. It is only a problem if it is habitual. I try to eat healthily, but occasionally I will just eat junk. Occasionally people just want a quick release for purely physical reasons, and as long as both people are OK with that then we have no right to judge. But I would advise everyone to save their virginity for someone special.
- 28 Jul 2005
- 5,238
- 172
Me too; I can pretty much go with Doc on that--maybe a few points could prove to be worth looking into.
A couple of things on the Japan scene here. From my own--and you all know by now-- experiences and from what I've heard others talk about, it could be said that old Japanese society, a very patriarchal one at that, considered the raising of children and running the house to be the woman's job. Of course it's changing now. A large number of women of my generation admit that having given birth, their focus of care and bonding goes towards the child rather than the husband. I have felt that, and have done what I could to adjust that 'habit'. It is said by the experts that female libido (and this is an average) increases later in life.
Now besides the children, it also lies in part in the husbands lack of effort in helping out around the house. According to one survery by Sonni Efron, staff writer for the Los Angeles Times who is well known for her expertise on Japan, one statisic that Japanese wives often refer to is that of the average time Japanese men spend with housework and children (esp. infants?) per day--32 minutes; compared to 4.5 hours for women. That would dampen energy for sex for sure. (LA Times, June 26, 2001)
But everything has pretty much been said here about the subject, it seems. I'll just make an honest effort to the smoothness I enjoy now, smooth--and do my best to educate my mostly female students who so often have so little information here in Japan. Oh there was a good book put out by one Japanese lady entitled 'Sex Volunteer' about taking care of the sexual needs of the physical and mentally challenged. I've gotta work on my kanji reading more--I wish I could do it like Elizibeth...wow !!
And yeah, there may be some loss of libido after marriage if both parties don't do their darndest to keep it up.
A couple of things on the Japan scene here. From my own--and you all know by now-- experiences and from what I've heard others talk about, it could be said that old Japanese society, a very patriarchal one at that, considered the raising of children and running the house to be the woman's job. Of course it's changing now. A large number of women of my generation admit that having given birth, their focus of care and bonding goes towards the child rather than the husband. I have felt that, and have done what I could to adjust that 'habit'. It is said by the experts that female libido (and this is an average) increases later in life.
Now besides the children, it also lies in part in the husbands lack of effort in helping out around the house. According to one survery by Sonni Efron, staff writer for the Los Angeles Times who is well known for her expertise on Japan, one statisic that Japanese wives often refer to is that of the average time Japanese men spend with housework and children (esp. infants?) per day--32 minutes; compared to 4.5 hours for women. That would dampen energy for sex for sure. (LA Times, June 26, 2001)
But everything has pretty much been said here about the subject, it seems. I'll just make an honest effort to the smoothness I enjoy now, smooth--and do my best to educate my mostly female students who so often have so little information here in Japan. Oh there was a good book put out by one Japanese lady entitled 'Sex Volunteer' about taking care of the sexual needs of the physical and mentally challenged. I've gotta work on my kanji reading more--I wish I could do it like Elizibeth...wow !!
And yeah, there may be some loss of libido after marriage if both parties don't do their darndest to keep it up.
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Doc
Government Man
- 13 Feb 2005
- 1,356
- 72
Rich303 said:
My apologies for my brashness in my PM. I was just offended that you would make such a judgmental comment in that particular post that you made. Once you again you have my apologies for acting out of line. The rest can be stated in the new PM that I sent you.
EDIT: Oh and thank you guys for your kind words on my thoughts about casual sex. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one here that feels that way.
Doc
Last edited:
- 19 Jan 2005
- 1,972
- 232
No. I don't think they have a higher libido than western women. It depends on culture and religion and upbringing. But, from my experiences with both back in the day, I feel that that Japanese women are more open about sex than the western women I have known and heard about from friends and aquaintances. And they (Japanese women) are not afraid of it. To the Japanese women I have known, sex is a natural human function to be shared and enjoyed by two consenting adults. Not one of my friends/aquaintances has a satisfying sexual life with their wives. My wife only knows one woman who does. Maybe I am in the minority. I don't know.Doc said:
Don't misunderstand me here, I have known a couple of western woman who had very, very high libidos and couldn't get enough. On the other hand I have also known (and heard about) more western (US) women who were too hung up on sex and considered most things in the bedroom perverted. Call it what you will; again, their upbringing, culture, and religion plays a big part in their inhibitions. I was once told by an american woman that, "If that is the type of sex you want in your women than I am not the one for you. Go find someone else." So I did. Not once has any Japanese woman ever said anything even remotely similar to that.
