Virginity

[LilKewtyChic]

I'm wondering...How do people feel about saving their virginity until marriage?

 

[Doc]

I guess the answer to that question lies in a person's moral, ethical, resonable, logical, sometimes hedonistic, and sometimes religious beliefs. A comfort zone could also be applied to this. What do you feel most comfortable with? Safety would be another issue as well. What I'm trying to get to is that there are many factors that could come into play for the reason why a person may or may not save themselves until marriage. As for myself I really don't care one way or the other whether I save my virginity until marriage because: A.) I'll probably never get married, B.) I'll probably never find the right woman, and C.) I'll probably never get laid period. So in short I'll probably stay a virgin until the day I die. Although I think sex should be the least of a person's worries. Your happiness and the happiness of those who you love are more important that sex ever could be.

Doc

 

[LilKewtyChic]

wow u made a good point in the last two sentences...but why, if you dont mind me asking, do you think you'll never find the right woman?

I'm thinking bout saving my virginity for marriage so I could make sure that I'm am giving myself to a person who is worth it...not to someone who might leave me after he gets what he wants

 

[Doc]

One word: trust. That's the reason why. Let's just say I had a very bad past that has deeply scarred me even though I have moved on. I can understand you wanting to wait until you're married to have sex, just remember that there is a lot more that goes into a marriage, A LOT.

Doc

 

[Ma Cherie]

I believe it's a person's choice to wait until marriage. We live in a society that discourages this kind ethic (lots of ethics at that). Saving yourself doesn't make someone "prudish" or it shouldn't make someone prudish. That person just simply feels that sex isn't like shaking someone's hand, because that's how sex is treated these days. It is also about personal choice, not doing it because "everyone else" is.

 

[Brooker]

There's nothing wrong with waiting. Just don't expect "Mr. Right" is going to be a virgin too. Just because he's had some "experiences" doesn't mean he's a bad guy.

 

[Jungle Boy]

Not really important to me honestly. At 21 I'm still virgin and in no hurry to give it up. I'm not going to sleep with a girl until I feel comfortable with her and care about her. No slutting around for me thanks. It's just not my nature to be honest. If I happen to meet a nice girl, we click, we care for each other and she wants to then I'm sure as hell not waiting to get married.

 

[mad pierrot]

I beg your pardon, but....

Excuse me, I've seem to have lost my virginity, can I have yours?













(Sorry,ﾂ I couldn't resist.)

 

[MajideSaiaku]

I lost my virginity at 19, so i wasnt in any hurry to misplace it, i certainly wasnt going to wait until marriage, its a respectable decision for those who take it but, i just figure, marriage, like alot of things, is a matter of chance, and who knows if i'll ever get it, then theres the problem of, who will wait for me if i wait for marriage?, then theres the fact there's always gonig to be the pressure to marry.

Finally IMHO and in no way critical of those who choose it, i think waiting until marriage doesnt make much sense to me.


Of course i was adamant i would not **** myself out as its been called, i waited for the right person i felt comfortable with, who i loved and who loved me back.

Its interesting to note my first and only relationship in all its glory is with a japanese girl.

 

[Mycernius]

Ethics and personal feelings should determine whether you want to have sex before marriage or after. Modern society doesn't really condone it like it used to. Mind you that can change if you live in a conservative area or a country that sees it as a absolute no no.
Just as a slighly off topic question: Why is a woman who sleeps around a lot seen as a ****, yet if a man does the same thing he is seen as a stud? It seems despite all our loser morals that women still get the short end of the stick

 

[Tsuyoiko]

I'm glad I didn't wait until I was married. I think if I had it would be harder for me to be faithful. Because I have had other partners I know that the grass isn't greener elsewhere.

 

[Jungle Boy]

Excuse me, I've seem to have lost my virginity, can I have yours?













(Sorry,ﾂ I couldn't resist.)

Buy me a drink first handsome and we will see where it gets you.....

 

[Grandpa Frank]

I Guess.....

I feel the same about a virgin as an alien space creature, when I meet one, I'll believe they exist.