I was very inhibited during sex in my early years probably because of my upbringing as a Catholic. Sex was never talked about and I was led to believe that it was only to have children. It was Japanese women who led me into the wonderful world of all aspects of sex and that sex was not "dirty" or to just have children. It took a while for me to overcome my own inhibitions and gain my own sexual freedom mentally and have fun with sex instead of being hung up about all the time.
However, I still believe it, again, all boils down to culture and religion. After all aren't the Europeans less hung up and less inhibited about sex than the US? I believe that the US is the most sexually repressive and hung up nation in the world.
Just look at the Janet Jackson fiasco. How stupid. I saw the Jackson thing on live TV and I didn't know if she showed a breast or not as the camera was too far away. I remember saying to my wife, "Did she just do what I think she did?"
A bare breast for 1/100th of a second barely visible on live TV and the country goes psycho and needs therapy. "Oh my god! What about the children?" How puritanical when in Europe and Japan bare breasts are visible on TV almost every night and no one blinks an eyebrow.
Still, in keeping with the subject, if someone wants to remain a virgin until marriage it is not for me to say they are wrong. To each his/her own.
- 19 Jan 2005
- 1,972
- 232
You do bring up a valid point here Doc and you do make a good analogy but let's remember something here. There are two types of sex in my opinion for us human animals.Doc said:
1. Casual sex, which is just sex for the sake of having sex with no emotional attachments.
2. Making love, which is having sex with a partner you are emotionally attached to.
There is quite a distinction here and since you yourself have never experienced sex, all the book learning in the world will not give you the experience to pass judgement. It is tantamount to someone giving their opinion on truck drivers based on things they've read or heard when they themselves have no clue as to what experiences a truck driver goes through on a daily basis. As an old Indian saying goes, paraphrasing here, "Do not pass judgement until you have walked a mile in my moccassins."
Humans are the only animal born into this world with a sex drive and can have sex on a daily basis. In fact for the male human it is a NEED. It is in our hormones and genes. We MUST have sexual release with a partner or by "slapping the clown" on a regular basis or we run the risk of emotional problems and disease. A recent study reported in the Journal of American Medicine (JAMA) done in England I think, reported that, if the male has 21 orgasims a month, he reduces his risk of prostate cancer by more than 50%. Leaving sperm to build up in the body, although naturally released back into the body on a regular basis, increases the risk of disease. Therefore, it can be said that your health is in your own hands!
Any man who says he does not "slap the clown" or "spank the monkey" is a liar in my opinion. Either that or he is not a healthy individual.Therefore, casual sex with a willing and consenting partner should be accepted as a normal human function. There need not be any emotional attachment to receive full satisfaction. I have experienced casual sex numerous times in the past and was more often than not satisfied. Of course there were times when I did it for the sole sake of just having sex and woke up in the morning thinking, "What the hell was I thinking last night?" Still it was a normal human function between two consenting adults and I never once thought I did anything wrong after overcoming my inhibitions as stated in the post above. It was just a non-emotional, physical release of human nature. Besides it is more fun to have this "release" with a willing partner than "spanking the monkey." If it were not normal than why were we made that way? Why must it be the driving force of every males life? It is said that, for the human male, the idea of sex crosses his mind at least once every 7 minutes or so. Most males just learn to reign in that most basic of urges. Others cannot control it, refuse to "slap the clown" and therefore rape or sexually harrass woman to relieve the urge.
Making Love, on the other hand, is whole different animal. When making love with a partner you are emotionally attached to, both physically and mentally (being in love), it is quite a different experience and yes, is more satisfying as your emotional and psychological needs are fulfilled as well, both for the male and for the female by each other at the same time. When you are in love with a person and you both click, especially in the bedroom, it is a much more gratifying experience than casual sex with someone you hardly know.
In conclusion, casual sex should by no means be deemed inappropriate as we are made that way. As some would say, God made us that way, and we all know God does not make any junk or make any mistakes. Casual sex needs no emotional or psychological attachment to be satisfying for both parties. If casual sex was a bad thing than why has prostitution been around since the dawn of mankind? And why have many men, whether working men, politicallly elite men, religious men, and so on been caught partaking in illicit sex with a prostitute or a partner that was not his wife? Because it is human nature to have sex that's why. And if a man or woman cannot get the type of sex they desire from their partner, they will usually seek it out elsewhere if they have no self control.
Whether it is right or wrong is not for me to say. But even in the OT Bible, men were allowed to have more than one wife. But in today's world one must be careful of disease and AID's and should always use protection if you do not know your partner when having casual sex.
As an old saying goes, "If you are not making love to your spouse or significant other, someone else will be."
And in keeping with the theme of this thread, if one wants to retain his/her virginity until marriage who am I to say they are wrong? To each his/her own.
P.S.: These thought provoking posts are killing me! I just lost another hours sleep answering this thread! Night all!
Doc
Government Man
- 13 Feb 2005
- 1,356
- 72
Another Thought Provoking Post By The Great Trucker Pachipro
Once again Pachipro you make some very valid points. I hope you realize you make me feel like a deer stuck in the headlights of an oncoming vehicle when you do that. Anyway I understand where you're coming from, and maybe I should have been clearer about my thoughts on casual sex. I understand that it is human nature to have causal sex. I mean come on, most successful serious relationships and marriages have casual sex along with emotional sex. If you didn't have both you'd be in trouble like you said. (Maybe we can have Kirei as our spokeswoman on that one. ;-)) Having too little can be a big problem, but so can having too much too.
My thoughts on casual sex were actually geared towards those who make a lifestyle out of it. Your Hugh Heffner, Larry Flint, and other playboys and playgirls are these types of people who do such things. I'm talking about the people who live in complete debauchery, and have very little regard to limitations. Now I understand we live in a society where we have become more sexual and that sex sells, so I'm not taking this on from some religious point of view. I'm doing this from an ethical and health point of view. I think this whole close minded mentality that religion has tried to put on us about sex is sick as we are sexual beings, and can learn things about our sexuality that we never thought possible.
Still too much sex can be a bad thing as I stated before. Making a complete life style out of it makes you have little or no appreciation for sex in both the physical and emotional departments. The risk of STDs, VD, and other health risks become a major problem as a lot these people don't use protection. Not only that, but they get burned out, and always look for the next quick physical fix which leads to a life full of unfulfilled in the end. Prostitutes I think have the worst end of it considering that they only do it for the money (not all but most). Still without these shallow and debouched people, human kind wouldn't have the ability to explore their sexuality, so in a sense I guess you could say it's a good thing we have these types of people around.
Still having a lot of people living that kind of lifestyle is a problem, and I know I for one wouldn't want to live. However, as they say different strokes for different folks. If you want to sit there in a shallow mind set, being in a drug, alcohol, and bad sex induced haze then more power to you. As I said I'm not denying that humanity doesn't need casual sex, after all committed and loving partners do it with each other all the time. I'm just saying living a fully hedonistic life where casual sex is the routine can be severely damaging in the end. Of course the same can be said about too little sex, and because of dogmatic morons who think they can make the decisions for us, you then have people who do go off to prostitutes and the like to get their fill or fix of sex.
So basically either having too little sex or too much sex can be a bad thing. If you have too little sex is can still cause health problems (especially for men), and the heightening risk of your partner cheating on you because their libido isn't getting enough. At the same token too much sex can degrade you appreciation of sex, as well as, cause some major health issues. So what does that tell us? That serious and married couples need to compromise not only on sex, but explore their sexuality together to keep it going. So basically you need a sort of balance in your sex life, which can be a very hard thing to obtain, but can be very rewarding in the end for both you and your partner. (Insert Pachipro's try before you buy comment. )
Oh and one last thing I forgot to mention. Pachipro, you were talking about masturbation correct? You know I've been studying the effects of masturbation in serious and committed relationships, and have discovered from sexual therapists that it should be practiced more often rather than shunned. Masturbation apparently is a great outlet for those who either can't get enough sometimes, as well as, enhancing one's sexual relationship with their partner. It is suggested that both partners should watch each other while they masturbate as it can bring a whole new level of closeness not only sexually, but emotionally too. I found that to be very interesting. So those of you who are married or in a serious relationship should try that out. It could not only help you sexually and open up even more of your sexuality, but also bring you and your partner closer together as well. I also found out on average that women masturbate more per day than men do (talk about a shocker
).
So once again I commend you Pachipro on your thought provoking posts, and also getting me to explain more from my standpoint on casual sex. You and several others make this forum a great place to be with your well thought out posts, and comments towards others. Keep up the good work!