Frank

 

[Brooker]

Why is a woman who sleeps around a lot seen as a ****, yet if a man does the same thing he is seen as a stud? It seems despite all our loser morals that women still get the short end of the stick

Because with sex the image is that the man is GETTING something and the woman is GIVING something. Getting something takes effort, so we admire those who can do it. But anyone can just give something away. So the image is that the man has accomplished something while the woman has just opened the flood gates and let everyone in.

Tsuyoiko: I'm glad I didn't wait until I was married. I think if I had it would be harder for me to be faithful. Because I have had other partners I know that the grass isn't greener elsewhere.

I agree with this. If you hadn't been with others before, you would always wonder and be curious about it. If you've already been there and done that, then it would be easier to be content with what you have and not concern yourself with what else was out there.

 

[Doc]

You know what always gets me with the whole virginity issue? It's the people who go around saying that you should lose it as quickly as possible because your virginity is such a petty and trivial matter that should be best left ignored. Just go around have as much sex as you want, and live life. There's just one problem with that mentality, where in the hell is your ethical input at? A lot of people that I talk to think that your virginity is just something to push under the rug, and that sex is a physical aspect nothing more. Where's the logic behind that? Do you like breeding like rabbits with babies, VDs, and STDs? Seriously that kind of loose menatlity makes me wonder why people continue to do those things. It's not so much of a morality and religious issue, but rather a health and ethical issue. I guess I'll never understand.

Doc

 

[Davey]

no sex before marriage, i dont believe in it. because sex is a pleasure in life, why wait till mariage? im happy i didnt wait ... but yeah when you dont know about sex, and you want to wait, i dont have a problem with that, just not me LoL

 

[Brooker]

I remember feeling like my virginity was a burden that I wanted to get rid of. The pressure to do it came from my guy friends who had already done it. I felt like a loser because I hadn't done it. I was glad when I lost it. I think I was the right age (not really with the right person, but things don't always work out all perfect like that). However Life seemed a little simpler before I was concerned with sex. I think that's the main reason to wait until you're at least older - you shouldn't have those kinds of complications and concern yourself with such things in your life when you're young.

 

[Doc]

Yes, but I think if you're going to lose your virginity it should be with somebody that you love, and who understands you and your feelings. Losing it just for the sake of it is probably the worst. Sure it may not seem like it but wait another 20 years, and then you'll think differently. Your first time will be something you're going to remember for the rest of your life trust me. Sex is more than just a physical action, it's emotional too. As they say sex is 95% mental and emotional, and 5% physical not the other way around.

Now I'm not saying that a person should wait until they're married, but I think they should do it with somebody that they care about, and vice versa. Your first time can either be a good memory, or a bad memory. It's your maturity that dicatates your values on the matter. Personally losing my virginity is not a matter of pride, or a burden for me. I don't feel like a loser, and I don't feel like I'm missing out on the world either. I'm happy with who I am, and when I find the right person and the moment is right then I'll lose it. It's not something I dwell on because there are more important things in my life than sex.

Doc

 

[Brooker]

Yes, but I think if you're going to lose your virginity it should be with somebody that you love, and who understands you and your feelings.

Ideally every time would be like this, but life is no fairy tale and sometimes the libido gets what the libido wants.

Your first time will be something you're going to remember for the rest of your life trust me.

I think people overemphasize this point. Yes, you remember it, but, so...? I remember a lot of things, but that doesn't necessarily make them monumental moments in my life, and I don't think "loosing it" really was for me. Once you do it, you just kind of realize that it's not really as big a deal as you thought it would be. I wasn't in love with girl #1, but that doesn't make it a bad memory. It's not really a good memory either, it's just a memory. That's how your first time is likely to be - it isn't really good, it isn't really bad, it just IS.

 

[Duo]

complicated subject, many things and views to say
I think that however each person should pace herself/himself into this topic, don't hold anyone else or society as a standard for action. Just do as you feel more comfortable or at ease with. If something feels right to you go ahead. Don't pay attention to peer pressure or pop culture. I know it is easier said than done, but better this way than having to regret something later on

 

[Brooker]

The best advice I could give to anyone thinking about cashing in the ol' V-card is, sex is exactly like a drug, and once you've had it, it won't be long until you're addicted to it and it controls you (to varying degrees). You may even get to the point where you can't go very long without it, which can be a real hastle and can sometimes lead to rather questionable behavior. Enjoy your lack of addiction for as long as your little libido will allow because there's no going back.

 

[Doc]

Ideally every time would be like this, but life is no fairy tale and sometimes the libido gets what the libido wants.

I never said it did. However, you have to take into account that not everybody looks at sex as just a carnal instinct.

I think people overemphasize this point. Yes, you remember it, but, so...? I remember a lot of things, but that doesn't necessarily make them monumental moments in my life, and I don't think "loosing it" really was for me. Once you do it, you just kind of realize that it's not really as big a deal as you thought it would be. I wasn't in love with girl #1, but that doesn't make it a bad memory. It's not really a good memory either, it's just a memory. That's how your first time is likely to be - it isn't really good, it isn't really bad, it just IS.

Yeah well not everybody is as casual about it as you are though too.

Doc

 

[Kara_Nari]

I dont have any problems with people wanting to save themselves till marriage, sometimes I think that perhaps I would have liked to wait a few years longer before I had sex, but at the time I just didnt care. Not many of my friends had had sex, so it wasnt like there was any peer pressure, actually after it happened alot of them were angry with me for not waiting a bit longer. I was young.
I agree with a comment earlier in that there is more to marriage than sex. Even though im not married, my last boyfriend and I didnt have sex that often, we just enjoyed doing other things together. Its not to say that we didnt like having sex together, but it just made it better not having it every day. We based our relationship on other things, getting to know each others minds better, and learning about eachothers cultures and backgrounds, thats why I think it was the best relationship I ever had.
I've never been opposed to random sex with random people, and you can call me whatever you like, but I dont really think of myself that way. Its not what my aim in life is, there are more interesting things about me. If you want to think about a person as a **** go for it, just perhaps it would be nicer to keep your opinions to yourself about that.
Same goes for someone calling a virgin a prude. Everyone has their reasons for doing what they do, and dont expect everybody to give you an explanation as to why. Just respect their wishes to do what they do, and focus more on other points of their personality and characteristics that you do happen to approve of.
I know of guys who have slept with hundreds of women, and nobody seems to comment on that.

 

[Brooker]

However, you have to take into account that not everybody looks at sex as just a carnal instinct.

Believe me, my young friend, it becomes a carnal instinct (although not entirely). Humans are programmed to desire it. That's not to say there aren't emotional things going on as well, I'm all for that.

Yeah well not everybody is as casual about it as you are though too.

Ouch. :auch: I believe you just called me a ****. Getting a little judgmental here, aren't you?

Before you cast stones at me, lets recall some of your comments from Japan's vigin wives turn to sex volunteers

Doc wrote...

As for the Japanese housewives, like I said before bring them to me. Lord knows I need the sex!

...and...

We need to change this topic title to: "Doc and Japanese Virgin Housewives Need Sex."

 

[Doc]

Believe me, my young friend, it becomes a carnal instinct (although not entirely). Humans are programmed to desire it. That's not to say there aren't emotional things going on as well, I'm all for that.

Did you know I've had opportunities in the past to have sex? I turned them all down too. Not because I didn't have the libido, far from it. It was because I have a lot more self control than most people my age do. Hey if you want to go around and have sex with random people be my guest, but I would much rather have my first time experience be a little more intimate and worthwhile than just to have it just out of spite. Considering my personality and how I feel about society in general, it will probably be a long time before I finally ever find the right one to have sex with, but oh well. As I said before there more things to life than just sex.

Ouch. :auch: I believe you just called me a ****. Getting a little judgmental here, aren't you?

Before you cast stones at me, lets recall some of your comments from Japan's vigin wives turn to sex volunteers

Doc wrote...


...and...

Heh, like your reverse psychology isn't going to work on me. Those were jokes my friend, jokes. It's expected for a man my age to add a little raunchy humor in a topic from time to time. Like I said I have the libido, but I also have the will power too.

Doc