Doc
Once again Pachipro you make some very valid points. I hope you realize you make me feel like a deer stuck in the headlights of an oncoming vehicle when you do that. Anyway I understand where you're coming from, and maybe I should have been clearer about my thoughts on casual sex. I understand that it is human nature to have causal sex. I mean come on, most successful serious relationships and marriages have casual sex along with emotional sex. If you didn't have both you'd be in trouble like you said. (Maybe we can have Kirei as our spokeswoman on that one. ;-)) Having too little can be a big problem, but so can having too much too.
My thoughts on casual sex were actually geared towards those who make a lifestyle out of it. Your Hugh Heffner, Larry Flint, and other playboys and playgirls are these types of people who do such things. I'm talking about the people who live in complete debauchery, and have very little regard to limitations. Now I understand we live in a society where we have become more sexual and that sex sells, so I'm not taking this on from some religious point of view. I'm doing this from an ethical and health point of view. I think this whole close minded mentality that religion has tried to put on us about sex is sick as we are sexual beings, and can learn things about our sexuality that we never thought possible.
Still too much sex can be a bad thing as I stated before. Making a complete life style out of it makes you have little or no appreciation for sex in both the physical and emotional departments. The risk of STDs, VD, and other health risks become a major problem as a lot these people don't use protection. Not only that, but they get burned out, and always look for the next quick physical fix which leads to a life full of unfulfilled in the end. Prostitutes I think have the worst end of it considering that they only do it for the money (not all but most). Still without these shallow and debouched people, human kind wouldn't have the ability to explore their sexuality, so in a sense I guess you could say it's a good thing we have these types of people around.
Still having a lot of people living that kind of lifestyle is a problem, and I know I for one wouldn't want to live. However, as they say different strokes for different folks. If you want to sit there in a shallow mind set, being in a drug, alcohol, and bad sex induced haze then more power to you. As I said I'm not denying that humanity doesn't need casual sex, after all committed and loving partners do it with each other all the time. I'm just saying living a fully hedonistic life where casual sex is the routine can be severely damaging in the end. Of course the same can be said about too little sex, and because of dogmatic morons who think they can make the decisions for us, you then have people who do go off to prostitutes and the like to get their fill or fix of sex.
So basically either having too little sex or too much sex can be a bad thing. If you have too little sex is can still cause health problems (especially for men), and the heightening risk of your partner cheating on you because their libido isn't getting enough. At the same token too much sex can degrade you appreciation of sex, as well as, cause some major health issues. So what does that tell us? That serious and married couples need to compromise not only on sex, but explore their sexuality together to keep it going. So basically you need a sort of balance in your sex life, which can be a very hard thing to obtain, but can be very rewarding in the end for both you and your partner. (Insert Pachipro's try before you buy comment.
)Oh and one last thing I forgot to mention. Pachipro, you were talking about masturbation correct? You know I've been studying the effects of masturbation in serious and committed relationships, and have discovered from sexual therapists that it should be practiced more often rather than shunned. Masturbation apparently is a great outlet for those who either can't get enough sometimes, as well as, enhancing one's sexual relationship with their partner. It is suggested that both partners should watch each other while they masturbate as it can bring a whole new level of closeness not only sexually, but emotionally too. I found that to be very interesting. So those of you who are married or in a serious relationship should try that out. It could not only help you sexually and open up even more of your sexuality, but also bring you and your partner closer together as well. I also found out on average that women masturbate more per day than men do (talk about a shocker
). So once again I commend you Pachipro on your thought provoking posts, and also getting me to explain more from my standpoint on casual sex. You and several others make this forum a great place to be with your well thought out posts, and comments towards others. Keep up the good work!
Doc
Tsuyoiko
DON'T PANIC!
- 11 Mar 2005
- 3,136
- 165
Pachipro said:
For the human female too. It might not have the same physical implications as for a man, but the emotional need is still there. Like Brooker said earlier in the thread, once you try it you are hooked to some degree. And thanks for that stat about preventing prostrate cancer. I will use that one on my husband when all else fails.
Duo
As the Rush Comes
- 25 Apr 2003
- 1,496
- 68
Mamoru-kun said:
That seems contradictory because women have their sexual peak at the 35-40 age frame. I know sm girls that desire sex just as much maybe even more than some guys. True, they are isolated cases. The ideal would be a smone who is balanced and conforms to your degree and magniture of sexual desires and ethics.
